(no subject)
I went to the knitting circle after dialysis today. We went to Rutabegorz in Orange first and I had the Mexican casserole. Pretty yummy. I got to hear about Sara's wedding and Mel and I got to catch up. We missed each other on Monday because she has to be the boss at work temporarily.
We met a lovely woman (who was my age) at knitting. She's what I always wanted to be, a psychologist. She's also a liberal witchy type and it was nice to run into a kindred spirit. She showed me how to do a couple of things I read about in my knitting book but couldn't make my hands actually DO. I DID it! Then I practiced it. Then I started on the scarf a fellow dialysis patient paid me to make. It should knit up pretty quickly.
So how fucking boring has my life become. I go to dialysis and knit. When was the last time I went out dancing or had a date? When was the last time I did readings or taught a class? Where the fuck did Reverend Grace go? Every once in a while I drop in on the astrology community on LJ and leave a comment and it's amazing how good I can be at that. I should be practicing my arts. I should be teaching. I should be sharing all the knowledge I've been privileged to receive. Should is not a good word. Should produces guilt. Guilt stifles the soul. I just wish I could get back into the swing of things. Even doing crafts would make me feel like I was producing something. There's just no way I can commit to working. I'm too freaking weak.
So it's not depressing me. I'm just a little irked and I wanted to get it off my chest.
Good thing I have Mary to love. We're getting along fabulously. Mel and I went to Food for Less for groceries after knitting and she came in and met Mary. Mary was very receptive. It was good to see how she responds to strangers. She was great. I warned Mel that she doesn't like to be rough housed as she takes it as an invitation to play fight which can turn into real fighting all too easily. I also saw the gash that Mel's last cat left on her hand. Roo really ripped her hand open! But it's nice to have a kitty. :)
We met a lovely woman (who was my age) at knitting. She's what I always wanted to be, a psychologist. She's also a liberal witchy type and it was nice to run into a kindred spirit. She showed me how to do a couple of things I read about in my knitting book but couldn't make my hands actually DO. I DID it! Then I practiced it. Then I started on the scarf a fellow dialysis patient paid me to make. It should knit up pretty quickly.
So how fucking boring has my life become. I go to dialysis and knit. When was the last time I went out dancing or had a date? When was the last time I did readings or taught a class? Where the fuck did Reverend Grace go? Every once in a while I drop in on the astrology community on LJ and leave a comment and it's amazing how good I can be at that. I should be practicing my arts. I should be teaching. I should be sharing all the knowledge I've been privileged to receive. Should is not a good word. Should produces guilt. Guilt stifles the soul. I just wish I could get back into the swing of things. Even doing crafts would make me feel like I was producing something. There's just no way I can commit to working. I'm too freaking weak.
So it's not depressing me. I'm just a little irked and I wanted to get it off my chest.
Good thing I have Mary to love. We're getting along fabulously. Mel and I went to Food for Less for groceries after knitting and she came in and met Mary. Mary was very receptive. It was good to see how she responds to strangers. She was great. I warned Mel that she doesn't like to be rough housed as she takes it as an invitation to play fight which can turn into real fighting all too easily. I also saw the gash that Mel's last cat left on her hand. Roo really ripped her hand open! But it's nice to have a kitty. :)