ZeldaQueen: Part two of this tripe!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 13 (Part 2)
ZeldaQueen: When we last left off, Nora was assigned to wait on a table and this totally isn't a set-up for contrived conflict. Yeah. Nora starts towards the table and sees that Marcie is sitting there. Cue canned laughter from laugh track. Oh, and three kids named “Addyson Hales, Oakley Williams, and Ethan Tyler” are also sitting with her. If those three names mean absolutely nothing to you, it’s because they’ve never shown up before and never will be seen again. We aren’t even given a reason why we should see them as trouble. I guess they’re Bad because they associate with Marcie. I have no frigging clue why they’re even there, except that Fitzpatrick wants Nora humiliated in stereo rather than mono.
And yes, that’s one of the big purposes of this scene. To humiliate Nora. By this point, that particular theme is just making me weirded out as heck. But hey, let’s get a little more into the scene before I rant!
Marcie and Company notice Nora before she can sneak away, and we’re told that “a granite-hard smile touched [Marcie’s] mouth”. Raymond Chandler, Fitzpatrick is not. Nora starts going into silent fits at this, pelting us with Dead Herrings because OH NO OH NO MARCIE MUST SURELY KNOW SHE’S STOLEN HER DIARY! I mean, Marcie isn’t acting any different than she usually does and certainly isn’t acting the way you’d think a bitchy high school girl would react to having her diary stolen, but no! SURELY SHE MUST KNOW THE TRUTH AND WILL BE OUT FOR NORA’S BLOOD BECAUSE OF IT!!!
While Nora is agonizing over this and holding our hand to inform us that she has yet to read the diary, Marcie starts making fun of Nora’s outfit, saying “Ethan, didn’t you wear a vest just like that to prom last year? I think Nora raided your closet”. I wasn’t aware that grey tweed vests were in style for high school boys, but what do I know? And is it just me, or is that insult pretty off-target? I always heard the whole “Dur hur, I’ll mock your unfashionable clothes” in variants of “Did your grandmother wear that to prom” or “You must have gotten it from the thrift shop” and so forth. You know, implying that the clothes are unfashionable or ugly. Marcie clearly isn’t suggesting that unless Ethan really is that out-of-style (which, for as much of we know if him, I guess he could be). Her insult seems to be that Nora is wearing clothes that a boy would wear. And that…uh, that doesn’t really work. This is the twenty-first century. Women wear vests and pantsuits and the like. In fact, I’m sure plenty wear them to formal events like prom. So this just makes no sense. At least that stays consistent in this thing.
Everyone has a merry laugh at Nora’s expense, because apparently these people have nothing better to do. Yes, I know kids can be cruel and plenty pick on their fellow students for stupid jobs. But three of these four guys we don’t know! How do they even know or care about Nora? I know we’re supposed to buy that she’s some loser with no friends, but considering that she interacts with all of five people maximum and no one outside of that circle makes an effort to interact with her, I long ago came to the conclusion that Nora just flew under everyone’s radar. I mean, there is nothing about her that would explain why everyone in her grade or school would make fun of her. She doesn’t act particularly strange (outwardly, at least. I know she’s dumb as a bag of hammers on the inside), she doesn’t stick out as geeky or nerdy, she isn’t extremely ugly or strange-looking, she doesn’t act in any way that would make her sex life or lack thereof noticeable, and while she’s supposed to be poor, she doesn’t live or dress in any way that would peg her as such.
In short, I can see no reason why these people are aiming to cause the scene about to happen. Rude remarks? Sure, I could buy that. Them making fun of her while she’s not around? Yeah, okay. But this? Well, let’s take a look at what comes next. Sorry for two full-on sporkings in one chapter, but this is just awful!
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“Last time I was in here, it was my mom’s birthday,” Marcie said. “Our waitress sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to her.”
ZeldaQueen: Which I would think that most high schoolers, especially one as bitchy and shallow as Marcie’s supposed to be, would find mortifying.
Actually, what were the Millers doing, eating at a restaurant like this? The way it’s described, it sounds like a bit more casual than an Olive Garden - a nice place for dinner, but hardly five star. If the Millers are all as snooty and materialistic as Nora keeps saying the are, why wouldn’t they spend Mrs. Miller’s birthday at a really fancy establishment? And heck, why would a snooty rich woman want to have “Happy Birthday” sung to her? It seriously doesn’t fit with how Nora’s been describing her!
It took me a whole three seconds to catch on. “Oh. No. I mean- no. I’m not a waitress. I’m a counter attendant.”
ZeldaQueen: Which is a perfectly valid argument as to why not to do this. It’s not a part of Nora’s job. Now would be when she asks for their order again and…
“I don’t care what you are. I want you to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me.”
I stood paralyzed, my mind frantically groping for an escape.
ZeldaQueen: … Or you could just stand there like a dumbass, flailing. Nora. Honey. You have your escape. She’s asking you to do something that isn’t your job! This would be like if, when I worked at LensCrafters, I went in a panic because a customer demanded I craft their lenses myself, when my job was to help them put the order through. If the customer is demanding you do something that you aren’t supposed to be doing, you don’t have to do it!
I couldn’t believe Marcie was asking me to humiliate myself this way. Wait. Of course she was asking me to humiliate myself.
ZeldaQueen: Um, yeah. Where were you for the past two books, while she was supposedly doing everything in her power to make your life hell?
For the past eleven years, I’d kept a secret scorecard between us, but now I was certain she was keeping her own scorecard.
ZeldaQueen: Uh, how do you figure that? Projecting much?
She lived for the chance to one-up me. Worse, she knew her score doubled mine and she was still running up the points. Which made her not only a bully, but a bad sport.
ZeldaQueen: Or maybe she just keeps bullying you because you don’t do anything to stop her! And I know it’s not that easy, and I’m not saying people only get bullied because they’re passive, but Nora is! We hear nothing about her taken any steps to stop Marcie, just like right now! Given how lazy Marcie has come across as, I seriously get the impression that if Nora just stopped whining and refused, Marcie would shut up and go do something else!
I held out my hand. “Let me see your ID.”
Marcie lifted an uncaring shoulder. “I forgot it.”
We both knew she hadn’t forgotten her driver’s license, and we both knew it wasn’t her birthday.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, this just is one more reason why Nora’s being ridiculous about this. Marcie’s demanding she sing Happy Birthday, and there isn’t even any proof it’s her birthday! Nora, just listen to this! Walk away! There is seriously no way you can get in trouble for this. If the manager complains, tell her that no proof was given that it’s her birthday! If Marcie really doesn’t have her ID, she can’t prove it! And even if she did, she’d still be caught in her lie because you know it isn’t her birthday!
Seriously, take some control of your life! GROW A FRIGGING SPINE!
“We’re really busy tonight,” I said, feigning apology. “My manager wouldn’t want me to take time away from the other customers.”
ZeldaQueen: YES. SHE WOULD. Having worked in the food service industry, I can say that Nora standing her arguing with Marcie is more likely to piss the manager off than her not singing Happy Birthday. In fact, I’m surprised someone hasn’t come over already to find out what the hold-up is. It probably isn’t happening because if an authority figure came over, they’d take all of two seconds to tell Marcie “She’s not singing, now stop asking” and get Nora off the hook
“Your manager would want you to keep your customers happy. Now sing.”
ZeldaQueen: Does Fitzpatrick seriously think the service industry is like this? Does Nora? Because as many, many people can testify, the customer is
not always right. And most managers, unless they’re total douches, understand this and can tell the difference between an employee doing a bad job and a customer harassing them. And, hint hint, this case isn’t an example of the first!
“And while you’re at it,” Ethan chimed in, “bring out one of those free chocolate cakes.”
ZeldaQueen: You know, any effect of “Oh my God, how could he be so demanding?!” is lost on the fact that we have no idea how this restaurant operates. Some places do give a free cake for someone’s birthday. It’d be small, but still a cake.
And incidentally, do these people not actually want to eat? Or is harassing Nora seriously that high on their priorities?
“We’re only supposed to give out one slice, not a whole cake,” I said.
ZeldaQueen: JESUS H. CHRIST, STOP GIVING THEM AMMO! They know how much cake they’re supposed to be getting! Ignore them!
*runs hands through hair* I just…I can’t stand this! They are blatantly trying to get her goat and she’s giving them opportunities to do so! What the heck???
“We’re only supposed to give out one slice,” Addyson mimicked, and the table erupted with laughter.
ZeldaQueen: *tiredly* These people have stupid senses of humor, and that’s all I can say. I’d just be rolling my eyes and sending someone else to get their damned orders, by this point
Marcie reached into her handbag and pulled out a Flip camera. The red power button blinked on, and she aimed the lens at me.
ZeldaQueen: Thank you for holding our hands through that, Fitzpatrick. It’s not like you could have just said “She turned the phone on and pointed it at me”
“I can’t wait to spam this video to the entire school. Good thing I have access to everyone’s e-mail. Who would’ve thought being an office aide would be so useful?”
ZeldaQueen: Okay. Nora, you want your revenge on her? She just openly admitted to planning to blatantly misuse the privileges that come with her job. That information is private. It’s also supposed to be for emergencies. I can’t believe she wouldn’t get in serious trouble for it. She releases that video, tell the principle how she did it. I’m pretty sure the satisfaction you’d get from getting her fired and/or suspended would outweigh the commentary from whoever would give two shits about a random video they got (seriously, are we to buy that the entire damned school would care about this?)
And if anyone tries to say that it wouldn’t work because Nora doesn’t have proof, I could argue two scenarios.
The first is that she sends a mass e-mail from the principle’s office directly. In that case, she’s going to get caught damned quickly, once he finds a copy of her message in the “Sent” folder.
But okay, let’s say she somehow has the time and inclination to copy down the two hundred or so e-mails of everyone who goes to the high school, all without getting caught. That’s two hundred or so e-mails that are conveniently coming from the same source - her computer. And while I realize that a lot of teens have their own addresses these days, I can’t believe a good chunk of those e-mails wouldn’t go to family addresses.
Guess what? Those parents are going to be pissed when they find that video. When someone who shouldn’t have your e-mail address gets it, that’s cause for concern. Assuming the e-mail doesn’t go to their Spam folder immediately, they’re almost certainly going to mark it as such. And anyone the least bit computer-savvy isn’t going to open an e-mail attachment from someone they don’t know. Especially if said attachment is supposed to be a video of a girl. That’s all but saying “I’m a virus waiting to happen!”
Of course, like I said, that’s assuming anyone actually gives a crap. Chances are, most of the people who got this would just hit delete while clearing out the rest of the Inbox.
But never mind that pesky logic stuff! This is dramatic!
She knew about the diary. She had to. And this was payback.
ZeldaQueen: Nora. Marcie is second only to Vee in terms of lack of subtlety. If she knew you took her diary, it would be damned obvious.
Actually, why are you so sure you’re the only suspect? There were tons of people at that party, and she never saw you go upstairs. And it’s not like you ever actually do anything to Marcie, so there’s really no precedence. It’s just Dead Herring Central here, I guess
Fifty points to me for stealing her diary. Twice that many to her for sending a video of me singing “Happy Birthday, Marcie” to all of Coldwater High.
ZeldaQueen: Which WOULDN’T HAPPEN IF YOU WOULDN’T ROLL OVER AND LET THESE PEOPLE WALK OVER YOU!!!
Folks, personal story time. When I was in first grade, there was this classmate of mine who picked on me. In hindsight, it was just little kid annoying stuff, nothing bad. I had a pretty dramatic mind at the tender age of six, so I’d always put things on the epicness scale of a Justice League battle. Basically, I was insane.
One day, when we were playing in the corridor outside of our classroom, I was standing so that I was between a table and the wall. The kid moved a chair so that it was in front of me. There might have been something blocking behind me, I don’t know. But my overly dramatic kiddy mind started imagining a scenario where I was trapped and unable to move the chair, because I‘d just had my fingernails painted and I couldn‘t possibly ruin them. It was completely ridiculous. There were plenty of ways for me to get around the chair. The kid even showed me how to use my palms to push it aside. I just really wanted a dramatic scenario. Eventually we both got bored and wandered off because we were six. That’s how kids are. Crazy.
This is what Nora’s acting like. She’s standing behind the metaphorical chair, wringing her hands about how she can’t possibly escape the fix she’s in. And I don’t think she’s in genuine peril. I get the sick sense that she’s in this position because she wants to be. She wants to be spit on and humiliated.
But that’s not entirely accurate. It’s obviously not Nora who wants this. It’s her Suethor. And we’ll be bringing that up at the end of this section, so just keep that in mind…
I pointed over my shoulder at the kitchen and slowly backed up. “Listen, my orders are piling up-”
ZeldaQueen: Fantastic. Yes. Great. Now keep walking -
“Ethan, go tell that lovely hostess over there that we demand to speak to the manager. Tell her our counter attendant is being cranky,” Marcie said.
ZeldaQueen: For Jesus Christ fuck’s sake, the manager isn’t going to listen! How the hell is that conversation going to go?
Roberta: What seems to be the trouble?
Marcie: This girl won’t sing Happy Birthday to me!
Roberta: Oh? I’m sorry, there must be some sort of mistake. That girl’s a counter attendant, not a waitress. It’s not her job to sing for you. I’m really sorry for the confusion
Marcie: But -
Roberta: If you want us to sing for you though, I’d be happy to call over a waitress. Can you please show me some ID to prove it’s your birthday?
Marcie: … Never mind
ZeldaQueen: Don’t even try to tell me that’s not how it would go. Don’t even try
I couldn’t believe it. Less than three hours on the job, and Marcie was going to get me fired.
ZeldaQueen: I don’t believe it either, but for an entirely different reason. Nora. Darling. Things like this happen all the time on jobs like this. Unless you end up getting a lot of people routinely complaining about your behavior, you aren’t going to get fired over something like this. One bitchy customer is not going to get you canned.
Not to mention, Roberta went to all the trouble to get you a uniform, get you logged into your system (we were told you clocked in, after all), train you, and no doubt do other things like have you arrange for direct deposit or sign up for any plans or employee benefits or whatnot that come with the job. Do you seriously think that she’s going to kick you out over all of that?! You’re working in a restaurant, not the Pentagon! Unless you set the kitchen on fire, they aren’t wasting all that time, firing you on the first day!!!
How was I going to pay off my ticket? And good-bye, Volkswagen Cabriolet.
ZeldaQueen: Get another job, you half-wit. This is not the only job in town. I refuse to believe that. By this point, any sane person would realize that, and that walking away with some dignity and risking finding a new job is the better option. Really, why are you laboring under the impression that this is some Dickensian setting where they’ll fire you for the dumbest reasons, they’ll fawn over a rich guy’s daughter to the point of abusing their employees, and that jobs are all but nonexistent? You’re not in Bleak House, you know!
Most importantly, I needed the job to distract myself from the useless struggle of finding a way to deal with the blistering truth: Patch was out of my life. For good.
ZeldaQueen: *points* She just said it, folks. Forgetting you ex is the most important reason to get a job. Forget saving up money to give you some freedom and independence. Forget about learning responsibility. Forget about preparing for college or a family or moving or starting a career. Your boyfriend should always be the number one reason you do anything!
And again, I ask why she didn’t take this mindset the first time they broke up. This happened at the beginning of the book! She thought they were done for good then, so why didn’t she go on this “I need a job NOW” insanity back then?
“Time’s up,” Marcie said. “Ethan, ask for the manager.”
ZeldaQueen: *rolls eyes* See all of my above points
“Wait,” I said. “I’ll do it.”
ZeldaQueen: *disgusted* I have given all the rants I have to give about why she is being a spineless worm right now. Just…please, someone. Anyone. Please tell me why I should like Nora, at this point. She has done nothing but whine and wangst over Patch, act psychotic towards Marcie, stolen personal property, started trying to stalk Patch back to his home to sniff his bed sheets or whatever, and has shown no inclination to put the slightest effort into maintaining her dignity around these people. She has done absolutely nothing heroic or strong-willed or admirable, from what I’ve seen.
And folks, the kicker? This is supposed to be the book where everyone things Nora starts being stronger. This book. Just read this all and…just think about that
Marcie squealed and clapped her hands. “Good thing I charged my battery.”
Subconsciously, I tugged the newsboy cap lower, shielding my face. I opened my mouth. “Happy birthday to you-”
ZeldaQueen: And now it’s being dragged out. Of course it is! We couldn’t just sum it up or skip over it. Nope! We need to show Nora’s humiliation in full detail!
“Louder!” they all shouted.
ZeldaQueen: Why has no one else noticed this commotion, incidentally? Between that and how long Nora’s spent there, you’d think the manager would have come over to intervene
“Happy birthday to you,” I sang louder, too embarrassed to tell if my tone was perilously flat.
ZeldaQueen: “Perilously flat”? What the heck is that supposed to mean? What, do you think she’s going to demand you sing a second time, if you’re off-key?
“Happy birthday, dear Marcie. Happy birthday to you.” Nobody said a word. Marcie stowed the Flip
ZeldaQueen: The prose was bland. I fell asleep
back inside her handbag. “Well, that was boring.”
“That sounded … normal,” Ethan said.
ZeldaQueen: Well what were you guys expecting? That she’d do a song and dance routine while you were forcing her to publicly humiliate herself? How is this not the reaction you were expecting?
Some of the blood drained from my face. I gave a brief, flustered, triumphant smile. Five hundred points. My solo was worth at least that. So much for Marcie blowing me to
smithereens. I had officially taken the lead. “Drinks, anyone?” I asked, sounding surprisingly cheerful.
ZeldaQueen: And this is it, folks. This is supposed to be Nora triumphing. Her coming out on top over these asshats. Let’s just have a look at this, shall we?
First of all, I’m sorry but no, this isn’t her triumphing. That would suggest that she in some way had a hand in achieving these results. She didn’t deliberately sing in a way that she knew would annoy them. She didn’t take one of the countless options to get out of singing entirely. The only reason she thinks she “won” was because the Suethor made the Scary Sues change their minds and find the routine boring.
And this lead to the question of the day, why this part was so drawn-out. You guys saw that chunk! Three pages, people. That’s roughly how long Fitzpatrick devoted to Nora getting taunted, laughed at, and degraded. And it was utterly pointless because, as I said, Nora contributes nothing. I could understand drawing it out to invoke sympathy for some sort of payoff (Nora finally standing up to Marcie, for example), but we don’t get it. Nora is chewed up and spat out. For all that happens here, we could have had Nora grit her teeth and sing the song right off the bat, and nothing would have changed…except she would have been humiliated less.
This is a thing that’s been going on since Hush, Hush, people. From the very start, people have been rude or cruel to Nora. She’s ignored or her concerned are laughed off, even by the people who are supposed to care for her. She’s constantly forced into creepy or dangerous situations, which many of you guys commented on this, noting how uncomfortable it was to read. Hell, the entire series
sprang from such a moment! If you recall from an interview Fitzpatrick gave…
"During her writing class, the teacher had asked them to write a scene showing humiliation. ‘So I wrote a scene about my own life,’ she explains. ‘When I was sixteen and I was in my high school biology class, my teacher asked me in front of the whole class to list the characteristics I’d want in a mate, which of course happens to Nora. So that was the beginning of the book, just writing about this experience that happened to me in Biology, changing it to make it fictional.’ This was the seed of the idea that would grow into Hush, Hush"
ZeldaQueen: You guys, this is like Twilight in reverse. Bella was Meyer’s avatar and thus we were “treated” to drawn-out scenes that served no purpose but to wank over how beautiful or clever or magnificent she is. Nora is, to some degree, Fitzpatrick’s avatar. She’s living out Fitzpatrick’s high school fantasies about dating the bad boy. By Fitzpatrick’s own admittance, in the above-linked interview, she wrote Nora’s story while drawing from her own high school experiences. And Nora - the author’s avatar - is constantly belittled and scorned and never taken seriously or allowed to actually get any of her own back.
What is up with this? I understand the occasional awkward scene. I can understand the need to induce catharsis. But this feels nothing like that! It feels like Nora is a sane, ordinary girl being kicked in the head by everyone she meets, while it’s treated by everybody including herself as completely normal and fine.
And most disturbing of all? In many of these cases, I really get the feeling that Fitzpatrick herself doesn’t see how constantly degrading and horrific the treatment of Nora is, at the hands of those who are closest to her
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ZeldaQueen: And on that lovely note, we end the sporking and go back to recapping!
We skip past Nora taking their orders, because why waste space on stuff like that? It’s not like we didn’t just get an unnecessary scene immediately before! Nora’s all cheerful at her “triumph”, when Marcie calls her back.
Nora instantly begins pelting us with dead herrings, assuring us that OH NO, MARCIE SURELY KNOWS ABOUT THE DIARY AND WILL BE TELLING EVERYONG HOW NORA IS A DIARY THIEF, OH HOW TERRIBLE! She panics because “she was going to out me. Right now. In front of all these people”. I don't think these people care if you and Marcie are lovers, Nora. No, in all seriousness, she freaks out because "She was going to tell the world I stole her diary, so they could see just how low and despicable I really was".
*rubs forehead* Nora? Why do you think these people would give a fuck? They don't know you. You're waiting on them. Marcie is a random girl who happens to be eating in the same room as them. If she jumps up and starts shouting "Nora stole my diary", they're not going to think "Isn't Nora such a horrible girl?" No, they're going to think "Why's that weird girl causing such a rukus". And if she keeps it up, in all likelihood they'd throw her out of the restaurant.
One could argue that Nora's being eaten away by her guilt and thinking irrationally. That, of course, would be assuming she ever thought rationally when she wasn't feeling guilt-ridden. Not to mention, for as horrible as she supposedly feels over it, she doesn't give much thought into sending it back to Marcie! And no, I can't buy that she didn't think to do it while she's in the Depths of Despair. She could have had Vee swing by Marcie's place so she could toss it on the porch, after work. Like every other problem she has, Nora just doesn't think about it until it's right up in her face!
But like I said, it's all dead herrings. Marcie has no idea Nora stole her diary, gasp, shock, bloody surprise. Instead, she wants Nora to rush her order because she is meeting Patch at a beach party. Nora, upon hearing this, reacts with all the quiet dignity and grace you'd expect from her
"Any smile I was clinging to slipped. I felt heat creep up my neck. My heart beat so fast it made my head light. The room slanted inward, and Marcie’s cutthroat smile was at the center of everything, laughing at me. So everything was back to normal, then. Patch had gone back to Marcie. After I’d walked away last night, he’d resigned himself to the deal fate had handed us. If he couldn’t have me, he’d settle for Marcie"
ZeldaQueen: Oy vey. Nora. Sweetie. Darling. I am going to tell you this in a loud voice, so as to make sure it penetrates your thick skull.
MARCIE IS SUPPOSED TO HATE YOUR GUTS. WHY IN THE EVER-LOVING HELL WOULD YOU NOT THINK SHE'S LYING TO YOU?
I just...I honestly don't know what to say to this! She's been through this before! She sees Patch with Marcie, or figures he's with her, he gives some excuse for it, and instead of coming to some realization about him (either that he's two-timing or that she's being paranoid), she just FLAT-OUT FORGETS IT until it comes up again AND SHE GOES THROUGH THE EXACT SAME FUCKING ROUTINE ALL OVER!!! Jesus Christ, girl, think things through instead of having a wangst-fit as a knee-jerk reaction! Is any of this getting through that blue bonnet?
And once again, she starts wangsting! Ohhh yes, she wangsts. Because Patch was kissing Marcie and the archangels clearly don't care and could it be because the two are in lust and not love thus making it not count, and dammit woman, stop whining that the laws of heaven forbid you from boinking Patch!
ZeldaQueen: You people have no idea of the wangst I have spared you. I'll be talking about this later in the sporking, when the idiocy of the archangels is made more obvious. For now though, let us just move on.
Nora makes a remarkable jab at sounding unaffected by this. Great! Where was this sort of a reaction two minutes ago? Marcie clearly doesn’t buy it, though, and nibbles “seductively” on her straw…
YOU FUCKING WHORE = 82
And I can only assume those are magical drinks that teleport to the table, because Nora just took their orders down just a few sentences ago. There was nothing between her singing and this part where she could have brought drinks.
Also what’s the point of her being seductive right now? Is she trying to flirt with Nora? Or is does Fitzpatrick think that slutty high school girls act like they’re in pornos and constantly pose and do suggestive things twenty-four seven.
(I’m also trying to figure out how one can nibble a straw seductively and am having a remarkably difficult time doing so.)
Anyway, Nora is now pissed and sends back the orders deliberately leaving out the request for the food to be rushed. Oh really, Nora? You’ll do something that Marcie has no right to demand you do, believing that you’ll be fired otherwise, but you’re going to risk pissing her off and complaining about her food being late, which really is something that causes problems for waitresses and is a commonly accepted complaint from customers?
Whatever! The purpose of Nora’s job is now over. See? That was the only reason this all happened! So she could wait on Marcie and find out about the party and how Patch apparently is going there. The job serves no other purpose to the story and is only briefly referenced from here on out. Aren’t you all so glad we got a huge chunk of this chapter devoted to such a vital part of the story?
Nora waits on one more table before she notices Scott, who is fulfilling his part as Secondary Male Fanservice and being flirted with by two of the hostesses. Nora goes over to greet him, and it turns out he’s been trying to reach her because he wants to invite her to the Delphic Beach party. You know, the one Patch is going to? Well, as far as Nora’s concerned, that’s the only detail worth thinking about, as we’ll see in a moment.
Nora makes the very good point that every time she’s gone out with Scott, something bad has happened. Scott just sort of is vacant as she tries to get him to remember the pool hall incident and the fight in the Devil’s Handbag. I don’t blame him not remembering the latter one because he wasn’t there, but how could he forget getting involved in a freaking riot? Especially since he was nearly killed and Nora was put in danger as well. It’s not exactly something you easily forget!
All Scott says to this is “Third time’s a charm”. Yeah, that’s it. No “Sorry, that really does suck” or “I see what you mean. Still, want to give it a go?” Nope! He’s just glossing over those minor details! Who cares? Nora sure doesn’t, because he smiles at her and she instantly starts going on about how boyish and cute he is. So nice to have a heroine who has her priorities in order. Wasn’t there something about her dead dad possibly being alive? Or finding his murderer? No? Okay then.
Oh, and Nora also comments that the smiles “softened his personality” and makes her wonder if there’s a side to him she has yet to see. Besides the question of how a smile softens a personality, I have to wonder how she’s been seeing Scott. If anything, Scott has come across as ridiculously easy-going.
We then jump abruptly from Scott’s personality to the beach party, specifically how it obviously is the same one Marcie’s going to. This means that Patch is going, and like I said, that’s the only thing Nora cares about. Do you really doubt me?
“I did a quick inventory of my feelings, but I needed more than a handful of seconds to figure out how I was feeling. I wanted to see Patch-I would always want to-but that wasn’t the question. I needed to determine if I was up to seeing him. Could I handle seeing him with Marcie? Especially after everything he’d told me last night?”
ZeldaQueen: Please note what she isn’t considering. She isn’t thinking about whether or not she wants to go just to have fun. She isn’t considering if she wants to go so she can hang out with Scott. No, all of her thoughts are on using it as an opportunity to see Patch. That’s it. That’s all she cares about. She has absolutely no motivation outside of that jerk.
Oh, and she also tells us how this beach is the same one where “[Nora had] spoken too early by declaring I was living the perfect life. I never could have guessed how fast it would tailspin”. Isn’t that a thing of beauty? Fitzpatrick’s channeling Meyer channeling Arianna Black. This book just keeps racking up the Sue fic points, doesn’t it?
Nora finally tells Scott that she’ll let him know whether or not she wants to go when she gets off of work at ten. That seems like pretty last-minute planning to me, but I’m kind of anal about getting outings set up ahead of time, so whatever floats her boat. Scott offers to pick her up when she gets off work and I feel kind of sorry for the guy. I know he’s going to drop to the same levels of jerkassery that the rest of these characters are at, but right now all I can see is him inviting Nora along for some fun and she is only planning on using it as a chance to stare at her ex.
Anywho, Nora tells him it’s fine and that Vee is getting her. She reminds him that she’s at work, and I seriously am trying to figure out how she hasn’t been yelled at yet. Jobs where you wait on people are pretty demanding and keep you on your toes, and managers aren’t exactly forgiving if you’re goofing off. After all, late orders mean grumpy customers. In any case, Scott bids her farewell and says he hopes he’ll see her later.
We then cut ahead to ten o’clock, as Nora hops in the car with Vee. We get a mention of how Nora’s all sore and tired from work, which is going to magically disappear when it’s convenient to the plot. She also mentions having thirty dollars of tips. Again, is she or is she not a waitress? If she doesn’t wait on a table throughout an entire meal - which, from the job descriptions, she doesn’t - how does she get tips? What do the waitresses who are there do? Throw me a bone here, someone!
After Nora wangsts about how paaaaainful it is thinking about Patch and how she longs to forget him (you and me both!) Vee suggests they go get ice cream and/or fried fast food. Because she’s fat, and fat people are constantly thinking about eating greasy, fatty foods. Nora says she’ll pass, because she’s off to the beach. She also quickly invites Vee along, which is a pretty dick move considering that Scott was the who invited her to begin with and she could at least call and find out if he minded her bringing her friend along.
Meanwhile, we get more insight into Nora’s rotten mind
“I wasn’t at all sure I’d made the best decision when I’d made up my mind to go tonight. Why was I putting myself through the torture of seeing Patch again? I knew it was because I wanted him close, even if close wasn’t close enough. A stronger, braver person would cut all ties and walk away. A stronger person wouldn’t beat her fists against fate’s door. Patch was out of my life for good. I knew I needed to accept it, but there was a big difference between knowing and doing”
ZeldaQueen: Let’s just pick that apart, piece-by-piece, shall we?
“I wasn’t at all sure I’d made the best decision when I’d made up my mind to go tonight”
ZeldaQueen: We’ll just have to take your word for that, Nora, since we got no insight at all into you making the decision. We just jumped from you being unsure to you barreling headfirst into this…um…idea. As such, your decision is very jarring and meaningless
“Why was I putting myself through the torture of seeing Patch again?”
ZeldaQueen: While you’re at it, I’d like to know why you’re putting us through the torture of seeing Patch again!
“I knew it was because I wanted him close, even if close wasn’t close enough”
ZeldaQueen: . . . This is fucking creepy. Moving on!
“A stronger, braver person would cut all ties and walk away. A stronger person wouldn’t beat her fists against fate’s door”
ZeldaQueen: And here we get Nora sinning her ass off. That sure makes her previous talk about how She Will Survive and pull herself together look hollow, doesn’t it?
Consider this, folks - Nora just saw Patch last night. She has gone without seeing him for…what? Twelve hours? And she’s already talking like a junkie who needs another fix, ASAP. I honestly don’t know if this is more of Fitzpatrick trying to convince us of how in wuv Nora is, being unable to go for any length of time without her favorite brand of heroine [strike] truest of loves or if it’s another case of the Suethor not keeping track of her own timeline, but it just makes Nora look even more clingy and desperate than she already did. Which is quite the feat, all things considered.
I’d also like to point out that just a few pages ago, Nora was under the impression that Patch ran into the arms of her hated enemy, just because he couldn’t be with her. That is an extremely douchy move, to say the least. And what is Nora’s response to this? “I simply can’t walk away from him! I love him!” After she has, thus far, believed he lied to her, two-timed her with Marcie, stole her ring, broke into her head while she slept, tried to kill her with a drugged card, and ran back to Marcie when he couldn’t stay with Nora.
I think this has gone well into “Why the hell would she want him back?” territory, folks.
“Patch was out of my life for good. I knew I needed to accept it, but there was a big difference between knowing and doing”
ZeldaQueen: *steeples fingers* A few things here.
First of all, Nora? Grow a backbone. Yes, there is a difference between knowing you need to do something unpleasant but necessary and actually doing it, but guess what? In those cases, you buck up and do it. You ask other people for help. You come up with ways to get the job done as quickly as possible. You work at it. And in this case, just don’t go to the beach. Get ice cream with Vee! Take up stamp collecting! Call your mother and tell her you got a new job ridiculously fast! Any of those are valid options!
And while you’re at it, talk to them about this! Do you ever try asking your mother for advice? Or Vee? I know they give terrible advice, but you never seem to notice! These are supposed to be the people closest to you! They’re supposed to always be looking out for you! Why don’t you call your mom and tell her that your boyfriend has other commitments and you can’t see him anymore, and it looks like he’s dating your main bully. At the very least, you could get it off of your chest!
Guys, I know it really isn’t easy to do things like change your habits or get over a break-up or anything like that. I really do. But this doesn’t feel like genuine hardship in the slightest! It feels like Fitzpatrick can’t be bothered having Nora stick to her conviction to stay away from Patch, because that runs the risk of Nora actually never running into Patch and falling back under his charms and lusting after him again! And to keep readers from calling Nora out as the spineless shit she is, Fitzpatrick threw in Nora basically saying “Don’t judge me! Staying away from Patch is haaaaaaard!”
Second of all, Nora. You just saw Patch last night. Did you already forget the reason you ran away from him? He told you that the archangels were looking for an excuse to put him in Hell! Him being with you was just that excuse! And now, just to ease your oh-so-terrible torment, you’re going to hang around him and just be casual friends or whatnot (which is just about as likely to work as a person on a strict diet sticking a bag of Oreos under their nose and saying they’ll just smell and not eat any at all). In other words, you’re still putting him at risk. Jesus, what do you think the archangels will make of it if/when they catch you following Patch everywhere? Or notice you lurking by him from behind the bushes?
On that note, the final point - Nora is stalking Patch. She’s following him around, spying on him from the bushes, because she can’t stand to go any length of time outside of his proximity.
Just…how is Fitzpatrick unaware of what she wrote? She has made Nora a complete and utter yandere. The very image of the insane ex, who broke into the new girlfriend’s room to see if her boyfriend and the new girl really were dating, who constantly spies and obsesses over her boyfriend, and who contemplates suicide when it is brought to her attention that their relationship can’t be. And all of this after she came to the decision that she’ll live her own life and not let the pain of the break-up rule her at all.
This is all…I don’t even know! It creeps me out! And again, it reads like Patch has molded Nora into his dream woman. She is just as creepy and obsessive and prone to stalking and violence as he is. They’re pretty much the Joker and Harley Quinn, but without the class and competency.
*sighs* Back to the story, or what passes as one. Vee asks who all’s going to the party, and Nora says it’s Scott and some other people from their school. Don’t ask for specifics, because we’ll get none. We don’t even know who is hosting this party, or what’s going on with it. There’s a party and it’s an excuse to stalk Patch. That’s it. Oh, and Nora deliberately leaves out that Marcie’s going, because then Vee won’t want to come and she wants Vee there for support. What great friends, those two are! Clearly, this is a shining example of girls being supportive and kind to each other! Of course, Vee passes in favor of watching a movie with Rixon, so yeah. Vee also offers to have Rixon see if he could dig up a friend, so there could be a double date with Nora. Considering that she expects them to “Eat popcorn, tell jokes, [and] make out”, um…yeah. That wouldn’t be awkward at all. I also shudder to think who else Rixon’s friends with, if his best buddy is Patch.
And of course, Nora wangsts because she doesn’t want any other man. She only wants Patch!
ZeldaQueen: So, scene break! We jump forward to Vee dropping Nora off at the beach. We are informed that the sky is now “tar black”, which just sounds off to me, because I’ve only ever heard people say “pitch black”. Was pitch not sufficiently dark enough to represent this particular sky?
We get far too much of Nora describing what the beach looks like. I understand the need to properly set up a scene, but we’re going to be here for the page count equivalent of five minutes and then never come back. There’s no point in telling everyone about the go karts or the mini golf or the hamburger stands that no one is buying anything at. All that we really need established is that the beach is dark, except for one lit-up area, and that area is the only place people are at. That took me all of one sentence to say. Nora spends an entire frigging paragraph on it.
Nora hops out of the car and Vee, ever the attentive friend, is too busy talking to Rixon on her phone to do more than give a half-assed wave. Because clearly she couldn’t have bothered waiting until Nora was dropped off or anything. Congratulations, Vee. You are well on your way to morphing into the stereotypical soccer mom who’s too busy to give a crap about actually looking after her kids.
Nora heads for a bonfire signaling where the party is. Since she can’t find anyone she knows, she gives Scott a call. Somehow, she magically knows that she’s “just south of the bonfire” and he knows that he’s “just north of it”. Do those two carry compasses wherever they go or something? And even though Nora gives no other landmarks for her location at all, Scott literally finds her two minutes later. Christ.
Scott, of course, has been drinking. He’s a Bad Boy, people. Bad Boys drink and smoke and play pool and drive T-birds. He asks if Nora’s just going to sit off to the side all evening, and she replies that “I’m not a big fan of ninety percent of the people at this party”. That’s nice of her, considering that she has no clue who’s there besides Marcie, Scott, and allegedly Patch. Does she automatically hate most of the school?
Instead of asking why she showed up then, like any sane person would, Scott just nods in agreement and offers her a drink of something in a steel thermos. Nora takes one whiff and nearly passes out, because of course Scott is a Hardcore Bad Boy and is drinking hardcore stuff. Nora guesses it’s motor oil, but he says it’s his own recipe.
Scott leans back in the sand and somehow this triggers Nora to tell us what the two of them are wearing. Scott then decides, absolutely out of nowhere, to ask why she wasn’t ditching the party for homework. This prompts Nora to give him a “slanted” look in his direction (just…what?) and tell him “The jerk act is starting to get old”. Funny. You liked it well enough when Patch pulled it on you. Or did it fly with him because he wasn’t acting like a jerk? Scott, meanwhile, just is all smiles and says that he really does like her being all nerdish and lame because “Lame is going to help me pass my junior year. Particularly English”. Nora assumes that he wants to do to all his homework for him, instead of that he wants tutoring, and promptly refuses. And yes, that was what Scott was angling for, and he basically says that he can use the old “Scott Charm” to change her mind.
Nora scoffs at this, since she finds Scott much less than charming. Hon, he may not be on the level of, say, Klavier Gavin, but I’d say he has a lot more charm than Patch. Scott decides to explain his charm to her and…uh… this happens
“’No girl can resist the Charm. I’m telling you, they go wild for it. Here are the basics: I’m drunk twenty-four/seven, I can’t hold a job, can’t pass basic math, and I spend my days playing video games and passing out.’
I flung my head back, feeling my shoulders shake as I laughed. I was beginning to think I liked the drunk version of Scott better than the sober one. Who would have figured Scott for self-deprecating?”
ZeldaQueen: She laughs at him. He’s rambling about how much his life sucks and all she thinks is “Ha ha, Scott’s so much fun when he’s drunk!” What the Hell, Nora? Or rather, what the Hell Fitzpatrick? Because while Nora’s the one laughing at the misfortune of another, Fitzpatrick is the one who wrote the scene and thought it was legitimately funny. No, really. This is supposed to be comedy.
Self-deprecation can be funny, I know. I’ve used it before, myself. But there’s a difference between self-deprecation like “I’ve got two left feet” or “vampires do more during the day than me” and saying things like “I’m constantly drunk and failing in life because of it”. I honestly can’t hear the latter in anything other than a bitter, defeated tone.
Scott, meanwhile, laughs along with Nora as she has a jest at his sucky life. She tells him that maybe his life will improve if he stops drinking. I really hope that wasn’t supposed to be a serious attempt to get him to go straight, because I’d hope Nora wasn’t stupid enough to think all one has to do to get an alcoholic clean is go “You know booze is the reason your life sucks? Just stop drinking and you’ll do great! :D”
The response Scott has to this is that “My life sucks when I’m only half-aware of it. If I quit drinking and saw what it’s really like, I’d probably jump off a bridge”. He adds that “When I’m wasted, I can almost forget who I am” and that it’s “a good place to be”. The response we get from Nora, our kind and compassionate heroine?
“Yeah, well, my life isn’t so great either”
ZeldaQueen: That’s right! No “I’m sorry” or “What’s going on?” or “Is there anything I can do?” No expressions of sympathy or sorrow or hopes that things go better. Nope! She just launches straight into “My life’s worse, so pity meeeeee!!!” Specifically, she’s bringing up her dead dad. You know, the one she hasn’t thought about in favor of wangsting over Patch? The one who may or may not still be alive and trying to kill her, but we don’t know because she’s stopped giving a shit? Yeah, that one.
Scott is the better person and actually offers sympathy over this, saying it wasn’t her fault. Nora tells him that it makes it worse for her, because if it was her fault somehow then she could just blame herself and move on. Normally I could understand that thinking, but Nora has not shown the inclination to move on from anything. Of course, that’s following what Fitzpatrick intended for the story. If we look at it in terms of how much Nora actually appears affected by the death, I’d say she’s moved on quite well already. In fact, she hardly gave her dad any thought at all in the first book!
At this point a convenient rainstorm starts up, which apparently is enough to piss off a group of teenagers who are worked up and probably already in swimming gear. The teenagers I know would be just as likely to keep partying in the rain, but whatever. Scott randomly shouts his address and that there’s a party at his place, and everyone cheers and runs off.
Do…people actually do that? I know folks can be pretty easygoing when it comes to party locations, but there’s no indication that any of these people know Scott or his place. They don’t know how large the apartment is, what’s there besides beer in the fridge, if there’d be music, or any of that. I could understand if a few people took him up on his offer, but the text has it that everyone at this party heads over to his place.
Anyway, Scott invites Nora to catch a ride with him to the new location. Nora passes, because “Patch wasn’t here. He was the sole reason I’d come, and suddenly the night felt not only like a letdown, but a waste as well. I should have been relieved at not having to see Patch and Marcie together, but I mostly felt disappointed, lonely, and full of regret”. Jesus Christ, are you ever happy?!? And do you ever do anything that doesn’t tie back to Patch???
Scott then tries to get Nora to drive him home, because he’s too drunk to drive himself. Because heaven forbid there be any character in this series who doesn’t try to manipulate Nora to any degree.
We end the chapter with her agreeing when he points out that she’ll get to drive his Mustang. She tries to get him to sell it to her for thirty bucks, which he turns down, joking that he’s not drunk enough to fall for it. And finally, this chapter ends. Good riddance! Wasn't this chapter fun, considering how about 90% of it was COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO THE PLOT AT LARGE? Tune in next time for more relationship shenanigans. As always, ladies and gentlemen, it only gets dumber
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 82
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