One Reason Men are Scum
I'm sitting here in my lab, as I have been for the past month or so. Currently, I'm waiting for the varnish I applied to a sample holder to finally dry, so I can start the measurements I was hoping to finish up yesterday. Such is my life, or lack thereof. While I'm here, essentially watching paint dry, I thought I might mention my neighbor Justin's astonishing discovery--women, apparently, are crazy.
Justin is a very laid-back, apathetic, it's-all-good character who doesn't stress over anything. As such, he's not really the most reliable person, something his girlfriend no doubt found frustrating. Several times he'll be hanging out with everyone in our foyer when his phone will ring, he'll answer it, and tell his girlfriend that he'll be at her apartment in 20 minutes. 30 minutes later, the same thing will happen. Some evenings she'll call 5 times, without me ever seeing Justin leave. I understand how annoying this must be for her, and how she can get upset. Here's how not to handle the situation.
A couple weeks ago, she called him up, and they started arguing. Justin, who does not like getting being lectured, asked why once and while she can't come to his place. She reponds that she hates his place, to which he basically says "well screw you then," and hangs up. Five minutes later, she tearfully calls up and apologizes, promises to make it up to him, and swears how much she loves him. Such a response left Justin completely baffled.
I'm no psychologist, it seems fairly clear what's happening. Justin responded negatively to her complaints, and the threat of losing her boyfriend caused her to cling even tighter to him. And by positively responding to his complaints, she conditioned him to start treating her worse than before. Justin has altered his behavior accordingly, and is rather confused by his success.
As he put it to me last Thursday: "I don't get it man, I really don't. I mean, ever since then I've pretty much been treating her like crap, but it just makes her fall all over herself to make me happy. I sort of feel bad about it, but I don't like getting bitched at, and this really works, so what else can I do?"
My guess is that their relationship will end soon, and she'll keep repeating this mistake with other people, constantly wondering why her boyfriends keep mistreating her, and concluding that it must be because all men are scum. Hopefully those reading this will not draw the same conclusion.