Crescendo: Chapter 12 (Part 1)
ZeldaQueen: Another two-parter, because this chapter is killing me with the stupid.
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 12 (Part 1)
ZeldaQueen: We start off this chapter with Nora yet again in no way acting like she underwent traumatic events not long ago. It’s now Tuesday after class, at about noon. Thus, it’s been a little more than half a day since she was drugged, imprisoned, chased by someone clearly dangerous, partook in a car chase, and was ridiculed by a police officer and slapped with a hefty ticket. And now, she’s thinking of none of it. It might as well as not have happened, that’s how little impact there is. There’s no questions, no concern, no fear that her kidnapper might be stalking her now, nothing. It’s like she’s operating under the notion that the shadowy dude after her only was able to chase her for that one night. Does it not occur to her that he might know where she lives? Especially since she thinks that Patch is involved? Apparently not! She hasn’t even called her mom about this, so she’s just staying at home, all alone, with someone after her still on the loose. And she’s not thinking about it at all.
You know, I’m starting to think that my theory about Nora’s brain being reset between chapters is right. Either that, or she seriously did get brain damage after she died at the end of the last book.
On a minor note, apparently Nora’s got a four-hour, five-day-a-week summer school class. One class. Does it seriously work like that? Because four hours for a full school week for a single class sounds pretty excessive, to me.
Anyway, Nora goes looking for Vee, who we’re informed skipped class for a date with Rixon, but was still picking Nora up. So…Vee’s in summer class? That’s the first I’ve heard of that. And I must say, that makes Vee look incredibly stupid, and not like your average fun-loving teen (which is what I’m sure Fitzpatrick was going for). You don’t take high school summer classes on a whim, you know. You take them because you failed a course. And Vee is skipping her remedial classes for a date with her boyfriend, who she’s always running off with and who apparently has to see her for the only four hours of the day that she’s busy. That just makes both of them look fantastic. Folks, feel free to imagine Vee getting grounded for years after her non-existent parents find out that she flunked her summer school courses because she skipped them for dates with her twenty-something boyfriend who all but lives in a bar.
Nora asks Vee if it was worth cutting class for the date, and Vee says it was. *rolls eyes* Again, we’ll see how much she’s thinking that when she flunks. Of course, it’s unlikely that this will happen, because I’m sure Fitzpatrick can’t be bothered with silly consequences like reality ensuing. Anywho, Vee says that she and Rixon were playing Halo 2. I’m assuming that was from Rixon, since there’s been no mention of Vee being into video games at all. Twenty bucks says he stole the system and games. Nora snarks about how romantic that date must have been, but Vee tells her “Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.” Normally I’d think that’s all well and good, because different people have different ideas about what a fun date entails (and Nora and Patch’s dates are just about as interesting as Bella and Edward’s), but Vee then goes on to say that “Violence really puts guys in the mood.”
*boggles* Um, I know people joke about testosterone poisoning and the idea that Real Men are Killers and how Manly Men get turned on by carnage, but… considering how the last book had a bad-boy fallen angel be really into the idea of murdering his love interest, and instead settle on throwing her on a bed and terrifying her… um…
VEE. WAKE UP AND RUN AWAY AS FAR AND AS FAST AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!!!
Not to mention, Vee’s last boyfriend locked her in the high school, threatened to kill her, and tried to kill Nora. Why is she so pleased at the idea of her new boyfriend loving death and destruction? Has she learned nothing?
(She hasn’t.)
Oh, but there’s another reason! Nora asks what Vee meant by “in the mood”. Most of us would reply “She means he gets a boner over it, you idiot!” but that’s…well, not quite it. Just have a look -
“Vee flashed a hundred-watt grin. ‘We kissed. Oh man, it was good. It started out all slow and gentle, and then Rixon really started getting into it-’
‘Okay!’ I cut in loudly. Had I been this sappy when Patch and I were together and Vee was odd man out? I prayed not.”
ZeldaQueen: And here is probably as good a point as any to bring up something kind of strange about this book. Well, one thing rather strange, at least.
Vee said that Rixon got “in the mood”. She said it in reference to killing stuff, which as I said, is usually a joke that men get horny over that sort of thing. She’s describing what they’re doing in a very suggestive way. Every single thing she’s been saying has done nothing but suggest they boinked. Yet what does Vee say they did?
They kissed.
I realize that what constitutes excessive physical affection varies from person to person. But I would think that most teenagers would be used to the idea of kissing that, even if they themselves hadn’t done it before, it wouldn’t warrant that level of euphoria in describing it. I mean, I could maybe see Vee saying “We made out. It was great!” or “Rixon is one fantastic kisser!” but to talk about it in those terms?
And Nora’s reaction makes even less sense. She’s acting like she’s hearing something vaguely obscene or overly personal. When I was in high school, most of the students I knew wouldn’t have considered kissing to be that way, though, not even if something was considered overly sappy (which no, Fitzpatrick, is not how Vee is acting. She’s not calling Rixon "cuddlebear" or "sugarlumps" or waxing poetry about him. Nor has Nora been particularly sappy over Patch, especially aloud). That sort of reaction would be given for a Too Much Information scenario…like if the person was describing having sex.
So normally, my assumption would be that they were having sex, and Fitzpatrick was using some sort of euphemism so she wouldn’t have to outright state it. But that doesn’t make much sense when you consider how Marcie is treated. She’s the one who’s more obviously boinking, or at least engaging in behavior associated with sex. Everything she does that’s remotely related to sex is demonized by Nora. It’s treated like it’s the worst thing ever. Yet if Vee is doing the same, Nora’s only acting mildly annoyed.
You could argue that it’s just Nora using double standards, like she tends to. Marcie is Bad so she’s a skank, but Vee is Good so it’s fine if she does it, and all that noise. Okay, but remember who Vee’s boyfriend is. Like Patch, Rixon is a fallen angel.
Yeah. Fallen angels in this series can’t feel anything physical. Thus, sexual stimulation should be impossible. In short, dear Rixon should find it quite difficult to get it up. And that’s not just me saying it. If you recall, the last book implied that he had to wait until he was body-snatching his Nephilim slave to have sex with some woman he met.
Somehow, I doubt Vee would be so gleeful about having sex if Rixon spent the entire time apparently being unable to raise the flagpole, so to speak.
And Vee’s little date with Rixon isn’t the only place this is noticeable with. When Nora dreams of Patch being deprived of her touch, it’s him being unable to feel her kisses…even though kissing involves relatively little physical contact (at least theirs does, since there’s no mention of them using the tongue) and doesn’t rely on stimulation to work. And I already brought up how Vee’s “You need a good old-fashioned make-out session to cheer you up” is like a G-rated version of “You need to get laid”.
So to sum it all up, when Vee and Nora talk about making out with their boyfriends? It looks like that’s all they’re talking about. Kissing is treated like the height of passion, with Marcie’s sex being something nasty and indecent. If you want to take it farther, the most direct references to sex we’ve gotten are how the fallen angels slept with humans and bred the Nephilim - in short, how sex was used to create an allegedly monstrous race.
I think most of you guys know that high school students have sex. It depends, of course, on the person and their feelings on the matter, but it goes on. Even if a teenager isn’t having sex, they’re no doubt aware of it. And by that point in their lives, I doubt that kissing is held as the most spectacular and intimate thing a couple can do. This all just feels like how Meyer would try to handle adult matters, only to giggle behind her hand, except that this is more immature than Meyer. At least she directly brought up sex, and had Bella ask for it!
It’s like there’s something that was trying to be said, but I really can’t figure it out and it’s bugging me. I dunno. *shakes head*
Nora asks Vee what their plans are, and Vee announces that she’s tired of studying. When the flip has Vee ever studied? The only time we hear her talking about schoolwork is when she skips it! Anyway, she wants to go to the beach. This leads to a pointless bit where Nora thinks about how great going to the beach sounds, but it’ll have to wait, because there are other things they have to do. After all, tonight’s Marcie’s party, and Nora’s dragging Vee there!
First of all, if Nora already knew about the party, why did she bother asking what Vee wanted to do? Second of all, why can’t they do both? It’s noon, and the party’s apparently at night. Is this beach a rare sort that’s closed in the afternoon, or something?
So Vee reads a text message reminder Nora got about the party, and actually grimaces. She wants to know when Nora became such good friends with Marcie that she decided to go. I want to know that as well. I was always taught that if a person bullied you, it was not a good idea to go out of your way to spend time around them. Unfortunately, Vee’s decent point is ruined when she follows up with “She’s such a ho. Missing her party is the surest way to make my life complete.”
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 61
First, since when has Vee ever used words like “ho” before?
Second of all, I’m pretty sure Marcie couldn’t care less if you skipped her party, Vee. Unlike you or Nora, she isn’t emotionally dependant on other folks.
Third of all, shut the fuck up.
Nora informs Vee that they both are going to the party. That just makes Nora look fantastic, doesn’t it? Vee made it very clear she doesn’t want to go, yet Nora’s making her go anyway? Oh well, I guess Vee owes her one for calling her to that grope-fest party back in Hush, Hush which, if you’ll recall, got her scammed by a crazy lady and caused her to be caught in the motel by Patch.
Vee demands to know why Marcie even invited Nora. Again, I’d love to know! The whole thing sounds like the set-up for some ridiculous revenge plot, like how Elle was tricked into wearing a Playboy bunny outfit to a party in Legally Blonde. The thing is, we never get payoff like that! Nora and Vee go to the party, they get in, they wander around, and they leave. Marcie hardly even interacts with them! So why does she invite them over? Nearest I can tell, it’s so she can scam the two of them out of twenty bucks. I can’t believe it’s that though, because are we seriously supposed to believe that having them cough up ten bucks apiece is worth it to drag them over?
Well, Nora herself gives no reason other than that the two of them are chemistry partners. Vee points out that Nora’s being rather forgiving of the black eye Marcie gave her. Oh yeah, that happened. Remember? I pretty much forgot about it myself, that’s how insignificant it’s been.
Nora decides to finally let us know why she’s going to the party. Boy howdy, does she!
“I knew it was a lame excuse, but not as lame as the truth. I needed to make absolutely certain Patch had moved on to Marcie. When I’d touched his scars two nights ago and been transported into his memory, he’d seemed reserved with Marcie. Up until their kiss, he’d even been short with her. I hadn’t made up my mind how he felt about her. But if he’d moved on, it would make it that much easier for me to do likewise. A confirmed relationship between Patch and Marcie would make it easy to hate him. And I wanted to hate him. For both our sakes.
‘Your breath smells like liar, liar pants on fire,’ Vee said. ‘This isn’t about you and Marcie. This is about Patch and Marcie. You want to find out what’s going on between them.’
I tossed my hands in the air. ‘Fine! Is that so wrong?’
‘Man,” she said, wagging her head, “you really are a glutton for punishment.’
‘I thought maybe we could look in her bedroom. See if we find anything that proves they’re together.’”
ZeldaQueen: …Yes, folks. That’s it. That’s why she’s going to this party. Not to relax or make friends or anything. She’s going there so she can break into Marcie’s bedroom, and search through her underwear drawer. Why? Fuck if I know! Nora already was CERTAIN that Patch was involved with Marcie! And no, this isn’t her second-guessing herself! This is Fitzpatrick coming up with a contrived excuse for Nora to obsess over the breakup some more, instead of doing something sensible and healthy, like putting it out of her mind!
Jesus H. Christ! Has Nora had any goals that haven’t involved Patch to some degree? She’d sure he’s behind the drugging of her, she dates Scott to annoy him, she’s using the new car she wants as a symbol of getting him out of her life (which fails, because SHE ISN’T), and now she’s only going to a party so that she can spy on the host to find out more about Patch! I know this was bad before, but I’m just losing it at this point. Stephenie Meyer pretended that Bella had interests that weren’t Edward Cullen! See, that’s how bad this is! Nora Grey is even duller and has even less personality than BELLA FUCKING SWAN. SHE HAS NO PERSONALITY OR IDENTITY OF HER OWN THAT IS NOT TIED TO HER ASSHOLE OF A BOYFRIEND. AND NO, I WILL NOT SAY “EX-BOYFRIEND” BECAUSE WE KNOW SHE’LL GO RUNNING BACK TO HIM THE INSTANT HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS FOR HER!!!
*ROARS IN FURY*
*pants until she de-Hulks*
*glances at the previous rant* Um, if it wasn’t obvious back there, this was the point where my brain quit. I’m dead serious about this, incidentally. I was in the public library, when I read this bit. I got to the part where Nora said she’d be going through Marcie’s room, and a voice in my head told me to get to the end of the paragraph, close the book, and hit myself over the head with it, right there in the library. And I did. It was most cathartic.
So, erm, yeah. I’d like to bring up that this is obviously where Fitzpatrick had no idea what to write. She just had an action scene and isn’t going to be having another for a good long while, and we’ve gone a whole couple of chapters without Patch making a reappearance. Thus, we need this contrived way to get him back in the picture. And don’t think this is the end of this scenario, incidentally. Nora’s strategy for investigation in this book seems to be to simply break into someone’s bedroom, poke around, and steal anything remotely interesting.
I’d also like to ask why she’s doing this for “both” of their sakes. On her side, she doesn’t see her hang-up on Patch as unhealthy, or at least not enough so to do something about it. On his side, why would she even care about his sake? The last we heard of the two of them, she hated him!
Which leads to the next point. Oh, Nora simply must break into Marcie’s room, right? It’s the only possible way for her to get over Patch. If she
doesn’t find evidence that Patch is dating Marcie, there’s simply no way she can hate him enough to get over him.
We’re going to ignore the events of the last book, mainly because Nora herself has, and no one else seems to consider taking her to a motel, all but raping her, and telling her he wants to kill her to be bad things. Instead, let us look at the things Patch has done in this book. Things which Nora has very clearly stated that upset or anger her.
He broke into her dream, refusing to leave even after she told him to. She later said she found him doing this frightening.
He stole her father’s ring, which yes she gave him, but she also made clear was very valuable to her and only given because Patch was her boyfriend. She was extremely angry with him over this, saying that it was proof that his soul was “black”.
As far as Nora knows, Patch sent her a drugged card just yesterday, leading to her passing out for two hours and having to run for her life out of the library and getting a huge speeding ticket to boot.
Are we to believe that none of those things are sufficient to make her hate him enough to want him gone for good? That him being with Marcie really trumps all of that?
Yes. Yes we are. After all, we all know Marcie’s an evil, evil whore, and him dating her is infinitely worse than theft, drugging, or mind rape.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 62
On a different note, I’d like to ask if anybody in this day and age actually says things like “Your breath smells like liar, liar, pants on fire”. Or why Fitzpatrick said Vee “wagged” her head, instead of “shook”, like any sane person. Are we to take from this that Vee really is a dog’s ass?
Finally, yes I know that people move past breakups in different ways. But Nora’s way is decidedly criminal and batshit insane to boot. And no one notices. No one points out that she’s being the exact picture of the insane ex who stalks her former boyfriend and whichever girl he hooks up with, breaks into their house, and vandalizes their stuff (which, incidentally, is what [name here] did to her ex and his new wife, after he cheated on her and then dumped her. The story ended with [name] breaking into said husband and new wife’s house and shooting them both while they were asleep, so I’m really thinking Marcie should head for the hills..)
Certainly Vee doesn’t notice this. Naturally, the stupid tit thinks that breaking into Marcie’s room is a grand idea. She suggests that Nora look for used condoms, because dur-hur, Marcie’s a whore!
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 63
I’d like to point out that if Marcie’s as big a whore as we’re led to believe, how would Vee and Nora know that she used a condom with Patch, and not some other schmuck? Would the condom just naturally be more perfect and smell like mint, just because it was used on Patch’s angelic bratwurst?
Nora damn near has a heart attack at the thought of Marcie and Patch bumping uglies. “Patch wouldn’t do that to me. Not with Marcie”. Again, of course sex with Marcie is much worse than the other things she thinks he did! Did we see her sitting around, going “Patch wouldn’t drug me! It couldn’t be him!” or “There must be some mistake! Patch wouldn’t steal my ring!” Nope. She (rather disturbingly) just accepts those as things he’s capable of. So why is sex with Marcie suddenly the Unbelievable Action?
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 64
This also ties back to my discussion earlier. This is apparently the very first time that it occurs to Nora that Patch is screwing Marcie. She saw Patch getting into her car, and apparently that never occurred to her. What, did she assume they went in the back of Marcie’s car for a cup of coffee?
So once again, we can only conclude that all the times Nora has been seething about Patch being up to something with Marcie, she must have thought they were…hugging or kissing or something. Hell if I know. I’m rapidly losing the will to figure this out, or care about it. I will, however, remind all viewers of a detail that Fitzpatrick appears to have forgotten - PATCH IS A FALLEN ANGEL. THUS, HE CAN’T FEEL ANYTHING. LIKE RIXON, HE CAN’T GET IT UP. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE THINK SEX WORKS???
*tiredly* I really am not going to last, at this rate.
Oh, and before anyone else brings it up, yes I’m aware that there are sexual things that can be done that don’t involve Patch needing to get aroused. In fact, given how…erm, experienced both he and Marcie are supposed to be, I’d buy that the two of them know of ways to work around the issue. A couple of points, though.
First of all, I doubt Fitzpatrick knows about those methods much more than Meyer does.
Second of all, I doubt Marcie would keep Patch around if he didn’t live up to her expectations. She’s supposed to be a bitchy Mean Girl, right? She’s supposed to have access to any guy she wants, isn’t she? So why should we believe that she’d keep Patch around if he isn’t able to give her what she wants? Are we to buy that she’s that petty and spiteful towards Nora that she’s keeping Patch just to upset her? Seriously? Because that right there is lame chick flick material, that is.
Third of all, what would Patch be getting out of it? There are only so many reasons people have sex, you know. He can’t be having it for enjoyment of the sex itself since, as has been established multiple times, that’s impossible for him. He can’t feel anything physically, so it shouldn’t do anything for him without any emotional involvement.
Which is another possibility - he’s having sex with Marcy because he really loves her. Yeah. You can all imagine how likely that is. Leaving aside the fact that Patch obviously doesn’t love anyone, do we really think that this series isn’t going to end with Patch and Nora getting back together? But okay, Nora’s dumb as a post and doesn’t know that. So let’s keep this in mind for a minute.
The last point is…to spite Nora. He’s specifically having sex with Marcie because he knows Nora hates her and thus would be upset by it. He’s not getting enjoyment from the sex, but from the knowledge that he’s hurting his ex-girlfriend.
So, of the reasons Patch would be boinking Marcie? It either is that he genuinely has fallen in love with her - a girl who Nora hates more than anyone in the world, and who we’re to believe is Satan incarnate - or because he wants to hurt Nora.
If Nora thinks that there’s the possibility of Patch and Marcie having that sort of a relationship (and given that she doesn’t write it off as ridiculous, she does seem to), then what does that say about her view of Patch? She thinks he’s capable of doing that sort of thing? Well, that just makes their relationship look great! I know I am constantly sure that my boyfriend will run off and sleep with other girls, just to upset me! And hey, it’s natural for people to be suspicious of their partners cheating on them! Everyone knows it, we’re just too proud or ashamed to admit it!
At this point, Vee hits upon a fantastic idea! If Nora’s going to be breaking into Marcie’s room and going through her stuff, why not look for her diary! Because not only does Marcie apparently keep one, but she also seems to actively brag about how it’s filled to the brim with scandalous things!
ZeldaQueen: This is just the dress-discarding scene all over. I don’t care how stupid this girl is. She’s writing this stuff in a diary. Which means she doesn’t want it read. Who the fuck does that and then tells people what sort of stuff’s in it? If she insists on doing that, why not record her various escapades on a blog, where she can brag about it under the safety of a username?
Whatever. Vee is all gleeful about nosing through someone’s private things, and I want to punch her. Nora, shockingly, has something akin to a normal human reaction, and thinks that it’s a bad idea. Vee insists that it’ll be fine, and they can easily poke through it and get it put back before Marcie catches them. Oh yes, that’s so reassuring! I mean, since when have Vee’s Grand Plans gone off without hitches?
Nora, amazingly, manages to stick to her guns a little longer and argue that it “just seems wrong” to do that. That’s because it is wrong! Vee, brainless dolt that she is, doesn’t grasp this idea. Instead, she argues that it’ll be fine because they won’t tell anyone what they read, and “It’s not wrong if nobody gets hurt”.
First of all, even not knowing about a moment of “komedy” up ahead, if anyone expected me to buy that those two wouldn’t blab every secret Marcie wrote down, I’d be pissed that my intelligence was so severely insulted. In fact, just keep that lovely little quote in mind for a bit.
Second of all, I don’t know how many of you folks have read the Sammy Keyes series. Now that is a good young adult series about a high school girl who’s a detective. Very well thought out, and pretty well-written. One book has Sammy go into a similar situation. She is blackmailed to find a rich bitch’s dog, with said rich bitch having a little black book filled with dirt on everyone in town. At the end of the book, Sammy steals it and immediately burns it. She’s plenty tempted to read it, but she saw how twisted people can get if they become obsessed with digging up people’s secrets, and decided it was far better to stay away from there.
I would dearly love to introduce Nora and Vee to Sammy, if only for Sammy to slap them upside their fool heads.
And how does Nora respond to all of this?
“I wasn’t sold on stealing Marcie’s diary, but I could tell Vee wasn’t going to let it drop. The most important thing was getting her to agree to come to the party with me. I wasn’t sure I was courageous enough to go on my own. Especially since I couldn’t count on having a single friend there. So I said, ‘You’ll pick me up tonight, then?’”
ZeldaQueen: *buries face in her hands* Okay. First thing’s first. A spitefic.
‘You’ll pick me up tonight, then?’
Vee gave me a strange look. “No, of course not! Why did you think I would?”
What? What was she saying? “Well, I agreed with you about getting the diary, didn’t I? That’s what you wanted, so -”
“Woah, woah, wait a minute! Hold on!” Vee waved her hands, cutting me off. “You were actually going to go through with that? You thought I was being serious?”
“Weren’t you?”
“I was joking, Nora! Hell, I thought you were joking about breaking into Marcie’s room! I figured as long as you were being ridiculous, I might as well be!”
She thought I was joking? How could she possibly have come to that conclusion? “No, I meant it! I just need to look around her room for a little bit. I’ll find proof that Patch is dating Marcie and I’ll…what is it?”
Vee was giving me that look again. “Babe, are you even listening to yourself?” she asked.
“Yes!”
“No, I don’t think you are. Otherwise, I don’t know how you can think your idea is the least bit okay.”
“My idea is fine, alright? It’ll just be a minute, I won’t take anything, and then I’ll leave. I’m not doing anything wrong!”
“Nothing wrong besides breaking into someone’s room, you mean. Didn’t you already get in trouble with the police last night, Nora? Are you trying to get thrown in juvie?”
“Look,” I said, dangerously close to losing my temper, “I thought you didn’t like me being with Patch.”
“I don’t.”
“Well then, this is the only way for me to get over him!”
Now Vee really had a weird look on her face. She put her hands on my shoulders and leaned in, so that I had no choice but to look her in the eye. “Babe,” she said. “Listen to me. This isn’t going to help you get over Patch.”
“Of course it is!”
“No. It isn’t. You want to know why? You aren’t letting go of him. He’s given you plenty of reasons to hate him enough to get rid of him. You just keep overlooking them, though.”
“What? What are you talking about?” I tried to pull away from her. “Patch is the most wonderful guy I’ve ever met, and you -”
“Then why does he treat you like shit?”
I froze, shocked at hearing Vee use language like that. “H-he doesn’t…he never…”
“Don’t even tell me he doesn’t, Nora. Don’t even.”
“Look, things haven’t been great, but he’s got a lot going on. You don’t know him like I do.”
“Maybe not, but from what I’ve seen, he hurt you enough to make you dump him, after you clung to him nonstop for the past two months. Suddenly, you’re obsessing over him more than you’ve obsessed over anything before you met him. And I don’t mean that in a good way,” she added, as I opened my mouth. “Not to mention, it’s a pretty crazy coincidence how you and Patch just happened to run into each other after you told him you never wanted to see him again?”
“So? Coincidences happen.”
“Like how you just happened to run into him all the time, when he first showed up, before you two began dating?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Okay, let’s go for a more straightforward point. Didn’t you call me last night, scared out of your mind and completely convinced that Patch drugged you?”
My mind froze. I tried to say something, but my mouth wouldn’t work. I tried to stare at my shoes. This was insane. Vee was my best friend! Why did I feel like I was getting lectured by my mother?
“Well?” Vee prompted, when there was no answer.
“I…I think I was mist -”
“You didn’t sound very mistaken last night, and you don’t sound convinced it was a mistake right now! So Nora, how could anything you possibly find in Marcie’s room make you hate Patch more than him drugging you? Why is this the be-all, end-all for getting over him?”
“Because if I find out he’s dating Marcie, I’ll hate enough to forget about him!” Why couldn’t Vee get that?
“No, it’s because you won’t let this die! You keep drudging up Patch over and over. Even if you find something in Marcie’s room, so what? You’ll just decided that it’s not good enough to make you hate him. Or you’ll think you need something else to convince you. You can’t get over Patch because you won’t let yourself. So I go with you to break into Marcie’s room, and what then? What will you do after that?”
I had no answer.
ZeldaQueen: And that sums it all up, I’d say. It’s just more of the same. Nora’s still being a spineless shit who’s convinced that this is something she must do, and thus is letting Vee shove her around. Why the fuck is she so focused on investigating this, but doesn’t even think to investigate the library, where she was knocked out at??? PRIORITIES. SHE HAS NONE.
*breathes deeply, so as to prevent passing out from anger*
Anyway, we end this scene with some comedy, in which Vee suggests setting Marcie’s room on fire while they’re in there. Given that they’re actually breaking into the room to begin with, that’s not funny in the least bit.
We jump ahead to nine in the evening, as Vee and Nora are going to the party. So…did they just sit in the car for the rest of the day? If they did other stuff, why did Nora make it sound like it was either the party or the beach? Whatever. Instead of filling those holes, we are “treated” to Nora’s explanation as to how the town is laid out according to class -
“Coldwater’s socioeconomic map is easily determined by a simple test: Drop a marble on any street in town. If the marble rolls downhill, you’re upper class. If the marble doesn’t roll at all, you’re middle class. And if you lose the marble in a vapor of fog before you have a chance to find out if it rolls, you’re … well, you live in my neighborhood. The backwoods”
ZeldaQueen: Normally, I wouldn’t be paying much attention to this. Yes, it comes right out of nowhere and in no way relates to what else goes on, but that’s hardly new. And I know there are plenty of towns that have areas that are more wealthy as well as areas that are less so.
Here’s the thing though - this is a bit like the whole kissing/sex issue I brought up before. There’s this weird classism theme that is going through this book and it’s only there enough to be bothersome. The overall attitude towards the upper class and wealthy sounds decidedly…bitter. It’s like the opposite of Twilight, and its messages of how the rich are elegant and sophisticated while the less wealthy are uneducated hicks.
And like I said, it’s not exactly prominent, so I don’t get the feeling we’re supposed to be getting any morals from it or anything. Nor do I get the sense that this is a part of Nora’s narrative, like that she herself is upset or resentful that her family doesn’t have much money (for starters, if we didn’t get the token reminder, I wouldn’t even remember Nora was living with less money).
And it’s a very uncomfortable feeling, this underlying theme. Jules, in the last book, was revealed to be a nobleman and have a vast fortune. Elliot was notable for going from being a poor student to affording his own apartment and attending a prestigious private school. And now, we have the Millers, whose big characterization is that they’re rich and thus jerks. And it’s not done as an examination of the upper class, like The Great Gatsby. It’s done in the same way that Marcie’s love of sex is. Marcie’s love of sex is a quick and easy way to show she’s Evil, and the Millers being rich is a quick and easy way to show we’re not supposed to like them.
Just keep all this in mind, particularly the fact that for as much as we’re told, Mr. Miller made his money through being a salesman. Every dollar Patch made, which is apparently more than enough for him to get by on, came from gambling. And yet, we’re never told how amoral Patch is for that. We’re supposed to think he’s so cool.
Right. Moving on.
Vee’s driving the two of them through Nora’s neighborhood. We get an info dump from Nora about how the neighborhood’s old and the lawns are trimmed and the driveways are all in half-circles and all the other clichés about Rich People Houses. Vee asks what Marcie’s address is, and then proceeds to complain that the houses are so far back, she can’t read their street number. I’m not sure what those two statements have to do with each other, but whatever! Thanks for that pointless bashing! I mean, it’s not like houses close to the road ever are made difficult to read their numbers. Or that houses away from the roads put indicators of their street numbers by the street (has Fitzpatrick never seen those sorts of signs on lawns?) Or that the upper class live in houses near streets, and not five miles in, like the house in The Beverly Hillbillies.
Nora reads Vee the house number, which ought to do her no good if she can’t see the numbers to begin with. If you’re still expecting logic though, I’m afraid you need to learn to swallow bitter disappointment. They finally reach Marcie’s house, and Fitzpatrick spares no expense in making the party sound as over-the-top as possible. There is hip-hop music that’s blaring so loudly, it apparently is making the car vibrate (yet they’re able to hear each other just fine when they go inside, so whatever). There are large groups of people running inside. Oh, and the house is ginormous and expensive, causing Nora to wonder “why [Marcie] shoplifted. For the thrill of it? To escape her parents’ carefully and perfectly crafted image?” I…kinda thought it was already established that she shoplifted for the fun of it, considering how we’ve been told since the word “Go” that she’s a spoiled rich girl.
Not to mention given how little we know about her parents, that bit about a “carefully and perfectly crafted image” means precisely jack shit. What is that supposed to even mean? We haven’t been told that they’re constantly attending functions, or forcing Marcie to join organizations and apply to certain colleges, or working to get associated with charity groups or any of that. They aren’t involved in politics or any sort of social position. All we know is that they belong to a boating club and possibly don’t like their daughter visiting a beach after hours, when it’s infested with drug dealers.
Oh, no, wait. I know what it is. They’re rich, and that’s the sort of thing rich people do, right? Rich people are all fake and only care about their public image, right?
But oh well, no time to think about that! Nora has noticed that Patch’s Jeep is right there in the driveway, and immediately comes to the conclusion that he was the very first person to arrive. In fact, she thinks he was there hours before, “Doing what, I didn’t want to know”. Given how arbitrary people in this series are, they might have even been painting each other’s nails and reading Cosmopolitan! The horror!
And dear lord, Nora once again starts going on about her pain, and how this is just the sort of evidence she’d been looking for. Great. So go off and do something that you like, which isn’t dictated by that jackass. But no, she’s going ahead with her…erm, grand scheme. She tells Vee she thinks she’s going to throw up. Vee, charming as always, recommends doing it on Marcie’s property (…Marcie doesn’t own the place, dipshit) and, in an uncharacteristically perceptive moment, asks if Nora’s alright with Patch being there. Nora’s response is a thing of beauty.
“I set my jaw, tilting my chin up slightly. ‘Marcie invited me tonight. I have the same right to be here as Patch. I’m not going to let him dictate where I go and what I do.’ Funny, because that’s exactly what I was doing.”
ZeldaQueen: There it is. I can’t think of a thing to say about that. Nora just pointed out what every has been yelling at her! It just sporked itself for me!
No, wait, I can think of one thing. How are we supposed to believe this is good? Anyone? Fans? Fitzpatrick? She just said she’s letting her ex manipulate her. This is unhealthy. This is sad. It’s no different than Bella Swan wandering around the meadow, pathetically looking for some trace of Edward. You can’t even argue that she already wanted to go to the party and refuses to alter her plans for Patch, because she already was going there because of Patch!!! She NEVER wanted to go to this thing! She’s only doing it to feed her sick bile fascination over whether or not Marcie and Patch are an item!
So in other words, Nora’s spinelessness and willingness to get pushed around by Patch has moved from subtext to just plain text. That’s just lovely.
And folks, I shall give you a head’s up here. This section marks not only a ton of slut-shamming for Marcie, but for the party as a whole. Right off of the bat, we’re told how the living room is “crammed with bodies gyrating to Jay-Z” and Vee informs Nora that she’s leaving if she sees any panties.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 66
In fact, it’s going to become incredibly obvious why Nora and Vee have no friends aside from each other. It’s not that they’re the usual cool loser outcasts. It’s that they’re the most judgmental bitches on this side of Bella Swan.
Vee promptly starts mentally bracing herself, because this is Marcie’s house, so ewwww, Marcie’s stuff’s going to be in it! Out of absolutely nowhere, she wonders if they can find old pictures of Marcie’s dad, because Vee “can’t decide if it’s plastic surgery that makes [Mr. Miller] look so young, or just massive amounts of makeup”. Given that Mr. Miller has not been brought up at all in this entire conversation, Fitzpatrick might as well be hanging a neon “FORESHADOWING!” sign on that comment. Couple it with the apparently forgotten revelation that Nora had a dream of Mr. Miller in Ye Olden Times and gee, I wonder if there’s something about Mr. Miller that’s suspicious? You know, like how he doesn’t appear to be aging? But of course, that’s ridiculous! It’s not like there are characters in this universe that are immortal or anything!
ZeldaQueen: You know, I’m wondering if Fitzpatrick was told by her editor to go back and put in those dream scenes and other hints that there’s a plot beyond Patch Wangst. Either that, or she herself has been getting mind wiped and forgotten what she’s already revealed to her readers.
Aaaaand, we're taking a break here, ladies and gents. Tune in next sporking, when we find out the exciting conclusion of Nora the Insane Ex!
Be very afraid.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 66
Onward to: Chapter 12 (Part 2)
Return to: Chapter 11 (Part 2)
Back to Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 12 (Part 1)
ZeldaQueen: We start off this chapter with Nora yet again in no way acting like she underwent traumatic events not long ago. It’s now Tuesday after class, at about noon. Thus, it’s been a little more than half a day since she was drugged, imprisoned, chased by someone clearly dangerous, partook in a car chase, and was ridiculed by a police officer and slapped with a hefty ticket. And now, she’s thinking of none of it. It might as well as not have happened, that’s how little impact there is. There’s no questions, no concern, no fear that her kidnapper might be stalking her now, nothing. It’s like she’s operating under the notion that the shadowy dude after her only was able to chase her for that one night. Does it not occur to her that he might know where she lives? Especially since she thinks that Patch is involved? Apparently not! She hasn’t even called her mom about this, so she’s just staying at home, all alone, with someone after her still on the loose. And she’s not thinking about it at all.
You know, I’m starting to think that my theory about Nora’s brain being reset between chapters is right. Either that, or she seriously did get brain damage after she died at the end of the last book.
On a minor note, apparently Nora’s got a four-hour, five-day-a-week summer school class. One class. Does it seriously work like that? Because four hours for a full school week for a single class sounds pretty excessive, to me.
Anyway, Nora goes looking for Vee, who we’re informed skipped class for a date with Rixon, but was still picking Nora up. So…Vee’s in summer class? That’s the first I’ve heard of that. And I must say, that makes Vee look incredibly stupid, and not like your average fun-loving teen (which is what I’m sure Fitzpatrick was going for). You don’t take high school summer classes on a whim, you know. You take them because you failed a course. And Vee is skipping her remedial classes for a date with her boyfriend, who she’s always running off with and who apparently has to see her for the only four hours of the day that she’s busy. That just makes both of them look fantastic. Folks, feel free to imagine Vee getting grounded for years after her non-existent parents find out that she flunked her summer school courses because she skipped them for dates with her twenty-something boyfriend who all but lives in a bar.
Nora asks Vee if it was worth cutting class for the date, and Vee says it was. *rolls eyes* Again, we’ll see how much she’s thinking that when she flunks. Of course, it’s unlikely that this will happen, because I’m sure Fitzpatrick can’t be bothered with silly consequences like reality ensuing. Anywho, Vee says that she and Rixon were playing Halo 2. I’m assuming that was from Rixon, since there’s been no mention of Vee being into video games at all. Twenty bucks says he stole the system and games. Nora snarks about how romantic that date must have been, but Vee tells her “Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.” Normally I’d think that’s all well and good, because different people have different ideas about what a fun date entails (and Nora and Patch’s dates are just about as interesting as Bella and Edward’s), but Vee then goes on to say that “Violence really puts guys in the mood.”
*boggles* Um, I know people joke about testosterone poisoning and the idea that Real Men are Killers and how Manly Men get turned on by carnage, but… considering how the last book had a bad-boy fallen angel be really into the idea of murdering his love interest, and instead settle on throwing her on a bed and terrifying her… um…
VEE. WAKE UP AND RUN AWAY AS FAR AND AS FAST AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!!!
Not to mention, Vee’s last boyfriend locked her in the high school, threatened to kill her, and tried to kill Nora. Why is she so pleased at the idea of her new boyfriend loving death and destruction? Has she learned nothing?
(She hasn’t.)
Oh, but there’s another reason! Nora asks what Vee meant by “in the mood”. Most of us would reply “She means he gets a boner over it, you idiot!” but that’s…well, not quite it. Just have a look -
“Vee flashed a hundred-watt grin. ‘We kissed. Oh man, it was good. It started out all slow and gentle, and then Rixon really started getting into it-’
‘Okay!’ I cut in loudly. Had I been this sappy when Patch and I were together and Vee was odd man out? I prayed not.”
ZeldaQueen: And here is probably as good a point as any to bring up something kind of strange about this book. Well, one thing rather strange, at least.
Vee said that Rixon got “in the mood”. She said it in reference to killing stuff, which as I said, is usually a joke that men get horny over that sort of thing. She’s describing what they’re doing in a very suggestive way. Every single thing she’s been saying has done nothing but suggest they boinked. Yet what does Vee say they did?
They kissed.
I realize that what constitutes excessive physical affection varies from person to person. But I would think that most teenagers would be used to the idea of kissing that, even if they themselves hadn’t done it before, it wouldn’t warrant that level of euphoria in describing it. I mean, I could maybe see Vee saying “We made out. It was great!” or “Rixon is one fantastic kisser!” but to talk about it in those terms?
And Nora’s reaction makes even less sense. She’s acting like she’s hearing something vaguely obscene or overly personal. When I was in high school, most of the students I knew wouldn’t have considered kissing to be that way, though, not even if something was considered overly sappy (which no, Fitzpatrick, is not how Vee is acting. She’s not calling Rixon "cuddlebear" or "sugarlumps" or waxing poetry about him. Nor has Nora been particularly sappy over Patch, especially aloud). That sort of reaction would be given for a Too Much Information scenario…like if the person was describing having sex.
So normally, my assumption would be that they were having sex, and Fitzpatrick was using some sort of euphemism so she wouldn’t have to outright state it. But that doesn’t make much sense when you consider how Marcie is treated. She’s the one who’s more obviously boinking, or at least engaging in behavior associated with sex. Everything she does that’s remotely related to sex is demonized by Nora. It’s treated like it’s the worst thing ever. Yet if Vee is doing the same, Nora’s only acting mildly annoyed.
You could argue that it’s just Nora using double standards, like she tends to. Marcie is Bad so she’s a skank, but Vee is Good so it’s fine if she does it, and all that noise. Okay, but remember who Vee’s boyfriend is. Like Patch, Rixon is a fallen angel.
Yeah. Fallen angels in this series can’t feel anything physical. Thus, sexual stimulation should be impossible. In short, dear Rixon should find it quite difficult to get it up. And that’s not just me saying it. If you recall, the last book implied that he had to wait until he was body-snatching his Nephilim slave to have sex with some woman he met.
Somehow, I doubt Vee would be so gleeful about having sex if Rixon spent the entire time apparently being unable to raise the flagpole, so to speak.
And Vee’s little date with Rixon isn’t the only place this is noticeable with. When Nora dreams of Patch being deprived of her touch, it’s him being unable to feel her kisses…even though kissing involves relatively little physical contact (at least theirs does, since there’s no mention of them using the tongue) and doesn’t rely on stimulation to work. And I already brought up how Vee’s “You need a good old-fashioned make-out session to cheer you up” is like a G-rated version of “You need to get laid”.
So to sum it all up, when Vee and Nora talk about making out with their boyfriends? It looks like that’s all they’re talking about. Kissing is treated like the height of passion, with Marcie’s sex being something nasty and indecent. If you want to take it farther, the most direct references to sex we’ve gotten are how the fallen angels slept with humans and bred the Nephilim - in short, how sex was used to create an allegedly monstrous race.
I think most of you guys know that high school students have sex. It depends, of course, on the person and their feelings on the matter, but it goes on. Even if a teenager isn’t having sex, they’re no doubt aware of it. And by that point in their lives, I doubt that kissing is held as the most spectacular and intimate thing a couple can do. This all just feels like how Meyer would try to handle adult matters, only to giggle behind her hand, except that this is more immature than Meyer. At least she directly brought up sex, and had Bella ask for it!
It’s like there’s something that was trying to be said, but I really can’t figure it out and it’s bugging me. I dunno. *shakes head*
Nora asks Vee what their plans are, and Vee announces that she’s tired of studying. When the flip has Vee ever studied? The only time we hear her talking about schoolwork is when she skips it! Anyway, she wants to go to the beach. This leads to a pointless bit where Nora thinks about how great going to the beach sounds, but it’ll have to wait, because there are other things they have to do. After all, tonight’s Marcie’s party, and Nora’s dragging Vee there!
First of all, if Nora already knew about the party, why did she bother asking what Vee wanted to do? Second of all, why can’t they do both? It’s noon, and the party’s apparently at night. Is this beach a rare sort that’s closed in the afternoon, or something?
So Vee reads a text message reminder Nora got about the party, and actually grimaces. She wants to know when Nora became such good friends with Marcie that she decided to go. I want to know that as well. I was always taught that if a person bullied you, it was not a good idea to go out of your way to spend time around them. Unfortunately, Vee’s decent point is ruined when she follows up with “She’s such a ho. Missing her party is the surest way to make my life complete.”
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 61
First, since when has Vee ever used words like “ho” before?
Second of all, I’m pretty sure Marcie couldn’t care less if you skipped her party, Vee. Unlike you or Nora, she isn’t emotionally dependant on other folks.
Third of all, shut the fuck up.
Nora informs Vee that they both are going to the party. That just makes Nora look fantastic, doesn’t it? Vee made it very clear she doesn’t want to go, yet Nora’s making her go anyway? Oh well, I guess Vee owes her one for calling her to that grope-fest party back in Hush, Hush which, if you’ll recall, got her scammed by a crazy lady and caused her to be caught in the motel by Patch.
Vee demands to know why Marcie even invited Nora. Again, I’d love to know! The whole thing sounds like the set-up for some ridiculous revenge plot, like how Elle was tricked into wearing a Playboy bunny outfit to a party in Legally Blonde. The thing is, we never get payoff like that! Nora and Vee go to the party, they get in, they wander around, and they leave. Marcie hardly even interacts with them! So why does she invite them over? Nearest I can tell, it’s so she can scam the two of them out of twenty bucks. I can’t believe it’s that though, because are we seriously supposed to believe that having them cough up ten bucks apiece is worth it to drag them over?
Well, Nora herself gives no reason other than that the two of them are chemistry partners. Vee points out that Nora’s being rather forgiving of the black eye Marcie gave her. Oh yeah, that happened. Remember? I pretty much forgot about it myself, that’s how insignificant it’s been.
Nora decides to finally let us know why she’s going to the party. Boy howdy, does she!
“I knew it was a lame excuse, but not as lame as the truth. I needed to make absolutely certain Patch had moved on to Marcie. When I’d touched his scars two nights ago and been transported into his memory, he’d seemed reserved with Marcie. Up until their kiss, he’d even been short with her. I hadn’t made up my mind how he felt about her. But if he’d moved on, it would make it that much easier for me to do likewise. A confirmed relationship between Patch and Marcie would make it easy to hate him. And I wanted to hate him. For both our sakes.
‘Your breath smells like liar, liar pants on fire,’ Vee said. ‘This isn’t about you and Marcie. This is about Patch and Marcie. You want to find out what’s going on between them.’
I tossed my hands in the air. ‘Fine! Is that so wrong?’
‘Man,” she said, wagging her head, “you really are a glutton for punishment.’
‘I thought maybe we could look in her bedroom. See if we find anything that proves they’re together.’”
ZeldaQueen: …Yes, folks. That’s it. That’s why she’s going to this party. Not to relax or make friends or anything. She’s going there so she can break into Marcie’s bedroom, and search through her underwear drawer. Why? Fuck if I know! Nora already was CERTAIN that Patch was involved with Marcie! And no, this isn’t her second-guessing herself! This is Fitzpatrick coming up with a contrived excuse for Nora to obsess over the breakup some more, instead of doing something sensible and healthy, like putting it out of her mind!
Jesus H. Christ! Has Nora had any goals that haven’t involved Patch to some degree? She’d sure he’s behind the drugging of her, she dates Scott to annoy him, she’s using the new car she wants as a symbol of getting him out of her life (which fails, because SHE ISN’T), and now she’s only going to a party so that she can spy on the host to find out more about Patch! I know this was bad before, but I’m just losing it at this point. Stephenie Meyer pretended that Bella had interests that weren’t Edward Cullen! See, that’s how bad this is! Nora Grey is even duller and has even less personality than BELLA FUCKING SWAN. SHE HAS NO PERSONALITY OR IDENTITY OF HER OWN THAT IS NOT TIED TO HER ASSHOLE OF A BOYFRIEND. AND NO, I WILL NOT SAY “EX-BOYFRIEND” BECAUSE WE KNOW SHE’LL GO RUNNING BACK TO HIM THE INSTANT HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS FOR HER!!!
*ROARS IN FURY*
*pants until she de-Hulks*
*glances at the previous rant* Um, if it wasn’t obvious back there, this was the point where my brain quit. I’m dead serious about this, incidentally. I was in the public library, when I read this bit. I got to the part where Nora said she’d be going through Marcie’s room, and a voice in my head told me to get to the end of the paragraph, close the book, and hit myself over the head with it, right there in the library. And I did. It was most cathartic.
So, erm, yeah. I’d like to bring up that this is obviously where Fitzpatrick had no idea what to write. She just had an action scene and isn’t going to be having another for a good long while, and we’ve gone a whole couple of chapters without Patch making a reappearance. Thus, we need this contrived way to get him back in the picture. And don’t think this is the end of this scenario, incidentally. Nora’s strategy for investigation in this book seems to be to simply break into someone’s bedroom, poke around, and steal anything remotely interesting.
I’d also like to ask why she’s doing this for “both” of their sakes. On her side, she doesn’t see her hang-up on Patch as unhealthy, or at least not enough so to do something about it. On his side, why would she even care about his sake? The last we heard of the two of them, she hated him!
Which leads to the next point. Oh, Nora simply must break into Marcie’s room, right? It’s the only possible way for her to get over Patch. If she
doesn’t find evidence that Patch is dating Marcie, there’s simply no way she can hate him enough to get over him.
We’re going to ignore the events of the last book, mainly because Nora herself has, and no one else seems to consider taking her to a motel, all but raping her, and telling her he wants to kill her to be bad things. Instead, let us look at the things Patch has done in this book. Things which Nora has very clearly stated that upset or anger her.
He broke into her dream, refusing to leave even after she told him to. She later said she found him doing this frightening.
He stole her father’s ring, which yes she gave him, but she also made clear was very valuable to her and only given because Patch was her boyfriend. She was extremely angry with him over this, saying that it was proof that his soul was “black”.
As far as Nora knows, Patch sent her a drugged card just yesterday, leading to her passing out for two hours and having to run for her life out of the library and getting a huge speeding ticket to boot.
Are we to believe that none of those things are sufficient to make her hate him enough to want him gone for good? That him being with Marcie really trumps all of that?
Yes. Yes we are. After all, we all know Marcie’s an evil, evil whore, and him dating her is infinitely worse than theft, drugging, or mind rape.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 62
On a different note, I’d like to ask if anybody in this day and age actually says things like “Your breath smells like liar, liar, pants on fire”. Or why Fitzpatrick said Vee “wagged” her head, instead of “shook”, like any sane person. Are we to take from this that Vee really is a dog’s ass?
Finally, yes I know that people move past breakups in different ways. But Nora’s way is decidedly criminal and batshit insane to boot. And no one notices. No one points out that she’s being the exact picture of the insane ex who stalks her former boyfriend and whichever girl he hooks up with, breaks into their house, and vandalizes their stuff (which, incidentally, is what [name here] did to her ex and his new wife, after he cheated on her and then dumped her. The story ended with [name] breaking into said husband and new wife’s house and shooting them both while they were asleep, so I’m really thinking Marcie should head for the hills..)
Certainly Vee doesn’t notice this. Naturally, the stupid tit thinks that breaking into Marcie’s room is a grand idea. She suggests that Nora look for used condoms, because dur-hur, Marcie’s a whore!
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 63
I’d like to point out that if Marcie’s as big a whore as we’re led to believe, how would Vee and Nora know that she used a condom with Patch, and not some other schmuck? Would the condom just naturally be more perfect and smell like mint, just because it was used on Patch’s angelic bratwurst?
Nora damn near has a heart attack at the thought of Marcie and Patch bumping uglies. “Patch wouldn’t do that to me. Not with Marcie”. Again, of course sex with Marcie is much worse than the other things she thinks he did! Did we see her sitting around, going “Patch wouldn’t drug me! It couldn’t be him!” or “There must be some mistake! Patch wouldn’t steal my ring!” Nope. She (rather disturbingly) just accepts those as things he’s capable of. So why is sex with Marcie suddenly the Unbelievable Action?
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 64
This also ties back to my discussion earlier. This is apparently the very first time that it occurs to Nora that Patch is screwing Marcie. She saw Patch getting into her car, and apparently that never occurred to her. What, did she assume they went in the back of Marcie’s car for a cup of coffee?
So once again, we can only conclude that all the times Nora has been seething about Patch being up to something with Marcie, she must have thought they were…hugging or kissing or something. Hell if I know. I’m rapidly losing the will to figure this out, or care about it. I will, however, remind all viewers of a detail that Fitzpatrick appears to have forgotten - PATCH IS A FALLEN ANGEL. THUS, HE CAN’T FEEL ANYTHING. LIKE RIXON, HE CAN’T GET IT UP. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE THINK SEX WORKS???
*tiredly* I really am not going to last, at this rate.
Oh, and before anyone else brings it up, yes I’m aware that there are sexual things that can be done that don’t involve Patch needing to get aroused. In fact, given how…erm, experienced both he and Marcie are supposed to be, I’d buy that the two of them know of ways to work around the issue. A couple of points, though.
First of all, I doubt Fitzpatrick knows about those methods much more than Meyer does.
Second of all, I doubt Marcie would keep Patch around if he didn’t live up to her expectations. She’s supposed to be a bitchy Mean Girl, right? She’s supposed to have access to any guy she wants, isn’t she? So why should we believe that she’d keep Patch around if he isn’t able to give her what she wants? Are we to buy that she’s that petty and spiteful towards Nora that she’s keeping Patch just to upset her? Seriously? Because that right there is lame chick flick material, that is.
Third of all, what would Patch be getting out of it? There are only so many reasons people have sex, you know. He can’t be having it for enjoyment of the sex itself since, as has been established multiple times, that’s impossible for him. He can’t feel anything physically, so it shouldn’t do anything for him without any emotional involvement.
Which is another possibility - he’s having sex with Marcy because he really loves her. Yeah. You can all imagine how likely that is. Leaving aside the fact that Patch obviously doesn’t love anyone, do we really think that this series isn’t going to end with Patch and Nora getting back together? But okay, Nora’s dumb as a post and doesn’t know that. So let’s keep this in mind for a minute.
The last point is…to spite Nora. He’s specifically having sex with Marcie because he knows Nora hates her and thus would be upset by it. He’s not getting enjoyment from the sex, but from the knowledge that he’s hurting his ex-girlfriend.
So, of the reasons Patch would be boinking Marcie? It either is that he genuinely has fallen in love with her - a girl who Nora hates more than anyone in the world, and who we’re to believe is Satan incarnate - or because he wants to hurt Nora.
If Nora thinks that there’s the possibility of Patch and Marcie having that sort of a relationship (and given that she doesn’t write it off as ridiculous, she does seem to), then what does that say about her view of Patch? She thinks he’s capable of doing that sort of thing? Well, that just makes their relationship look great! I know I am constantly sure that my boyfriend will run off and sleep with other girls, just to upset me! And hey, it’s natural for people to be suspicious of their partners cheating on them! Everyone knows it, we’re just too proud or ashamed to admit it!
At this point, Vee hits upon a fantastic idea! If Nora’s going to be breaking into Marcie’s room and going through her stuff, why not look for her diary! Because not only does Marcie apparently keep one, but she also seems to actively brag about how it’s filled to the brim with scandalous things!
ZeldaQueen: This is just the dress-discarding scene all over. I don’t care how stupid this girl is. She’s writing this stuff in a diary. Which means she doesn’t want it read. Who the fuck does that and then tells people what sort of stuff’s in it? If she insists on doing that, why not record her various escapades on a blog, where she can brag about it under the safety of a username?
Whatever. Vee is all gleeful about nosing through someone’s private things, and I want to punch her. Nora, shockingly, has something akin to a normal human reaction, and thinks that it’s a bad idea. Vee insists that it’ll be fine, and they can easily poke through it and get it put back before Marcie catches them. Oh yes, that’s so reassuring! I mean, since when have Vee’s Grand Plans gone off without hitches?
Nora, amazingly, manages to stick to her guns a little longer and argue that it “just seems wrong” to do that. That’s because it is wrong! Vee, brainless dolt that she is, doesn’t grasp this idea. Instead, she argues that it’ll be fine because they won’t tell anyone what they read, and “It’s not wrong if nobody gets hurt”.
First of all, even not knowing about a moment of “komedy” up ahead, if anyone expected me to buy that those two wouldn’t blab every secret Marcie wrote down, I’d be pissed that my intelligence was so severely insulted. In fact, just keep that lovely little quote in mind for a bit.
Second of all, I don’t know how many of you folks have read the Sammy Keyes series. Now that is a good young adult series about a high school girl who’s a detective. Very well thought out, and pretty well-written. One book has Sammy go into a similar situation. She is blackmailed to find a rich bitch’s dog, with said rich bitch having a little black book filled with dirt on everyone in town. At the end of the book, Sammy steals it and immediately burns it. She’s plenty tempted to read it, but she saw how twisted people can get if they become obsessed with digging up people’s secrets, and decided it was far better to stay away from there.
I would dearly love to introduce Nora and Vee to Sammy, if only for Sammy to slap them upside their fool heads.
And how does Nora respond to all of this?
“I wasn’t sold on stealing Marcie’s diary, but I could tell Vee wasn’t going to let it drop. The most important thing was getting her to agree to come to the party with me. I wasn’t sure I was courageous enough to go on my own. Especially since I couldn’t count on having a single friend there. So I said, ‘You’ll pick me up tonight, then?’”
ZeldaQueen: *buries face in her hands* Okay. First thing’s first. A spitefic.
‘You’ll pick me up tonight, then?’
Vee gave me a strange look. “No, of course not! Why did you think I would?”
What? What was she saying? “Well, I agreed with you about getting the diary, didn’t I? That’s what you wanted, so -”
“Woah, woah, wait a minute! Hold on!” Vee waved her hands, cutting me off. “You were actually going to go through with that? You thought I was being serious?”
“Weren’t you?”
“I was joking, Nora! Hell, I thought you were joking about breaking into Marcie’s room! I figured as long as you were being ridiculous, I might as well be!”
She thought I was joking? How could she possibly have come to that conclusion? “No, I meant it! I just need to look around her room for a little bit. I’ll find proof that Patch is dating Marcie and I’ll…what is it?”
Vee was giving me that look again. “Babe, are you even listening to yourself?” she asked.
“Yes!”
“No, I don’t think you are. Otherwise, I don’t know how you can think your idea is the least bit okay.”
“My idea is fine, alright? It’ll just be a minute, I won’t take anything, and then I’ll leave. I’m not doing anything wrong!”
“Nothing wrong besides breaking into someone’s room, you mean. Didn’t you already get in trouble with the police last night, Nora? Are you trying to get thrown in juvie?”
“Look,” I said, dangerously close to losing my temper, “I thought you didn’t like me being with Patch.”
“I don’t.”
“Well then, this is the only way for me to get over him!”
Now Vee really had a weird look on her face. She put her hands on my shoulders and leaned in, so that I had no choice but to look her in the eye. “Babe,” she said. “Listen to me. This isn’t going to help you get over Patch.”
“Of course it is!”
“No. It isn’t. You want to know why? You aren’t letting go of him. He’s given you plenty of reasons to hate him enough to get rid of him. You just keep overlooking them, though.”
“What? What are you talking about?” I tried to pull away from her. “Patch is the most wonderful guy I’ve ever met, and you -”
“Then why does he treat you like shit?”
I froze, shocked at hearing Vee use language like that. “H-he doesn’t…he never…”
“Don’t even tell me he doesn’t, Nora. Don’t even.”
“Look, things haven’t been great, but he’s got a lot going on. You don’t know him like I do.”
“Maybe not, but from what I’ve seen, he hurt you enough to make you dump him, after you clung to him nonstop for the past two months. Suddenly, you’re obsessing over him more than you’ve obsessed over anything before you met him. And I don’t mean that in a good way,” she added, as I opened my mouth. “Not to mention, it’s a pretty crazy coincidence how you and Patch just happened to run into each other after you told him you never wanted to see him again?”
“So? Coincidences happen.”
“Like how you just happened to run into him all the time, when he first showed up, before you two began dating?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Okay, let’s go for a more straightforward point. Didn’t you call me last night, scared out of your mind and completely convinced that Patch drugged you?”
My mind froze. I tried to say something, but my mouth wouldn’t work. I tried to stare at my shoes. This was insane. Vee was my best friend! Why did I feel like I was getting lectured by my mother?
“Well?” Vee prompted, when there was no answer.
“I…I think I was mist -”
“You didn’t sound very mistaken last night, and you don’t sound convinced it was a mistake right now! So Nora, how could anything you possibly find in Marcie’s room make you hate Patch more than him drugging you? Why is this the be-all, end-all for getting over him?”
“Because if I find out he’s dating Marcie, I’ll hate enough to forget about him!” Why couldn’t Vee get that?
“No, it’s because you won’t let this die! You keep drudging up Patch over and over. Even if you find something in Marcie’s room, so what? You’ll just decided that it’s not good enough to make you hate him. Or you’ll think you need something else to convince you. You can’t get over Patch because you won’t let yourself. So I go with you to break into Marcie’s room, and what then? What will you do after that?”
I had no answer.
ZeldaQueen: And that sums it all up, I’d say. It’s just more of the same. Nora’s still being a spineless shit who’s convinced that this is something she must do, and thus is letting Vee shove her around. Why the fuck is she so focused on investigating this, but doesn’t even think to investigate the library, where she was knocked out at??? PRIORITIES. SHE HAS NONE.
*breathes deeply, so as to prevent passing out from anger*
Anyway, we end this scene with some comedy, in which Vee suggests setting Marcie’s room on fire while they’re in there. Given that they’re actually breaking into the room to begin with, that’s not funny in the least bit.
We jump ahead to nine in the evening, as Vee and Nora are going to the party. So…did they just sit in the car for the rest of the day? If they did other stuff, why did Nora make it sound like it was either the party or the beach? Whatever. Instead of filling those holes, we are “treated” to Nora’s explanation as to how the town is laid out according to class -
“Coldwater’s socioeconomic map is easily determined by a simple test: Drop a marble on any street in town. If the marble rolls downhill, you’re upper class. If the marble doesn’t roll at all, you’re middle class. And if you lose the marble in a vapor of fog before you have a chance to find out if it rolls, you’re … well, you live in my neighborhood. The backwoods”
ZeldaQueen: Normally, I wouldn’t be paying much attention to this. Yes, it comes right out of nowhere and in no way relates to what else goes on, but that’s hardly new. And I know there are plenty of towns that have areas that are more wealthy as well as areas that are less so.
Here’s the thing though - this is a bit like the whole kissing/sex issue I brought up before. There’s this weird classism theme that is going through this book and it’s only there enough to be bothersome. The overall attitude towards the upper class and wealthy sounds decidedly…bitter. It’s like the opposite of Twilight, and its messages of how the rich are elegant and sophisticated while the less wealthy are uneducated hicks.
And like I said, it’s not exactly prominent, so I don’t get the feeling we’re supposed to be getting any morals from it or anything. Nor do I get the sense that this is a part of Nora’s narrative, like that she herself is upset or resentful that her family doesn’t have much money (for starters, if we didn’t get the token reminder, I wouldn’t even remember Nora was living with less money).
And it’s a very uncomfortable feeling, this underlying theme. Jules, in the last book, was revealed to be a nobleman and have a vast fortune. Elliot was notable for going from being a poor student to affording his own apartment and attending a prestigious private school. And now, we have the Millers, whose big characterization is that they’re rich and thus jerks. And it’s not done as an examination of the upper class, like The Great Gatsby. It’s done in the same way that Marcie’s love of sex is. Marcie’s love of sex is a quick and easy way to show she’s Evil, and the Millers being rich is a quick and easy way to show we’re not supposed to like them.
Just keep all this in mind, particularly the fact that for as much as we’re told, Mr. Miller made his money through being a salesman. Every dollar Patch made, which is apparently more than enough for him to get by on, came from gambling. And yet, we’re never told how amoral Patch is for that. We’re supposed to think he’s so cool.
Right. Moving on.
Vee’s driving the two of them through Nora’s neighborhood. We get an info dump from Nora about how the neighborhood’s old and the lawns are trimmed and the driveways are all in half-circles and all the other clichés about Rich People Houses. Vee asks what Marcie’s address is, and then proceeds to complain that the houses are so far back, she can’t read their street number. I’m not sure what those two statements have to do with each other, but whatever! Thanks for that pointless bashing! I mean, it’s not like houses close to the road ever are made difficult to read their numbers. Or that houses away from the roads put indicators of their street numbers by the street (has Fitzpatrick never seen those sorts of signs on lawns?) Or that the upper class live in houses near streets, and not five miles in, like the house in The Beverly Hillbillies.
Nora reads Vee the house number, which ought to do her no good if she can’t see the numbers to begin with. If you’re still expecting logic though, I’m afraid you need to learn to swallow bitter disappointment. They finally reach Marcie’s house, and Fitzpatrick spares no expense in making the party sound as over-the-top as possible. There is hip-hop music that’s blaring so loudly, it apparently is making the car vibrate (yet they’re able to hear each other just fine when they go inside, so whatever). There are large groups of people running inside. Oh, and the house is ginormous and expensive, causing Nora to wonder “why [Marcie] shoplifted. For the thrill of it? To escape her parents’ carefully and perfectly crafted image?” I…kinda thought it was already established that she shoplifted for the fun of it, considering how we’ve been told since the word “Go” that she’s a spoiled rich girl.
Not to mention given how little we know about her parents, that bit about a “carefully and perfectly crafted image” means precisely jack shit. What is that supposed to even mean? We haven’t been told that they’re constantly attending functions, or forcing Marcie to join organizations and apply to certain colleges, or working to get associated with charity groups or any of that. They aren’t involved in politics or any sort of social position. All we know is that they belong to a boating club and possibly don’t like their daughter visiting a beach after hours, when it’s infested with drug dealers.
Oh, no, wait. I know what it is. They’re rich, and that’s the sort of thing rich people do, right? Rich people are all fake and only care about their public image, right?
But oh well, no time to think about that! Nora has noticed that Patch’s Jeep is right there in the driveway, and immediately comes to the conclusion that he was the very first person to arrive. In fact, she thinks he was there hours before, “Doing what, I didn’t want to know”. Given how arbitrary people in this series are, they might have even been painting each other’s nails and reading Cosmopolitan! The horror!
And dear lord, Nora once again starts going on about her pain, and how this is just the sort of evidence she’d been looking for. Great. So go off and do something that you like, which isn’t dictated by that jackass. But no, she’s going ahead with her…erm, grand scheme. She tells Vee she thinks she’s going to throw up. Vee, charming as always, recommends doing it on Marcie’s property (…Marcie doesn’t own the place, dipshit) and, in an uncharacteristically perceptive moment, asks if Nora’s alright with Patch being there. Nora’s response is a thing of beauty.
“I set my jaw, tilting my chin up slightly. ‘Marcie invited me tonight. I have the same right to be here as Patch. I’m not going to let him dictate where I go and what I do.’ Funny, because that’s exactly what I was doing.”
ZeldaQueen: There it is. I can’t think of a thing to say about that. Nora just pointed out what every has been yelling at her! It just sporked itself for me!
No, wait, I can think of one thing. How are we supposed to believe this is good? Anyone? Fans? Fitzpatrick? She just said she’s letting her ex manipulate her. This is unhealthy. This is sad. It’s no different than Bella Swan wandering around the meadow, pathetically looking for some trace of Edward. You can’t even argue that she already wanted to go to the party and refuses to alter her plans for Patch, because she already was going there because of Patch!!! She NEVER wanted to go to this thing! She’s only doing it to feed her sick bile fascination over whether or not Marcie and Patch are an item!
So in other words, Nora’s spinelessness and willingness to get pushed around by Patch has moved from subtext to just plain text. That’s just lovely.
And folks, I shall give you a head’s up here. This section marks not only a ton of slut-shamming for Marcie, but for the party as a whole. Right off of the bat, we’re told how the living room is “crammed with bodies gyrating to Jay-Z” and Vee informs Nora that she’s leaving if she sees any panties.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 66
In fact, it’s going to become incredibly obvious why Nora and Vee have no friends aside from each other. It’s not that they’re the usual cool loser outcasts. It’s that they’re the most judgmental bitches on this side of Bella Swan.
Vee promptly starts mentally bracing herself, because this is Marcie’s house, so ewwww, Marcie’s stuff’s going to be in it! Out of absolutely nowhere, she wonders if they can find old pictures of Marcie’s dad, because Vee “can’t decide if it’s plastic surgery that makes [Mr. Miller] look so young, or just massive amounts of makeup”. Given that Mr. Miller has not been brought up at all in this entire conversation, Fitzpatrick might as well be hanging a neon “FORESHADOWING!” sign on that comment. Couple it with the apparently forgotten revelation that Nora had a dream of Mr. Miller in Ye Olden Times and gee, I wonder if there’s something about Mr. Miller that’s suspicious? You know, like how he doesn’t appear to be aging? But of course, that’s ridiculous! It’s not like there are characters in this universe that are immortal or anything!
ZeldaQueen: You know, I’m wondering if Fitzpatrick was told by her editor to go back and put in those dream scenes and other hints that there’s a plot beyond Patch Wangst. Either that, or she herself has been getting mind wiped and forgotten what she’s already revealed to her readers.
Aaaaand, we're taking a break here, ladies and gents. Tune in next sporking, when we find out the exciting conclusion of Nora the Insane Ex!
Be very afraid.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 66
Onward to: Chapter 12 (Part 2)
Return to: Chapter 11 (Part 2)
Back to Table of Contents