ZeldaQueen: Alrighty, this is it! Second to last chapter!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Kate
Jack’s face fell
ZeldaQueen: - on the floor
upon seeing Jones with his cutlass at my throat. I knew that Jones wouldn’t hurt me; he’d been given plenty of opportunities to kill me in the past, and yet he had not taken advantage of a single one of them.
ZeldaQueen: Because you’re the Mary Sue. If there was any semblance of canon here, he’d just kill you because of how annoying you were
“Jack!” I shouted. “It’s a bluff!”
“Is it now?” Jones hissed in my ear, his grip tightening. I noticed that it was not painful, but rather…protective. He did not even put the blade closer to my throat.
ZeldaQueen: *beats head on wall*
“If you wanted to kill me,” I whispered, “you would have done it already.”
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, don’t remind me
“Oh, no, lass. I do want to kill you; I just wanted your husband to be there to see it.”
ZeldaQueen: Then do it! Jack’s right there!
Anger and fright surged through me, and I whirled around, catching Jones off guard.
ZeldaQueen: Great. Why didn’t you do this earlier? Or during one of the five million other times you were kidnapped by him?
I withdrew my own swordd lunged to attack, but he skillfully blocked my attack.
ZeldaQueen: And he didn’t take her weapons? What the devil?
Oh wait, she withdrew her "swordd" and not her "sword". Must be something entirely different. My mistake
I struggled to break the barricade of his cutlass, but I was caught off guard when he grabbed me with his clawed hand and forced me to the deck, nearly crushing my hand in its painful grip.
ZeldaQueen: I guess the rest of the crew is just farting around and watching all of this
“Try that again,” he hissed, “I dare you.”
ZeldaQueen: *chanting* Do it! Do it! Do it!
As I was about to reply, a sudden roar ripped through the hot afternoon; the Pearl had opened fire.
“Let them taste the triple guns!” cried Jones to his crew.
The crew cheered in response.
ZeldaQueen: *cheers along* Anything to move along the little plot there is!
“No!” I screamed pleadingly.
Jones looked down at me. “This is war, Kate. There’s no point in trying to get out of it.”
ZeldaQueen: Same for Mary Sues. There’s no point in trying to escape ‘em. *waves spork* That’s why straight-out assault works much better! *evil grin*
He then released me and made his way to the helm to begin barking orders. I rose shakily to my feet, and then hurried off to the rigging; the Pearl was still close enough to jump to.
ZeldaQueen: WHAT? AGAIN? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? THESE ARE THE WORST PIRATES I’VE EVER SEEN!!! CAN’T THEY REMEMBER TO KEEP TRACK OF HER?
After climbing to the top of the mast, I carefully made my way across the canvas until reaching the very edge. I inhaled deeply, and jumped.
ZeldaQueen: Unfortunately she misjudged the distance, fell into the ocean, and drowned. “Who was that?” asked Jack. When none of the crew could supply an answer, he figured it was the latest Mary Sue and returned to the battle
I felt as if I were soaring above the melee as I looked down; at the last possible moment,
ZeldaQueen: And now she’s ripping off The Quest for Camelot. Lovely
I grabbed a stray rope hanging from the Pearl’s main sail. I descended from the rope and landed on my feet at the helm.
“Jack!”
ZeldaQueen: The monkey?
Jack turned and hurried up the stairs towards me.
ZeldaQueen: Curses!
“Kate, are you all right?” he asked as he embraced me.
“I’m fine,” I answered breathlessly.
ZeldaQueen: (Jack) “Excellent!” *stabs her*
The cannon fire was still roaring viciously around us, and this seemed to impel Jack to tighten his embrace around me protectively.
ZeldaQueen: And not, you know, turn his attention to the battle and defend his precious Pearl?
“He didn’t hurt you?”
“No, love.”
ZeldaQueen: Dude, there’s a battle going on! Stop coddling her and get on with it!
He made to reply, but was silenced when a violent shockwave erupted through the ship. The jar, which had been resting on the railing, suddenly fell to the deck. Jack hurried down the stairs, with me following suit, and searched through the sand.
“Where’s the heart?” I gasped.
ZeldaQueen: You know, if you hadn’t been too busy being kidnapped, you might have noticed Norrington stealing it
Jack turned, dismayed, and made to reply, but another shockwave sent me down the last two steps and into Jack’s arms.
ZeldaQueen: How contrived
“It’s the Kraken!” I cried.
Jack’s eyes widened and he hurried up to the helm again. “All hands to cannons! All hands to cannons!”
ZeldaQueen: Is this supposed to be epic? Because I’m ten seconds from falling asleep
I hurried up to the helm and looked down at the water below; it was calm, yet I knew what lay beneath.
“Kate, get away from the rail!” Jack exclaimed, grabbing my arm and pulling me to his side.
ZeldaQueen: You know, she faced the Kraken before. She ought to know how the attack patterns work. Will learned from that attack, which was how he knew to warn Elizabeth away from the side.
You know, Will and Elizabeth? The two who are virtually nonexistent right now and for all we know were left on that island?
“Ready to fire, sir!” Gibbs called.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, fire. Preferably, fire the Mary Sue into the Kraken’s gaping maw
Jack turned to me. “Kate, go below deck and wait for my signal to give the order.”
I nodded and hurried down the stairs below deck. Most of the crew had taken position at the cannons; they were prepared to fire. I stood on the upper half of the steps, keeping my eye on Jack to await his signal. His hand was raised; everything was deathly still in anticipation.
I could hear the slithering of tentacles as they crept up the side of the ship; my eyes widened as the leviathan’s tentacles came into view.
“Jack,” I called.
He didn’t lower his hand. The tentacles crept further.
“Jack,” I called again. Still, he didn’t give his signal.
The tentacles had reached the upper deck now.
“Jack!” I screamed.
He lowered his hand abruptly. “Fire all!”
ZeldaQueen: *stares*
SHE JUST STOLE ONE OF ELIZABETH’S MOMENTS! OH MY FUCKING GOD, I HATE HER!
*quivers with rage* I am totally writing a fic where Will and Elizabeth kill her, or at least kick her ass soundly
“Fire!” I screamed at the crew.
ZeldaQueen: Following her orders, the crew promptly set her aflame. There was much rejoicing
The cannons roared to life as they fired at the leviathan. A sickening groan erupted from the water as the stench of scorched flesh erupted through the ship. The leviathan withdrew into the depths.
ZeldaQueen: You know, it’s just bad writing to use the word “leviathan” so close together
The crew cheered, but I did not. I hurried up the stairs again to find Jack looking pleased with himself.
“Jack,” I cried as I came to the helm again, “it’s not finished! We didn’t kill it!”
“Of course we did. It drew back.”
“We didn’t kill the beast,” I said breathlessly. “We just made it angry.”
ZeldaQueen: You know, I’d imagine that Jack would know that he didn’t kill it. He seems to know full well what the Kraken is capable of.
Actually, I do wonder how Jack knew the patterns of the Kraken’s attack and Kate did not, even though she was the one who was in one of those attacks before, yet Kate knows how tough the Kraken is and Jack does not even though Jack is the one who knows all of the tales
Suddenly the beast burst forth from the water with unabashed fury, tentacles screaming about the deck as the crew withdrew cutlasses, swords, pistols, and rifles, fighting desperately and in vain against the leviathan.
Jack hurried from the helm and disappeared into the melee.
“Jack!” I called after him.
ZeldaQueen: (Sue) “Aren’t you going to have sex with me?”
I dashed down the flight of stairs from the helm, ducking to avoid a tentacle that had slithered into my path. I screamed as another wrapped tightly about my waist just as Jack emerged from below.
“Kate!” he screamed.
ZeldaQueen: (Jack) “Again? Damn it woman, can’t you go for two seconds without being wrapped in those tentacles?”
I noticed that a fishing net full of rum barrels had been raised from below deck. Jack grabbed a rifle and hurried to the helm again to avoid the chaos on deck.
ZeldaQueen: You know, I do believe that it was Will’s idea to load the rum. Jack probably would have died sooner than willingly use his rum for this. Suck it, Gethesemane
He raised the rifle, aiming it at the barrels. The leviathan still had me in its grip as I struggled uselessly;
ZeldaQueen: As per usual
I could see the war on the blood-soaked deck, which was littered with sickening carnage.
ZeldaQueen: Carnage which you did absolutely nothing to help with. For all of your talk of what a great pirate you are, you’re damned useless
“Jack!” I cried as the tentacle drew me back.
ZeldaQueen: I like to think that Jack is trying to kill the Sue in the explosion as well
Suddenly he fired the rifle; a moment later, the barrels exploded; I turned my head as the flaming wreckage flew towards the tentacle that still grasped me. The leviathan squealed as a flaming barrel flew through its tentacle, searing it in the process.
ZeldaQueen: And Kate wasn’t burned also?
Gethesemane, darling, you don’t know how explosions work, do you? If the thing wrapped around Kate’s waist is getting painfully burned, so is she
Suddenly the grip loosened, and I felt myself falling towards the deck; I could hear myself screaming above the cries of the crew and beast.
Jack was able to catch me before I hit the deck, and he held me protectively against him as the leviathan sank beneath the waves again.
ZeldaQueen: The rest of the crew could go hang, it looks
Gibbs hurried towards us. “Orders, sir!”
Jack threw his rifle aside. “Abandon ship.”
“But Jack…” I said softly. “What about the Pearl?”
“She’s only a ship, darling,” he replied heavily.
ZeldaQueen: You know, this was very moving in the movie, where it was clear that the Pearl was the thing he loved most in all of the world. In this, where Kate is his Twuwest of Luvs? It makes no sense
The words sent tears to my eyes; all around us the crew scurried to the longboats, yet I stayed at Jack’s side. If this was the end, it was the end for both of us.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, yes, you’re very selfless. Now quit showing off, we all know you won’t die
“Get on the boat, Kate,” he ordered, looking at me with unveiled sadness.
“No. No, I’m not leaving you,” I countered, clinging to him. “I’ll go down with you.”
“Get on the boat.”
“No!”
“Get on the damn boat!” he shouted.
ZeldaQueen: (Jack) “Woman, if you think I’m spending an eternity being pawed up by you, you’ve got another thing coming!”
“I’m not getting on the boat unless you’re coming with me!”
“I’m not going with you!” he screamed, grabbing my arms. “If you love me, you’ll get on that boat. It’s me the beastie wants, not this ship or you.”
ZeldaQueen: Ha! Little do they know that the Kraken was secretly trained to sniff out Sues
“But…”
He drew me into his arms and kissed me ardently, a kiss I returned full force. When he withdrew, he had tears in his eyes; tears had blurred my own vision.
“I’ll come back for you,” I said softly. “I’ll find you again.”
ZeldaQueen: I love how she instantly caves for sex.
(Kate) “I love you! I’ll never, ever leave you!”
(Jack) *smooch*
(Kate) “Okay, see ‘ya!”
“I love you, Kate.”
“I love you, Jack.”
ZeldaQueen: I hate you all
We kissed again, and he whispered breathlessly, “Go, Kate.”
Reluctantly I left him, hurrying towards the longboat. When I had situated myself in, I turned and watched helplessly as we rowed from the Pearl.
‘
ZeldaQueen: I’m surprised that the bit with Elizabeth handcuffing him to the mast wasn’t kept in. Then Gethesemane could come up with an excuse to demonize her some more. On the other hand, that involves Elizabeth kissing Jack, and we certainly can’t have that.
I also might add that this version sucks. In the movie, I saw Jack’s choice to stay after he uncuffed himself to be a sign of his true character. He was free, he could have jumped off of the ship and to the longboat if he wanted to be selfish and survive. Instead, he bravely stayed behind so the rest of his crew could live.
Of course, things like “characterization” are beyond Gethesemane, so it’s about par for the course
Suddenly, the beast was upon the ship again. A great roar erupted from the leviathan, and I screamed as the tentacles ensared the ship, bringing it down beneath the waves.
“Jack!” I screamed hoarsely. “Jack, no!”
I burst into tears, and I felt the crew lay their hands on me in sympathy. Some were even praying as the water calmed once more.
ZeldaQueen: I‘m praying for you to die
“He’s gone,” Gibbs whispered. “He’s gone, Kate.”
ZeldaQueen: Thank God for small favors
(Author's Note: One chapter left, mates!)
ZeldaQueen: Like I said…
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Onward to:
Chapter 32: Ghosts Of The Abyss
Back to:
Chapter 30: Jones's Attack
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