Ghosts Of The Abyss: Chapter 4
ZeldaQueen: Well, we can wave bye-bye to Tia Dalma's awesomeness in this chapter
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 4
Katherine
ZeldaQueen: Point of View Change! \~/
The biting cold seemed to flood the ship with its merciless, angry frost. Everyone, and everything, was covered in a thick blanket of ice; even the monkey was shivering. I sat on the stairs leading to the helm, watching as the others slowly moved about the deck.
ZeldaQueen: And why aren't you doing any work, might I ask? Oh sure, you expect us to believe that you're a tough pirate lord, but when actual work is involved, you just sit on your fanny!
“Are you sure this is the way?” I asked, my voice and body trembling.
ZeldaQueen: Wuss
“Aye,” replied Uncle Hector. He, too, was covered in frost, yet he paid it no heed.
I rose, somehow making my frozen body move, and walked to the railing, looking out over the frozen sea; large icebergs loomed ominously above the tiny sloop, seeming to glare down as we passed.
ZeldaQueen: (Icebergs) "Oh look, another Sue off to bed Jack Sparrow. Lovely"
“N…no one s…said anything about c…cold,” shivered Pintel.
“I’m s…sure there m…must be a g…good reason for our s…suffering,” returned Ragetti.
“Why do…don’t th…that voodoo woman br…bring b…back J…Jack the same way sh…she brought b…back Bar…Barbossa?” muttered Pintel, looking at Tia Dalma.
ZeldaQueen: Poor guys, trying to cling to canon. A noble effort, even if the Suethor does suck out their funny *hugs them*
Tia Dalma glared at him. “Because Barbossa was only dead! Jack Sparrow is taken, body and soul, to a place not of this earth, but punishment! The worst fate a person can bring upon himself, stretching on forever. That is what awaits at Davy Jones’s Locker.”
She shifted past, and I clutched at the railing angrily.
ZeldaQueen: Hooo boy. Character bashing in three...two...one...
“I kn…knew there was a g…good reason for our suffering,” muttered Ragetti.
“Well, aren’t you bloody optimistic?” I hissed to Tia Dalma.
ZeldaQueen: Um, dear? She wasn't being pessimistic, she was being honest. That was the truth - Barbossa was shot, his body was still in the real world. Jack was snatched, body and all, by the Kraken. She can't raise him from the dead because there's nothing to raise his spirit to.
Oh, but just wait for it...
The witch turned. “Jack brought this upon himself! No one asked you to drag us all along on this fool’s errand!”
ZeldaQueen: Yep. That was just added in to ease us into the fact that Tia Dalma/Calypso is going to be an evil bitch in this fic, and we'd just better get used to it. And by "eased", I mean "moved with all the subtlety of a train running into a bowling alley".
I would like to take a moment to point out two things. The first thing is that Tia Dalma is right. Jack did bring it on himself. He made the deal with Jones and he went running around and nearly killing his crew. Getting eaten by the Kraken was the most honorable and decent act he could have done. The second thing is that it makes no sense for Tia Dalma to be bitchy about Kate insisting that they all go along to World's End. Tia Dalma was the one who brought up the idea. She wanted them to go. She wanted Jack rescued. Why? Because she's FUCKING CALYPSO and reuniting the pirate lords is the only way she could be freed from her human prison, and they need Jack for that!
But like I said, Gethesemane just has this all happen for no reason other than Calypso being Evil, even though it doesn't match at all with her rather bland personality in the first fic. Take a drink for that. Also, take a drink for Kate referring to Tia Dalma as "the witch". It's not "the heathen", but it's in that same vein \~/ \~/
“Tia Dalma!” cried Uncle Hector.
She looked up at him.
“I’ll not have ye speakin’ to my niece that way,” he said darkly. “Or else we’ll leave you in the Locker in Jack’s place.”
ZeldaQueen: Clearly Barbossa suffers from severe memory loss. Otherwise, how else could he forget that he wants and needs Tia Dalma because he wants to release Calypso and use her favor to defeat the East India Trading Company?
You going to answer that, Gethesemane? You going to explain to us why Barbossa is bothering to help Calypso and rescue Jack if he doesn't want to play nice and get her help later? Of course you won't explain. Since when have little things like "motives" or "consistency in character" gotten in the way of your stupid shippings and wank fantasies?
“I can send you right back to Death’s Realm,” hissed Tia Dalma. She then turned to me. “And you too.”
ZeldaQueen: Dude, do it!
And I still don't get why she's so pissy. They're doing everything she wants! Hm, maybe the goddess of the sea is on the rag
She then walked down below, casting me a dark glare. Elizabeth came to my side.
ZeldaQueen: Hey look! Elizabeth is still here! Take a drink! \~/
“It’s not escaped my notice that she seems jealous of you,” she said softly.
ZeldaQueen: OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, NOT THIS ROUTINE AGAIN! \~/
“Why would she be jealous of me? She’s the one with power.”
“But you’re the one with Jack. You’re the one he loves.”
ZeldaQueen: *flailing from lack of logic* AND WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING??? Seriously, I'm at a loss here! Yes, it was implied that Tia Dalma and Jack had a history, but Davy Jones was her sweetheart! If Tia Dalma was still seriously mooning over Jack, why wouldn't she have been jealous of Elizabeth, in canon? Or Scarlett or any of the many women Jack was with?
I looked away from her. “Is this all a fool’s errand, going to the End of the World to save him?”
ZeldaQueen: *flabbergasted* I...she...what was the point of that last bit of dialogue??? What was that supposed to be? A dead herring about why Tia Dalma was so bitchy at Kate? The implication that Tia Dalma still loved Jack? WHAT?
*narrows eyes* Right, we all know the reason, ladies and gentlemen. It was just a way for Gethesemane to shit over a female character who was legitimately powerful and active (albeit a full-on Woman Scorned), just to make her Sue look better. The entire point of that conversation was just to bring up the fact that (A) Kate was the Only Woman Jack Loved and (B) the powerful voodoo priestess/ sea goddess with all sorts of knowledge and abilities is reduced to being pettily jealous over it.
That is just disgusting. There is honestly no other word for it \~/
“I don’t think so. You know, many say that they would go to the ends of the earth for their lovers, but you’re the only one brave enough to do it.”
ZeldaQueen: *eyetwitch*
Why thank you, Mr. Talbot! Took the words right out of my mouth
“Or insane.”
ZeldaQueen: I'd second that notion
“Probably got that from Jack.”
ZeldaQueen: The wank, on the other hand, is from the Suethor
I smiled at her. “I don’t know. If you’re related to pirates, you tend to be a bit daft.”
She glanced at my uncle, then nodded. “Point taken.”
ZeldaQueen: YES. THAT IS TRUE. YOU HAVE FEWER BRAINS THAN A DUCK. NOW PLEASE DIE!
“Well, mates, have any of you ever seen the green flash?” asked Uncle Hector.
ZeldaQueen: Is that the new DC crossover?
No one spoke. He turned to Gibbs.
“Mr. Gibbs?”
“Aye. Many claim to have seen it, but few have seen it in their lifetime. Ye see, once in a while, there’ll be a green flash, which - ”
“Which means a soul is going to return from the dead!” interjected Pintel.
Gibbs glared, and Pintel smiled apologetically.
ZeldaQueen: God, this is stupid
Jack
ZeldaQueen: \~/
“My peanut,” I muttered as I took it from my dead clone’s hand.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah folks, really sorry here, Gethesemane seems to think she can properly narrate a scene which was focused primarily on visual humor. Given that she really can't even properly narrate between two different characters, this goes to pot quickly.
Also, how the fuck would Jack know the word "clone"? I'm pretty sure it wasn't around at this point in time
The heat seemed almost unbearable; the Black Pearl was trapped in a sea of white sand, made brighter by the sun beating down mercilessly.
ZeldaQueen: While Gethesemane was picturing Johnny Depp's sweating body and began beating off.
I'm so sorry
All around me, other clones buzzed with activity. One in particular did not seem to be tying a knot correctly.
ZeldaQueen: Look, it's bad enough that the original Jack was married out of character. We don't need the hallucinated ones getting the same
“It looks acceptable enough, Sir,” he said softly.
I withdrew my sword and thrust it angrily into his stomach, then withdrew it again when he had collapsed to the deck. I idly cleaned the blade on the railing, then stepped up onto the banister, grabbing a rope.
ZeldaQueen: And promptly hung himself to escape the fic. The end
“Gentlemen,” I said, “I wash my hands of this weirdness.”
ZeldaQueen: (Jack) "I'm moving to the Alice in Wonderland fandom. There certainly aren't any insane fangirls involved with that one!"
I slid down to the sand, only to find there was no wind.
“Of course there’s no bloody wind,” I muttered under my breath. I walked around the ship; still no wind.
“…we shall have a magnificent garden party, and you’re not invited!”
ZeldaQueen: ...And that came from where, exactly?
Seriously Gethesemane, if you want to narrate this bit, do it properly and give us an idea of what's going on in Jack's head!
I turned around again and found a rock at my feet. I picked it up, looking at it.
Oh, for God’s sake, it’s a rock! There’s nothing interesting about a bloody rock.
ZeldaQueen: Just like there's nothing interesting about this bloody fic
I cocked my hand back and threw it before turning again. I found that I was in the middle of nowhere; there was not another soul to be found.
ZeldaQueen: Why is he noticing everything now? Hasn't he been there for a couple of days already?
I turned around again. The rock was once again at my heel.
“We’re being followed by rocks,” I grumbled as I picked it up and threw it once again. “Never heard that before.”
ZeldaQueen: Well, I've never heard of such a stupid cliffhanger before
(Author’s Note: Hello, poppets.
ZeldaQueen: That's almost as bad as her "hello, my pets" from her Sweeny Todd fics. I think Gethesemane actually forgets that she isn't actually her self insert
I just rewrote the first chapter of Origin if you want to read that.
ZeldaQueen: I don't
I’m sorry that Jack’s half of the chapter was kind of boring; it’s a bit difficult to write a complete delirium without becoming delirious myself,
ZeldaQueen: Honey, you apparently believe that you're living in France, married to Gerard Butler. The time has long past since you "became" delirious
but hey, he said “My peanut.” That’s enough to make me happy.)
ZeldaQueen: And of course, this is all about your happiness. Audience enjoyment can just go to Hell. Huh, like Suethor like Sue
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Onward to: Chapter 5
Back to: Chapter 3
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 4
Katherine
ZeldaQueen: Point of View Change! \~/
The biting cold seemed to flood the ship with its merciless, angry frost. Everyone, and everything, was covered in a thick blanket of ice; even the monkey was shivering. I sat on the stairs leading to the helm, watching as the others slowly moved about the deck.
ZeldaQueen: And why aren't you doing any work, might I ask? Oh sure, you expect us to believe that you're a tough pirate lord, but when actual work is involved, you just sit on your fanny!
“Are you sure this is the way?” I asked, my voice and body trembling.
ZeldaQueen: Wuss
“Aye,” replied Uncle Hector. He, too, was covered in frost, yet he paid it no heed.
I rose, somehow making my frozen body move, and walked to the railing, looking out over the frozen sea; large icebergs loomed ominously above the tiny sloop, seeming to glare down as we passed.
ZeldaQueen: (Icebergs) "Oh look, another Sue off to bed Jack Sparrow. Lovely"
“N…no one s…said anything about c…cold,” shivered Pintel.
“I’m s…sure there m…must be a g…good reason for our s…suffering,” returned Ragetti.
“Why do…don’t th…that voodoo woman br…bring b…back J…Jack the same way sh…she brought b…back Bar…Barbossa?” muttered Pintel, looking at Tia Dalma.
ZeldaQueen: Poor guys, trying to cling to canon. A noble effort, even if the Suethor does suck out their funny *hugs them*
Tia Dalma glared at him. “Because Barbossa was only dead! Jack Sparrow is taken, body and soul, to a place not of this earth, but punishment! The worst fate a person can bring upon himself, stretching on forever. That is what awaits at Davy Jones’s Locker.”
She shifted past, and I clutched at the railing angrily.
ZeldaQueen: Hooo boy. Character bashing in three...two...one...
“I kn…knew there was a g…good reason for our suffering,” muttered Ragetti.
“Well, aren’t you bloody optimistic?” I hissed to Tia Dalma.
ZeldaQueen: Um, dear? She wasn't being pessimistic, she was being honest. That was the truth - Barbossa was shot, his body was still in the real world. Jack was snatched, body and all, by the Kraken. She can't raise him from the dead because there's nothing to raise his spirit to.
Oh, but just wait for it...
The witch turned. “Jack brought this upon himself! No one asked you to drag us all along on this fool’s errand!”
ZeldaQueen: Yep. That was just added in to ease us into the fact that Tia Dalma/Calypso is going to be an evil bitch in this fic, and we'd just better get used to it. And by "eased", I mean "moved with all the subtlety of a train running into a bowling alley".
I would like to take a moment to point out two things. The first thing is that Tia Dalma is right. Jack did bring it on himself. He made the deal with Jones and he went running around and nearly killing his crew. Getting eaten by the Kraken was the most honorable and decent act he could have done. The second thing is that it makes no sense for Tia Dalma to be bitchy about Kate insisting that they all go along to World's End. Tia Dalma was the one who brought up the idea. She wanted them to go. She wanted Jack rescued. Why? Because she's FUCKING CALYPSO and reuniting the pirate lords is the only way she could be freed from her human prison, and they need Jack for that!
But like I said, Gethesemane just has this all happen for no reason other than Calypso being Evil, even though it doesn't match at all with her rather bland personality in the first fic. Take a drink for that. Also, take a drink for Kate referring to Tia Dalma as "the witch". It's not "the heathen", but it's in that same vein \~/ \~/
“Tia Dalma!” cried Uncle Hector.
She looked up at him.
“I’ll not have ye speakin’ to my niece that way,” he said darkly. “Or else we’ll leave you in the Locker in Jack’s place.”
ZeldaQueen: Clearly Barbossa suffers from severe memory loss. Otherwise, how else could he forget that he wants and needs Tia Dalma because he wants to release Calypso and use her favor to defeat the East India Trading Company?
You going to answer that, Gethesemane? You going to explain to us why Barbossa is bothering to help Calypso and rescue Jack if he doesn't want to play nice and get her help later? Of course you won't explain. Since when have little things like "motives" or "consistency in character" gotten in the way of your stupid shippings and wank fantasies?
“I can send you right back to Death’s Realm,” hissed Tia Dalma. She then turned to me. “And you too.”
ZeldaQueen: Dude, do it!
And I still don't get why she's so pissy. They're doing everything she wants! Hm, maybe the goddess of the sea is on the rag
She then walked down below, casting me a dark glare. Elizabeth came to my side.
ZeldaQueen: Hey look! Elizabeth is still here! Take a drink! \~/
“It’s not escaped my notice that she seems jealous of you,” she said softly.
ZeldaQueen: OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, NOT THIS ROUTINE AGAIN! \~/
“Why would she be jealous of me? She’s the one with power.”
“But you’re the one with Jack. You’re the one he loves.”
ZeldaQueen: *flailing from lack of logic* AND WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING??? Seriously, I'm at a loss here! Yes, it was implied that Tia Dalma and Jack had a history, but Davy Jones was her sweetheart! If Tia Dalma was still seriously mooning over Jack, why wouldn't she have been jealous of Elizabeth, in canon? Or Scarlett or any of the many women Jack was with?
I looked away from her. “Is this all a fool’s errand, going to the End of the World to save him?”
ZeldaQueen: *flabbergasted* I...she...what was the point of that last bit of dialogue??? What was that supposed to be? A dead herring about why Tia Dalma was so bitchy at Kate? The implication that Tia Dalma still loved Jack? WHAT?
*narrows eyes* Right, we all know the reason, ladies and gentlemen. It was just a way for Gethesemane to shit over a female character who was legitimately powerful and active (albeit a full-on Woman Scorned), just to make her Sue look better. The entire point of that conversation was just to bring up the fact that (A) Kate was the Only Woman Jack Loved and (B) the powerful voodoo priestess/ sea goddess with all sorts of knowledge and abilities is reduced to being pettily jealous over it.
That is just disgusting. There is honestly no other word for it \~/
“I don’t think so. You know, many say that they would go to the ends of the earth for their lovers, but you’re the only one brave enough to do it.”
ZeldaQueen: *eyetwitch*
Why thank you, Mr. Talbot! Took the words right out of my mouth
“Or insane.”
ZeldaQueen: I'd second that notion
“Probably got that from Jack.”
ZeldaQueen: The wank, on the other hand, is from the Suethor
I smiled at her. “I don’t know. If you’re related to pirates, you tend to be a bit daft.”
She glanced at my uncle, then nodded. “Point taken.”
ZeldaQueen: YES. THAT IS TRUE. YOU HAVE FEWER BRAINS THAN A DUCK. NOW PLEASE DIE!
“Well, mates, have any of you ever seen the green flash?” asked Uncle Hector.
ZeldaQueen: Is that the new DC crossover?
No one spoke. He turned to Gibbs.
“Mr. Gibbs?”
“Aye. Many claim to have seen it, but few have seen it in their lifetime. Ye see, once in a while, there’ll be a green flash, which - ”
“Which means a soul is going to return from the dead!” interjected Pintel.
Gibbs glared, and Pintel smiled apologetically.
ZeldaQueen: God, this is stupid
Jack
ZeldaQueen: \~/
“My peanut,” I muttered as I took it from my dead clone’s hand.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah folks, really sorry here, Gethesemane seems to think she can properly narrate a scene which was focused primarily on visual humor. Given that she really can't even properly narrate between two different characters, this goes to pot quickly.
Also, how the fuck would Jack know the word "clone"? I'm pretty sure it wasn't around at this point in time
The heat seemed almost unbearable; the Black Pearl was trapped in a sea of white sand, made brighter by the sun beating down mercilessly.
ZeldaQueen: While Gethesemane was picturing Johnny Depp's sweating body and began beating off.
I'm so sorry
All around me, other clones buzzed with activity. One in particular did not seem to be tying a knot correctly.
ZeldaQueen: Look, it's bad enough that the original Jack was married out of character. We don't need the hallucinated ones getting the same
“It looks acceptable enough, Sir,” he said softly.
I withdrew my sword and thrust it angrily into his stomach, then withdrew it again when he had collapsed to the deck. I idly cleaned the blade on the railing, then stepped up onto the banister, grabbing a rope.
ZeldaQueen: And promptly hung himself to escape the fic. The end
“Gentlemen,” I said, “I wash my hands of this weirdness.”
ZeldaQueen: (Jack) "I'm moving to the Alice in Wonderland fandom. There certainly aren't any insane fangirls involved with that one!"
I slid down to the sand, only to find there was no wind.
“Of course there’s no bloody wind,” I muttered under my breath. I walked around the ship; still no wind.
“…we shall have a magnificent garden party, and you’re not invited!”
ZeldaQueen: ...And that came from where, exactly?
Seriously Gethesemane, if you want to narrate this bit, do it properly and give us an idea of what's going on in Jack's head!
I turned around again and found a rock at my feet. I picked it up, looking at it.
Oh, for God’s sake, it’s a rock! There’s nothing interesting about a bloody rock.
ZeldaQueen: Just like there's nothing interesting about this bloody fic
I cocked my hand back and threw it before turning again. I found that I was in the middle of nowhere; there was not another soul to be found.
ZeldaQueen: Why is he noticing everything now? Hasn't he been there for a couple of days already?
I turned around again. The rock was once again at my heel.
“We’re being followed by rocks,” I grumbled as I picked it up and threw it once again. “Never heard that before.”
ZeldaQueen: Well, I've never heard of such a stupid cliffhanger before
(Author’s Note: Hello, poppets.
ZeldaQueen: That's almost as bad as her "hello, my pets" from her Sweeny Todd fics. I think Gethesemane actually forgets that she isn't actually her self insert
I just rewrote the first chapter of Origin if you want to read that.
ZeldaQueen: I don't
I’m sorry that Jack’s half of the chapter was kind of boring; it’s a bit difficult to write a complete delirium without becoming delirious myself,
ZeldaQueen: Honey, you apparently believe that you're living in France, married to Gerard Butler. The time has long past since you "became" delirious
but hey, he said “My peanut.” That’s enough to make me happy.)
ZeldaQueen: And of course, this is all about your happiness. Audience enjoyment can just go to Hell. Huh, like Suethor like Sue
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Onward to: Chapter 5
Back to: Chapter 3
Return to: Table of Contents