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Comments 55

goodnightbert December 30 2006, 03:06:33 UTC
I have so MUCH love for this story. First, I love how you can TELL it's from Dean's POV, because the "narrator" isn't detached...we really get to see inside Dean's head. It's so great.

I love the OFC...she was ambiguous enough so you didn't get into the murky waters of a Mary Sue, but realized enough so that I liked her, even without a lot of info on her. I thought the fact that you didn't use her name was very interesting, particularly since all of the other waitresses were named. Did she defy a label in Dean's mind?

The sex was hot, and a little funny, with Dean coming too early in typical young guy fashion. I really loved Dean in the story, because he was funny and smart and so DEAN, but also so perfectly normal teeneaged boy, not particularly suave, just a regular guy...you did a great job of characterizing him. Sam was great, too - I loved that he's 13 and obnoxious and calling Dean a cocksucker, because that's so exactly how he would be with Dean.

The story made me crack up - so funny! And then the end was so sad; ( ... )

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zelost_mind December 30 2006, 11:22:09 UTC
Oh, wow. What lovely things you said. Thankyou.

-I really loved Dean in the story, because he was funny and smart and so DEAN, but also so perfectly normal teenaged boy, not particularly suave, just a regular guy...you did a great job of characterizing him.-

Made me grin so hard, reading that, 'cos i was slightly worried that i'd screw up, trying to get inside 17 year old Dean's head.

So glad you liked it, thanks again :}

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zelost_mind December 30 2006, 11:41:16 UTC
I forgot to say; Your icon is The Cutest. Hee...

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quellefromage December 30 2006, 06:01:46 UTC
Ah, I really liked your take on the whole "bang a waitress" thing. Makes sense. I liked that they were acting like kids, and that Dean actually tears up a bit at the end when he has to leave his girl. And het!! So little het in the fandom, it's nice to find some as well done as this. Yay, you!!

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zelost_mind December 30 2006, 11:29:09 UTC
Thank you so much.

The Dean tears almost didn't happen, but he's an emotional soul in canon now, so i figured he must have been really emo when he was seventeen.

And you like my het?! really!!? Yay me, indeed. :}

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keyweegirlie December 30 2006, 08:49:44 UTC
I just needed to tell you that I think this is one of my favorite Dean fics that I've read in a long time. I loved this passage...

He's got a fucking job to do, a responsibility, and she's just a girl. That's what dad said, and he's right. She's just some girl, and yeah, she made him want to grin a lot. She could calm him down just by existing in his breathing space, but he's seventeen and his eyeball's shouldn't be stinging like this, and why the hell does his throat feel like he's just hoarked his guts up? It's stupid, he's stupid for liking her so much cause she's still just some fucking girl.

...it's so heartbreaking. I was talking to someone earlier and I told them that Dean obviously has wanted things in his life, but has never really allowed himself to want them. And this, well this just sorta proved my point. So thank you. I look forward to reading more of your stuff. ;)

-C-

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zelost_mind December 30 2006, 11:39:43 UTC
Oh, i'm flattered by that. Thank you.

Yeah, i mean we heard that he had thoughts about being a fireman one day, and he told Jo that he wished he could do something different...And it is kinda sad, that he just accepted that this was his life and got on with it.

That's why he's so proud of Sam though, i guess. Why he got so mad in ELaC, when Sam said he was thinking about not going back to college?

Wow, i'm really babbling here, lol. Anyway, thanks again, i'm happy you liked it. :}

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keyweegirlie December 30 2006, 17:16:46 UTC
Thank you.

You're absolutely welcome... ;)

Wow, i'm really babbling here, lol.

Don't worry, I babble all the damn time. *giggles*

-C-

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zelost_mind December 30 2006, 19:57:18 UTC
*blushes* Thank you so much.

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the_ellcrys December 30 2006, 14:43:50 UTC
This fic is so much fun! I love it, nice work!

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zelost_mind December 30 2006, 20:01:32 UTC
Yay--I'm glad you thought so. It was supposed to be fun, so...yeah. Thank you. :}

Also...Your icon is one of my favorite Dean-expressions ever. Guh.

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