Existential Blues
I don't sleep enough... nothing new
I don't know what is wrong with me but I feel it
It had faded for some time but I feel that darkness
creeping around in the recesses of my mind...
It was gone, I was sure it was... but certainty seems
to be a fleeting sensation.
Just further proof that it isn't safe for me to have time to
think.
Thought is my worst enemy and yet my most prized quality.
I have always loathed those devoid of the discomfort of thought
since they still get to enjoy opinions, but they must be
happier than me.
Not that I am necessarily unhappy... definitely not all the time
And its no longer most of the time...
But is some of the time okay?
Is it fine to be a happy functioning human being most of the time
and completely disjointed some of the time?
I want to belong somewhere... but I dont believe that place is out there...
I dont like my time period and I will hate to pass from this world knowing only this
type of existence...
I believe the phrase... "Its just a phase he's going through" should be appropriate
and I hope that its true... I dont need this creeping shadow proding my mind for
the entirety of this life span....
to existence at this moment I say... are you on the edge of your swivel computer chair? Its an oldie but a goody.... wait for it.... sigh.
I don't know what is wrong with me but I feel it
It had faded for some time but I feel that darkness
creeping around in the recesses of my mind...
It was gone, I was sure it was... but certainty seems
to be a fleeting sensation.
Just further proof that it isn't safe for me to have time to
think.
Thought is my worst enemy and yet my most prized quality.
I have always loathed those devoid of the discomfort of thought
since they still get to enjoy opinions, but they must be
happier than me.
Not that I am necessarily unhappy... definitely not all the time
And its no longer most of the time...
But is some of the time okay?
Is it fine to be a happy functioning human being most of the time
and completely disjointed some of the time?
I want to belong somewhere... but I dont believe that place is out there...
I dont like my time period and I will hate to pass from this world knowing only this
type of existence...
I believe the phrase... "Its just a phase he's going through" should be appropriate
and I hope that its true... I dont need this creeping shadow proding my mind for
the entirety of this life span....
to existence at this moment I say... are you on the edge of your swivel computer chair? Its an oldie but a goody.... wait for it.... sigh.