And it was the feel of his lean infatuated body naked against hers
His body was infatuated with her? Also, holy god, this sentence needs at least two more commas.
Also, this reminds me of the time where Link asks Malon to sing at their wedding, and I figure this is as good a time as any to bring up a related question I have for my own writing: [threadjack] I have two characters, Rad and Cuthbert, who run into this situation. Cuthbert is gay, and is in love with Rad, who is not, for most of the series. When this comes to light, Rad is one of the many people who shun and ostracize Cuthbert. Rad leaves, and ends up marrying the girl he had a crush on earlier in the series. About a year or so has passed, and Cuthbert still has feelings for Rad. During this year, however, Cuthbert learns that real love means wanting to see the other person happy, and when he notices how happy Rad is with his wife, it finally dawns on him that Cuthbert could never have had a relationship with Rad, and he's finally able to let go. Rad asking Cuthbert to be the best man at his wedding is intended as a sign of forgiveness and reconciliation, of Rad saying "I'm sorry I screwed up, can we be friends again?", and of Cuthbert giving up his (boarderline obsessive) feelings for the former.
My question is this: is that the same thing? Does this come across as a creepy, dysfunctional situation like in My Inner Life?
His body was infatuated with her? Also, holy god, this sentence needs at least two more commas.
Also, this reminds me of the time where Link asks Malon to sing at their wedding, and I figure this is as good a time as any to bring up a related question I have for my own writing: [threadjack]
I have two characters, Rad and Cuthbert, who run into this situation. Cuthbert is gay, and is in love with Rad, who is not, for most of the series. When this comes to light, Rad is one of the many people who shun and ostracize Cuthbert. Rad leaves, and ends up marrying the girl he had a crush on earlier in the series. About a year or so has passed, and Cuthbert still has feelings for Rad. During this year, however, Cuthbert learns that real love means wanting to see the other person happy, and when he notices how happy Rad is with his wife, it finally dawns on him that Cuthbert could never have had a relationship with Rad, and he's finally able to let go. Rad asking Cuthbert to be the best man at his wedding is intended as a sign of forgiveness and reconciliation, of Rad saying "I'm sorry I screwed up, can we be friends again?", and of Cuthbert giving up his (boarderline obsessive) feelings for the former.
My question is this: is that the same thing? Does this come across as a creepy, dysfunctional situation like in My Inner Life?
[/threadjack]
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