(no subject)
today, i met my grandfather for lunch. meaning, i showed up at his office and then we went for lunch together, stopping at the bank. i sort of dreaded going out with him. i mean, he's oblivious to most of what's going on in my life, and he's a very loud, offensive person who always makes inappropriate comments to people. so i was waiting for his typical business, such as him telling a worker at somewhere he frequents, "how d'you like my new girlfriend?" (though i'm sure that even he knows that i'm a damned ugly woman by now) or otherwise reinforcing the strong gender binaries that he believes to be true. anyway, the bank went without incident--EXCEPT for a funny moment when we walked in. a teller he often works with greeted him, only she thought that we were there for me, not my grandfather (she probably figured he was helping me set up my first bank account or something, since i'm sooooo young and fresh). she said, "can i help you?" and he said, "sure--gimme some free money," to which she replied, "haha--i was talking to him [meaning me]." luckily, Grandpa can't hear for shit.
so then we made it to lunch, at a small family-ish restaurant (and no, i don't mean family as in queer). it wasn't so bad, except while joking with the server, he waved to me and said, "don't matter--she's buying!" this put a confused look on the server's face, but he was just generally so obnoxious that i think she figured he's simply a doddering old man. ah, ageism.
strike three occurred when he went to pay the bill. there was a long line at the cash register, and i had to pee. like, no-holds-barred, willing-to-risk-losing-face had to pee. so i bolted back to the bathrooms. there was no way in hell i was going into the women's room--i never do that unless the men's room is out of order or there's some other extreme situation, and this wasn't extreme enough for me. instead, i ducked into the men's room, hit a stall in case Grandpa got speedy and came in, and bolted back to the counter, all in about thirty seconds. (there are many joys of peeing standing up). he was like, "where'd you go?" and, without thinking, i told him i went to the bathroom. his response, which was priceless: "wow, you're a really fast pisser! i'm impressed."
i'm home for the holidays.