character meme
character meme. questions stolen from various people. Detective Trenchcoat, Dr Professor Labcoat, and Trenchcoat's stepsister Elisabella.
now they have everything but names.
What is your name? What does it mean, if anything?
Elisabella: it means my mother was a silly silly woman. maybe she couldn't decide between Elisabeth and Isabella?
[i haven't even come up with names for the boys- i'm bad, i know. suggestions?]
Where are you from?
Trenchcoat: this very city.
Labcoat: this very same city.
Elisabella: some other city.
How old are you?
Trenchcoat: i've been able to pass for everywhere from seventeen to forty. i like my job.
Labcoat: i'm about a year and a half younger than him.
Elisabella: i'm twenty-five.
What's your height?
Trenchcoat: six foot two and a half.
Labcoat: six feet.
Elisabella: 170 centimeters. or, if you prefer, seventeen decameters. why am i the only person who uses the decameter? it seems like it'd be a useful unit of measurement.
Do you have any bad habits?
Elisabella: i think i can safely say yes. my therapist says i hide behind my wit, and a former friend has said i'm not nearly as witty as i think i am. also i eat babies. and-
Labcoat: 'bad' is subjective. but yes, i have a few.
Trenchcoat: none that i care to list.
Elisabella: (still listing hers) oh, and drugs.
Have you killed anyone?
Elisabella: no.
Labcoat: i hope not!
Trenchcoat: do scientists have to take any sort of hippocratic oath?
Labcoat: ...well-
Elisabella: yes, he's changing the subject.
[okay, i haven't actually worked out all of their pasts yet]
Do you hate anyone?
Elisabella: i don't know about 'hate', but i dislike plenty of people.
Labcoat: ...can't say i do.
Trenchcoat: i'm gonna have to say i agree with Elisabella.
Elisabella: gasp!
Trenchcoat: i've encountered horrible, horrible people, but i think 'hate' is reserved for something more personal.
Have any secrets?
Elisabella: at this point at least one of my therapists is privy to every thought i have.
Labcoat: well, there are things i don't feel need to be made public...
Trenchcoat: yeah, i'm not much of a sharer. can't tell everyone everything.
Labcoat: neither can i. nothing major, though.
Do you love anyone?
Labcoat: ...i didn't have to take a hippocratic oath, but i made a promise to my mother.
Trenchcoat: that's at least as binding.
Labcoat: yeah.
Trenchcoat: i believe it.
Elisabella: ...my late parents and some of my therapists. possibly my stepbrother.
Labcoat: well...i guess i love my coworkers, my late sister, and my mother.
What is your job?
Elisabella: freelance train robber.
Trenchcoat: i'm a detective with the city pd.
Labcoat: a researcher based out of the university where i teach; i'm also a perpetual part-time student there.
Boy or girl?
Elisabella: three of each, please.
What's the weirdest thing that happened to you?
Elisabella: i got addicted to drugs. it may not be unusual, but believe me, it's weird. and there was the encounter with my mother's angel, but i've been told that was just a trick of my mind.
Labcoat: i was followed by a sinister clergyman; that was pretty weird. i've also been hit on in a mental hospital.
Trenchcoat and Elisabella: so have i.
Labcoat: guess i'll go with the clergyman then.
Trenchcoat: me too. there was also the drunk lieutenant episode, but i value my job too much to go into details here.
Elisabella: you'll tell us later, though, right?
Trenchcoat: ...
Elisabella: (whispers to Labcoat) that means yes.
Have you kissed anyone?
Elisabella: well, yeah.
Trenchcoat: yeah.
Labcoat: i have. mistletoe is surprisingly big at the university labs.
Trenchcoat: it's big at the precinct, too, unfortunately.
Favorite genre of music?
Trenchcoat: good old-fashioned rock suits me fine.
Elisabella: rock is good. classic rock, experimental, psychedelia, and the occasional dance-pop or dance-rap.
Labcoat: i like classic rock and experimental. also blues.
Favorite band?
Labcoat: The Beatles, of course.
Elisabella: no one believes me when i say The Beatles, so i'll go with the latest club band.
Labcoat: no one believes me when i say The Beatles either; everyone expects me to like Vivaldi.
Elisabella: ...i can totally see that.
Trenchcoat: well, i like the Stones.
Elisabella: oo, edgy.
Ever destroyed something out of Blind Rage?
Elisabella: why is 'Blind Rage' capitalized? is it a store or something?
Trenchcoat: my rage is always controlled. and not for months now.
Labcoat: my stuff is kind of expensive, so no.
Ever went on a date?
Trenchcoat: not for years now.
Labcoat: yes, i've been on a date; i'm not a total academic stereotype. don't ask me if i've been on a good date, though.
Elisabella: what kind of twenty-five-year-old hasn't been on a date? and no, i haven't.
What do you do to relax?
Elisabella: drugs. wait, no. i cuddle my pet dinosaur Don-don. DO HUGS NOT DRUGS. also porn.
Trenchcoat: i beat people at pool.
Elisabella: he drinks, too; he just won't say it in front of me.
Trenchcoat: ...
Labcoat: i sleep. seriously, what with sleeping twelve hours a day and working fourteen, there's not a lot of time for hobbies.
Elisabella: i thought scientists had to know basic math.
Labcoat: ...i guess i let Trenchcoat beat me at pool.
What's your talent?
Trenchcoat: beating people at pool. also my arrest record's not bad.
Labcoat: .........um.........
Elisabella: we are all very good at denial.
Who was your first?
Trenchcoat: arrest? some shoplifter. don't remember his name.
Elisabella: love? this boy in middle school.
Labcoat: friend? a kid named Craigory in first grade.
Elisabella: 'Craigory'? wonder if our moms had the same baby-names book.
Who's your mate/spouse?
Elisabella: Don-don.
Labcoat: my microscope.
Trenchcoat: no one.
Do you have any kids?
Elisabella: i haven't necessarily ruled it out altogether. i think i'm more the Cool Aunt type, really.
Labcoat: i think i'd know if i did. anyway, i really hope not; i don't want to pass on my genes.
Trenchcoat: i second that.
Labcoat: ouch.
Trenchcoat: i mean-
Labcoat: oh, right, right, sorry.
What's your favourite food?
Trenchcoat: coffee and donuts of course. also beer.
Elisabella: ...cookies. and expensive or exotic food. mostly cookies though.
Labcoat: i'll go with cookies. and, predictably enough, salad.
What's your favourite ice cream flavor?
Elisabella: pink.
Trenchcoat. vanilla.
Labcoat: mint chocolate-chip.
Trenchcoat: ...okay, cookie dough or brownie.
What do you think of your creator?
Trenchcoat: talk about personal questions. i'm an agnostic.
Labcoat: i'm an agnostic too, albeit one who prays and sometimes goes to church.
Trenchcoat: sounds more like you're in denial, either about being an atheist or not being one.
Labcoat: maybe i'm a hopeful agnostic.
Trenchcoat: you're a hopeful something.
Elisabella: well, i'm a believer.
What color is your hair?
Trenchcoat: a brownish shade of brown.
Labcoat: a brownish shade of blond.
Elisabella: a blackish shade of brown.
What's your sexual orientation?
Labcoat: never really thought about it. gender isn't really my biggest concern.
Trenchcoat: yeah, that's kind of an archaic question [the story's set twenty minutes in the future, by the way]. if you must know, the last person i kissed was female, i'm reasonably sure.
Elisabella: i've got it narrowed to asexual, bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, or omnisexual.
Are you a virgin?
Elisabella: yep, big one. far as i can remember, anyway.
Trenchcoat: not at the moment.
Labcoat: sort of.
Elisabella: see how forthcoming and specific we all are?
What song do you think would best describe yourself?
Elisabella: i know i'm expected to say 'Meds' or 'Frontier Psychiatrist', but i like Queen's 'Killer Queen'.
Trenchcoat: i heard that was about a drag queen.
Labcoat: i thought it was about a con artist.
Trenchcoat: well, Elisabella has dabbled in-
Elisabella: if you're gonna subject-change again i'll assign you theme songs. Trenchcoat, yours is Alesha Dixon's 'The Boy Does Nothing', and Dr Labcoat, yours is the dresden dolls' 'Coin-Operated Boy'.
Trenchcoat: why 'The Boy Does Nothing'? i'm the only one here who's awake twenty hours a day!
Elisabella: you can't dance, though.
Trenchcoat: ...
Any hidden talents or something no one else knows about you?
Elisabella: like i said, my therapists know everything. anyway, when i'm good at something i don't keep it to myself.
Labcoat: several. i'm pretty good at cooking and with babies. on a completely different note, i'm a decent shot. and i play piano.
Elisabella: oh, so do i.
Trenchcoat: i can do several accents. and i can drive fast.
Labcoat: i don't think that's a secret.
TACOS?
Elisabella: how is that a question? no verb there.
Trenchcoat: i'm gonna say no thanks.
Labcoat: seconded and seconded.
Ever slept in All day?
Elisabella: it's what i do.
Labcoat: not lately.
Trenchcoat: not in my adult life, i don't think. rarely wanted to.
Eye colors?
Elisabella: they're both dark brown.
Labcoat: greenish.
Trenchcoat: brown.
Skin?
Elisabella: yep, we all have it. my complexion isn't the greatest, though.
Labcoat: neither is mine. avoiding the sun doesn't lend itself to a healthy tan.
Elisabella: but you're wrinkle-free; that's a good thing.
Trenchcoat: i have a few scars.
Labcoat: oh, me too, mostly on my hands. lab work is serious business. [that meme will still be around twenty minutes in the future, i say!]
Fat/Average/Slim?
Elisabella: average thankyouverymuch! well, kind of rancid and skinny at the moment, but i've still got my hips.
Labcoat: average. on the slim side, i suppose...
Trenchcoat: average. never needed giant muscles.
Rain, sunshine?
Labcoat: i like both. as i'm usually indoors, i enjoy the rainy-day atmosphere.
Trenchcoat: not being a shut-in myself, i'd rather it didn't rain.
Elisabella: i'm only happy when it rains. well, really i like cloudy days the best.
Pool, Beach?
Labcoat: pool.
Trenchcoat: neither. i mean, pool.
Elisabella: both. but beach.
Camping, staying home?
Labcoat: staying home.
Elisabella: staying home. well, i wouldn't mind trying camping.
Trenchcoat: staying home.
Dog, Cat?
Elisabella: yes please! i was all about dogs when i was a kid, but at the moment i appreciate creatures who can take care of themselves.
Trenchcoat: me too. still like dogs, though.
Elisabella: right, it's not macho to like cats.
Labcoat: i must not be macho; i like cats as well as dogs.
Believe in aliens?
Labcoat: well, there's probably life SOMEWHERE else in the universe, but i don't think they've discovered us yet. at least, i don't think they've made contact yet. probably.
Elisabella: i'm gonna go with 'i don't know' too.
Trenchcoat: no.
Natural Born, or Clone?
Trenchcoat: are you aware that's an illegal question?
Car or Ship..?
Elisabella: ooh, ship.
Labcoat: ship.
Trenchcoat: car.
Elisabella: (whispers) seasickness.
Trenchcoat: (hears) no, it's just my macho love of cars.
Any Unusual Things about you?
Elisabella: plenty. we're all freakishly smart, for starters.
Labcoat: and so modest.
Elisabella: i'm sick of modesty.
Labcoat: i'm left-handed.
Trenchcoat: can't think of anything.
How much food/drink do you need a day?
Trenchcoat: kind of a lot; i don't sleep much.
Labcoat: not too much, though i do need my morning coffee.
Elisabella: lots. or very little.
Favorite Place?
Elisabella: is it sad that i like the mental hospital better than my apartment? sometimes when i was on drugs i'd wake up in the backyard of our old building.
Labcoat: the lab.
Trenchcoat: the bar.
Boxers or briefs?
Labcoat: ...neither.
Trenchcoat: ......neither. any more questions?
Elisabella: either or neither.
now they have everything but names.
What is your name? What does it mean, if anything?
Elisabella: it means my mother was a silly silly woman. maybe she couldn't decide between Elisabeth and Isabella?
[i haven't even come up with names for the boys- i'm bad, i know. suggestions?]
Where are you from?
Trenchcoat: this very city.
Labcoat: this very same city.
Elisabella: some other city.
How old are you?
Trenchcoat: i've been able to pass for everywhere from seventeen to forty. i like my job.
Labcoat: i'm about a year and a half younger than him.
Elisabella: i'm twenty-five.
What's your height?
Trenchcoat: six foot two and a half.
Labcoat: six feet.
Elisabella: 170 centimeters. or, if you prefer, seventeen decameters. why am i the only person who uses the decameter? it seems like it'd be a useful unit of measurement.
Do you have any bad habits?
Elisabella: i think i can safely say yes. my therapist says i hide behind my wit, and a former friend has said i'm not nearly as witty as i think i am. also i eat babies. and-
Labcoat: 'bad' is subjective. but yes, i have a few.
Trenchcoat: none that i care to list.
Elisabella: (still listing hers) oh, and drugs.
Have you killed anyone?
Elisabella: no.
Labcoat: i hope not!
Trenchcoat: do scientists have to take any sort of hippocratic oath?
Labcoat: ...well-
Elisabella: yes, he's changing the subject.
[okay, i haven't actually worked out all of their pasts yet]
Do you hate anyone?
Elisabella: i don't know about 'hate', but i dislike plenty of people.
Labcoat: ...can't say i do.
Trenchcoat: i'm gonna have to say i agree with Elisabella.
Elisabella: gasp!
Trenchcoat: i've encountered horrible, horrible people, but i think 'hate' is reserved for something more personal.
Have any secrets?
Elisabella: at this point at least one of my therapists is privy to every thought i have.
Labcoat: well, there are things i don't feel need to be made public...
Trenchcoat: yeah, i'm not much of a sharer. can't tell everyone everything.
Labcoat: neither can i. nothing major, though.
Do you love anyone?
Labcoat: ...i didn't have to take a hippocratic oath, but i made a promise to my mother.
Trenchcoat: that's at least as binding.
Labcoat: yeah.
Trenchcoat: i believe it.
Elisabella: ...my late parents and some of my therapists. possibly my stepbrother.
Labcoat: well...i guess i love my coworkers, my late sister, and my mother.
What is your job?
Elisabella: freelance train robber.
Trenchcoat: i'm a detective with the city pd.
Labcoat: a researcher based out of the university where i teach; i'm also a perpetual part-time student there.
Boy or girl?
Elisabella: three of each, please.
What's the weirdest thing that happened to you?
Elisabella: i got addicted to drugs. it may not be unusual, but believe me, it's weird. and there was the encounter with my mother's angel, but i've been told that was just a trick of my mind.
Labcoat: i was followed by a sinister clergyman; that was pretty weird. i've also been hit on in a mental hospital.
Trenchcoat and Elisabella: so have i.
Labcoat: guess i'll go with the clergyman then.
Trenchcoat: me too. there was also the drunk lieutenant episode, but i value my job too much to go into details here.
Elisabella: you'll tell us later, though, right?
Trenchcoat: ...
Elisabella: (whispers to Labcoat) that means yes.
Have you kissed anyone?
Elisabella: well, yeah.
Trenchcoat: yeah.
Labcoat: i have. mistletoe is surprisingly big at the university labs.
Trenchcoat: it's big at the precinct, too, unfortunately.
Favorite genre of music?
Trenchcoat: good old-fashioned rock suits me fine.
Elisabella: rock is good. classic rock, experimental, psychedelia, and the occasional dance-pop or dance-rap.
Labcoat: i like classic rock and experimental. also blues.
Favorite band?
Labcoat: The Beatles, of course.
Elisabella: no one believes me when i say The Beatles, so i'll go with the latest club band.
Labcoat: no one believes me when i say The Beatles either; everyone expects me to like Vivaldi.
Elisabella: ...i can totally see that.
Trenchcoat: well, i like the Stones.
Elisabella: oo, edgy.
Ever destroyed something out of Blind Rage?
Elisabella: why is 'Blind Rage' capitalized? is it a store or something?
Trenchcoat: my rage is always controlled. and not for months now.
Labcoat: my stuff is kind of expensive, so no.
Ever went on a date?
Trenchcoat: not for years now.
Labcoat: yes, i've been on a date; i'm not a total academic stereotype. don't ask me if i've been on a good date, though.
Elisabella: what kind of twenty-five-year-old hasn't been on a date? and no, i haven't.
What do you do to relax?
Elisabella: drugs. wait, no. i cuddle my pet dinosaur Don-don. DO HUGS NOT DRUGS. also porn.
Trenchcoat: i beat people at pool.
Elisabella: he drinks, too; he just won't say it in front of me.
Trenchcoat: ...
Labcoat: i sleep. seriously, what with sleeping twelve hours a day and working fourteen, there's not a lot of time for hobbies.
Elisabella: i thought scientists had to know basic math.
Labcoat: ...i guess i let Trenchcoat beat me at pool.
What's your talent?
Trenchcoat: beating people at pool. also my arrest record's not bad.
Labcoat: .........um.........
Elisabella: we are all very good at denial.
Who was your first?
Trenchcoat: arrest? some shoplifter. don't remember his name.
Elisabella: love? this boy in middle school.
Labcoat: friend? a kid named Craigory in first grade.
Elisabella: 'Craigory'? wonder if our moms had the same baby-names book.
Who's your mate/spouse?
Elisabella: Don-don.
Labcoat: my microscope.
Trenchcoat: no one.
Do you have any kids?
Elisabella: i haven't necessarily ruled it out altogether. i think i'm more the Cool Aunt type, really.
Labcoat: i think i'd know if i did. anyway, i really hope not; i don't want to pass on my genes.
Trenchcoat: i second that.
Labcoat: ouch.
Trenchcoat: i mean-
Labcoat: oh, right, right, sorry.
What's your favourite food?
Trenchcoat: coffee and donuts of course. also beer.
Elisabella: ...cookies. and expensive or exotic food. mostly cookies though.
Labcoat: i'll go with cookies. and, predictably enough, salad.
What's your favourite ice cream flavor?
Elisabella: pink.
Trenchcoat. vanilla.
Labcoat: mint chocolate-chip.
Trenchcoat: ...okay, cookie dough or brownie.
What do you think of your creator?
Trenchcoat: talk about personal questions. i'm an agnostic.
Labcoat: i'm an agnostic too, albeit one who prays and sometimes goes to church.
Trenchcoat: sounds more like you're in denial, either about being an atheist or not being one.
Labcoat: maybe i'm a hopeful agnostic.
Trenchcoat: you're a hopeful something.
Elisabella: well, i'm a believer.
What color is your hair?
Trenchcoat: a brownish shade of brown.
Labcoat: a brownish shade of blond.
Elisabella: a blackish shade of brown.
What's your sexual orientation?
Labcoat: never really thought about it. gender isn't really my biggest concern.
Trenchcoat: yeah, that's kind of an archaic question [the story's set twenty minutes in the future, by the way]. if you must know, the last person i kissed was female, i'm reasonably sure.
Elisabella: i've got it narrowed to asexual, bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual, or omnisexual.
Are you a virgin?
Elisabella: yep, big one. far as i can remember, anyway.
Trenchcoat: not at the moment.
Labcoat: sort of.
Elisabella: see how forthcoming and specific we all are?
What song do you think would best describe yourself?
Elisabella: i know i'm expected to say 'Meds' or 'Frontier Psychiatrist', but i like Queen's 'Killer Queen'.
Trenchcoat: i heard that was about a drag queen.
Labcoat: i thought it was about a con artist.
Trenchcoat: well, Elisabella has dabbled in-
Elisabella: if you're gonna subject-change again i'll assign you theme songs. Trenchcoat, yours is Alesha Dixon's 'The Boy Does Nothing', and Dr Labcoat, yours is the dresden dolls' 'Coin-Operated Boy'.
Trenchcoat: why 'The Boy Does Nothing'? i'm the only one here who's awake twenty hours a day!
Elisabella: you can't dance, though.
Trenchcoat: ...
Any hidden talents or something no one else knows about you?
Elisabella: like i said, my therapists know everything. anyway, when i'm good at something i don't keep it to myself.
Labcoat: several. i'm pretty good at cooking and with babies. on a completely different note, i'm a decent shot. and i play piano.
Elisabella: oh, so do i.
Trenchcoat: i can do several accents. and i can drive fast.
Labcoat: i don't think that's a secret.
TACOS?
Elisabella: how is that a question? no verb there.
Trenchcoat: i'm gonna say no thanks.
Labcoat: seconded and seconded.
Ever slept in All day?
Elisabella: it's what i do.
Labcoat: not lately.
Trenchcoat: not in my adult life, i don't think. rarely wanted to.
Eye colors?
Elisabella: they're both dark brown.
Labcoat: greenish.
Trenchcoat: brown.
Skin?
Elisabella: yep, we all have it. my complexion isn't the greatest, though.
Labcoat: neither is mine. avoiding the sun doesn't lend itself to a healthy tan.
Elisabella: but you're wrinkle-free; that's a good thing.
Trenchcoat: i have a few scars.
Labcoat: oh, me too, mostly on my hands. lab work is serious business. [that meme will still be around twenty minutes in the future, i say!]
Fat/Average/Slim?
Elisabella: average thankyouverymuch! well, kind of rancid and skinny at the moment, but i've still got my hips.
Labcoat: average. on the slim side, i suppose...
Trenchcoat: average. never needed giant muscles.
Rain, sunshine?
Labcoat: i like both. as i'm usually indoors, i enjoy the rainy-day atmosphere.
Trenchcoat: not being a shut-in myself, i'd rather it didn't rain.
Elisabella: i'm only happy when it rains. well, really i like cloudy days the best.
Pool, Beach?
Labcoat: pool.
Trenchcoat: neither. i mean, pool.
Elisabella: both. but beach.
Camping, staying home?
Labcoat: staying home.
Elisabella: staying home. well, i wouldn't mind trying camping.
Trenchcoat: staying home.
Dog, Cat?
Elisabella: yes please! i was all about dogs when i was a kid, but at the moment i appreciate creatures who can take care of themselves.
Trenchcoat: me too. still like dogs, though.
Elisabella: right, it's not macho to like cats.
Labcoat: i must not be macho; i like cats as well as dogs.
Believe in aliens?
Labcoat: well, there's probably life SOMEWHERE else in the universe, but i don't think they've discovered us yet. at least, i don't think they've made contact yet. probably.
Elisabella: i'm gonna go with 'i don't know' too.
Trenchcoat: no.
Natural Born, or Clone?
Trenchcoat: are you aware that's an illegal question?
Car or Ship..?
Elisabella: ooh, ship.
Labcoat: ship.
Trenchcoat: car.
Elisabella: (whispers) seasickness.
Trenchcoat: (hears) no, it's just my macho love of cars.
Any Unusual Things about you?
Elisabella: plenty. we're all freakishly smart, for starters.
Labcoat: and so modest.
Elisabella: i'm sick of modesty.
Labcoat: i'm left-handed.
Trenchcoat: can't think of anything.
How much food/drink do you need a day?
Trenchcoat: kind of a lot; i don't sleep much.
Labcoat: not too much, though i do need my morning coffee.
Elisabella: lots. or very little.
Favorite Place?
Elisabella: is it sad that i like the mental hospital better than my apartment? sometimes when i was on drugs i'd wake up in the backyard of our old building.
Labcoat: the lab.
Trenchcoat: the bar.
Boxers or briefs?
Labcoat: ...neither.
Trenchcoat: ......neither. any more questions?
Elisabella: either or neither.