The Spork Of Christmas Present: Falling For An Angel
The second night passed
The sun started to rise
Was the second sporking not coming?
That would be a pleasant surprise!
But no, on the screen,
The Media began to run
And ZeldaQueen groaned
This would not be any fun
For the Spork of Christmas Present
Was one that filled her with dread
It was an interview about Patch
And ideas from Word of God's own head
Falling For An Angel
ZeldaQueen: Once again, I claim no credit for this. This interview can be read in its unsporked entirety here. That is all!
At first glance, Hush, Hush has many similarities to Twilight,
ZeldaQueen: "At first glance"? That thing reads like Twilight from beginning to end!
the first volume in Stephenie Meyer’s vampire romance series which has made teen fiction sales soar, introduced the genre to adult readers and turned creatures of the night (fanged, furry, and feathered) into romantic heroes.
ZeldaQueen: And which inspired millions of twits to titter about how dreamy murderous monsters are
When Nora Grey is forced to be partners with the mysterious and gorgeous (but unfortunately abrasive)
ZeldaQueen: "Unfortunately abrasive". Yes, it is unfortunate that he is plotting to murder her, isn't it? And "abrasive"? Well, yes, Patch does act in an irritating manner, but that seems like a rather mild way of describing him talking in detail about how he has been stalking Nora and knows way too much about her daily activities
Patch in her Biology class, they are quick to clash.
ZeldaQueen: Well, if by "clash" you mean "he treats her in entirely inappropriate ways and she just whimpers and falls for it" then yes, they do clash
Despite her growing attraction to him,
ZeldaQueen: Which makes no sense at all!
she is reluctant to ignore the secrets she’s certain he hides.
ZeldaQueen: Actually, no she's not. Nora makes a few half-hearted attempts to figure Patch out, but every time he starts groping her and sticking his face into hers, she just forgets about it in favor of his hot abs or whatever
As Nora tries to discover the truth about him and deal with the growing threat of a stalker, she soon realises that she is far out of her depth.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, yes she is. And it's treated like the greatest romance ever and is incredibly squicky at best to read about
On delving deeper into Hush, Hush and its roots, the similarities to Twilight and its ilk soon become superfluous.
ZeldaQueen: HOW?!? The plot all but follows Twilight's in a paint-by-the-dots formula! The characters are virtually identical, if somehow even more despicable! The same plot contrivances and unbelievable harassment/love stories are told! What is different?
On a purely visual level, the iridescent grey covers, splashed with key points of red, stand out in a sea of black on bookshops’ teen tables.
ZeldaQueen: ...Oh. Because the covers are different, that clearly proves that the books are not alike. Silly me!
(On an even more superficial level, putting a shirtless guy with wings on the cover of Hush, Hush couldn’t have hurt, either.)
ZeldaQueen: What the fuck does that have to do with anything?
Yet one of the strongest aspects of Hush, Hush is the comparison of its male lead character, Patch, to Edward from Twilight, who has reached Heathcliff-levels of teen adoration.
ZeldaQueen: Um, you do know that Heathcliff wasn't supposed to be adored, don't you?
And yes, Patch and Edward are comparable. Both are horrible people who are parasitic, disdainful of others, treat their alleged loved ones like dirt, and are assholes. The main difference is that Edward at least pretends to be a gentleman
Within the opening pages of Hush, Hush, it’s clear that Patch is not Edward - and Patch’s many fans consider him to be far superior.
ZeldaQueen: WHY?!? Fuck! I can think of no one who Patch is superior to as a romantic lead, not even Edward! DO YOU HEAR ME? YES, I WENT THERE! I JUST SAID I PREFERRED EDWARD TO SOME OTHER LITERARY CHARACTER! LOOKS LIKE HELL'S GETTING A WHITE CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR!
While Edward is portrayed as sensitive and regrets his becoming a vampire,
ZeldaQueen: No, he doesn't. das_mervin spent a good three and a half books worth of sporking proving that none of the vampires in that God-forsaken series regret what they are. And if Edward Cullen is sensitive, I'm Momo the Flying Lemur
Patch is presented as the ultimate bad boy.
ZeldaQueen: "Bad boy" my ass! He's a CRIMINAL!
He’s out for himself and unconcerned about who gets hurt or in the way of what he wants - until he meets Nora, who is unwilling to simply fall into his arms and is repulsed by his attitude and lack of empathy.
ZeldaQueen: ...
First of all, yes that is an accurate description of Patch. He only cares about himself and doesn't care who he hurts to get what he wants. Why is that an attractive trait? He sounds like a far more dangerous version of Gaston, from Beauty and the Beast! And, surprise, surprise, Gaston was the antagonist of that movie!
Second of all, yes Nora does try to resist Patch's disgusting advances and is repulsed by his behavior. It doesn't matter. Because guess what? He forces her to be with him. He invites himself into her house, stealing her keys if necessary. He stalks her so he can conveniently give her rides home. He lies that his car has broken down so he can corner her in a sleazy motel.
All in all, the implication of that summary - that Patch is a nasty piece of work until Nora changes him, Mama - is decidedly bullshit because Patch doesn't change! He in no way repents his actions or seeks to make amends for them! Fuck, the titular character of The Sheik regretted what he did to Diana Mayo! Patch never expresses remorse for the psychological, emotional, and physical torture that he puts Nora through!
Fitzpatrick admits that she had to soften Patch up a little bit before publication as her editor thought he might be hard to relate to, and that he was ‘a little rough around the edges.’
ZeldaQueen: What?!? Crap, what was he like originally? Did he shoot at blind old ladies or something?
And "might" be hard to relate to? Dude, he's impossible to relate to as it is! Christ alone knows what a sane reaction to his original characterization would be like. "Kill it with fire" comes to mind, but I already feel that way about him!
While he is still very much a bad boy throughout Hush, Hush, by Crescendo he has begun to soften in demeanour, though he hasn’t lost all of what made him mysterious and compelling in the first book.
ZeldaQueen: *a la Nostalgia Critic* That's a lie, and you know it!
Even though it may seem safer and easier to categorise Patch as a fallen-angel bad boy, Fitzpatrick is quick to point out his past. ‘He used to be an archangel,’ she explains, ‘so he was a good guy a long time ago. I think being with Nora reminds him of who he used to be and trying to be that person once again, but at the same time he will never be that same person. Too many things have happened to him. He’s changed, so he’s at war with himself.’
ZeldaQueen: Two things.
First of all, we are meant to believe that Patch - one of the most irresponsible twats I've ever read about, who refused guardian angelship because a job that required a higher calling and protecting others didn't please him - was an archangel. Patch. An archangel. The kid who tried to kill two innocent people to get what he wanted and abuses his girlfriend and mindraped poor Jules into being his slave for an eternity. He once held a high position of power in Heaven.
The angels of this universe are fucking morons, not only for sticking such a horrific person into such a prestigious position, but for trying to get him back. Seriously, if the dude fell out of lust and is now running around, mindraping people and using his angelic powers to take advantage of humans, why would they want him back?
Second of all, that idea of Nora reminding Patch of a lost noble side actually sounds like an interesting bit of characterization. Such a shame that we see no signs of it. The only things Patch does that are the least bit noble and inspired by Nora are saving Vee, which he farts around and nearly botches and fails at, and becoming a guardian angel, which he didn't even want and which he uses as an opportunity to spy on and make out with his girlfriend
Despite Patch softening in Crescendo while Nora becomes stronger and learns to assert herself (something that will continue in Silence, the third book, as Nora becomes still more self-assured),
ZeldaQueen: Having read Crescendo, that statement makes me laugh until my drink comes out of my nose
Fitzpatrick promises that the two characters will join together in Silence to fight against their enemies, hinting that it will be both dramatic and epic in scope.
ZeldaQueen: If the nonsensical and sloppy climax of Hush, Hush is any indicator, I highly doubt that
While Hush, Hush is marketed as paranormal romance, and the relationship between Nora and Patch is the driving force of the books, Nora’s friendship with her best friend Vee is also important.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, yes it is. If Nora weren't friends with Vee, she wouldn't have nearly been killed multiple times. Isn't Vee such a great friend?
Vee is a strong, continuous presence in Hush, Hush, helping Nora discover the truth about Patch.
ZeldaQueen: NO SHE DOESN'T!
I apologize for that outburst. The idea that Vee, that useless lump, was a strong presence who was in any way helpful to Nora is irksome
Their friendship makes a refreshing change from some of the trends in teen books, in which mean girls and friendships are abandoned once romance is pursued.
ZeldaQueen: Instead, we get the disturbing theme of Nora being pushed by Vee into an abusive relationship with Patch, even though Vee also insists that Patch is highly dangerous. We also get the disgusting theme that friends are poisonous and push you to do things you are highly uncomfortable with, and who ignore and mock your concerns when there are things genuinely threatening your safety
While Nora and Vee suffer from the latter in Crescendo, their friendship recovers quickly and strengthens during the course of the novel. Neither of them is popular, but they both knew they could depend on the other for the truly important things.
ZeldaQueen: Like providing enough stupidity to walk into incredibly obvious dangers
‘I think you either love [Vee] or hate her,’ Fitzpatrick says, ‘but she does remind me of a very authentic sixteen-year-old girl. She’s happy with who she is. She’s obnoxious, but at the same time she does look out for Nora. I love her character.’
ZeldaQueen: I find the idea that my sixteen-year-old self ought to see Vee as "authentic" to be insulting
She’s adamant that she didn’t set out to write characters who are perfect role models in books considered to be a ‘guideline for how teens should handle their lives’.
ZeldaQueen: The thought, no matter how remote, of those horrible characters being seen as role models makes my brain die.
And should I take it to mean then that she was completely oblivious to the general "stalking and abuse are love" themes which she did assuredly write in, given how she plays them straight as signs of love?
In her opinion, fiction should reflect real life where no one is perfect.
ZeldaQueen: You know, I know that this is true. I'm all for shades of grey, in reflection of real life. But these characters aren't realistic. They're just all horrible! There's not a one amongst them who is the slightest bit likeable and sympathetic, except for Jules. Real life isn't like that!
‘[Teenagers] are trying to find out who they are, and they’re learning who’ll betray them and who their real friends are.’ Her characters reflect this: they aren’t perfect and have flaws, often many. They make mistakes.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, they make mistakes and they suffer no consequences from them! They don't even learn from their mistakes, given the situations Nora finds herself in in Crescendo! Character development is a beautiful, beautiful thing!
Her characters and plots often incorporate memories from her teenage years, including those of people she knew. Even Patch’s real name, revealed in Crescendo, comes from one of her sister’s ex-boyfriends in high school.
ZeldaQueen: The thought that the nightmarish plots and characters of those books being based on Fitzpatrick's real life makes me pity that woman extensively. And I pity that ex-boyfriend for having his name tarnished like that, unless he really was like Patch. If that's the case, I pity the sister
Fitzpatrick kept journals all through middle and high school, which she goes back and reads for inspiration and to root herself in the appropriate emotional state.
ZeldaQueen: Again, this is seriously creeping me out. She wrote out Nora as being the helpless teenage girl stalked by the slasher movie monster, and she based that off of her own high school experiences? I'm seriously hoping she just sucked at writing out how those things were!
She uses a lot of these memories in her writing, changing enough details to make it fictional. But the most important thing from these memories, she feels, is the emotion. ‘We all remember what it feels like to be humiliated, or betrayed, or to fall in love for the first time,’ she says, smiling. ‘Those are things that everyone experiences.’
ZeldaQueen: And what about the emotions your books invoke, like complete fucking terror?
It could well be her use of her own memories of falling in love that has helped readers become so passionately invested in Nora and Patch’s romance.
ZeldaQueen: Given that the abusive "romance" between Nora and Patch is far closer to Stockholm Syndrome, I'd just like to say I CERTAINLY HOPE SHE DIDN'T!
Fitzpatrick feels that Nora’s behaviour when falling for Patch, claimed by some to be almost obsessive, is no different to what many teenagers do when falling in love for the first time.
ZeldaQueen: *straps in* Oh boy, this ought to be fun
‘These are the things we did: following our boyfriends around to see if they were cheating, staring. So we all have those tendencies, we just don’t like to admit it, and we like to make fun of people in books when they do it, of course.’
ZeldaQueen: ...
Fuck.
No.
No. No, Fitzpatrick, we did not. "Many" teenagers do not act like Patch and Nora do when they are falling in love for the first time. Yes, some do. Most of them end up in the news for assault and rape and murder and other such things. There are plenty of teenagers who start their first relationships casually. There are some who are fine with being in open relationships. And there are plenty who have serious relationships who don't stalk their significant others and stare all of the time. Those are people who have healthy relationships, because people in healthy relationships trust each other and respect each others' wishes and boundaries!
And fuck you for implying that by being disgusted by that notion, I'm being a hypocrite who won't admit to it. Guess what? I didn't. I never stalked my boyfriend or spied on him or fussed endlessly over him cheating on me. I trusted him to not cheat on me, and we got along perfectly fine!
You know, between that statement, the things Nora does in the sequel in the name of a broken heart, and the casual usage of horrific and disgusting behavior from every character in those books, I am starting to pick up Meyer-esque vibes from this woman!
The biology scene from the beginning of Hush, Hush, often compared to a similar scene in Twilight, actually came from Fitzpatrick’s own high-school experience.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, really? Just like how Bella's popularity in Forks was based off of Meyer's own college experiences?
During her writing class, the teacher had asked them to write a scene showing humiliation. ‘So I wrote a scene about my own life,’ she explains. ‘When I was sixteen and I was in my high school biology class, my teacher asked me in front of the whole class to list the characteristics I’d want in a mate, which of course happens to Nora. So that was the beginning of the book, just writing about this experience that happened to me in Biology, changing it to make it fictional.’ This was the seed of the idea that would grow into Hush, Hush.
ZeldaQueen: First of all, I retract my statement about how unbelievable that lesson was. Reality is unrealistic and all. It doesn't make it any less disgusting.
Second of all, that makes it even worse! That scene is one of the earlier interacts between Patch and Nora. It ought to be the start of the setting up of their relationship. And Fitzpatrick based it off of an experience that humiliated her! She chose that to kick off this Epic Romance! What made her think that a guy who contributed to something she remembered as so humiliating would be a good boyfriend?
Another theme that runs through the background of Hush, Hush and becomes more predominant in Crescendo, is family and blood, and whether blood can determine someone’s destiny.
ZeldaQueen: "Runs through the background" in the sense that it's mentioned once or twice, in the most contrived ways possible, and rarely plays any more of a part than that
Blood lineage is important in this, a series about the descendants and vessels of angels.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, care to expand on that?
While Nora is haunted by the death of her father in Hush, Hush, the shadow of which haunts her and her mother as they struggle to cope and keep their own relationship from crumbling, it quickly becomes clear that there is more to her father’s death than Nora first thought.
ZeldaQueen: I guess not. We get two sentences on the Important Theme of lineage determining one's destiny, a theme which is often used and can be very interesting, and immediately pass over it. I guess it's fitting. That's about how much it was looked into in the books
Nora soon realises that even more dangerous secrets have been kept from her. She soon finds herself in a situation that many teenagers eventually experience; realising their parents aren’t perfect, and they make mistakes.
ZeldaQueen: Again, this is an interesting idea, which can be painful to get through but can lead to lots of character development. One of the biggest things Harry Potter had to work through was the realization that he couldn't depend on parental figures to protect him, which lead to him spending most of Deathly Hallows on the run, with himself, Ron, and Hermione fighting for their safety and lives.
Nora's mother, however, is in the books so little that it honestly doesn't affect things at all. Really, her mother's flaws (namely her absence in her daughter's life, as well as her failure to notice the obvious danger Nora is in) come across as an excuse for Nora to go through the contrived plot without anyone actually doing something about it
Like many, she has to choose how to react to this. ‘There’s no such thing as a relationship where there’s never a fallout, but you can either choose to part ways and let that fallout destroy your relationship, or you can make it stronger because you overcome that fallout. Nora has a big decision to face.’ The repercussions play a huge role in the next book.
ZeldaQueen: Spoilers - most of the next book consists of Nora whining about how it's unfair that angelic law forbids Patch and herself from boinking. Repercussions doesn't really come to mind
One could be forgiven for believing that writing Crescendo would be easy for Fitzpatrick after the success of Hush, Hush, but she had only just handed in the rough draft when Hush, Hush was released and then had to do ‘massive, massive’ rewrites of the second book during the heights of the first book’s success.
ZeldaQueen: Much like with Patch's editing, I'm most curious about what those "massive massive" rewrites are. I'm betting along the lines of "moar stalking" and "be creepier"
The second book, she had heard from other writers, was the hardest one. ‘I had five years to write Hush, Hush, and most writers have all the time they want to write that first book. And then it sells, and suddenly you have one year or less to write the next book, which is a challenge.’ Considering the positive reviews and sales success Crescendo has already received in the short time since its publication, it’s a challenge that Fitzpatrick has made look easy.
ZeldaQueen: The only challenge that book made easy was matching and eventually outdoing the horrible themes and creepy implications from Hush, Hush
Hush, Hush’s success also put a great deal of pressure on the author concerning Crescendo’s reception. With Hush, Hush, Fitzpatrick felt as if she were writing for herself, but in the lead-up to Crescendo’s publication, she had to balance readers’ expectations for what they hoped would - and felt should - happen in the next book.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, so her fans want the creepy. That's...terrifying
‘You can’t satisfy everyone,’ she says, ‘and you have to do the best you can and take the story where you believe it needs to go, but at the same time you know there are going to be people who will be upset and people who are going to be cheering.’ She laughs. ‘It’s a lot of pressure.’
The tone and atmosphere of Hush, Hush and Crescendo seem to reflect the books’ covers: grey and gloomy with an undertone of menace and intrigue, something Fitzpatrick puts down to the books she read as a teenager.
ZeldaQueen: Oh Christ
‘My favourites were gothic romances,’ she remembers. ‘I read a lot of Victoria Holt and Mary Stewart and the Brontë sisters.
ZeldaQueen: Of course you did. *throws up hands* At least we're not having Nora compared to Jane Eyre, thank God!
Gothic romances relied heavily on atmosphere, that’s what carried the book through, so I’m sure in writing these I went back to my love of reading those books as a teen.’
ZeldaQueen: Okay, I will give her that. The books were rather frightening at some parts. Problem is, a lot of those points were supposed to be romantic
While Silence wasn’t completed at the time of this interview, Fitzpatrick hopes to tie everything up if it turns out to be the final book, in which all the big questions of the series will be answered.
ZeldaQueen: Moar spoilers folks - they ain't. We get Book Number Four in the Abusive Angel Series. Joy!
Possibly in keeping with her refusal to write books as guidebooks to teenage life, or to have her characters be unrealistic, perfect role models, she is firm that the series will have a happy ending.
ZeldaQueen: Um, that doesn't really work, you know. Writing horrible characters who are not treated as horrible and who get happy endings doesn't teach that life isn't fair, it makes readers think that such behavior is endorsed.
That's not even going into how infuriating it is to think that anyone images Patch and Nora deserving a happy ending
‘I like the feeling when you close the cover of a book and you’re in a happy place,’ she says. ‘Things are going to work out for these characters.’
ZeldaQueen: I personally like the feeling when characters are likable and sympathetic, allowing me to empathize them with
But if Silence is anything like its predecessors, the happy ending will only come after several twists and turns and much uncertainty and danger.
ZeldaQueen: All of which is pointless, since we've already been told it'll be a happy ending
But Fitzpatrick’s readers have faith in her, and if the anticipation for Silence is anything like it was for Crescendo, they’ll be eager to find out how Nora and Patch reach their happy ending.
ZeldaQueen: I, meanwhile, will be retching
So stand aside, vampires. The original bad boys are making a comeback!
ZeldaQueen: *sings* The boys are back in town!
And they really aren't. I can only think of two teen book series with fallen angels, and a ton that have vampires
Christmas in the Realm: 2011