Eat My Bubbles
"Eat My Bubbles" is a friendly, fun saying that swimmers use during competitions to jest with those they are competing against. SB loved having it written with a Sharpie on her back.
Yesterday was my daughter's first swimming meet. It was a developmental meet, meaning that it is for all skill levels, individual events are matched with equally skilled swimmers, ribbons are awarded; it's fun--as it should be, yet it begins to change as soon as their skills get to a certain level. Why do we do that to kids anyway? Push them? From fun to competition? Won't there be plenty of time for that later? *sigh* Anyway...I digress.
SB's (daughter's first and middle initials, since my husband is also S.) first event was 25 Freestyle. S., G. (youngest son), and I were on the far end of the pool with the official timers and other parents cheering. SB swam her heart out, never stopped, and used rotary breathing for the whole 25 meters. A great sucess.
While she was swimming and we were cheering, my cheers became choppy and caught as I started to feel the rush of emotion swelling and my eyes beginning to water. Why do I cry at this kind of thing?
SB was dead last...not by a lot, but there were loud, supportive cheers from all the spectators all the way to the last swimmer touching the pool's edge. She popped her head up, we were shouting, "Good job, babe! Way to go....put it here!" Lots of hand slapping and smiles. The first words out of her mouth, "Was I first?" she asked, a proud smile on her face. We smiled, said we had no idea, because she was doing such a good job swimming we didn't know, that she did a GREAT job though. She was so innocently oblivious I wished I could keep her there forever.
Her second event was the 25 Backstroke, which she actually came in 3rd or 4th--she's got a really strong backstroke. Again, she popped out, proud and smiling, knowing she was close to the front. She finished the day with a Freestyle relay, not sure at all where her team finished.
Later, I was talking with S. about it in the kitchen, "Wouldn't it be nice if we always had that many people cheering us on in our lives? Wouldn't that make you feel so strong, so sure of your place in the world?"
"Yea, it's all about competition later in life. Someone is always trying to beat you, better you, find fault," S. said.
It's the one thing I didn't expect as a parent. To experience the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows. I expected the joyful moments...and figured the sorrows would be there as well. What I didn't expect was that sometimes, even the joys have an element of sorrow to them. The witnessing of life unfolding...of little souls finding their places. A force so beautiful and gentle and trusting it hurts.
It was a simple day...with simple joys. Much needed.