An Update
I haven't been updating my journal. I hate making negative posts but they help. I had to wait until I wasn't feeling so bad. I can walk and see today and that makes me feel better. I've been having some really weird trains of thought.
Good Stuff
Knitting
Well, a week and a half ago mforbes321 and I went to that knitting gathering and she couldn't find her book, The Learn to Knit Afgan Book in her knitting bag. After searching her house she decided to order herself a new copy from Amazon because she's making the afgan and is using the book to learn new patterns and knitting tricks. It's a great book and a great idea. Then she found her book. LUCKY ME because since she had a new one heading her way, she kicked me down the copy she found! I cracked that puppy open and lo and behold, I don't know how to knit. Okay, I kinda do, but I do it wrong. The first thing is the cast on. I couldn't remember how to do it. mforbes321 had shown me when I learned the first time, but I just knit this big old rectangle after that and practiced the knitting part and totally forgot the casting on part. So to start new projects I had basically been putting little loops on the needle and starting in on those. The pictures in the book were clear enough to show me how to do it, but I had to read it over and over and stare at the pictures and keep trying until I finally figured out what I was supposed to do to get a pretty edge. GOT IT! Now for the knitting and purling. The uthor says the way she does it is more effiecient and easy but I do it the other way. I thinl one way is called English and the other is Continental. I tried to change my way but CRAP it's so hard! I may just stick to my way.
So, the idea of the book is to make 64 different squares, each of which is a different pattern or technique. One square is straight knitting, then stockinette stitch, then two color knitting... and so on. You learn something new with each square and by the end of the afgan you have completed something like an intermediate knitting class. mforbes321 can already do many more tricks than me. The girl is doing socks! That's way beyond me at the moment. Then you sew all the squares together and you have an afgan. I have a couple of skeins of good yarn and a box of crap yarn, but I need to get a whole lot more of the good yarn to make the afgan because it all has to be the same weight and fiber and it needs to be color coordinated. I love the purple yarn I have, so that's in, but I don't like the way the colors go together in the book. They say to use a medium, dark, and light color combination. I want my afgan to be a little more subtle. For instance, they say to do the striped square in dark and light and I suppose that's to show off the technique, but I want to do it in two contrasting medium colors. I think my deep purple will go well with a deep blue and a deep emerald green. Then I'll throw in some lavendar and try to figure out one more medium or light color to go with all that.
I'd LOVE to go back to the knitting circle and get some hands on lessons. Reading instructions and looking at pictures isn't the same as having someone hold your hand and show you what to do. Anybody but that one guy. He can't be my mentor. His penis is in the way. It must be huge or something. The group is friendly and I'm sure someone there would hold my hand as I figure things out. mforbes321 could even do it.
More Mel
Mel visited me at dialysis and we were expecting the fabulous Aubrey to come too but something came up or something. I'm nervous that I'll trip over my pronouns when she's there because she's a MtF transgendered friend who's still at the beginning of her transformation. She's been he for so long I'll have to make a conscious effort to use the feminine words but I want my dialysis unit to be a place where she's alway been and will always be a she.
Not Knitting
I'm dying to go out to eat. I need some yumminess. Not take out (although I'm grateful these days when I get that!) but real restaurant food. Or something like Souplantation where I get a wide variety of flavors. Cooking for yourself as a single gets boring. I bought some Old Bay seasoning and I'm going to go fry up some fish with that, but making a three or four course meal for yourself is a huge pita (Pain In The Ass). I'm going with a salad and maybe a little pasta or some beans. Then I have 2/3 o a can of beans to eat later. You get bored with leftovers when you have to eat them all the time. There's always leftovers when you cook for one. Yeah, I need restaraunt food. Maybe if I can walk well enough tomorrow I'll wald to Demicelli's for some of that DIVINE fettucine alfredo. Damn, those guys can dook italian food. It tastes Italian, not Italian-Americal and they serve great bread with it.
The Other Mel
No kitty for Grace yet. kitschin_witch has been too sick to come over. I'm thinking about cutting a hole in my fucked up dining room door for an animal door or getting one of those inserts that goes in a sliding glass door so kitty has an easy in and out and everyone else stays out. Strange animals don't often help themselves to animal doors that don't belong to them. Kitties don't usually care for them, but it's worth a try. She'll have to be an indoor kitty until she gets comfy here and knows this is her new home. She had to move once before when
amandadearest gave her to
kitschin_witch.
Weird Thoughts
When I get on the list for a transplant it will be time to start waiting for my donor to die. I'm going to have a connection with this person. Duh! Being as psychic as I am, this could be intense. I've avoided being a medium for a while now being content to connect with living folks rather than the dearly departed. This whole thing opens up a new 'scape for me. I've been thinking about it alot. I wanted to post about it but I am not ready to, yet. I need to be able to take in the good things the donor has to offer without being overly affected by any negativity. If thoughts become things and one is responsible for every little thing that happens to oneself then dying is something you cause. If my donor caused death once, it's possible that there's some death dealing thought to deal with. Well. I'm pretty fucking strong and very fucking stubborn. Whatever comes up will be dealt with and I trust my friends will support me. I just have to be aware of the potential difficulties. Not so I can indulge in fears aobut them, but so I can plan strategies. Weird thoughts have provided me with some amazing understandings over the years.
I wish I could go get plowed or something. That would be interesting.
Good Stuff
Knitting
Well, a week and a half ago mforbes321 and I went to that knitting gathering and she couldn't find her book, The Learn to Knit Afgan Book in her knitting bag. After searching her house she decided to order herself a new copy from Amazon because she's making the afgan and is using the book to learn new patterns and knitting tricks. It's a great book and a great idea. Then she found her book. LUCKY ME because since she had a new one heading her way, she kicked me down the copy she found! I cracked that puppy open and lo and behold, I don't know how to knit. Okay, I kinda do, but I do it wrong. The first thing is the cast on. I couldn't remember how to do it. mforbes321 had shown me when I learned the first time, but I just knit this big old rectangle after that and practiced the knitting part and totally forgot the casting on part. So to start new projects I had basically been putting little loops on the needle and starting in on those. The pictures in the book were clear enough to show me how to do it, but I had to read it over and over and stare at the pictures and keep trying until I finally figured out what I was supposed to do to get a pretty edge. GOT IT! Now for the knitting and purling. The uthor says the way she does it is more effiecient and easy but I do it the other way. I thinl one way is called English and the other is Continental. I tried to change my way but CRAP it's so hard! I may just stick to my way.
So, the idea of the book is to make 64 different squares, each of which is a different pattern or technique. One square is straight knitting, then stockinette stitch, then two color knitting... and so on. You learn something new with each square and by the end of the afgan you have completed something like an intermediate knitting class. mforbes321 can already do many more tricks than me. The girl is doing socks! That's way beyond me at the moment. Then you sew all the squares together and you have an afgan. I have a couple of skeins of good yarn and a box of crap yarn, but I need to get a whole lot more of the good yarn to make the afgan because it all has to be the same weight and fiber and it needs to be color coordinated. I love the purple yarn I have, so that's in, but I don't like the way the colors go together in the book. They say to use a medium, dark, and light color combination. I want my afgan to be a little more subtle. For instance, they say to do the striped square in dark and light and I suppose that's to show off the technique, but I want to do it in two contrasting medium colors. I think my deep purple will go well with a deep blue and a deep emerald green. Then I'll throw in some lavendar and try to figure out one more medium or light color to go with all that.
I'd LOVE to go back to the knitting circle and get some hands on lessons. Reading instructions and looking at pictures isn't the same as having someone hold your hand and show you what to do. Anybody but that one guy. He can't be my mentor. His penis is in the way. It must be huge or something. The group is friendly and I'm sure someone there would hold my hand as I figure things out. mforbes321 could even do it.
More Mel
Mel visited me at dialysis and we were expecting the fabulous Aubrey to come too but something came up or something. I'm nervous that I'll trip over my pronouns when she's there because she's a MtF transgendered friend who's still at the beginning of her transformation. She's been he for so long I'll have to make a conscious effort to use the feminine words but I want my dialysis unit to be a place where she's alway been and will always be a she.
Not Knitting
I'm dying to go out to eat. I need some yumminess. Not take out (although I'm grateful these days when I get that!) but real restaurant food. Or something like Souplantation where I get a wide variety of flavors. Cooking for yourself as a single gets boring. I bought some Old Bay seasoning and I'm going to go fry up some fish with that, but making a three or four course meal for yourself is a huge pita (Pain In The Ass). I'm going with a salad and maybe a little pasta or some beans. Then I have 2/3 o a can of beans to eat later. You get bored with leftovers when you have to eat them all the time. There's always leftovers when you cook for one. Yeah, I need restaraunt food. Maybe if I can walk well enough tomorrow I'll wald to Demicelli's for some of that DIVINE fettucine alfredo. Damn, those guys can dook italian food. It tastes Italian, not Italian-Americal and they serve great bread with it.
The Other Mel
No kitty for Grace yet. kitschin_witch has been too sick to come over. I'm thinking about cutting a hole in my fucked up dining room door for an animal door or getting one of those inserts that goes in a sliding glass door so kitty has an easy in and out and everyone else stays out. Strange animals don't often help themselves to animal doors that don't belong to them. Kitties don't usually care for them, but it's worth a try. She'll have to be an indoor kitty until she gets comfy here and knows this is her new home. She had to move once before when
amandadearest gave her to
kitschin_witch.
Weird Thoughts
When I get on the list for a transplant it will be time to start waiting for my donor to die. I'm going to have a connection with this person. Duh! Being as psychic as I am, this could be intense. I've avoided being a medium for a while now being content to connect with living folks rather than the dearly departed. This whole thing opens up a new 'scape for me. I've been thinking about it alot. I wanted to post about it but I am not ready to, yet. I need to be able to take in the good things the donor has to offer without being overly affected by any negativity. If thoughts become things and one is responsible for every little thing that happens to oneself then dying is something you cause. If my donor caused death once, it's possible that there's some death dealing thought to deal with. Well. I'm pretty fucking strong and very fucking stubborn. Whatever comes up will be dealt with and I trust my friends will support me. I just have to be aware of the potential difficulties. Not so I can indulge in fears aobut them, but so I can plan strategies. Weird thoughts have provided me with some amazing understandings over the years.
I wish I could go get plowed or something. That would be interesting.