(no subject)
i didn't get nearly enough sleep last night.....3 hours max. BLECH! But I had a fucking awesome evening and wish sleep hadn't mattered and I could have stayed up longer. I did go to bed though quite amused and satisfied from an evening of good times. I'm not extremely tired because I had a shitload of coffee this morning, but I am extremely sick of this rattle in my chest and the neverending cough. Once it gets going, it's hard to stop the feeling that I can't breathe/can't stop coughing. it's yucky really.
my hormones have returned to me with flying colors and i'm lusty and smitten all over again. It's really bad when I get all bothered at the drop of a pin, but I can't really help myself. There is something about feeling this way though that wipes the funk right out of me, it makes me feel alive again.
Practices are going well and I have been busting ass to improve. Sunday brought with it an attack from the depths of my chest that damn near killed me. couldn't breathe, couldn't stop....it was sorta scary. Tonite, I will have to be more careful, I'm on antibiotics and a stern warning not to tear my lungs and throat up. I can't go killing myself over derby, but I also WON'T sit out. If I have to take breaks or whatever, then I will, but dammit.....i'm skating, I'm not about to bench myself. We are doing some hardcore drills in practice now and I sweat and groan and get painful spots at each one, but I always leave feeling like I have accomplished a shitload!!! My neck and shoulders kill me everyday, but I keep telling myself that one day.....I won't feel so embarressed by my body. Pretty interesting that derby is the key right now to my self esteem.
today is sunny and hatefully cold. fuck!
my brain can't think straight and I really need it to so I can get my shit done before practice.
maybe a nap is in order.....
my hormones have returned to me with flying colors and i'm lusty and smitten all over again. It's really bad when I get all bothered at the drop of a pin, but I can't really help myself. There is something about feeling this way though that wipes the funk right out of me, it makes me feel alive again.
Practices are going well and I have been busting ass to improve. Sunday brought with it an attack from the depths of my chest that damn near killed me. couldn't breathe, couldn't stop....it was sorta scary. Tonite, I will have to be more careful, I'm on antibiotics and a stern warning not to tear my lungs and throat up. I can't go killing myself over derby, but I also WON'T sit out. If I have to take breaks or whatever, then I will, but dammit.....i'm skating, I'm not about to bench myself. We are doing some hardcore drills in practice now and I sweat and groan and get painful spots at each one, but I always leave feeling like I have accomplished a shitload!!! My neck and shoulders kill me everyday, but I keep telling myself that one day.....I won't feel so embarressed by my body. Pretty interesting that derby is the key right now to my self esteem.
today is sunny and hatefully cold. fuck!
my brain can't think straight and I really need it to so I can get my shit done before practice.
maybe a nap is in order.....