And the glory
Todays entry is about something I've long had a keen interest in. If you've happened to read the manga Futari Etchi (and why would you, it's terrible filth), you may have come across the concept of meiki (名器, out of possible translations, I deem 'an exquisite instrument' the best in this context). Were normal people to think of a situation in which to apply the term, most would probably mention a famous Stradivari or something to that effect. However, if one does a google image search on it, it yields pictures of artificial vaginas.
In modern Japan, the term meiki refers to vaginas that are extraordinarily pleasurable. One writer identifies a meiki vagina as one that induces quick ejaculation with it's particularly strong stimulation on the shaft and head of the penis. Rather than buying into the idea that a certain percentage out of the female population is in possession of an extraordinary vagina, like many Japanese seem to do, I would like to postulate that the system simply stems from mans impulse to categorize things. Europeans used to categorize breasts, the Japanese apparently opted to categorizing vaginas. Not having sampled very many vaginas, I'm not a vagina expert by any means, but I think it's highly probable that the vaginas of all women fall under some definition of meiki unless they've indulged in sexual congress with donkeys or fire hydrants.
There are six basic types of meiki:
カズノコ天井 (kazunoko tenjou), 'herring roe roof', referring to the rough, nubbly texture on the front of the vaginal wall.
きんちゃく (kinchaku), or 'drawstring pouch'. This type of vagina is not very tight at the vaginal entrance, but there's a tight spot perhaps a couple of centimeters in, and then the vaginal canal opens up wider again.
たこつぼ (takotsubo), 'octopus trap'. The ancient Greeks used to catch octopus in amphoras, and the Japanese in pots. The shape is only slightly tight at the vaginal opening, I suppose, and the inside of the vaginal canal is wide.
俵締め (tawarajime), 'tied up bale of hay', draws its name out of a cylindrical hay bale tied up with rope. I suppose the vaginal canal has several slightly tighter spots at relatively even intervals.
三段締め (sandanjime), 'triple tie', is basically a vagina with three tight spots along the vaginal canal.
ミミズ千匹 (mimizusenpiki), 'thousand worms'. The texture of the vaginal canal has a lot of folds, I suppose summoning up an image of earthworms slithering all over the penis.
These types are not necessarily distinct, but the same vagina may have charasteristics of different types of meiki, which makes sense since some refer to the overall shape of the vaginal canal and others to the texture of the vaginal walls.
The existence of a category like たこつぼ suggests to me that this was not originally a system of classifying especially pleasurable vaginas, but simply of classifying vaginas. This opinion is bolstered by the fact that there's also a ten-step system of ranking meiki according to how they feel. These ranks are from highest to lowest the following.
高, (taka), 'high'. The intensity of the sexual pleasure is pre-eminent.
満, (man), 'satisfying'. Offers a full climax.
蛤, (hamaguri), 'clam'. The vaginal entrance is tight like a closed clamshell.
蛸, (tako), 'octopus'. Has the suction of an octopuses suckers.
雷, (kaminari), 'thunder'. There's resistance inside the vaginal canal.
揉み洗い, (momiarai), 'handwashing'. The inside of the vagina moves like kneading laundry.
巾着, (kinchaku), 'drawstring pouch'. The existence of this rank is problematic, since the shape of a pouch is supposed to be a good thing in a vagina. But I guess there are some disadvantages to how a moist fleshpouch would feel wrapped around ones penis...
広, (hiro), 'wide'. The vagina is loose.
下り, (kudari), 'low'. Probably self-explanatory.
臭い, (kusai), 'smelly'. Rather than describing the odor of the vagina, I think it's to say that this is the worst kind of vagina to stick ones penis in.
It's somewhat telling how only four out of the six are positive. I think it's also quite interesting how the top two as well as the bottom two are so nondescriptive. The others at least evoke a mental image.
Then, who are in possession of these vaginas? The only way to be sure is to sample the vagina oneself, but there are some clues as to which women have superior vaginas (if one insists on thinking there's something rare and special about them). By observing the following seven simple clues, it's possible to find one of these vaginas.
1. The movements of a womans vagina are the same as those of her lips. A woman whose lips move a lot when she speaks undoubtedly has a meiki vagina.
2. If her tongue moves aggressively and the suction of her lips is vigorous when kissed, she has a meiki vagina.
3. Women who walk with their toes turned inwards excercise their inner thighs and pubococcygeus muscles, so they have meiki vaginas. Is this true? If yes, look for a woman who treads with the weight on her big toes.
4. In China it's said that women with a relatively long distance between their noses and mouths have meiki vaginas.
5. Among women with protruding lower lips and jaws there are many who have meiki vaginas.
6. Women who favor sidelong glances have meiki vaginas.
7. Women whose eyes, nostrils and the holes of the ears are small have meiki vaginas.
But of course you won't know if it's loose and smelly until actually taking the plunge...
Incidentally, I can't for the life of me remember ever coming across a system of categorizing penises or testicles (though I find testicles to be sorely lacking as a secondary sexual characteristic, so who'd even want to categorize them). Perhaps my education is simply inadequate. But more likely (seriously, why do I even put out the inadequacy of my education as a possible explanation?) it's because all through history men have generally been in a position of being able to sample numerous breasts and vaginas, whereas when women finally had some standing in modern Western science, they were perhaps lucky to experience just one penis in their lives. And now that I mull over the fact that rather than trying to find Victorian penis catalogues, one should turn to antiquity and the times when some women had influence and something of a social standing, it occurs to me that emperor Elagabalus was said to have catalogued penises. But I seem to remember he wasn't that interested in representing the full spectrum of penile shapes and sizes, but was preoccupied with the bigger specimens. I wonder if the fruits of this surely painstaking research are available anywhere, or if they perished when they placed damnatio memoriae on him.
Also incidentally, I do remember reading once that the majority of Japanese penises are slightly curved to the right...
Any ideas as to how to tag entries like this one? There's a number of entries like this, and I've never quite figured out how to tag them.
In modern Japan, the term meiki refers to vaginas that are extraordinarily pleasurable. One writer identifies a meiki vagina as one that induces quick ejaculation with it's particularly strong stimulation on the shaft and head of the penis. Rather than buying into the idea that a certain percentage out of the female population is in possession of an extraordinary vagina, like many Japanese seem to do, I would like to postulate that the system simply stems from mans impulse to categorize things. Europeans used to categorize breasts, the Japanese apparently opted to categorizing vaginas. Not having sampled very many vaginas, I'm not a vagina expert by any means, but I think it's highly probable that the vaginas of all women fall under some definition of meiki unless they've indulged in sexual congress with donkeys or fire hydrants.
There are six basic types of meiki:
カズノコ天井 (kazunoko tenjou), 'herring roe roof', referring to the rough, nubbly texture on the front of the vaginal wall.
きんちゃく (kinchaku), or 'drawstring pouch'. This type of vagina is not very tight at the vaginal entrance, but there's a tight spot perhaps a couple of centimeters in, and then the vaginal canal opens up wider again.
たこつぼ (takotsubo), 'octopus trap'. The ancient Greeks used to catch octopus in amphoras, and the Japanese in pots. The shape is only slightly tight at the vaginal opening, I suppose, and the inside of the vaginal canal is wide.
俵締め (tawarajime), 'tied up bale of hay', draws its name out of a cylindrical hay bale tied up with rope. I suppose the vaginal canal has several slightly tighter spots at relatively even intervals.
三段締め (sandanjime), 'triple tie', is basically a vagina with three tight spots along the vaginal canal.
ミミズ千匹 (mimizusenpiki), 'thousand worms'. The texture of the vaginal canal has a lot of folds, I suppose summoning up an image of earthworms slithering all over the penis.
These types are not necessarily distinct, but the same vagina may have charasteristics of different types of meiki, which makes sense since some refer to the overall shape of the vaginal canal and others to the texture of the vaginal walls.
The existence of a category like たこつぼ suggests to me that this was not originally a system of classifying especially pleasurable vaginas, but simply of classifying vaginas. This opinion is bolstered by the fact that there's also a ten-step system of ranking meiki according to how they feel. These ranks are from highest to lowest the following.
高, (taka), 'high'. The intensity of the sexual pleasure is pre-eminent.
満, (man), 'satisfying'. Offers a full climax.
蛤, (hamaguri), 'clam'. The vaginal entrance is tight like a closed clamshell.
蛸, (tako), 'octopus'. Has the suction of an octopuses suckers.
雷, (kaminari), 'thunder'. There's resistance inside the vaginal canal.
揉み洗い, (momiarai), 'handwashing'. The inside of the vagina moves like kneading laundry.
巾着, (kinchaku), 'drawstring pouch'. The existence of this rank is problematic, since the shape of a pouch is supposed to be a good thing in a vagina. But I guess there are some disadvantages to how a moist fleshpouch would feel wrapped around ones penis...
広, (hiro), 'wide'. The vagina is loose.
下り, (kudari), 'low'. Probably self-explanatory.
臭い, (kusai), 'smelly'. Rather than describing the odor of the vagina, I think it's to say that this is the worst kind of vagina to stick ones penis in.
It's somewhat telling how only four out of the six are positive. I think it's also quite interesting how the top two as well as the bottom two are so nondescriptive. The others at least evoke a mental image.
Then, who are in possession of these vaginas? The only way to be sure is to sample the vagina oneself, but there are some clues as to which women have superior vaginas (if one insists on thinking there's something rare and special about them). By observing the following seven simple clues, it's possible to find one of these vaginas.
1. The movements of a womans vagina are the same as those of her lips. A woman whose lips move a lot when she speaks undoubtedly has a meiki vagina.
2. If her tongue moves aggressively and the suction of her lips is vigorous when kissed, she has a meiki vagina.
3. Women who walk with their toes turned inwards excercise their inner thighs and pubococcygeus muscles, so they have meiki vaginas. Is this true? If yes, look for a woman who treads with the weight on her big toes.
4. In China it's said that women with a relatively long distance between their noses and mouths have meiki vaginas.
5. Among women with protruding lower lips and jaws there are many who have meiki vaginas.
6. Women who favor sidelong glances have meiki vaginas.
7. Women whose eyes, nostrils and the holes of the ears are small have meiki vaginas.
But of course you won't know if it's loose and smelly until actually taking the plunge...
Incidentally, I can't for the life of me remember ever coming across a system of categorizing penises or testicles (though I find testicles to be sorely lacking as a secondary sexual characteristic, so who'd even want to categorize them). Perhaps my education is simply inadequate. But more likely (seriously, why do I even put out the inadequacy of my education as a possible explanation?) it's because all through history men have generally been in a position of being able to sample numerous breasts and vaginas, whereas when women finally had some standing in modern Western science, they were perhaps lucky to experience just one penis in their lives. And now that I mull over the fact that rather than trying to find Victorian penis catalogues, one should turn to antiquity and the times when some women had influence and something of a social standing, it occurs to me that emperor Elagabalus was said to have catalogued penises. But I seem to remember he wasn't that interested in representing the full spectrum of penile shapes and sizes, but was preoccupied with the bigger specimens. I wonder if the fruits of this surely painstaking research are available anywhere, or if they perished when they placed damnatio memoriae on him.
Also incidentally, I do remember reading once that the majority of Japanese penises are slightly curved to the right...
Any ideas as to how to tag entries like this one? There's a number of entries like this, and I've never quite figured out how to tag them.