ZeldaQueen: Right, we've got Link here for one more chapter, so let's make the most of it!
Link: I'm all for it, if it means I can leave sooner
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 24: Blood in the Moonlight
Jack’s Point of View
It wasn’t until late that night that I awoke.
Link: Unbeknownst to him, Kate had drugged his rum and locked him in her torture chamber, handcuffed to the bed. Any efforts to escape lead to a good cobbling
ZeldaQueen: Don’t say that! We don’t want to give her ideas!
Heavy footfalls sounded from above deck, and I immediately turned to find Katherine sleeping beside me.
ZeldaQueen: (Sparrow) “OH GOD NO, I THOUGHT SHE WAS A NIGHTMARE! RUNNNN!”
Thinking that perhaps it was simply one of the crew, I nestled back down into bed.
Link: Wow, this Suethor’s terrible at dead herrings
A moment later, the door burst open, and Kate and I
ZeldaQueen: - did the Hokey-pokey
bolted
Link: - to the wall
upright. A large, intimidating figure entered the room, and in the faint light of the moon I could see the nightmarish creature that was Davy Jones.
ZeldaQueen: IF YOU DON’T STOP USING THE WORD “NIGHTMARISH” OR VARIANTS THEREOF -
Link: Woah there! *restrains*
ZeldaQueen: Fuck this! This is Jack Sparrow speaking and I honestly forgot! I thought Kate was narrating for a minute there! I hate this!
“Jones!” I exclaimed.
Link: “I say, old chap! How like you to break into my bedroom at midnight. Threesome?”
Jones’s lips curled into a wicked smile. “I’ll be collecting my prize, Sparrow.”
ZeldaQueen: Um, don’t you mean your debt? Jones didn’t win a contest, he’s trying to get Jack to uphold his end of a bargain
He reached forward and grabbed Kate’s wrist, jerking her to the floor.
Link: What? Isn’t it Sparrow he wants?
ZeldaQueen: Oh for fuck’s sake, this is clichéd! “Oh yes, let me twirl my mustache and use your beloved, innocent wife as a ‘prize’ to get you to do what I want!”
Link: Oh come on, it’s not that clichéd
ZeldaQueen: *reading old sporking notes* “I won’t have anything to do with you in that manor!”
Link: …I hate you, so very, very much
She covered herself with the blanket, clutching it to her chest in an ill attempt to reserve her modesty.
Link: *is distracted from his anger and laughing*
ZeldaQueen: Modesty? That little slut? Um, Gethesemane? Sweetie? YOUR AVATAR IS A FUCKING PIRATE! PIRATES DON’T CARE ABOUT RESERVING MODESTY!
“No!” she cried as she struggled against him. “Let me go!”
Link: Methinks the Suethor has mistaken her pirate “heroine” with her Edwardian one
“Your husband made a deal, lass,” Jones hissed. “I intend to see that he keeps his side of the bargain.”
ZeldaQueen: Dude, kill him. I honestly don’t care now. Kill her, while you’re at it. He’s a whiny bastard and she’s just horrible
Kate struggled fruitlessly against his grasp. “Let me go, you bastard!”
Link: Why, in the name of Nayru, did you feel the need to bring up Link’s Queen before? Now all I can think of is the fight scene with Dark Link
ZeldaQueen: You’re welcome
Jones produced a small cutlass, its edge glinting menacingly in the moonlight. He yanked Kate’s hair so as to expose her neck and held the blade to her throat. He glared at me maliciously.
Link: *singing* I will have vengeance, I’ll have salvation!
ZeldaQueen: Damn, that reference just keeps cropping up in these sporkings, doesn’t it?
Link: What’re you talking about?
ZeldaQueen: Nothing, nothing
“She dies,” he said harshly, “if you don’t keep your end of the deal.”
ZeldaQueen & Link: *chanting* Do it! Do it! Do it!
“Let her go!” I demanded as I leapt from the
ZeldaQueen: - White Cliffs of Dover
bed.
I had withdrawn my pistol that I had kept beneath my pillow,
Link: Well that’s not safe! What if it went off in the middle of the night
ZeldaQueen: Can’t be any worse than the Sue forcing his other pistol to go off every single night. I’m sorry
Link: No you’re not!
and now aimed it at his empty chest.
ZeldaQueen: Um, sweetie? You know he’s immortal and you know he doesn’t have a heart. That’s not going to work!
He cackled menacingly. “Do you think that a little piece of metal is going to hurt me?”
“It can if it pierces your heart.”
ZeldaQueen: WHICH IS SOMEWHERE ELSE, YOU DUMBASS!
Link: Yeah, this is just embarrassing, having to watch Jack Sparrow reduced to this brainless idiot
ZeldaQueen: *forgets her fury* Wait, how familiar are you with the character? I never did ask
Link: Eh, we used to be old drinking buddies
ZeldaQueen: Really?
Link: Get back to the sporking
Before I could stop him, he quickly drew the blade across her throat and released her hair. She collapsed to the floor, blood erupting violently from the gash across her neck.
ZeldaQueen: Oh my God, thank you this day is beautiful!!!
Link: You know nothing will come of this, right? We’ve still got more chapters left
ZeldaQueen: LEAVE ME TO MY FANTASIES!
I hurried to her, supporting her and cradling her in my arms as I glared harshly up at him. “You’ll pay for this,” I hissed. “I swear you’ll pay for this!”
ZeldaQueen: (Sparrow) “I mean condemning my old friend and only person who stood up to me for mutiny? Stealing the soul of Will? Pfft, why would I care about those things? Killing my bland wife who has absolutely no personality or interesting qualities? DIE!!!”
At once, he disappeared, and I turned my attention to Kate’s limp form.
Link: Woah there, looks like Jack has some fetishes we don’t know about!
ZeldaQueen: I’m just confuzzled by Jones apparent powers of teleportation
For the first time in my life, I felt tears running down my cheeks. I began to sob like a small child, my tears coming to kiss the top of her raven hair.
ZeldaQueen: OH, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!!
Link: Hun, just take a leaf out of my book. Just roll with it. Look at me! I don’t have a care in the world
ZeldaQueen: That’s because you get to skip on out of here!
Link: That too. Tah! *runs from Sporking Chamber, using Pegasus Boots for added speed*
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Chapter 23: The Reunion Return to:
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