Ao ~Blue~
Title : Ao ~Blue~
Part 5 - Remember
Author :
zeon_avalanthe
Rating : PG-13
Genre : AU ; Angst
Pairing : YutoYama [from now on, I'm going to use this call for this pairing.. >,< ]
Disclaimer : Everyone knows that I don't own any of those boys, sadly..
Summary : Ever since he was a little child, he had always loved the stars.. Ever since he was a little child, he had always wanted to be a star.. But as he grew up, big and famous and at the top -finally a star- he wished that he never wished to be star since the very beginning..
Author's Note : After two long years of waiting, finally an update ! >,<
The song used here is Kanade ~Music Fair Version (Sung by Sukimaswitch, Amamiya Sora and Christ Hart)
Ao ~Blue~
Part 5 - Remember
Ryosuke simply want to bury his body and disappear at the constant scoldings his Mother sent to him while fussing over him who could only lie on the bed the next day. She told him on how he should listen to her words and on how he just broke his promise. After telling your Mum that you won’t overexert yourself but still coming out with a 38,7 degree Celcius fever the next day, of course she would burst out. Ryosuke knows it was out of worry, and that’s why he was feeling all guilty about it.
“I’m sorry, Mum. I’ve made you worried again.” He mumbled under his breath as he snuggled deeper into his blanket.
A sigh came from his Mother’s lips as she replaced the cold cloth on his forehead yet again.
“Just, just recover okay ?” His Mother said as she caress his head soothingly.
“Umm.” Ryosuke slowly closed his eyes at the comfort of his Mother’s touch.
“Sleep well, love. We love you.” Was the last thing he heard before he drifted back to sleep.
***
“Thank you for taking me here, Yuto-kun.”
The tall boy simply smiled as he brushed a fallen petal from his hair.
“Anything for you, Yama-chan.”
Ryosuke felt the sour feeling withing his heart being washed away completely at the sight of Yuto’s smile. He’s having one of those days he just want to forget, and Yuto always manage to brighten his mood.
“I love you...” He whispered softly, his voice drifted by the wind, but he was sure that Yuto heard him from the small and content smile on his face.
---
“Him again ? Why is it only him who get the special treatment ? It’s not fair to us !”
“Shh ! You shouldn’t talk to loud ! Someone might hear you !”
“But-“
“Look, I know you’re frustated -I am, too ! But as much as I hate it, I have to admit that he deserved the special treatment.”
“Eventhough all he has is just a pretty face.”
“Don’t say that !”
“But it’s the truth !”
“Hey-“
“We’re older and has much more experience than him, we should at least receive the same thing with him !”
“Look, mate, let’s stop this alrady, ‘kay ? It’s not like it’s entirely his fault we’re not debuted yet.”
“Yeah, but he wouldn’t have debuted yet too ! I bet Yamada is seducing the Director to get whatever he wants.”
The two boys continued to bicker without realizing that the subject of their conversation is only behind the wall, trying to silent his sobs and hide himself from the world. They’re not the first one, and certainly won’t be the last to ever badmouthing him on his back. And Ryosuke thought he’s used to it already, but when the words were said with so much hate, he couldn’t help but felt his heart breaking all over again.
---
“Yamada ! Didn’t I tell you to get here before nine ?” The voice of their dance-lecturer is heard from the corner.
“I’m so sorry.” Ryosuke bowed his apology. “I had a long night yesterday and was only home at four this morning. I thought of catching a little sleep before I had to go here, but I overslept.”
A sigh came from the lecturer’s lips as he waved him off.
“Nah, it’s okay. I know you had a rough schedule. Just make sure you don’t repeat it again.” The man told him tiredly as he called for the others’ attention to start preparing for the practice.
Ryosuke sighed as he placed down his bag at the table and took off his jacket. True to be told, he kinda wished the man to get mad at him with full-force, like how he used to be on his early days, because that would show that the man actually care. It’s not like he doesn’t care about him now, it’s just, Ryosuke know his care now is different than his care in the past. Now, the man simply care about him because he is the said ‘golden boy’, always understanding if he missed a step or two, or whenever he’s late for practice.
And as much as Ryosuke thank the man for that, it’s not what Ryosuke really wants.
---
‘What good there is from that talentless boy anyway ? I like JUMP the way it was, before Johnny decided to put that chubby boy up front.’
‘I totally get you. Sometimes I wonder if Johnny really care about JUMP. I mean, he wouldn’t pick that boy as center otherwise, right ?’
‘Yeah. Always the one to get the special treatment. I’m sick of seeing his face being overly exploited on PV and such you know. I want to see the others more.’
‘To be honest, I think it wasn’t fair that only Ryutaro-kun who got suspended from Johnny’s just because he smoke. I mean, surely that fatty had done worse things ! The company was just using their power to conceal them.’
‘Yeah. It’d be better if it’s that boy who left instead of Ryutaro-kun. It’s such a shame, he’s one handsome boy, too.’
‘Totally. Much much better than that shorty.’
---
“Yama-chan ?”
The boy looked up at the call of his name and found Yuto looking at his tears-stricken face worriedly.
“What’s wrong ?”
He tried to force a smile while giving the taller boy a shake of a head.
“It’s nothing, Yuto-kun. I just-“
Memories of those hurtful words and the way people looked at him came back flashing right before his eyes and Ryosuke just cried harder. He tried to say something but ended up choking on his own sobs.
“Oh my...” Yuto called out as he pulled him into his embrace. “Shh.. It’s okay, Yama-chan. Everything’s going to be okay.”
Ryosuke stay like that for a while, feeling safe under the reassuring hands of Yuto, simply relishing the moment. It felt like forever when his tears finally stopped and he feel like he can talk without choking.
“I’m sorry, Yuto-kun.” He said at last while wiping the last of tears from his eyes. “It’s just, things have been so hard lately and I just can’t take it anymore.”
A sad smile is plastered on Yuto’s lips as he made Ryosuke face him properly.
“Tell me, Yama-chan. What’s wrong ?”
Ryosuke took a deep breath as he looked away.
“I’m tired of this all, Yuto-kun. Of being basked under the spotlights and be the centre of everyone’s attention all the time.” He started. “I’m tired of people saying that I don’t deserve what I have, that I’m nothing but a pretty face, that I’m only using some dirty tricks to get me to where I am.”
“Yama-chan, you know-“
“It’s not true.” He cutted Yuto off. “Of course you’d think that way Yuto-kun. But from my point of view, I can’t helped but to wonder if what they said is right. I start to think that I really don’t deserve this, that I am nothing but a pretty face ! I can’t agree to the part where they said that I did some dirty tricks though.” Ryosuke laugh cynically at his own words.
“Yama-chan...” Yuto called his name softly.
“Sometimes, I hope I was never in this entertainment world. Sometimes, I just want to forget about everything and live freely without having to think about what anyone thought about me.” He sighed deeply as he slumped down on Yuto’s arms.
The soothing hand on his back somehow calmed Ryosuke down. He felt his eyes getting heavier in each seconds but he forced himself to stay awake.
“Just sleep now, Ryosuke. Sleep and rest your heart out. I can’t protect you from the harshness of reality, but I will guard you from the nightmares as you sleep. Sleep now, my love, and let’s face tomorrow with spirit anew, together.”
The calming voice of Yuto assured Ryosuke as he let sleep took over his body. At least inside a dream, he wants to forget all his worries and pain. He trust Yuto will take care of him anyway.
~~~tbc
Part 5 - Remember
Author :
zeon_avalanthe
Rating : PG-13
Genre : AU ; Angst
Pairing : YutoYama [from now on, I'm going to use this call for this pairing.. >,< ]
Disclaimer : Everyone knows that I don't own any of those boys, sadly..
Summary : Ever since he was a little child, he had always loved the stars.. Ever since he was a little child, he had always wanted to be a star.. But as he grew up, big and famous and at the top -finally a star- he wished that he never wished to be star since the very beginning..
Author's Note : After two long years of waiting, finally an update ! >,<
The song used here is Kanade ~Music Fair Version (Sung by Sukimaswitch, Amamiya Sora and Christ Hart)
Click to viewAo ~Blue~
Part 5 - Remember
Ryosuke simply want to bury his body and disappear at the constant scoldings his Mother sent to him while fussing over him who could only lie on the bed the next day. She told him on how he should listen to her words and on how he just broke his promise. After telling your Mum that you won’t overexert yourself but still coming out with a 38,7 degree Celcius fever the next day, of course she would burst out. Ryosuke knows it was out of worry, and that’s why he was feeling all guilty about it.
“I’m sorry, Mum. I’ve made you worried again.” He mumbled under his breath as he snuggled deeper into his blanket.
A sigh came from his Mother’s lips as she replaced the cold cloth on his forehead yet again.
“Just, just recover okay ?” His Mother said as she caress his head soothingly.
“Umm.” Ryosuke slowly closed his eyes at the comfort of his Mother’s touch.
“Sleep well, love. We love you.” Was the last thing he heard before he drifted back to sleep.
***
“Thank you for taking me here, Yuto-kun.”
The tall boy simply smiled as he brushed a fallen petal from his hair.
“Anything for you, Yama-chan.”
Ryosuke felt the sour feeling withing his heart being washed away completely at the sight of Yuto’s smile. He’s having one of those days he just want to forget, and Yuto always manage to brighten his mood.
“I love you...” He whispered softly, his voice drifted by the wind, but he was sure that Yuto heard him from the small and content smile on his face.
---
“Him again ? Why is it only him who get the special treatment ? It’s not fair to us !”
“Shh ! You shouldn’t talk to loud ! Someone might hear you !”
“But-“
“Look, I know you’re frustated -I am, too ! But as much as I hate it, I have to admit that he deserved the special treatment.”
“Eventhough all he has is just a pretty face.”
“Don’t say that !”
“But it’s the truth !”
“Hey-“
“We’re older and has much more experience than him, we should at least receive the same thing with him !”
“Look, mate, let’s stop this alrady, ‘kay ? It’s not like it’s entirely his fault we’re not debuted yet.”
“Yeah, but he wouldn’t have debuted yet too ! I bet Yamada is seducing the Director to get whatever he wants.”
The two boys continued to bicker without realizing that the subject of their conversation is only behind the wall, trying to silent his sobs and hide himself from the world. They’re not the first one, and certainly won’t be the last to ever badmouthing him on his back. And Ryosuke thought he’s used to it already, but when the words were said with so much hate, he couldn’t help but felt his heart breaking all over again.
---
“Yamada ! Didn’t I tell you to get here before nine ?” The voice of their dance-lecturer is heard from the corner.
“I’m so sorry.” Ryosuke bowed his apology. “I had a long night yesterday and was only home at four this morning. I thought of catching a little sleep before I had to go here, but I overslept.”
A sigh came from the lecturer’s lips as he waved him off.
“Nah, it’s okay. I know you had a rough schedule. Just make sure you don’t repeat it again.” The man told him tiredly as he called for the others’ attention to start preparing for the practice.
Ryosuke sighed as he placed down his bag at the table and took off his jacket. True to be told, he kinda wished the man to get mad at him with full-force, like how he used to be on his early days, because that would show that the man actually care. It’s not like he doesn’t care about him now, it’s just, Ryosuke know his care now is different than his care in the past. Now, the man simply care about him because he is the said ‘golden boy’, always understanding if he missed a step or two, or whenever he’s late for practice.
And as much as Ryosuke thank the man for that, it’s not what Ryosuke really wants.
---
‘What good there is from that talentless boy anyway ? I like JUMP the way it was, before Johnny decided to put that chubby boy up front.’
‘I totally get you. Sometimes I wonder if Johnny really care about JUMP. I mean, he wouldn’t pick that boy as center otherwise, right ?’
‘Yeah. Always the one to get the special treatment. I’m sick of seeing his face being overly exploited on PV and such you know. I want to see the others more.’
‘To be honest, I think it wasn’t fair that only Ryutaro-kun who got suspended from Johnny’s just because he smoke. I mean, surely that fatty had done worse things ! The company was just using their power to conceal them.’
‘Yeah. It’d be better if it’s that boy who left instead of Ryutaro-kun. It’s such a shame, he’s one handsome boy, too.’
‘Totally. Much much better than that shorty.’
---
“Yama-chan ?”
The boy looked up at the call of his name and found Yuto looking at his tears-stricken face worriedly.
“What’s wrong ?”
He tried to force a smile while giving the taller boy a shake of a head.
“It’s nothing, Yuto-kun. I just-“
Memories of those hurtful words and the way people looked at him came back flashing right before his eyes and Ryosuke just cried harder. He tried to say something but ended up choking on his own sobs.
“Oh my...” Yuto called out as he pulled him into his embrace. “Shh.. It’s okay, Yama-chan. Everything’s going to be okay.”
Ryosuke stay like that for a while, feeling safe under the reassuring hands of Yuto, simply relishing the moment. It felt like forever when his tears finally stopped and he feel like he can talk without choking.
“I’m sorry, Yuto-kun.” He said at last while wiping the last of tears from his eyes. “It’s just, things have been so hard lately and I just can’t take it anymore.”
A sad smile is plastered on Yuto’s lips as he made Ryosuke face him properly.
“Tell me, Yama-chan. What’s wrong ?”
Ryosuke took a deep breath as he looked away.
“I’m tired of this all, Yuto-kun. Of being basked under the spotlights and be the centre of everyone’s attention all the time.” He started. “I’m tired of people saying that I don’t deserve what I have, that I’m nothing but a pretty face, that I’m only using some dirty tricks to get me to where I am.”
“Yama-chan, you know-“
“It’s not true.” He cutted Yuto off. “Of course you’d think that way Yuto-kun. But from my point of view, I can’t helped but to wonder if what they said is right. I start to think that I really don’t deserve this, that I am nothing but a pretty face ! I can’t agree to the part where they said that I did some dirty tricks though.” Ryosuke laugh cynically at his own words.
“Yama-chan...” Yuto called his name softly.
“Sometimes, I hope I was never in this entertainment world. Sometimes, I just want to forget about everything and live freely without having to think about what anyone thought about me.” He sighed deeply as he slumped down on Yuto’s arms.
The soothing hand on his back somehow calmed Ryosuke down. He felt his eyes getting heavier in each seconds but he forced himself to stay awake.
“Just sleep now, Ryosuke. Sleep and rest your heart out. I can’t protect you from the harshness of reality, but I will guard you from the nightmares as you sleep. Sleep now, my love, and let’s face tomorrow with spirit anew, together.”
The calming voice of Yuto assured Ryosuke as he let sleep took over his body. At least inside a dream, he wants to forget all his worries and pain. He trust Yuto will take care of him anyway.
~~~tbc