My Inner Life: Chapter 18 - Evading The Shadow (Part 1)
ZeldaQueen: This is it, folks! The last hurrah! The home stretch! And to celebrate, we're joined once more by Link, Midna, and Ganondorf! Shall we begin?
Link: Oh yeah!
Midna: Bring it!
Ganondorf: I am ready
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 18: Evading The Shadow
Evading the Shadow
ZeldaQueen: Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of Sues? The Shadow knows!
The trip back was quiet for the most part, although we did worry about Draconians patrolling the skies or Dark Knights on ground patrol. We kept on trails that were mainly concealed, avoiding open areas or staying in one place for too long. We rode all night long, taking turns sleeping on horseback. I was the first one to sleep while Link guided my horse by rope. Then we switched and I took the lead guiding his horse till morning.
Midna: Good to see we're in for a lot of action here
Link: I don't get it. I read the sporking notes for the last chapter and they say that we killed the -
ZeldaQueen: Yes Link, I've been pointing out time and again that you and Jenna - or rather, just Jenna - killed those Draconians quite easily and shouldn't be so bothered
Link: Well excuse me!
We ate dried meat and cheese for breakfast then stopped at the Snake River to wash up and refill our waterskins. We built another makeshift raft and then crossed the treacherous river. Once on the other side, we disposed of the raft and covered up our tracks as so we could not be followed. We rode all the way to the Black Desert without stopping to rest since we were close to Ariakas's border. Once we arrived at the Black Desert, we wrapped our heads with damp rags and gave some water to the horses before crossing the hot desert.
ZeldaQueen: Boring!
The trek across the Black Desert was long and treacherous. The heat was immense and the sand caused my mouth to dry out. I nearly drank all my water before we finally reached the desert border. Once we left the desert behind, we found a small river and stopped to rest and wash up again. Link and I sat under a Hugh burlap tree,
Midna: A what what tree?
Ganondorf: I believe she meant "huge". I cannot say what the burlap ought to be though
ZeldaQueen: Me neither. The closest I can find are those trees that you buy in stores which you stick straight in the ground, the ones with a burlap sack around the roots. So unless Link's Queen is suggesting that the tree was man-planted...
enjoying the shade it provided while we ate bread and cheese. Then feeling my eyes growing heavy, I cuddled into Link's arms and took a well deserved nap.
ZeldaQueen: Lazy tart
Link awoke me a short time later then we resumed heading home. We finally arrived back in Hyrule just before nightfall. The pinkish lavender coated skies reached its hand across Hyrule Field, giving it even more immense beauty. We headed for the drawbridge and crossed it just before it was raised for the night.
Link: Well, we're back in canon but things are just as boring as ever. Win and lose
ZeldaQueen: Don't you mean "loose"?
Link: Shut up
We rode all the way to the first gate where my old friend Perrino was on guard duty. As we approached him he jumped as a look of pure shock crossed his face.
All: SUE FAWNING!
"Oh by the Goddesses…Jenna you and Link have finally returned home! Do you wish to see Princess Zelda tonight?" He asked
All: COMMA!
smiling. "Yes we do Perrino, and with great urgency. We have some very important information." I returned sternly, my face glowing with concern.
Ganondorf: Hrm, those descriptions do not match. So she is concerned but speaks sternly and her face is glowing?
Midna: That's really impressive
"Yes at once then mistress Jenna." Perrino returned as he slid the gate open.
We rode up the dirt path and to the second gate where the guards took our horses to the royal stables then led us inside the castle. We were then led to the throne room where Zelda was waiting, her eyes shimmering with happiness that we returned home safely. But that was all soon to change when we told her about our encounter with Draconians and Dark Knights.
ZeldaQueen: (Zelda) "And you ran around whimpering when you clearly could have defeated them easily? *smacks them* By the Goddesses, if you're Hyrule's only hope, then we're screwed!"
After she heard all the information we possessed, security was upped at every border and along the perimeter near the Black Desert and Gerudo Desert.
Link: Please shut up about the Black Desert. There's no such thing
Word had spread quickly threw
All: "THROUGH"!
Hyrule about Ariakas and his Draconians, causing the citizens of Hyrule to be thrown into a shear panic. People in Kakariko Village had started boarding up windows and bolting doors. More guards were stationed along the border to Death Mountain and just outside the entrance to the village.
Midna: (Townsfolk) "Oh great, it figures. We just get Ganondorf defeated and then a Sue comes along and brings non-canon monsters for us to worry about"
The word had even spread to the Kokiri Forest and Gerudo Valley. The Gerudo's had started upping their defensive training and attack strategies. The Gerudo leaders were pushing all the women from as young as fourteen to enter the harsh Gerudo Training Grounds to hone in on their attack skills. Security had even became tightlipped among their hideout. Only persons possessing the Gerudo's Membership cards were allowed within its walls.
Ganondorf: That is the way it always is! Did she completely miss how difficult it was for Link to sneak in during the game?
Link: Yeah, let's see her rescue three idiot carpenters while fighting off soldiers and breaking out of jail and see if she thinks that what she described is so special
Even the peaceful Kokiri had started training in the arts of attack and defense. Mido had made sure that he would not go without some way of protection for his forest or people. So every Kokiri was equipped with a Kokiri sword and small crossbow. Each were trained under the Know it all brothers whose knowledge in the arts of fighting were widely known.
Link: *headdesk*
ZeldaQueen: To elaborate on that, let me explain to you all something about the Kokiri Sword - first of all, there only is one! And as those of you who've played the game know, Link is the one who has it. Second of all, the Kokiri Sword is a treasure of the forest. So all in all no, every Kokiri could notbe equipped with one. As for the crossbow, there is no evidence whatsoever that there are crossbows in the Kokiri Woods. The children there have slingshots which are mainly good for tripping switches and stunning enemies. There is a bow in the Forest Temple, but Link can only use it when he's an adult. In short, none of those things work. In fact, the game makes it clear that the children have no idea how to fight or defend themselves, as evidenced by the fact that they hid in their homes when monsters invade the woods.
Also, the Know-It-All Brothers don't know fighting. They can tell you how to read maps and use the C-Buttons and things like that. In other words, they're in-game tutorials for control use
The Zora and Goron had even prepared for war. Security was even more tight knitted among them. No one was allowed to enter the Goron City unless they knew the song of the royal family, and the Zoras admitted no one unless they were in direct contact with the royal family.
Link: Again, how is that so different? That's how they were normally in the game
Even as peaceful as these races have been known to be, they became more warlike, steeled themselves for battle with the threat of such a deadly enemy as Ariakas.
Midna: Hear that, Ganondorf? You suck. This Ariakas guy is so much better
Ganondorf: Be quiet, imp
I watched as most of Hyrule prepared for impending doom, their very lives being thrust into a state of turmoil. Fear had spread out among the entire countryside with the knowledge that a Dark Knight on dragon back could attack at any time. Most Hylians who crossed Hyrule Field to get from one place to another, usually did not stay out in the open too long with that kind of threat upon them.
Link: I love how they only notice this threat once the Sue steps onto the scene. It's like "Well, we've had this country next to us for ages and we clearly knew about it all of this time and we've survived Ganondorf, but somehow we just didn't notice that our neighboring lands were being controlled by a dark magician of their own until some random chick warned us"
But there were precautions taken to try to prevent any Draconians form entering Hyrule airspace. Watchtowers were put up along the borders to the Black and Gerudo Deserts.
ZeldaQueen: They also had strip searches and computer checks at the Hyrule Airport
One was even stationed at the infamous Spirit Temple, where Nabooru herself stayed in close contact with.
Ganondorf: Is Nabooru not a Sage? Is she not in possession of the power of Spirit? I would think that she would not need a watchtower to keep an eye on open skies
But even with watchtowers in place, no one could be sure that a Draconian patrol small enough could slip past the watchtowers and cross Hyrule's border.
Midna: Because Hyrule sucks and the Suethor's Original Characters are Just So Great
Plans were put into the works by Princess Zelda to establish an air patrol of some kind. Ground patrol had been covered with Knights on horse back, but with something patrolling the skies above, the threat of Draconians crossing the borders from above might be minimized. But there weren't really any creatures big enough except Dragons and Griffins to carry a full grown human.
Link: What about those bean plants that can fly you into the air? What about the Kokiri Fairies? If all of the races are being all "We Stand United" buddy-buddy and the Great Deku Tree is passing out fairies like crack, why not make some do air patrol?
ZeldaQueen: I'm just torn between anger and amusement at how they're Oh So Planned and Organized for this, but apparently everyone just laughed it off when Ganondorf took control. Because he sucks
Ganondorf: When this is over, I shall find this "Link's Queen" and make her pay
Midna: How so?
Ganondorf: I shall sic Zant onto her
Midna: Well that's harsh
The only other creatures big enough that could fly, were the (25)Unipegs that lived to the south of Hyrule in the (26)Mystic Rainforest.
Link: OH FUCK, NOT MORE ORIGINAL CHARACTER STUFF!
Midna: "Unipegs"? "Mystic Rainforest"?
ZeldaQueen: Let's see what these footnotes give us. "A Unipeg is a cross between a unicorn and a Pegasus. The Unipegs are winged unicorns. These creatures are said to have mystical powers and can only be seen by a person pure of heart. These mystical beauties are also said to live among a magical forest that only appears in the light of the full moon, taking care of the creatures that live among it. If one is lucky to have a Unipeg come to them, it is said that all your dreams and prayers will come true"
Midna: Wow. Sounds exactly like something a five-year-old girl would come up with
Link: Who do you think the author is?
ZeldaQueen: As for the other footnote, "The Mystical Rainforest is a magical forest that only appears in the light of a full moon. This forest is constantly changing shape, making it hard for non-magic users traveling in search of it, to find it. Stories also tell that if one should enter the Magical Rainforest and are not in the ways of magic, may get lost inside the constantly changing forest and never come back out. Though, most people only seek out the forest in search of the mystical creatures called Unipegs in order to have their prayers answered"
Link: Hello thar, Lost Woods rip-off!
ZeldaQueen: I personally was thinking of the Enchanted Forest, from The Enchanted Forest Chronicles. Magic forest that literally changes its shape and layout constantly? Check. Magical creatures with insane powers inside? Check. Scores of idiots who enter or try to enter to find said magical creatures? Check. Non-magic people getting lost or enchanted and possibly never leaving again? Check-a-roonie!
But the only problem was, one; the Unipegs were a peaceful non-war like race. These winged beauties live peacefully among the forest caring for the trees and creatures that live among them.
Ganondorf: I do believe the Unipeg creatures are peaceful
ZeldaQueen: You don't say. PDORD Count = 117
And two; The Unipegs also don't just trust anyone like the Griffins, and usually will run at the sight of a human.
ZeldaQueen: Well no problem there. As we saw last chapter, the whole "don't trust any old person" is thrown to heck by Sues
It was said that the only way to gain a Unipegs trust, is you have to be pure of heart and you must also believe in them.
Link: Clap your hands three times...
If your heart was pure but you didn't believe in the Unipegs, then they wouldn't come to you and Visa Versa.
ZeldaQueen: Hmm, Jenna just might be screwed then. She hasn't been "pure" since the first half of chapter one
Not even that, one would even be so lucky to even find the Mystic Rainforest. This forest is under a magical spell. The properties of the forest keep changing so that one never knows whether they're in the right forest or not. Also the forest only shows itself fully under the light of the full moon.
ZeldaQueen: STOP USING THE WORD FOREST! PDORD Count = 118
Zelda was not too sure if the Unipegs would even want to involve themselves in someone else's problems, let alone engage in a war. But she wanted to try anyway. This was the last hope for establishing air patrol.
Link: I'm sorry, when did the land of Hyrule turn into Germany during World War Two?
Ganondorf: I do believe the Suethor conveniently forgot how many spells and magical flying, sentient beings exist in canon. After all, why does the air patrol need a human to ride it, so long as it is still able to report back?
Midna: Stop being logical, Ganondorf. You'll only be disappointed
So she sent a small convoy along with two diplomats representing Hyrule to the Mystic Rainforest. Two days later, the convoy returned with the Unipeg leader, which came as a surprise to everyone.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, especially since you established that no one can normally find the damned place!
After the Unipeg leader met with Princess Zelda, Link
All: COMMA!
and I, he agreed to help us with our Knights to patrol the skies.
Midna: I give up
Ganondorf: All bow before the might of the Sue. None can resist her power. All shall love her and despair!
The only set back was they steadfastly insisted that they would not engage in combat with any dragons. Since horsemeat was a dragon's favorite meal, the Unipegs would've made a fine delicacy for the dragons. And that was something the Unipeg leader didn't want to risk. He had said their people had been living in secret inside the Rainforest to protect themselves from evil, especially dragons.
ZeldaQueen: Because it's not like the dragons wouldn't chase them down and try to eat them if they don't engage in combat, nope
So the Unipegs prepared themselves for a whole new way of life. Carrying humans on their backs took some time getting used to, especially for their riders. But not too long afterwards, the knights and Unipegs were working hand in hand, patrolling the skies with such marvelous and grace, flying with the swiftness of a (27)Kariee in flight.
ZeldaQueen: More footnote, to distract us from the Sue-ishness! "The Kariee is a small swift predatory bird that lives along the borders of Gerudo Valley. This small desert bird hunts small mice and lizards for food; thought it will occasionally attack larger lizards and other birds. The Kariee is a territorial bird that will attack to defend its territory and any females in it from enemies and other encroaching males"
Link: Hmm. Suethor? Lean in here please, bitch. Let me show you something. See this?
Link: That right there? That's a small, swift, predatory bird that can be found on the borders of the Gerudo Valley. I can assure you that it's territorial and has no problem attacking Hylians such as myself. It is called a guay and is a canon enemy. Now I know you insist that you love me and played the game, but when you go and rape my canon by replacing it with your own abominations, it really does hurt my feelings, so I'd appreciate it if you'd knock it off
Soon there after, Unipegs carrying Hylian Knights on their backs could been seen flying over Hyrule Field. With the knowledge that some of Hyrule's best were patrolling the skies, most Hylians became unafraid to travel across Hyrule Field. Though the dangerous threat still remained, Ariakas with his evil hoard of Dark Knights and Draconians from the Shadow Realm.
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, because as the game clearly showed, the Hylian guards were just Oh-So-Useful when it came to holding off an evil magician with an army of monsters
Ganondorf: And she expects this one to be worse than me. Those people are in royal -
ZeldaQueen: Doo-doo
Ganondorf: Not precisely the word I was looking for, but it will suffice
Weeks passed with no sign of Ariakas and his evil knights. Then one day that was all about to change.
All: DUN-DUN-DUNNNN!!!
Link and I had made one of our usual trips to Lake Hylia with our fairies and son to watch the sunset. Since I was now seven months pregnant, I had to regularly get out for fresh air.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, so she finally remembered that she was pregnant?
Midna: She didn't forget. It just wasn't convenient to the plot before, so she ignored it
Link and I had found our usual spot on top the highest hill facing west, just six feet from the lake's bank, and snuggled down into each other's arms. I held our son in my arms while I breast-fed him.
Ganondorf: Ah yes, for I greatly desired to have the mental image of the whore suckling her spawn
Our fairies had situated themselves at each of our sides, except Aria who landed on my left shoulder while I fed little Link. A cool breeze rustled gently across the area, causing sweet smells of the approaching autumn to brush against our noses. With a gusty sigh, I backed up against Link's chest and snuggled my cheek against his, while his gentle deep blue eyes were transfixed towards the lake.
Midna: Hooray for pointless, boring stuff!
I had always enjoyed these peaceful times with Link.
Link: I don't!
Everything was quiet and serene, no one around to bother us. The threat of Ariakas had slowly started to dissipate, and everyone started to return to their normal lives.
Or so we thought….
All: DUN-DUN-DUNNNN!!!
The sun's last rays started to disappear over the horizon, it's
All: NO APOSTROPHE!
ZeldaQueen: This is like some law of the fanfic universe. If there's the possibility for a spelling or grammar mistake, this Suethor will make it
golden orange lavender rays stretched its reach over the lake, causing it to glisten like small diamonds. I watched in awe like I always have done as the reddish orange ball
Link: You mean the sun?
ZeldaQueen: Let's not jump to conclusions
disappeared over the horizon giving way to the deep blue color of the approaching night.
Midna: I would describe the night sky as "navy" or "black"
Link: Don't be silly. That's not nearly fancy enough
Small white lights started to line the night sky as Link and I got up and brushed ourselves off.
Ganondorf: The mind boggles to wonder what they were brushing off. Perhaps they were engaging in some sexual fetish involving a cheese grater
Midna: I really don't want to know where you picked up the idea of that one
Ganondorf: I had, but an eternity in the Dark Realm and only the ability to conjure up small, metallic objects -
Link: TO MUCH INFORMATION!
I wrapped our son in a tan wool blanket and we proceeded to gather the horses and head home, when I felt a sudden whoosh behind me.
ZeldaQueen: It's the anti-Sue assassins! We're saved!
I swiftly turned around towards the lake. Shadows of dancing objects in the wind moved across the water's surface, but I saw nothing that caused that sudden rush of cold wind behind me.
ZeldaQueen: Zoinks! I wonder what this could be?
I turned back around wearily and walked over to my horse. I patted the horse gently on the neck then proceeded to fasten Link jr into his small saddle. After he was secured on his saddle I mounted my mare and moved over to Link who had just finished fixing his saddlebags. But as I waited for Link to mount his stallion, I could not help but feeling as if we were being watched.
Midna: Hmm, I wonder if this will be showing up to bite them later
Link: Serves them right, I say! If I had been in Hyrule when it was being attacked or preparing for war, I'd be off getting ready for battle! Maybe I'd re-invade that Griffin land to head off the evil magician dude. I certainly wouldn't be having a sit by Lake Hylia!
After Link mounted his horse, I moved in closer to him so I was directly next to his ear.
"Link, I don't know if you feel it too, but do you feel as if we're being watched?" I asked him barely audible, while my eyes watched nervously forward.
Ganondorf: "Watched nervously forward"?
Midna: "Forward" is clearly a dance term. The Sue is watching someone named Nervously dance the forward step
ZeldaQueen: I get it. They're being watched. PDORD Count = 119
Link paused for a moment then turned to face me. "Are your
Link: Oh come on! There isn't even supposed to be an "r' in there!
sure Jenna? I don't sense anything of that stature.
ZeldaQueen: *headdesk*
Midna: Let's see, "stature" refers to the height, weight, and general build of an object. So for him to say he didn't sense anything "of that stature" would mean that Jenna would already have had to have seen something and described the build of it to him. And since she didn't actually see anything yet...
Maybe you're just nervous about something." Link said softly and he placed a warm hand against my cheek. "I don't know. I cannot help but feel as if something is watching me, staring at me with evil eyes.
Link: *sings* Evil eyes! They're watching you! They see your ev-ery move!
I don't know about you, but I'm anxious to leave and go home."
Midna: Hmph, some "protector of Hyrule" she is. First sign of danger, she whimpers and scurries home
"I still think that you're just worried about something, but if you want to leave my love then we will."
Link: Yes, I'd be happy to leave my "love" for you
ZeldaQueen: Um, no freaking DUH she's worried about something! Apparently Captain Obvious has moved to Hyrule
Ganondorf: Ah yes, they fear that they are on the brink of war, worry that an evil sorcerer will be targeting them, and realize that strange monsters may be entering the kingdom, yet they see fit to dismiss suspicions of being followed or watched. Truly, they are shining hope for the future of Hyrule
Link cupped his other hand on my other cheek and pulled my face close to his. "But to make you feel better love, I will give you a nice hot sponge bath when we get home." Link said soothingly as he inclined his lips to mine.
Link: Yes, a nice hot sponge bath in acid
ZeldaQueen: Domestic Love-Slave Man makes yet another appearance
After a minute of peaceful eternity, I looked deeply into his eyes.
Midna: Well that was sappy
Link: What does that even mean?
"You always know how to make me feel better. And that's one of the reasons why I married you." I said softly against his lips, then inclined to them again.
Link: Know how to make her feel better? Is that what they're calling it now?
ZeldaQueen: What are the other reasons she married him?
Ganondorf: She was in need of a food supply and he was able to provide her with wealth and fame and prestige
The moments we spent locked in each other's kiss seemed to tick to an eternity of pure bliss as our small soft kisses soon gave way to deeper more passionate kisses, and as we held the blissful position I suddenly felt warm and peaceful inside. The feelings of being watch soon left my body and opened up to ones of pleasure.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, this is Bella Swan all over again. "Say what? Something potentially bad might be going on? You want to make out with me? Sure! What potentially bad thing were we talking about before?"
Ganondorf: I find her claims to be able to save and protect Hyrule highly suspect
Then we drew apart and I took Link's hand and nuzzled my cheek into his palm. "I don't know what came over me. I suddenly feel foolish for thinking that something was watching me when it must have all been a dream." I said, feeling slightly embarrassed.
ZeldaQueen: Jesus Christ, Stephenie Meyer did write this! Don't tell me she didn't! Seriously, dead herring, right there! Of course, we keep going on about how nothing's watching them, nothing at all and the "heroine" feels just so embarrassed for thinking there was because her Strong Man told her it was silly! And I'm sure we all know what's going to come up next!
Link took his hand, lowered it under my chin and lifted my head up until our eyes met again. "I don't think your foolish my love, in fact, your
All: APOSTROPHE-R-E!
more then that. Your
All: APOSTREPHE-R-E!
still the most marvelous, sweet, beautiful women I feel in love with. And it's those reasons why you should not feel foolish."
All: *stare and then burst out laughing*
Link: Well if that isn't sappy!
Midna: Jenna? "Marvelous, sweet, beautiful"?
Ganondorf: And she's also "women" It appears that there's more than one of her!
ZeldaQueen: No Link, there are plenty of reasons that Jenna should feel foolish, chief among them the fact that she has all of the brains of a turnip. But hey, I notice that you didn't put "intelligent" on that list, so I guess you like 'em dumb. Not to mention that this sounds exactly like Edward going on about the many "virtues" of Bella Swan! Not to mention saying that she's "still" all of those things! She never had any of those traits to begin with! She only tries for marvelous by dumbing down everyone else, which isn't impressive at all. She's definitely not sweet. And as for beautiful - well we never hear how she looks (besides one mention of her "brown eyes" and her wardrobe). So how can we judge?
Link lowered his face and cupped his hands around my face again, drawling me closer until our noses were just barely touching. "But if it would make you feel better sweet love, we should start heading home now. I think our son needs to get out of this night air and into bed."
Link: Oh yeah, their spawn. I forgot about him
Inclining forward, I softly placed a light kiss against his lips. "You're right my love, I would favor that we get home and get our son to bed.
ZeldaQueen: Please stop trying to sound fancy. You suck at it
I'm also waiting in anxiety to get that sponge bath you promised me." I said seductively, my eyes twinkling with a certain desire.
All: HORNINESS ALERT!
Link: For the love of the Triforce, where is that tart's "Off" switch? The country's at war and all she can think about is sex? Goddesses above is she selfish!
"As you wish." Link returned with a broad grin.
ZeldaQueen: Weasle,y my love!
Midna: Not even close
"You're my Queen." He added teasingly, then turned his horse towards the entrance to the lake and booted the horse in the legs, taking off at a gallop.
ZeldaQueen: Har har, Suethor, I see what you did thar
Link: Nice to know that she's so subtle about her secret fantasies
Ganodorf: Why? What is the Suethor's name?
ZeldaQueen: Link's Queen
Midna: *laughs*
With a gusty sigh and a soft smile, I gestured for our fairies to follow then booted my horse as well and followed Link's path.
Midna: Sounds like a line from a children's book
After we arrived home, we stabled the horses, I put our son to bed then joined Link the tub room. When I got there, he had the tub already filled with hot water and (28)laxiousflower.
Link: To take our minds off of this idiocy, what is the footnote indicated?
ZeldaQueen: Right. "Laxiousflowers are small purple flowers with herbal powers. These small flowers are only found in the forest and are mainly dried then crushed into a power to use in healing potions or into a liquid for use in herbal tub bathes. When the vapors are breathed in, the medicine of the flower helps to relieve pain and relax tense sore muscles. It is also said that the scent of these flowers occasionally causes seductiveness', causing one to become easily aroused. Sometimes the vapors from these flowers are used to help a couple relax during intercourse, thus helping the couple experience longer intense periods of lovemaking. aphrodisiac ". Because that's what those two need - longer bouts of lovemaking
Taking my hand in his, he removed my robe and gently lifted me into the tub. Then I felt his broad hands against my shoulders as he begun to firmly massage them. As his gentle hands worked my sore tired muscles, and the soothing vapors of the laxiousflower penetrated my nose, I began to feel relaxed, my body loosened up, and Link's soft and gentle words begun to run threw my mind. I felt my eyes slowly close as the good feeling of being pampered caused me to drift into a state of pure bliss.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, you'd know about feeling good from being pampered, wouldn't you? That's all that's happened to you for this entire fic!
I just sat there while Link massaged me
All: COMMA!
then bathed my body, removing the dust and dirt I picked up while caring for our house. But as my pregnancy progressed, chores were getting harder and more tiring to do.
Ganondorf: I do believe that is one of the worst transitions I have ever heard
So I decided that rather then take heat from Link from taking on overbearing responsibilities, I'd let him handle most of the housework like he did before during my first pregnancy, until after I gave birth. So I mentally decided that from that day forward until I had our second child, I would take it easy and relax.
Midna: Oh yes, of course! You're only giving up chores and housework because Link insists!
ZeldaQueen: Blatant author fantasies ahoy!
After Link finished bathing me, he helped me out of the tub and handed me my light blue halter gown. I took it gently from him and slid it down over my body. The dress was snug and semi tight fitting, so it left nothing to the imagination
ZeldaQueen: After reading Hogwarts Exposed, I never want to see that phrase again
and was one of Link's favorite things to have me wear even though my belly stuck out.
Midna: So he likes her to dress up like a prostitute for him. Lovely
Link: You dress up pretty provocatively
Midna: But not for a guy's pleasure
ZeldaQueen: What I don't understand is why Link would care that her belly's sticking out. She's pregnant, it's not like it's her fault...well sort of
After his eyes looked me over with a lingering desire, he decided to push aside the feelings for now and took me by the hand and led me down stairs.
Ganondorf: (Link) "I'll just rape you later"
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ZeldaQueen: And the stupid burns so much that we're going to have to take a short break. Only a little more is left though!
Onward to: Chapter 18: Evading The Shadow (Part 2)
Back to: Chapter 17: A New Friend (Part 4)
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