how does one muster the courage to reply to something that beautiful if they have an ounce of pride? one cannot. and so, for a brief time, pride will be suspended.
it is funny how moments can attach so much importance for one person and nothing for another. it is a miracle when two person share the same moment and attach the same importance to it. i remember new years much the same way as you. overwhelmingly there was joy. the joy of being alive, of walking, of having you by my side. for that moment i was invincible. adventures, quests of grandeur always take two (have you noticed?) perhaps this is not love. perhaps it is a case of an under digested vegetable as marley's ghost was for scrooge. in that case, you were my carrot. :)
"they are literally, panic situations: situations without remainder, without return: I have projected myself into the other with such power that when I am without the other I cannot recover myself: I am lost, forever." Barthes
this is the way i feel about our friendship. i remember the exquisite pain, exquisite in its sharpness but also deadly, when becca tore herself from the pedestal she had unfairly been placed on.(it was so deadly we have never recovered as friends) i NEVER wanted to see that pain in your eyes. i never wanted to be torn down. it seems pride ever prevails, even beyond reason. and i knew, i knew after i was torn down, you would see the flaws, the crudeness of my features, and you would search and find your angel. i wanted you to find your angel, your dulcina, and for love of everything we were, now are, i refused to stand in your way. it sounds trite and when most people say it, they may not mean it, but i have never loved the way i love my friends. do you think because we are not physically intimate that you are not my beloved? i would scale mountains and fight windmills for you before any lover, even becca at the peak of the time i adored her. perhaps it is not enough, but i would like to think that while that gentle soul is dreaming of a beautiful princess in a far off land, that princess is sitting beside her, dressed as her servant....holding the darkness aloft in her hands while bringing the stars closer so that your soul's whole world is aglow. so yes, let us leave the two girls, if you wish, yours may stay out on the porch dreaming of a princess, but mine will be walking down your neighborhood's street hoping that yours will come link arms, drink cheap champagne, and be invincible.
i am sorry this is jumbled. i will never be as eloquent but you are bright enough to get the important parts. :)
if they have an ounce of pride? one cannot. and so, for a brief time,
pride will be suspended.
it is funny how moments can attach so much importance for one person
and nothing for another. it is a miracle when two person share the
same moment and attach the same importance to it. i remember new years
much the same way as you. overwhelmingly there was joy. the joy of
being alive, of walking, of having you by my side. for that moment i was invincible. adventures, quests of grandeur always take two (have you noticed?)
perhaps this is not love. perhaps it is a case of an under digested vegetable as marley's ghost was for scrooge. in that case, you were my carrot. :)
"they are literally, panic situations: situations without remainder, without return: I have projected myself into the other with such power that when I am without the other I cannot recover myself: I am lost, forever." Barthes
this is the way i feel about our friendship. i remember the exquisite pain, exquisite in its sharpness but also deadly, when becca tore herself from the pedestal she had unfairly been placed on.(it was so deadly we have never recovered as friends) i NEVER wanted to see that pain in your eyes. i never wanted to be torn down. it seems pride ever prevails, even beyond reason. and i knew, i knew after i was torn down, you would see the flaws, the crudeness of my features, and you would search and find your angel. i wanted you to find your angel, your dulcina, and for love of everything we were, now are, i refused to stand in your way.
it sounds trite and when most people say it, they may not mean it, but i have never loved the way i love my friends. do you think because we are not physically intimate that you are not my beloved? i would scale mountains and fight windmills for you before any lover, even becca at the peak of the time i adored her. perhaps it is not enough, but i would like to think that while that gentle soul is dreaming of a beautiful princess in a far off land, that princess is sitting beside her, dressed as her servant....holding the darkness aloft in her hands while bringing the stars closer so that your soul's whole world is aglow.
so yes, let us leave the two girls, if you wish, yours may stay out on the porch dreaming of a princess, but mine will be walking down your neighborhood's street hoping that yours will come link arms, drink cheap champagne, and be invincible.
i am sorry this is jumbled. i will never be as eloquent but you are bright enough to get the important parts. :)
Reply
Leave a comment