(no subject)
Ok, so its been long time since I've wrote in this thing. I thought I'd take the time to since I can't sleep because I miss someone. I used to find it pointless because why would anyone give a fuck about what's happening in my life but here it goes.
A week ago I was rushed to the hospital because I was having real trouble breathing. About a month ago I slowly started losing weight/muscle. I was 185lbs then I dropped to 150, now I'm back up to 160. woohoo. o_O Turns out I was diagnosed with Juvinile Diabetes. I was all fucked up. They had me hooked up to IVs, a catheder...shit. That's twice this year I've almost died.
Before all this shit I was in a car accident with my friend, Grant. A small black Kia hit his Dodge Ram 1500 on my passenger side, flipping the truck. If it weren't for the seatbealt they would've had to mop me off the pavement. Nice huh.
However, I'm not going to let the diabetes stop me from becomming a fire fighter....
I'm depressed again...
I feel like a fuck up...all I do is fucking cry myself to sleep every night, then I have nightmares. Bloody, dark. Where do these come from? I've had thoughts of suicide again, maybe I need a thereapist. I feel so sad..so alone..serves me right. I'm also becomming very anti-social. I don't go out with friends much anymore. Theres only one person I really want to be with, that I trust....
That I love...
ah...doesn't matter. I'll stfu now.
Peace.
A week ago I was rushed to the hospital because I was having real trouble breathing. About a month ago I slowly started losing weight/muscle. I was 185lbs then I dropped to 150, now I'm back up to 160. woohoo. o_O Turns out I was diagnosed with Juvinile Diabetes. I was all fucked up. They had me hooked up to IVs, a catheder...shit. That's twice this year I've almost died.
Before all this shit I was in a car accident with my friend, Grant. A small black Kia hit his Dodge Ram 1500 on my passenger side, flipping the truck. If it weren't for the seatbealt they would've had to mop me off the pavement. Nice huh.
However, I'm not going to let the diabetes stop me from becomming a fire fighter....
I'm depressed again...
I feel like a fuck up...all I do is fucking cry myself to sleep every night, then I have nightmares. Bloody, dark. Where do these come from? I've had thoughts of suicide again, maybe I need a thereapist. I feel so sad..so alone..serves me right. I'm also becomming very anti-social. I don't go out with friends much anymore. Theres only one person I really want to be with, that I trust....
That I love...
ah...doesn't matter. I'll stfu now.
Peace.