The Gang: Chapter 1 - Benedict Davidson

[zelda_queen]

Raxis: Hello peeps, I'm back for another go with Queeny! :D

ZeldaQueen: Glad to have you, Raxis! *to the viewers* Folks, you all remember Neil. How could you not? Hogwarts Exposed can only be forgotten through heavy drinking coupled with a lobotomy.

Raxis: I'm not sure that's sufficient.

ZeldaQueen: Possibly the best we could do. In any case, we sang

Comments

[szaleniec1000]

It's the same in Hogwarts Exposed. Absolutely everything has to involve sex, to the extent that characters' canon personalities are overwritten to instead make sex their primary motivation.

While he waited he ran the whole scene through his mind again, trying to recapture every detail. It was the breast that kept gnawing at his attention, and kept him agitated.

Yep, that's Neil alright. He's obsessed with the things. What little I've read of this story suggests it's at least as bad as Hogwarts Exposed, so I'll be following this review with interest. About the only thing I can say in its favour, from the "damning with faint praise" pile, is that at least the POV isn't hopping around like a caffeinated rabbit like it does in HE.

Raxis: This appears to be set in Britain, judging from the above locations, and in Britain you begin primary school at age 11, see Harry Potter.

Minor correction: you begin secondary school at age 11; primary school is ages 4-11. And yes, it's set in Britain, and no, Neil doesn't know any more about what Britain is really like than he did when he wrote HE. You could play a drinking game with Americanisms in HE, and although I've not read this as closely it wouldn't surprise me if it was the same.

[zelda_queen]

That's why I argue that these guys are even WORSE than the HE crew. Most of the characters of HE were stolen from HP canon, so Neil had to at least TRY to pretend they still had their canon personalities, which included life beyond sex. These guys? Nothing. NO motivation beyond sex.

[szaleniec1000]

The example that comes to mind (because it's relatively recent in my HTE sporking and stuck in my head) is this:

"I somehow get the feeling Timmy and Ron are taking about two very different type of treats." Tonks said with a laugh.

Given that canon!Ron is notably fond of sweets, snacks and double helpings at Hogwarts feasts, there's no reason they should be talking about different types of treats. That's what I mean when I say that introducing sex has overwritten his canon personality. Harry and Hermione have similar moments. (Also, characters laughing at their own jokes is another Neilism that pisses me right off; does The Gang have any of that?)

[zelda_queen]

"Also, characters laughing at their own jokes is another Neilism that pisses me right off; does The Gang have any of that?"

Not that I noticed. There really isn't much "humor" in this, per say.

[sickbritkid2]

I haven't noticed any lame attempts at humor, either. Then again, this fic reads like it's straight pornography unlike HE.