Wow.
I was just reading through things befor I get up and clean the bathroom and I look at all that I have done. It makes me sad. I think I have done more bad than good. Being constructively selfish is hard. I don't even know if it is posible anymore. At one point I thought so but I am starting to think that the only way to do good is to be selfless. But even that has its problems.
I don't think I really hate life right now but I feel that I am dragging alot of people down. How can I be so blind for so long. I know Karen wants to move to the Island cause that is where all her frends are and I know that I can't go cause for a while yet I have obligations in the city of shit. It is really sad cause when Karen told me that the only friends she has here are Lee and I it made me sad. When I first met her, a year ago on the 11th, She was one of the most popular people in her friends group and then she started hanging with me and then dating me and now she has no friends here and the ones she does have are mine.
What the fuck is it about me that drags people along with me or should I say down with me. Oh well I know I will never figure it out but I sometimes wish I would stop doing this to people.
The sad part is I reilized that I only really have a couple friends over here. Most of my friends are on the Island too. But seeing as I have a very strong disliking for stupid people I don't mind being a hermit. I just wish more of the people I liked and respected lived over here. This place is like a soap opra. A really bad one. I have heard so many rumors about me and my small sect of friends that it makes me wonder if all these people have lives or if they just feed of making up things about others. I have never really cared about the rumors but they do make me laugh now and then. Cause the drama and how much small things can "ruin" Peoples lives just blows me away. That and the one about my girl friend and my sister sleeping together just about killed me. That is funny shit. Especialy if you have met my sister. HA.
I don't really know where I am going with any of this but I guess it never really goes anywhere. Mind it does make me feel better to write a small fraction of my thoughts and feelings down. I know you people don't seem to think I have any feelings but I do have one and it works quite well thank you. I always wonder if people read this but I guess they do cause when I do post there are coments that seem to imply they read it. Well I think I am going to go clean the gross ass washroom now.
Peace and love.
~BEE
I don't think I really hate life right now but I feel that I am dragging alot of people down. How can I be so blind for so long. I know Karen wants to move to the Island cause that is where all her frends are and I know that I can't go cause for a while yet I have obligations in the city of shit. It is really sad cause when Karen told me that the only friends she has here are Lee and I it made me sad. When I first met her, a year ago on the 11th, She was one of the most popular people in her friends group and then she started hanging with me and then dating me and now she has no friends here and the ones she does have are mine.
What the fuck is it about me that drags people along with me or should I say down with me. Oh well I know I will never figure it out but I sometimes wish I would stop doing this to people.
The sad part is I reilized that I only really have a couple friends over here. Most of my friends are on the Island too. But seeing as I have a very strong disliking for stupid people I don't mind being a hermit. I just wish more of the people I liked and respected lived over here. This place is like a soap opra. A really bad one. I have heard so many rumors about me and my small sect of friends that it makes me wonder if all these people have lives or if they just feed of making up things about others. I have never really cared about the rumors but they do make me laugh now and then. Cause the drama and how much small things can "ruin" Peoples lives just blows me away. That and the one about my girl friend and my sister sleeping together just about killed me. That is funny shit. Especialy if you have met my sister. HA.
I don't really know where I am going with any of this but I guess it never really goes anywhere. Mind it does make me feel better to write a small fraction of my thoughts and feelings down. I know you people don't seem to think I have any feelings but I do have one and it works quite well thank you. I always wonder if people read this but I guess they do cause when I do post there are coments that seem to imply they read it. Well I think I am going to go clean the gross ass washroom now.
Peace and love.
~BEE