bittersweetstuff
you gave me one of your t-shirts to wear, what's the point, we pulled it off together three minutes later, lips meeting/repelling like magnets, is this okay, first time last time, get under the covers baby it's cold in here. the way it feels, chests pressed together, i wanna bury my face in your neck as deep as it goes. i want to eat your smell. i tell you to put on a record, you ask me what i wanna hear, even though you know i always just want you to play the zombies. you ask me if dead milkmen is okay and i say no. you put in something that makes me want to love you forever. when you are next to me i feel so warm so blessed so loved so soft i want to open up and let a river out. sometimes i do but it never goes the way i want it to. i wish it didn't matter to me, what i mean to you, what i meant to you. i know you'd never tell me in a million years even if you were crazy about me. wish you weren't so goddamn comfortable, wish the sleep wasn't so good. the first time, alltimes, we locked eyes and i knew but now i have to let it go. i try not to think about it but the way the weight of your hand sits on my waist like it belongs there, belonged there, is heavy in a way that i'll never understand.