(no subject)
Hahaha...I'm so sick and tired of peoples' stupid questions they ask me. So my mom found this website where people post what the most obnoxious comments and questions they've received have been, and I agree with all of them. The ones with the little asteriks (***) beside them are comments left by the woman who keeps this website. Some of these are really good XDXDXD
Now I'm off to driving! ;_; In the raaaaaaainnnn.....
Question of the Day
What's the most obnoxious question or comment you've ever received about homeschooling?
(Jump to the most recent additions)
A mother at a birthday party last year, who had already shared a litany of complaints about her public-schooled son (the poor lad himself, not his school), asked me, vis-à-vis homeschooling, "How do you get your daughter to listen to you?"
Without either hesitation or conscious intention, the first time in living memory that I was this quick, I replied, "I try to say something worth listening to."
--
A woman at my church (Unitarian Universalist) who is a teacher told me once that homeschooling was anti-UU because it was elitist.
But the stupid questions do not always come from non-homeschoolers. I have heard some homeschooling parents arguing about the "right" reasons to homeschool -- the right reasons being their own great philosophical or religious reasons -- which implied that you could homeschool for the wrong reasons, the wrong way.
--
I've received more (unasked for) comments than questions!
My "know-it-all" hairdresser said that homeschoolers grow up too attached to their parents and are unable to function independently when they get out on their own.
***Wonder how many homeschoolers this hairdresser actually knows -- other than the ones he insults when they come in to engage his services!
--
Another person told me that they'll miss out on the prom and other high school festivities.
***Okay, I may be in a bitter mood here, but -- raise your hands if your memories of high school were fluffy pink clouds of cotton candy!
--
Another person said that homeschooling may be good for academics, but the poor children will be isolated with no friends.
Of course, I have received the typical "But what about socialization?" question most often.
***Here's one thing I don't understand about those poor homeschooling kids who don't get to go to school and therefore can't socialize. What did the teacher always say when we wanted to chat with our friends during class? "Young lady, you are not here to -- " I think you can fill in that last word without my help.
--
The most obnoxious comment I ever got was from a friend of ours. (Actually, her husband is our friend -- she's just part of the package.)
"Well," she huffed, "MY daughter WANTS to go to a good college, so homeschooling would never be an option for her, but if that's the life your daughter wants -- that's great for you both." (What she's implying is that she thinks my daughter is going to be a loser when she grows up. I would never assume, but I know this woman.) She continues to brag constantly about her daughter's school successes, knowing full well that my daughter has nothing like "Future Republicans" or "Class Secretary" to share with the group. (Mind you, this woman has no more than a high school diploma herself.)
Although I have to say I haven't heard anywhere NEAR so much of this since my daughter played Swan Lake on the piano for them the last time they were over.
--
I don't really get a whole lot of stupid people questions, but one that does stand out in my mind is, "So, you don't want your child to go to college?" Huh? Blink blink.
My children get more stupid people questions than I do because they go to church activities and we are one of two homeschooling families in our ward. My twelve-year-old daughter was just told the other day that she wouldn't be able to find a husband if she didn't go to college.
***That sound you just heard is the poor Book Lady's brain exploding from all the many, many things wrong with that last statement.
--
Just yesterday a woman whose children I teach swimming to asked how do I know if my children are learning anything if I don't test them? Hmmm, let's see -- I talk to them. We have clear, coherent conversations that we all understand. And no, we don't talk about the coolest ringtones you can download for your phone, or what body parts so-and-so got pierced.
***Wow! The Book Lady is feeling narrowly edged-out for the coveted "Most Bitterness Felt in a Single Afternoon" award!
--
I always wonder if parents plan on testing their children their whole lives till they die. Well, shouldn't they? The stuff they really need to learn isn't taught at school anyway. How to feed a family, balance a checkbook, make a budget; how to be a good person, drive a car, cook -- pick some necessary skill. It probably wasn't learned in school.
--
My most bizarre conversation about homeschooling was when a parent expressed how concerned she would be about socialization if she were the one homeschooling. She then went on to tell me about how her kids need therapy because they are having a very hard time in school (kindergarten and preschool) because they do not speak English very well and the other kids tease them, so they don't tend to interact as a result. I was speechless.
***Don't these people ever have a "duh" moment? Even once?
--
My absolute favorite is:
Don't you hate being with your kids all day?
***Isn't that sweet? Especially when your kids are standing right there?
--
One of my worst moments was on Thanksgiving Day. The woman kept going on and on. "I've been in education for 40 years. And you can't possibly give him what he would get if he was in school." After about two hours of this, I'd been polite long enough. I answered, "Well, if you think it's that important, I'll give him an allowance, then sell him drugs. Oh, and once a week I'll shoot at him. And as for me not doing a good job educating him -- if I never teach him another thing, if I mess up really big, everyone will just think he went to public school."
Everyone started laughing (except her). I bet she'll think twice about doing that again.
--
My favorite questions and comments come from well-meaning but ill-informed family members who believe I'm ruining my children and their chance at a "real future" because they're not in school.
***Ah, some good old-fashioned words of kindness and support from the family -- isn't that just what we all need now and then?
--
I have been accused of both infantilizing my children and forcing them to grow up too soon in the same conversation.
***Fortunately, since these children are being homeschooled, there's a good chance they'll learn the meanings of hard words like "paradox."
--
The "testing" question is the one most often heard by both myself and my partner. "Surely you take them in for regular testing?"
***Well, no, but I'm beginning to think someone should take you in for some special tests.
--
My father started sending my seventeen-year-old e-mails about applying for the SATs when he was 15. My other two are 7 and 2 and as far as I know, even public schools don't start testing until second grade. So perhaps they're not totally ruined yet.
***Hey! I'll handle the sarcasm around here, thank you!
--
The other FUN thing that I get to deal with from NON-homeschoolers is the arbitrary questions thrown at my children -- a way to confirm or deny what they "should" be learning.
--
"How do your children learn to work in groups or under other people's direction?" This is the "socialization" question in disguise -- not directly offensive, but sort of assumes a family is NOT a group, or that if you learn to follow directions from your mother, that doesn't help you with following anyone else's directions. My usual response is a bit flippant: "Oh, you mean other than girl scouts, choir, Sunday School, youth group, community sports, homeschool group and 4H projects and competitions?" Of course, after that answer they may wonder when we ever have time for "school."
--
How about this one:
"But can you teach them calculus?"
(Oddly enough, this question usually comes from people who have never taken calculus.)
When dumbfounded, I usually just repeat the word that makes no sense. "Calculus?"
"Yeah, what happens when they get to calculus?"
"Why would they want to study calculus?"
"Well, I'm just asking, what happens when they get to a subject that you don't know anything about?"
"If my kid wants to study calculus, I'll do the same thing you'll do -- send them to someone who knows how to teach calculus."
--
The worst: "Well, we can't educate him. We don't think you can educate him. What makes you think you can educate him?" This question was asked by a special education director. My tight-lipped answer was, "I taught him to talk and tie his shoes."
The middle-of-the-road: "We really don't think you are teaching him anything, do you?" A sheep in wolf's clothing asked this one. She was representing a homeschool text supplier while working for the county office of education.
The best: (This was when he wanted to return to school for his last two years of education, a request I honored.) "We are really surprised. He passed his high school exit exam. How long did you homeschool him?" All his life!
And all this time, I thought Winnie-the-Pooh was the only one with a brain stuffed with fluff. My grandma was right -- you learn something new every day.
--
(Below items added 8/10/06)
Besides "What about socialization?" Has to be, "Don't you need a teaching degree?"
--
Our family always gets the usual, "But what about socialization?" question, to which I respond, "If you think a child will learn socialization from being in a classroom with 30 kids and one adult, then by all means, enjoy public school."
However, the most annoying question is, "How long are you going to teach your kids?" My response? "As long as I have something to teach them."
--
***Hey! Let's not get personal...
Mostly, I hate when we are at the grocery store and complete strangers feel the need to ask why my kids aren't in school. I respond, smiling hugely, "They are...they're learning math, reading, science, budgeting, home ec and communication skills. What did YOUR kids learn in the last hour?"
--
***And the award for the Most Cynical Statement Ever goes to...
I had a relative tell me that it was vital for children to suffer school -- to deal with bullies, drugs, bad teachers, teasing, cliques, unfair rules, suffering through classes teaching you what you already know or don't with to know, etc., because these things would make them strong and prepare them for the "real" world.
--
My father-in-law insists that my children will NEVER learn to be responsible people who can get to work on time if they don't go to school (this comment was made when my oldest was four years old). So I guess you have to start waking up at 6 a.m. (or earlier) at five years of age to go to school and learn to be on time. Because you know as homeschoolers we never have to be on time anywhere! The other funny thing about this is that I am very type-A about being on time, and can get super uptight if it looks like I am running just a few minutes behind, while he is late for just about everything -- and he went to school!
--
***And now, just to remind us that not every stranger is lying in wait with something obnoxious to say --
Yesterday we had a picnic/campfire at a beach, and while we were there, a man I knew only a little asked, "Do you ever worry that your kids won't turn out okay, or be successful, or will be weird, because you homeschool them?" I said yes, I worry about that sometimes, but...and just as I was gearing up to give one of my sensible, well-thought-out answers, he interrupted me with, "Don't! They'll do great."
He went on to tell us what each of his four children were doing -- all well-adjusted, successful and close to their families. He said we'll never be sorry we did it. I barely knew this family and hadn't realized they homeschooled. It was so nice to get such an encouraging, unsolicited comment. Especially since my four-year-old had been rolling in the soot from the fire and was covered, except for a ring around each eye, in greasy black gunk.
Now I'm off to driving! ;_; In the raaaaaaainnnn.....
Question of the Day
What's the most obnoxious question or comment you've ever received about homeschooling?
(Jump to the most recent additions)
A mother at a birthday party last year, who had already shared a litany of complaints about her public-schooled son (the poor lad himself, not his school), asked me, vis-à-vis homeschooling, "How do you get your daughter to listen to you?"
Without either hesitation or conscious intention, the first time in living memory that I was this quick, I replied, "I try to say something worth listening to."
--
A woman at my church (Unitarian Universalist) who is a teacher told me once that homeschooling was anti-UU because it was elitist.
But the stupid questions do not always come from non-homeschoolers. I have heard some homeschooling parents arguing about the "right" reasons to homeschool -- the right reasons being their own great philosophical or religious reasons -- which implied that you could homeschool for the wrong reasons, the wrong way.
--
I've received more (unasked for) comments than questions!
My "know-it-all" hairdresser said that homeschoolers grow up too attached to their parents and are unable to function independently when they get out on their own.
***Wonder how many homeschoolers this hairdresser actually knows -- other than the ones he insults when they come in to engage his services!
--
Another person told me that they'll miss out on the prom and other high school festivities.
***Okay, I may be in a bitter mood here, but -- raise your hands if your memories of high school were fluffy pink clouds of cotton candy!
--
Another person said that homeschooling may be good for academics, but the poor children will be isolated with no friends.
Of course, I have received the typical "But what about socialization?" question most often.
***Here's one thing I don't understand about those poor homeschooling kids who don't get to go to school and therefore can't socialize. What did the teacher always say when we wanted to chat with our friends during class? "Young lady, you are not here to -- " I think you can fill in that last word without my help.
--
The most obnoxious comment I ever got was from a friend of ours. (Actually, her husband is our friend -- she's just part of the package.)
"Well," she huffed, "MY daughter WANTS to go to a good college, so homeschooling would never be an option for her, but if that's the life your daughter wants -- that's great for you both." (What she's implying is that she thinks my daughter is going to be a loser when she grows up. I would never assume, but I know this woman.) She continues to brag constantly about her daughter's school successes, knowing full well that my daughter has nothing like "Future Republicans" or "Class Secretary" to share with the group. (Mind you, this woman has no more than a high school diploma herself.)
Although I have to say I haven't heard anywhere NEAR so much of this since my daughter played Swan Lake on the piano for them the last time they were over.
--
I don't really get a whole lot of stupid people questions, but one that does stand out in my mind is, "So, you don't want your child to go to college?" Huh? Blink blink.
My children get more stupid people questions than I do because they go to church activities and we are one of two homeschooling families in our ward. My twelve-year-old daughter was just told the other day that she wouldn't be able to find a husband if she didn't go to college.
***That sound you just heard is the poor Book Lady's brain exploding from all the many, many things wrong with that last statement.
--
Just yesterday a woman whose children I teach swimming to asked how do I know if my children are learning anything if I don't test them? Hmmm, let's see -- I talk to them. We have clear, coherent conversations that we all understand. And no, we don't talk about the coolest ringtones you can download for your phone, or what body parts so-and-so got pierced.
***Wow! The Book Lady is feeling narrowly edged-out for the coveted "Most Bitterness Felt in a Single Afternoon" award!
--
I always wonder if parents plan on testing their children their whole lives till they die. Well, shouldn't they? The stuff they really need to learn isn't taught at school anyway. How to feed a family, balance a checkbook, make a budget; how to be a good person, drive a car, cook -- pick some necessary skill. It probably wasn't learned in school.
--
My most bizarre conversation about homeschooling was when a parent expressed how concerned she would be about socialization if she were the one homeschooling. She then went on to tell me about how her kids need therapy because they are having a very hard time in school (kindergarten and preschool) because they do not speak English very well and the other kids tease them, so they don't tend to interact as a result. I was speechless.
***Don't these people ever have a "duh" moment? Even once?
--
My absolute favorite is:
Don't you hate being with your kids all day?
***Isn't that sweet? Especially when your kids are standing right there?
--
One of my worst moments was on Thanksgiving Day. The woman kept going on and on. "I've been in education for 40 years. And you can't possibly give him what he would get if he was in school." After about two hours of this, I'd been polite long enough. I answered, "Well, if you think it's that important, I'll give him an allowance, then sell him drugs. Oh, and once a week I'll shoot at him. And as for me not doing a good job educating him -- if I never teach him another thing, if I mess up really big, everyone will just think he went to public school."
Everyone started laughing (except her). I bet she'll think twice about doing that again.
--
My favorite questions and comments come from well-meaning but ill-informed family members who believe I'm ruining my children and their chance at a "real future" because they're not in school.
***Ah, some good old-fashioned words of kindness and support from the family -- isn't that just what we all need now and then?
--
I have been accused of both infantilizing my children and forcing them to grow up too soon in the same conversation.
***Fortunately, since these children are being homeschooled, there's a good chance they'll learn the meanings of hard words like "paradox."
--
The "testing" question is the one most often heard by both myself and my partner. "Surely you take them in for regular testing?"
***Well, no, but I'm beginning to think someone should take you in for some special tests.
--
My father started sending my seventeen-year-old e-mails about applying for the SATs when he was 15. My other two are 7 and 2 and as far as I know, even public schools don't start testing until second grade. So perhaps they're not totally ruined yet.
***Hey! I'll handle the sarcasm around here, thank you!
--
The other FUN thing that I get to deal with from NON-homeschoolers is the arbitrary questions thrown at my children -- a way to confirm or deny what they "should" be learning.
--
"How do your children learn to work in groups or under other people's direction?" This is the "socialization" question in disguise -- not directly offensive, but sort of assumes a family is NOT a group, or that if you learn to follow directions from your mother, that doesn't help you with following anyone else's directions. My usual response is a bit flippant: "Oh, you mean other than girl scouts, choir, Sunday School, youth group, community sports, homeschool group and 4H projects and competitions?" Of course, after that answer they may wonder when we ever have time for "school."
--
How about this one:
"But can you teach them calculus?"
(Oddly enough, this question usually comes from people who have never taken calculus.)
When dumbfounded, I usually just repeat the word that makes no sense. "Calculus?"
"Yeah, what happens when they get to calculus?"
"Why would they want to study calculus?"
"Well, I'm just asking, what happens when they get to a subject that you don't know anything about?"
"If my kid wants to study calculus, I'll do the same thing you'll do -- send them to someone who knows how to teach calculus."
--
The worst: "Well, we can't educate him. We don't think you can educate him. What makes you think you can educate him?" This question was asked by a special education director. My tight-lipped answer was, "I taught him to talk and tie his shoes."
The middle-of-the-road: "We really don't think you are teaching him anything, do you?" A sheep in wolf's clothing asked this one. She was representing a homeschool text supplier while working for the county office of education.
The best: (This was when he wanted to return to school for his last two years of education, a request I honored.) "We are really surprised. He passed his high school exit exam. How long did you homeschool him?" All his life!
And all this time, I thought Winnie-the-Pooh was the only one with a brain stuffed with fluff. My grandma was right -- you learn something new every day.
--
(Below items added 8/10/06)
Besides "What about socialization?" Has to be, "Don't you need a teaching degree?"
--
Our family always gets the usual, "But what about socialization?" question, to which I respond, "If you think a child will learn socialization from being in a classroom with 30 kids and one adult, then by all means, enjoy public school."
However, the most annoying question is, "How long are you going to teach your kids?" My response? "As long as I have something to teach them."
--
***Hey! Let's not get personal...
Mostly, I hate when we are at the grocery store and complete strangers feel the need to ask why my kids aren't in school. I respond, smiling hugely, "They are...they're learning math, reading, science, budgeting, home ec and communication skills. What did YOUR kids learn in the last hour?"
--
***And the award for the Most Cynical Statement Ever goes to...
I had a relative tell me that it was vital for children to suffer school -- to deal with bullies, drugs, bad teachers, teasing, cliques, unfair rules, suffering through classes teaching you what you already know or don't with to know, etc., because these things would make them strong and prepare them for the "real" world.
--
My father-in-law insists that my children will NEVER learn to be responsible people who can get to work on time if they don't go to school (this comment was made when my oldest was four years old). So I guess you have to start waking up at 6 a.m. (or earlier) at five years of age to go to school and learn to be on time. Because you know as homeschoolers we never have to be on time anywhere! The other funny thing about this is that I am very type-A about being on time, and can get super uptight if it looks like I am running just a few minutes behind, while he is late for just about everything -- and he went to school!
--
***And now, just to remind us that not every stranger is lying in wait with something obnoxious to say --
Yesterday we had a picnic/campfire at a beach, and while we were there, a man I knew only a little asked, "Do you ever worry that your kids won't turn out okay, or be successful, or will be weird, because you homeschool them?" I said yes, I worry about that sometimes, but...and just as I was gearing up to give one of my sensible, well-thought-out answers, he interrupted me with, "Don't! They'll do great."
He went on to tell us what each of his four children were doing -- all well-adjusted, successful and close to their families. He said we'll never be sorry we did it. I barely knew this family and hadn't realized they homeschooled. It was so nice to get such an encouraging, unsolicited comment. Especially since my four-year-old had been rolling in the soot from the fire and was covered, except for a ring around each eye, in greasy black gunk.