When We're No Longer Here - Chapter 15
Chapter 15 - Once Again, If Only
Author : rei *me*
Rating : g [maybe it will rise later]
Disclaimer : Everyone knows that HSJ belong to JE. .sadly. .T_T
Summary : Imagine what will happen, if your presence are no longer exist. Imagine what will hapen, if you're no longer known by any. Imagine what will happen, if the one you can count on is only, you. [I'm suck even at summaries, I know. .T_T]
Author's note : I'M BAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK !!!!! sorry it takes soooo long.. but please understand my situation.. i can't even watch my luvly little ryo-chan constantly.. heck i even hav to share the lappie since this actually belongs to my friend.. mine is still soo faraway in my hometown and i just cannot bear with my workplace's internet.. and since my brain was in a hiatus mode for soo long, forgive me for making such an awful chapter.. TToTT
When We’re No Longer Here - Chapter 15 - Once Again, If Only
“Really, what were those supposed to mean ?” Ryosuke frown as he recalls his latest dreams which got weirder and weirder.
“Ha ?” Hikaru make a face toward the younger boy and his weird question.
Ryosuke jolt at Hikaru’s sound. He didn’t realize it that he just said that aloud. “I- I mean, the TV show. I didn’t understand the meaning of that at all.” He points out to the screen panickedly.
Hikaru turn his head toward the TV with his weird face still on and found out that it currently playing Music Station. “What do you have to understand from that ? All you have to do is listening to the music. No thinking involved.”
“Eh ? Eto... I was just wondering what the meaning of the lyric of the song. Yeah, that.” Reasoned the younger boy.
Hikaru make another face. Well, they’re playing an English song after all. Everyone knows that Yama-chan is terrible in English. “Make sense. Well, you can always ask Keito for that. I always did that.” And with that he leaves.
Ryosuke sigh in relief. It was so close. One wrong word and his secrets will be revealed. Not that he wanted to keep it as a secret. It’s just the other boys had had a lot in mind already, and he didn’t want to add another one.
If only…
******************************************************************************************************************************************
Keito was never a loud person. And he never thought that he’ll ever need to talk that much in the near future. If people won’t ask, then he won’t answer. But as he remembered that one particular day, he wished that he could speak more of what he was feeling truthfully toward him. But then again, it seems that fate has its way to try to connect the two of them without any proper words being spoken. Or so he thought.
“Keito, can you please take this to Yama-chan’s room ? I have something else to do.” Hikaru ask, a mischievious look on his eyes.
Being an obedient boy he was, Keito just nod without complaining. He knows that Hikaru was just too lazy to do things by his own and he was just the victim Hikaru can sacrifice.
“Oh, well. I just have to get these done and continue with my guitar later.” He muttered to himself.
He then walks upstairs while thinking a lot of bunch, including of one of his bandmate’s current condition. Ryosuke was just fallen ill, again. It was because he was staying up late, is what Daiki had subbed them the prior morning. But strangely, Ryosuke had become stranger than before. But as for why, Keito couldn’t quite understand why. Heck, he didn’t even know why he thought so in the first place.
Keito sigh. He’s now standing right before Ryosuke and Daiki’s room. All he has to do is raise a hand and knock, but somehow, he just felt something holding him up. Heaving a deep breath, Keito start knocking.
“Yama-chan ? It’s me, Keito. I’m coming in, okay ?” He says a bit loudly from outside as he reaches his hand to stir the doorknob. “Yama-chan ?” He calls out into the silent room.
Keito slowly put the tray of food on the bedside drawer as he approaches the figure lying under the thick blanket. He gently shakes the figure but then frowning to found nothing but a pillow put neatly under it.
“Where would Yama-chan be ?” His heart start to beat faster as a tinge of worry disturb him.
Just when he’s about to look for the younger boy, a familiar voice called him.
“Keito ?”
Keito immediately turn his head at the voice. “Yama-chan ! Where have you been ?! Don’t you know that I was worried when you weren’t there ?!” He asks louder than he meant to.
“G-gomen. I-I was just l-leaving for the b-bathroom.” The said boy answered fearfully, shocked at the usual calm boy at a different state.
Keito, realizing what he just did, take a deep breath to try to calm his temper. “Gomen. I was just worried. I didn’t meant to shout at you.”
“T-that’s okay.” Ryosuke shift his body uncomfortably, still feeling slightly unconvinced.
Keito just look at the younger boy in regret. “I really am sorry, Ryosuke. I promise I won’t do that again.”
Ryosuke, seemed to take an understanding just sigh. “I understand. Really. I believe I’ll do the same if I were you. So no need to apologize like that Keito. That was partly my fault. Leaving like that without a notice.” He slowly walks to the bed and sit on it, his fingers beckoning the older boy to sit beside him. “So, what’s the occasion ?” Asked Ryosuke, while eyes now eyeing the tray of food placed on top of his drawer.
“Well, uhm. I was just delivering your food. It was supposed to be Hikaru’s job, but it seemed like that he’d prefer catching up some sleeps, so, yeah, here I am.” Explained Keito. His brows furrowed at the sudden change of expression of the younger boy. “What’s wrong ?”
“I am.” Answered Ryosuke, his voice filled with sorrow. Seeing the confused face of his friend, he continues, “In the end, I was just a burden to everyone. You had to do things you didn’t want to do just because of I was too weak to do it myself. And if I tried to do things by myself, I will only make the others worry.”
“Yama- No, Ryosuke, listen to me. We’re doing this all not because of we were forced to, but because we all care. We know that you’ll do the same to any of us if the situation is reversed, so what was so wrong in trying to do the same ?” Keito try to explain.
Ryosuke smile a sad smile. “I don’t think I’ll do the same to any of you if I was in your position.”
“Why ?” Keito frown confusedly. He never thought of the younger boy as a selfish individual.
“Because I’d rather none of you have to go through what I’ve gone through. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself if ever our condition was reversed.” The younger boy answer serenely.
Keito is at lost at the words Ryosuke just uttered. He feels his vision blurs a bit and he quickly wipes his eyes to prevent the tears that was threatening to fall dropped to the ground.
“Keito ? What’s wrong ?” Ryosuke ask, tilting his head to get a clearer view of the older boy’s face.
“Nothing. Really. Just something got into my eyes.” Keito try to assure him.
“Hontou ?” The boy wonder just frown as he was uncertain of Keito’s answer.
“Un !” Keito beam. “Now, why don’t you start eating your food ? It’s getting cold.” He tries to avert the current conversation.
“Mou~ I’m not that hungry right now.” Ryosuke pout, completely distracted.
“But you need to eat no matter what ! I won’t ever leave the room unless you finished your food !” Keito cross his hands in front of his chest to show his determination.
Ryosuke just pout more but obey nevertheless. He reluctantly pick the plate from the tray. It consists eggplants, and eggplant is his favourite. But somehow, today he’s just not in the mood. Sighing loudly, he starts digging into his food.
After 30 min or so, after much coaxing from the older boy, and much protesting from the younger one, Ryosuke finally finished his food, along with the strawberry dessert and a full glass of milk with strawberry essence mixed in they provided him. Keito then start to gathering the dishes, but not without a small complaint from Ryosuke on how full he was.
“Good for you then. I’ve never seen you finished any of your meals recently, and I’m getting worried of where the Ryosuke I know have went to.” Keito commented jokingly.
“Mou~ Keito, you’re a meanie~” Ryosuke wail as he puffs his cheeks, make himself looked chubbier than before.
Keito just laugh at his friend’s childishness. He was about to reach the doorknob when that voice he start to like is calling his name.
“Keito, you know you can always come to me when you need anyone to hear you out. I will always be there for you, though I’m no longer here.”
A single crystal tear finally fall from the English boy’s eyes. Without turning back, he tries to reply without shaking, “I know. Thanks Ryosuke.” And he just left.
If only he decided to just take a single peek behind him, he would see how those dark brown orbs glistening with an unshed tears.
Once again, if only…
~~~~~tbc
did i mention before that ryo-chan is getting hotter and hotter in each second ??
well, now i did.. XDD
yesh !! comments will always be LOVE !!
OHH !! I MISS U ALL A BUNCH MINNA !!!!!!!
*group hugs*
Author : rei *me*
Rating : g [maybe it will rise later]
Disclaimer : Everyone knows that HSJ belong to JE. .sadly. .T_T
Summary : Imagine what will happen, if your presence are no longer exist. Imagine what will hapen, if you're no longer known by any. Imagine what will happen, if the one you can count on is only, you. [I'm suck even at summaries, I know. .T_T]
Author's note : I'M BAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK !!!!! sorry it takes soooo long.. but please understand my situation.. i can't even watch my luvly little ryo-chan constantly.. heck i even hav to share the lappie since this actually belongs to my friend.. mine is still soo faraway in my hometown and i just cannot bear with my workplace's internet.. and since my brain was in a hiatus mode for soo long, forgive me for making such an awful chapter.. TToTT
When We’re No Longer Here - Chapter 15 - Once Again, If Only
“Really, what were those supposed to mean ?” Ryosuke frown as he recalls his latest dreams which got weirder and weirder.
“Ha ?” Hikaru make a face toward the younger boy and his weird question.
Ryosuke jolt at Hikaru’s sound. He didn’t realize it that he just said that aloud. “I- I mean, the TV show. I didn’t understand the meaning of that at all.” He points out to the screen panickedly.
Hikaru turn his head toward the TV with his weird face still on and found out that it currently playing Music Station. “What do you have to understand from that ? All you have to do is listening to the music. No thinking involved.”
“Eh ? Eto... I was just wondering what the meaning of the lyric of the song. Yeah, that.” Reasoned the younger boy.
Hikaru make another face. Well, they’re playing an English song after all. Everyone knows that Yama-chan is terrible in English. “Make sense. Well, you can always ask Keito for that. I always did that.” And with that he leaves.
Ryosuke sigh in relief. It was so close. One wrong word and his secrets will be revealed. Not that he wanted to keep it as a secret. It’s just the other boys had had a lot in mind already, and he didn’t want to add another one.
If only…
******************************************************************************************************************************************
Keito was never a loud person. And he never thought that he’ll ever need to talk that much in the near future. If people won’t ask, then he won’t answer. But as he remembered that one particular day, he wished that he could speak more of what he was feeling truthfully toward him. But then again, it seems that fate has its way to try to connect the two of them without any proper words being spoken. Or so he thought.
“Keito, can you please take this to Yama-chan’s room ? I have something else to do.” Hikaru ask, a mischievious look on his eyes.
Being an obedient boy he was, Keito just nod without complaining. He knows that Hikaru was just too lazy to do things by his own and he was just the victim Hikaru can sacrifice.
“Oh, well. I just have to get these done and continue with my guitar later.” He muttered to himself.
He then walks upstairs while thinking a lot of bunch, including of one of his bandmate’s current condition. Ryosuke was just fallen ill, again. It was because he was staying up late, is what Daiki had subbed them the prior morning. But strangely, Ryosuke had become stranger than before. But as for why, Keito couldn’t quite understand why. Heck, he didn’t even know why he thought so in the first place.
Keito sigh. He’s now standing right before Ryosuke and Daiki’s room. All he has to do is raise a hand and knock, but somehow, he just felt something holding him up. Heaving a deep breath, Keito start knocking.
“Yama-chan ? It’s me, Keito. I’m coming in, okay ?” He says a bit loudly from outside as he reaches his hand to stir the doorknob. “Yama-chan ?” He calls out into the silent room.
Keito slowly put the tray of food on the bedside drawer as he approaches the figure lying under the thick blanket. He gently shakes the figure but then frowning to found nothing but a pillow put neatly under it.
“Where would Yama-chan be ?” His heart start to beat faster as a tinge of worry disturb him.
Just when he’s about to look for the younger boy, a familiar voice called him.
“Keito ?”
Keito immediately turn his head at the voice. “Yama-chan ! Where have you been ?! Don’t you know that I was worried when you weren’t there ?!” He asks louder than he meant to.
“G-gomen. I-I was just l-leaving for the b-bathroom.” The said boy answered fearfully, shocked at the usual calm boy at a different state.
Keito, realizing what he just did, take a deep breath to try to calm his temper. “Gomen. I was just worried. I didn’t meant to shout at you.”
“T-that’s okay.” Ryosuke shift his body uncomfortably, still feeling slightly unconvinced.
Keito just look at the younger boy in regret. “I really am sorry, Ryosuke. I promise I won’t do that again.”
Ryosuke, seemed to take an understanding just sigh. “I understand. Really. I believe I’ll do the same if I were you. So no need to apologize like that Keito. That was partly my fault. Leaving like that without a notice.” He slowly walks to the bed and sit on it, his fingers beckoning the older boy to sit beside him. “So, what’s the occasion ?” Asked Ryosuke, while eyes now eyeing the tray of food placed on top of his drawer.
“Well, uhm. I was just delivering your food. It was supposed to be Hikaru’s job, but it seemed like that he’d prefer catching up some sleeps, so, yeah, here I am.” Explained Keito. His brows furrowed at the sudden change of expression of the younger boy. “What’s wrong ?”
“I am.” Answered Ryosuke, his voice filled with sorrow. Seeing the confused face of his friend, he continues, “In the end, I was just a burden to everyone. You had to do things you didn’t want to do just because of I was too weak to do it myself. And if I tried to do things by myself, I will only make the others worry.”
“Yama- No, Ryosuke, listen to me. We’re doing this all not because of we were forced to, but because we all care. We know that you’ll do the same to any of us if the situation is reversed, so what was so wrong in trying to do the same ?” Keito try to explain.
Ryosuke smile a sad smile. “I don’t think I’ll do the same to any of you if I was in your position.”
“Why ?” Keito frown confusedly. He never thought of the younger boy as a selfish individual.
“Because I’d rather none of you have to go through what I’ve gone through. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself if ever our condition was reversed.” The younger boy answer serenely.
Keito is at lost at the words Ryosuke just uttered. He feels his vision blurs a bit and he quickly wipes his eyes to prevent the tears that was threatening to fall dropped to the ground.
“Keito ? What’s wrong ?” Ryosuke ask, tilting his head to get a clearer view of the older boy’s face.
“Nothing. Really. Just something got into my eyes.” Keito try to assure him.
“Hontou ?” The boy wonder just frown as he was uncertain of Keito’s answer.
“Un !” Keito beam. “Now, why don’t you start eating your food ? It’s getting cold.” He tries to avert the current conversation.
“Mou~ I’m not that hungry right now.” Ryosuke pout, completely distracted.
“But you need to eat no matter what ! I won’t ever leave the room unless you finished your food !” Keito cross his hands in front of his chest to show his determination.
Ryosuke just pout more but obey nevertheless. He reluctantly pick the plate from the tray. It consists eggplants, and eggplant is his favourite. But somehow, today he’s just not in the mood. Sighing loudly, he starts digging into his food.
After 30 min or so, after much coaxing from the older boy, and much protesting from the younger one, Ryosuke finally finished his food, along with the strawberry dessert and a full glass of milk with strawberry essence mixed in they provided him. Keito then start to gathering the dishes, but not without a small complaint from Ryosuke on how full he was.
“Good for you then. I’ve never seen you finished any of your meals recently, and I’m getting worried of where the Ryosuke I know have went to.” Keito commented jokingly.
“Mou~ Keito, you’re a meanie~” Ryosuke wail as he puffs his cheeks, make himself looked chubbier than before.
Keito just laugh at his friend’s childishness. He was about to reach the doorknob when that voice he start to like is calling his name.
“Keito, you know you can always come to me when you need anyone to hear you out. I will always be there for you, though I’m no longer here.”
A single crystal tear finally fall from the English boy’s eyes. Without turning back, he tries to reply without shaking, “I know. Thanks Ryosuke.” And he just left.
If only he decided to just take a single peek behind him, he would see how those dark brown orbs glistening with an unshed tears.
Once again, if only…
~~~~~tbc
did i mention before that ryo-chan is getting hotter and hotter in each second ??
well, now i did.. XDD
yesh !! comments will always be LOVE !!
OHH !! I MISS U ALL A BUNCH MINNA !!!!!!!
*group hugs*