Breaking Dawn: Chapter 39 - The Happily Ever After
Projection Room Voices: Well, you've done it. Once you finish this sporking, you'll have finished assessing Breaking Dawn. How do you feel?
ZeldaQueen: *has numerous wires stuck to her arms and head and is gurgling incoherently*
Projection Room Voices: We'll take that as a "good". Well, it's the last chapter so we'll assume you don't need any prepping. Good luck! Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 39: The Happily Ever After
ZeldaQueen: Huh...? Wah - GOD DAMN YOU MEYER, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE AUDACITY TO TITLE YOUR LAST CHAPTER LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A FAIRY TALE BOOK? I SWEAR, YOU'VE GOT TO BE THE ONLY PERSON TO MAKE ME FOAM AT THE MOUTH WITH THE MENTION OF "HAPPILY EVER AF" - *is electrocuted* AUGH!!!
God! *to viewers* Hello friends, I just woke up so I'm kind of out of it. The M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. physicians decided that it was bad for my health to get so stressed, so they fixed me up with this device that will remind me via electrodes if my blood pressure is getting into a "No-No" zone.
On an off-topic note, before we begin, I do believe that it is das_mervin's birthday, so everyone viewing this must wish her well. If you don't, then we'll get our field agents to fish Rose Potter out of the Plot Hole she was sucked into and send her naked behind after you.
So yeah. This is the last chapter and I can't really see much going on here so smooth sailing? Please?
Aw man, Meyer just won't cut me a break. Literally the first sentence in this chapter is from Edward, saying "So it was a combination of things there at the end, but what it really boiled down to was…Bella". I have a feeling that this will be a trend for this chapter. We find out that it is an unspecified amount of time after the confrontation and there are only two more guests remaining in the Cullen household. The Romanian vampires were of course disappointed about the lack of fighting that went on (thank you for speaking for us thar!) and we are told that they were only consoled by the Volturi's cowardice. Didn't they already know the Volturi were cowards? Ah well. Benjamin and Tia left along with Peter and Charlotte and the Amazons left soon after, although Zafrina asked for Renesmee to be brought to visit. Because it's such a good idea to bring a child to the jungles of South America. In all seriousness though, the implied friendship between Zafrina and Renesmee was kind of enjoyable, but there was virtually nothing to it besides the Amazon carrying the baby around and showing her illusions. Half of that every other vampire was doing!
The Irish vampires also head out and Siobhan is sarcastic about Carlisle still believing that her "power" had anything to do with the outcome (I kind of like her, at least someone's noticing how ridiculous some of these "powers" are"). She warns them that the Volturi will be back. DUH-DUH-DUHHHHHH!!!! The Cullens figure though that any attempts to pick them off separately will fail thanks to Alice's visions (which of course haven't ever been faulty or flawed before - don't these idiots remember Eclipse?) and they go on about how when the day comes, they will stand united and perhaps free the vampire world of the tyranny of the Volturi. *dangerously* Meyer, I am not taking that bait. You used the "Don't Tread On Me" card for the ENTIRE CLIMAX OF THIS BOOK AND - OH SHI - *is electrocuted* AUGH!
Oh, and Carlisle is kind enough to remind them to find Alistar and let him know it's safe to come out of hiding. I still am angry at Meyer for getting rid of him.
And - oh this is lovely! You all remember Irina and how she was killed in the last chapter or so? No? I don't blame you if you don't, everyone seemed to have forgotten about it. Well, here's the last and only other mention it gets
"The Denalis were the last to leave, Garrett with them-as he would be from now on, I was fairly sure. The atmosphere of celebration was too much for Tanya and Kate. They needed time to grieve for their lost sister."
ZeldaQueen: Notice, dear folks, that Bella saw fit to mention first how Garrett would be with them. Because finding one's True Love is far more important than one's brutally murdered sibling! And that's it - nine words dedicated to the death of Irina. And notice that there's not any sympathy or sorrow for her, oh no. It's only "Oh, Tanya and Kate feel bad because their sister died, but they'll get over it". Bella doesn't even spare a thought or Irina's death! And it's even more insulting because Irina was the only casualty in the confrontation! It's not like there were masses of deaths and thus she was forgotten! What's wrong Bella, couldn't you be bothered to grieve for the only person who died to save your freaking family??? *machine beeps* I'm calm! I'm calm!
So the only guests left are Huilen and Nahuel. Edward has just finished explaining what all had been going on and proceeds to comment that the Volturi surely would have gone ahead with their original plan if they weren't terrified of Bella. I...*holds head* nothing you guys wouldn't have heard before, of course Bella has the Sue power that scares everyone away, GOD I hate her! Bella of course can't believe that little old her was the reason the Volturi decided to leave and Edward tells her (in a kinder way) that she's being an idiot and that her ability to block out powers actually put the Volturi at a disadvantage and thus freaked them out. THEN WHY - ack, then why were you all so freaked out about dying at that interlude??? And Edward adds that "I'm sure our numbers would have been pretty severely decimated, but they were sure that theirs would be, too. There was even a good possibility that they would lose". No Edward, I don't believe you. Mervin was right, you had all of the powers and the Volturi didn't. The only advantage the Volturi would have had was physical combat experience and even that they were probably inferior at. HOW ON EARTH WOULD YOU HAVE BEN "DECIMATED"? *is electrocuted but keeps going*
Edward also actually tells us some more about the "Children of the Moon" werewolves and once again Meyer, could you have told us all of this before the last chapter of the book? Apparently the CotM werewolves never travel in packs, which confused the Volturi (still doesn't explain how Aro knew about the spirit animal thing) and do transform under the full moon. Silver bullets don't work and are "one of those myths to make humans feel like they had a sporting chance". Because humans are all inferior and can't survive without another supernatural race protecting them.
And what do you know, Bella actually channels me for a second and asks why Edward never bothered to tell her this before. Why didn't he? Because "“It never came up". Apparently he didn't think she'd find it interesting to hear about after learning that her best friend turned into a wolf. So Bella's only allowed to know about supernatural stuff when it's trying to kill her then?
Alice is all perky and giggly and Bella is annoyed with her for a change, though in this case she's angry at Alice for running off and leaving them to all think they were going to die. Thank you Bella, now if you'd just throttle Alice, I'd be most happy. Apparently complete and utter death was one of the possible outcomes for the situation, so the J. Jenks thing was back-up. In other words, it was utterly useless and pointless and just served as a filler. Bella then asks why Alice didn't bother to tell her that there was hope even if Edward couldn't know (thanks again Bella - this is odd!) and the answer is apparently that Bella was not a good actress and thus would have given it all away. *scratches head* Excuse me? How would Bella knowing a potentially hopeful future cause problems like that? Wouldn't Edward and Aro just assume that she was optimistic or hopeful anyway? I guess I'm using Normal Person Logic here. Bella's never optimistic or hopeful.
Bella continues to be annoyed with Alice and Alice diverts this by whining about how hard she had it, looking for a half-vampire in South America (TRY EUROPE, I HEAR THERE'S A TON!!!), plus sending witnesses over, plus keeping her eyes open for any instructions Bella left. Alice also asks what was supposed to be in Rio. HA HA! Bella eventually gives in and agrees that Alice had it hard and Alice tells Bella to just be satisfied with "being the superhero of the
day". Dude, nothing happened! If anything, Alice was the superhero for providing the deus ex machina! Yes, I know Bella did the shield which would have been a huge asset in battle, BUT THERE WAS NO BATTLE *quickly quiets as machine bleeps*
Oh, and Bella notices Nahuel is staring at either her or Renesmee an awful lot. She realizes that he must have noticed that Renesmee is the only half-vampire who isn't related to him and hopes that Jacob doesn't figure this out.
...Meyer, I swear if you use this to set up some sort of sequel love triangle, I will not stop until I have my revenge.
Everyone's all exhausted by now and Jacob decides to go home for a change. We get mention of his dad, who is probably all freaked out for all we know (like Jake cares). Before heading back to the cottage, Bella asks Jasper why J. Jenks was so freaked out by the Cullen family name. Jasper replies that he knew that people like Jenks were better motivated by fear than money. Bella decides to take over contact with Jenks, because of course she's a Sue who fixes everything.
On the way to their home, Edward brings up the fact that Jacob now knows that Renesmee will essentially be of marriageable age in only seven years. Bella insists that "He doesn't see her that way. He's not in a hurry for her to grow
up. He just wants her to be happy". Bull, I say!!! I remind you all about that promise ring-equivalent! I remind you of how every other imprinted wolf has ultimate intentions for their imprintees! I'd rant more, but I'm exhausted and it's not really anything we haven't heard before. Edward goes on about what great self-control Jacob has and how Renesmee could do worse. You mean like a clone of Adolph Hitler? A white supremacist? Adam Sandler? Oh, and Edward isn't clueless to the implied affections of Nahuel. Bella sighs and comments that she wishes he wouldn't stare at Renesmee so much, since it's weird. I'm sorry folks, hold the phone...
EXCUSE ME?????????
*suffers a massive electric shock and falls out of seat*
So let me get this straight, Bella? You're perfectly alright with Jacob hovering over Renesmee twenty-four, seven - Jacob who has spent the previous books lusting after you and completely hating the vampires and all associated with them - and you're bothered that Nahuel is staring. Nahuel, who has never seen a half-human vampire outside of his family before and has no previous ties and thus has good reason to stare.
*drags herself back into chair*
That's not even mentioning how your courtship with your darling husband basically was made up entirely of staring!!!
Continuing on, we can't finish without a little more Sue-praising, so Edward explains to Bella that Nahuel was actually staring at her. Why? Because somehow seeing that Bella survived the childbirth and how Renesmee is with a happy family (allegedly happy I guess) causes Nahuel to no longer consider himself the evil being he felt he was and to forgive himself. I honestly don't know how that works. I'd think that seeing that it's possible for his mother to have survived since Bella did would have made him feel worse, since he still had to deal with his mother's death. Oh well!
And this is disgusting
"I smiled for Nahuel's happiness and then thought that today belonged to happiness. Though Irina's sacrifice was a dark shadow against the white light, keeping the moment from perfection, the joy was impossible to deny. The life I'd fought for was safe again. My family was reunited. My daughter had a beautiful future stretching out endlessly in front of her. Tomorrow I would go see my father; he would see that the fear in my eyes had been replaced with joy, and he would be happy, too. Suddenly, I was sure that I wouldn't find him there alone. I hadn't been as observant as I might have been in the last few weeks, but in this moment it was like I'd known all along. Sue would be with Charlie-the werewolves' mom with the vampire's dad-and he wouldn't be alone anymore. I smiled widely at this new insight"
ZeldaQueen: Sorry about that folks, we get one last mention of Irina. Bella spares a thought for her only because her death caused an imperfection to the day. HOW WONDERFUL YOU FROZEN BITCH!!!!! OH LOOK, THE MACHINE IS ELECTROCUTING ME, I DON'T CARE I WILL GO AT YOU AND YOUR STUPID SPARKLY HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER WITH A CHISEL AND HAMMER AND PUT AN END TO YOU YAAAAAAAAAGH!
*machine explodes*
Projection Room Voices: Do you have any idea of how much that cost?
ZeldaQueen: Shut up! I'm finishing this as fast as I can! Oh, but also that quote? How lovely that Meyer found time to pair off one last pair of singles! I'm surprised, usually in the Meyerverse, people who give up on their True Loves and start seeing other people are Evil and Shallow!
Renesmee is put to bed, Bella tosses Aro's necklace in the corner, and she and Edward start to get ready for sexy time. All of a sudden though, Bella calls for a halt. As Edward watches in befuddlement, she starts to concentrate and removes her mind shield. Yes folks, her one advantage over Edward. Her one bit of privacy which made her interesting to him. And she takes it down. Just so he won't be inconvenienced and unable to read her thoughts. Heaven forbid anything of hers be kept private! And we end with them having un-passionate love of course, were you expecting any differently? I'm done, good day!
*throws Letters From The Future into the Time Travel Mailbox to the times in the past when they were to be received*
ZeldaQueen: There! It's done, it's over, I'm through! I'll be following up with an overall assessment shortly. Now unhook me from this, it's smoking and starting to get grease on me.
Projection Room Voices: You did well. We've prepared you ravioli for when you're done.
ZeldaQueen: Woot! *to viewers* Thanks for sticking around and giving so much support, everyone! We finally made it through though! Just Meyer's acknowledgments and an overall assessment left and I wash my hands of this insanity.
Speaking of which, it seems that Meyer will be releasing another Twilight story. It's the one she promised, from the point of view of Bree of Eclipse. At least she's putting it online for free in June. *sharpens spork* The article also alludes to a guide to the Twilight Universe. God save us...
Off topic note: to everyone viewing this, I have a bit of a favor to ask - I have a fanfiction I want to spork after this, but there are about three sex scenes in it. I'm not sure how bad they rate compared to other fanfics like Hogwarts Exposed, but I can't even read these. They're the usual author self-insert having sex with her favorite canon character. If anyone would be willing to spork the sex scenes for me (even just one of them) I would be eternally grateful and owe you big time!
Onward to: Acknowledgments
Back to: Chapter 38: Power
Return to: Table of Contents
ZeldaQueen: *has numerous wires stuck to her arms and head and is gurgling incoherently*
Projection Room Voices: We'll take that as a "good". Well, it's the last chapter so we'll assume you don't need any prepping. Good luck! Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 39: The Happily Ever After
ZeldaQueen: Huh...? Wah - GOD DAMN YOU MEYER, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE AUDACITY TO TITLE YOUR LAST CHAPTER LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A FAIRY TALE BOOK? I SWEAR, YOU'VE GOT TO BE THE ONLY PERSON TO MAKE ME FOAM AT THE MOUTH WITH THE MENTION OF "HAPPILY EVER AF" - *is electrocuted* AUGH!!!
God! *to viewers* Hello friends, I just woke up so I'm kind of out of it. The M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. physicians decided that it was bad for my health to get so stressed, so they fixed me up with this device that will remind me via electrodes if my blood pressure is getting into a "No-No" zone.
On an off-topic note, before we begin, I do believe that it is das_mervin's birthday, so everyone viewing this must wish her well. If you don't, then we'll get our field agents to fish Rose Potter out of the Plot Hole she was sucked into and send her naked behind after you.
So yeah. This is the last chapter and I can't really see much going on here so smooth sailing? Please?
Aw man, Meyer just won't cut me a break. Literally the first sentence in this chapter is from Edward, saying "So it was a combination of things there at the end, but what it really boiled down to was…Bella". I have a feeling that this will be a trend for this chapter. We find out that it is an unspecified amount of time after the confrontation and there are only two more guests remaining in the Cullen household. The Romanian vampires were of course disappointed about the lack of fighting that went on (thank you for speaking for us thar!) and we are told that they were only consoled by the Volturi's cowardice. Didn't they already know the Volturi were cowards? Ah well. Benjamin and Tia left along with Peter and Charlotte and the Amazons left soon after, although Zafrina asked for Renesmee to be brought to visit. Because it's such a good idea to bring a child to the jungles of South America. In all seriousness though, the implied friendship between Zafrina and Renesmee was kind of enjoyable, but there was virtually nothing to it besides the Amazon carrying the baby around and showing her illusions. Half of that every other vampire was doing!
The Irish vampires also head out and Siobhan is sarcastic about Carlisle still believing that her "power" had anything to do with the outcome (I kind of like her, at least someone's noticing how ridiculous some of these "powers" are"). She warns them that the Volturi will be back. DUH-DUH-DUHHHHHH!!!! The Cullens figure though that any attempts to pick them off separately will fail thanks to Alice's visions (which of course haven't ever been faulty or flawed before - don't these idiots remember Eclipse?) and they go on about how when the day comes, they will stand united and perhaps free the vampire world of the tyranny of the Volturi. *dangerously* Meyer, I am not taking that bait. You used the "Don't Tread On Me" card for the ENTIRE CLIMAX OF THIS BOOK AND - OH SHI - *is electrocuted* AUGH!
Oh, and Carlisle is kind enough to remind them to find Alistar and let him know it's safe to come out of hiding. I still am angry at Meyer for getting rid of him.
And - oh this is lovely! You all remember Irina and how she was killed in the last chapter or so? No? I don't blame you if you don't, everyone seemed to have forgotten about it. Well, here's the last and only other mention it gets
"The Denalis were the last to leave, Garrett with them-as he would be from now on, I was fairly sure. The atmosphere of celebration was too much for Tanya and Kate. They needed time to grieve for their lost sister."
ZeldaQueen: Notice, dear folks, that Bella saw fit to mention first how Garrett would be with them. Because finding one's True Love is far more important than one's brutally murdered sibling! And that's it - nine words dedicated to the death of Irina. And notice that there's not any sympathy or sorrow for her, oh no. It's only "Oh, Tanya and Kate feel bad because their sister died, but they'll get over it". Bella doesn't even spare a thought or Irina's death! And it's even more insulting because Irina was the only casualty in the confrontation! It's not like there were masses of deaths and thus she was forgotten! What's wrong Bella, couldn't you be bothered to grieve for the only person who died to save your freaking family??? *machine beeps* I'm calm! I'm calm!
So the only guests left are Huilen and Nahuel. Edward has just finished explaining what all had been going on and proceeds to comment that the Volturi surely would have gone ahead with their original plan if they weren't terrified of Bella. I...*holds head* nothing you guys wouldn't have heard before, of course Bella has the Sue power that scares everyone away, GOD I hate her! Bella of course can't believe that little old her was the reason the Volturi decided to leave and Edward tells her (in a kinder way) that she's being an idiot and that her ability to block out powers actually put the Volturi at a disadvantage and thus freaked them out. THEN WHY - ack, then why were you all so freaked out about dying at that interlude??? And Edward adds that "I'm sure our numbers would have been pretty severely decimated, but they were sure that theirs would be, too. There was even a good possibility that they would lose". No Edward, I don't believe you. Mervin was right, you had all of the powers and the Volturi didn't. The only advantage the Volturi would have had was physical combat experience and even that they were probably inferior at. HOW ON EARTH WOULD YOU HAVE BEN "DECIMATED"? *is electrocuted but keeps going*
Edward also actually tells us some more about the "Children of the Moon" werewolves and once again Meyer, could you have told us all of this before the last chapter of the book? Apparently the CotM werewolves never travel in packs, which confused the Volturi (still doesn't explain how Aro knew about the spirit animal thing) and do transform under the full moon. Silver bullets don't work and are "one of those myths to make humans feel like they had a sporting chance". Because humans are all inferior and can't survive without another supernatural race protecting them.
And what do you know, Bella actually channels me for a second and asks why Edward never bothered to tell her this before. Why didn't he? Because "“It never came up". Apparently he didn't think she'd find it interesting to hear about after learning that her best friend turned into a wolf. So Bella's only allowed to know about supernatural stuff when it's trying to kill her then?
Alice is all perky and giggly and Bella is annoyed with her for a change, though in this case she's angry at Alice for running off and leaving them to all think they were going to die. Thank you Bella, now if you'd just throttle Alice, I'd be most happy. Apparently complete and utter death was one of the possible outcomes for the situation, so the J. Jenks thing was back-up. In other words, it was utterly useless and pointless and just served as a filler. Bella then asks why Alice didn't bother to tell her that there was hope even if Edward couldn't know (thanks again Bella - this is odd!) and the answer is apparently that Bella was not a good actress and thus would have given it all away. *scratches head* Excuse me? How would Bella knowing a potentially hopeful future cause problems like that? Wouldn't Edward and Aro just assume that she was optimistic or hopeful anyway? I guess I'm using Normal Person Logic here. Bella's never optimistic or hopeful.
Bella continues to be annoyed with Alice and Alice diverts this by whining about how hard she had it, looking for a half-vampire in South America (TRY EUROPE, I HEAR THERE'S A TON!!!), plus sending witnesses over, plus keeping her eyes open for any instructions Bella left. Alice also asks what was supposed to be in Rio. HA HA! Bella eventually gives in and agrees that Alice had it hard and Alice tells Bella to just be satisfied with "being the superhero of the
day". Dude, nothing happened! If anything, Alice was the superhero for providing the deus ex machina! Yes, I know Bella did the shield which would have been a huge asset in battle, BUT THERE WAS NO BATTLE *quickly quiets as machine bleeps*
Oh, and Bella notices Nahuel is staring at either her or Renesmee an awful lot. She realizes that he must have noticed that Renesmee is the only half-vampire who isn't related to him and hopes that Jacob doesn't figure this out.
...Meyer, I swear if you use this to set up some sort of sequel love triangle, I will not stop until I have my revenge.
Everyone's all exhausted by now and Jacob decides to go home for a change. We get mention of his dad, who is probably all freaked out for all we know (like Jake cares). Before heading back to the cottage, Bella asks Jasper why J. Jenks was so freaked out by the Cullen family name. Jasper replies that he knew that people like Jenks were better motivated by fear than money. Bella decides to take over contact with Jenks, because of course she's a Sue who fixes everything.
On the way to their home, Edward brings up the fact that Jacob now knows that Renesmee will essentially be of marriageable age in only seven years. Bella insists that "He doesn't see her that way. He's not in a hurry for her to grow
up. He just wants her to be happy". Bull, I say!!! I remind you all about that promise ring-equivalent! I remind you of how every other imprinted wolf has ultimate intentions for their imprintees! I'd rant more, but I'm exhausted and it's not really anything we haven't heard before. Edward goes on about what great self-control Jacob has and how Renesmee could do worse. You mean like a clone of Adolph Hitler? A white supremacist? Adam Sandler? Oh, and Edward isn't clueless to the implied affections of Nahuel. Bella sighs and comments that she wishes he wouldn't stare at Renesmee so much, since it's weird. I'm sorry folks, hold the phone...
EXCUSE ME?????????
*suffers a massive electric shock and falls out of seat*
So let me get this straight, Bella? You're perfectly alright with Jacob hovering over Renesmee twenty-four, seven - Jacob who has spent the previous books lusting after you and completely hating the vampires and all associated with them - and you're bothered that Nahuel is staring. Nahuel, who has never seen a half-human vampire outside of his family before and has no previous ties and thus has good reason to stare.
*drags herself back into chair*
That's not even mentioning how your courtship with your darling husband basically was made up entirely of staring!!!
Continuing on, we can't finish without a little more Sue-praising, so Edward explains to Bella that Nahuel was actually staring at her. Why? Because somehow seeing that Bella survived the childbirth and how Renesmee is with a happy family (allegedly happy I guess) causes Nahuel to no longer consider himself the evil being he felt he was and to forgive himself. I honestly don't know how that works. I'd think that seeing that it's possible for his mother to have survived since Bella did would have made him feel worse, since he still had to deal with his mother's death. Oh well!
And this is disgusting
"I smiled for Nahuel's happiness and then thought that today belonged to happiness. Though Irina's sacrifice was a dark shadow against the white light, keeping the moment from perfection, the joy was impossible to deny. The life I'd fought for was safe again. My family was reunited. My daughter had a beautiful future stretching out endlessly in front of her. Tomorrow I would go see my father; he would see that the fear in my eyes had been replaced with joy, and he would be happy, too. Suddenly, I was sure that I wouldn't find him there alone. I hadn't been as observant as I might have been in the last few weeks, but in this moment it was like I'd known all along. Sue would be with Charlie-the werewolves' mom with the vampire's dad-and he wouldn't be alone anymore. I smiled widely at this new insight"
ZeldaQueen: Sorry about that folks, we get one last mention of Irina. Bella spares a thought for her only because her death caused an imperfection to the day. HOW WONDERFUL YOU FROZEN BITCH!!!!! OH LOOK, THE MACHINE IS ELECTROCUTING ME, I DON'T CARE I WILL GO AT YOU AND YOUR STUPID SPARKLY HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER WITH A CHISEL AND HAMMER AND PUT AN END TO YOU YAAAAAAAAAGH!
*machine explodes*
Projection Room Voices: Do you have any idea of how much that cost?
ZeldaQueen: Shut up! I'm finishing this as fast as I can! Oh, but also that quote? How lovely that Meyer found time to pair off one last pair of singles! I'm surprised, usually in the Meyerverse, people who give up on their True Loves and start seeing other people are Evil and Shallow!
Renesmee is put to bed, Bella tosses Aro's necklace in the corner, and she and Edward start to get ready for sexy time. All of a sudden though, Bella calls for a halt. As Edward watches in befuddlement, she starts to concentrate and removes her mind shield. Yes folks, her one advantage over Edward. Her one bit of privacy which made her interesting to him. And she takes it down. Just so he won't be inconvenienced and unable to read her thoughts. Heaven forbid anything of hers be kept private! And we end with them having un-passionate love of course, were you expecting any differently? I'm done, good day!
*throws Letters From The Future into the Time Travel Mailbox to the times in the past when they were to be received*
ZeldaQueen: There! It's done, it's over, I'm through! I'll be following up with an overall assessment shortly. Now unhook me from this, it's smoking and starting to get grease on me.
Projection Room Voices: You did well. We've prepared you ravioli for when you're done.
ZeldaQueen: Woot! *to viewers* Thanks for sticking around and giving so much support, everyone! We finally made it through though! Just Meyer's acknowledgments and an overall assessment left and I wash my hands of this insanity.
Speaking of which, it seems that Meyer will be releasing another Twilight story. It's the one she promised, from the point of view of Bree of Eclipse. At least she's putting it online for free in June. *sharpens spork* The article also alludes to a guide to the Twilight Universe. God save us...
Off topic note: to everyone viewing this, I have a bit of a favor to ask - I have a fanfiction I want to spork after this, but there are about three sex scenes in it. I'm not sure how bad they rate compared to other fanfics like Hogwarts Exposed, but I can't even read these. They're the usual author self-insert having sex with her favorite canon character. If anyone would be willing to spork the sex scenes for me (even just one of them) I would be eternally grateful and owe you big time!
Onward to: Acknowledgments
Back to: Chapter 38: Power
Return to: Table of Contents