djdigit is my savior. Thanks to his awesomeness I am again in possession of an iPhone. Woooo!
Lesson learned: get iPhone locator software
Lesson reaffirmed: back up often (I lost some phone numbers I got at World Fantasy, but that's not too bad)
Lesson learned as a side effect: Keep track of the minutes I use. Turns out I was able to go down a plan and save $20 a month on my service because, shockingly, I just don't talk that much.
And the other thing, which wasn't really a lesson of any sort, but simply a reminder: I have awesome friends.