The Gang: Chapter 4 - The Test (Part 2)

[zelda_queen]

ZeldaQueen: All the same warnings as before, ladies and gentlemen! This chapter contains a detailed description of a twelve-year-old being strung up and forcibly stripped and tickled, while he makes it clear he doesn't consent!

Comments

[mibamonster]

'Ben’s mind snapped back to a few days ago. A girl, lying nearly naked on the floor, shrieking, being tickled. They might have said to her: ‘Let’s get her shirt off.’ This was all too close for comfort. What were they going to do to him

[chibi_regalli]

All I remember of HE grammar is that "balance of" thing he NEVER STOPPED USING. And which I've never heard used ANYWHERE ELSE. It doesn't exist elsewhere. It's just Neil being crazy.

[katistrophe]

Actually, I've seen it used in exactly one other place: "My Friend the Murderer" by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. "Oh, I say, you've left the balance of that cake of tobacco behind you, haven't you?" That's the only time it shows up, though, and the character speaking uses decidedly nonstandard grammar in other places.

[zelda_queen]

Yeeeeah, I have no clue at all how Neil would justify Benedict. Of course, he came up with the wildest excuses to prove that Emily of HE wasn't a sociopathic budding sex offender, so clearly he's got imagination.

And yes, HE's grammer was *marginally* better, mainly because he allegedly had three to five betas per chapter. I heard someone theorize that he was lying about them though (either that, or they're damned lazy), and apparently his Brit picker ran for the hills early in on the first fic.

[szaleniec1000]

Hogwarts Exposed still had far too many cases of direct address without a comma. As in, "Your fic sucks Neil." As for the betas, some of them seem to correspond to users on Yahoo but others don't. The first chapter of the first fic is the only one with a credited Britpicker, and you've probably seen how many times I use my "Americanisms in the Potterverse" tag when sporking HE.

[katistrophe]

"Your fic sucks Neil" kind of sounds like an insult to the fic along the lines of "Your fic sucks [X]", where X is something nasty.