Title: How to Deck the NHK Hall
Fandom: Johnny's Entertainment
Characters: BAD; various cameos
Rating: G
Warnings: Shenanigans.
Summary: Kiriyama Akito is the unwilling catalyst for Christmas shenanigans at NHK Hall, much to Junta's total lack of surprise.
Notes: Count the references! Ignore the setting inaccuracies! For
pastdazed as part of
je_holiday 2008. Beta by
impynymph.
pastdazed, WO AI NI. Thanks for being my best partner in Juniors shenanigans.
A black-hooded figure streaked across the NHK Hall stage, fleeing the stage-right catcalls, cries, and suspicious crashes.
"Whyyyy are they so--"
"What are you doing, Akito?" Junta's voice resonated on the empty stage, and Akito, startled, tripped, and gracelessly rolled over on the floor.
"Whyyyy?" Akito whined, holding his knee briefly before splaying out and staring up at his partner. "Why are they so obnoxious?"
Junta paused for a moment, considering his options. "It's a little bit like what they say about glass houses, isn't it?" He prodded Akito with the toe of his dance shoe and laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Get up," Junta said with a grin, offering Akito a hand.
Just as Akito's fingers closed around Junta's hand, another voice--followed by footsteps--rang out across the stage. "Found you," cried Takaki, trotting across the stage, half-dressed in some sequined abomination. "You were sneaking off to see your--"
"Cut it out," Akito screeched, ducking his head as he scrambled to hide behind Junta. He clamped on hand on Junta's right shoulder, clinging as Junta tried to get out of the path of... whatever was going on.
"You're being a wimp, Akito," Takaki said, reaching across Junta's shoulder to grab the hood of Akito's jacket. He quickly stuffed it full of confetti and shoved it over Akito's head.
Junta threw up his arms and tried to step aside as Chinen and Yamada closed in, but Akito seemed too committed to the idea of partnership to let Junta escape. In mere moments, a blizzard of paper and decorative fluff surrounded the Kansai duo, courtesy of Hey! Say! JUMP.
"Akito," Junta said calmly, plucking a feather from his jacket and a piece of confetti from his hair. "I'm almost afraid to ask..."
An aggravated groan from Akito and the cackles of half a dozen other boys drowned Junta out.
=====
Forty minutes later, after another quick run-through of talk segments, Akito flopped down beside Junta with a long-suffering sigh.
Junta glanced at him sideways. "What's up, Akito?"
Akito's eyes lit up, and he fairly jumped into his partner's lap. "They're after me," he began, sotto voce. It seemed to Junta that Akito's nervousness was directed at a stack of oversized Christmas presents near the center of the stage. It was absurd at best, though not entirely surprising.
Or so he thought, until one of the boxes sneezed.
Junta patted Akito on the shoulder. "Who's in the box, then?"
"They're really there?" Akito's tone was so drenched with panic that Junta began to wonder if he was being pulled along in some elaborate prank.
"The box sneezed," Junta deadpanned. "Unless..." His eyes widened and he stood up, pointing at Akito, who found himself splayed on the ground once more. "You're afraid of Santa Claus!"
"AUUUUGH!" Akito groaned loudly, and Junta was satisfied when the boxes began to giggle. He held back his own giggles until one--one that suspiciously sounded like Chinen--thudded to the floor with a yelp.
"You guys have it all wrong!" Akito shouted, scrambling to his feet and stumbling into the wings.
At center stage, Yamada rolled the Chinen-box onto its side.
=====
"So," Yamada said, sitting down beside Junta with his lunch.
Junta looked up from his script with a smile and pulled off his headphones. "What are you guys thinking? Well, okay. What did he do?"
"This time?" Yamada answered between bites of food. "The usual. Someone overheard him talking about Chinen again."
Junta facepalmed. "Out of context, right?" The two boys raised their heads quickly at the sound of a shriek from the next dressing room over. "And they told..."
"Akanishi-kun, who told..."
"Ahaha, he deserves it," Junta said with a snicker. It was just like Akito to take his adoration of the other guys a little too far.
"Thing is," Yamada said, scooting closer, "he's saying it's not what he said at all."
Junta quirked an eyebrow. "What's he saying he did say, then?"
Yamada chewed thoughtfully before answering. "He won't stop screaming long enough to give us a straight answer. I'm pretty sure Takaki-kun is convinced it was about him."
"It wasn't!" Akito whined from the hallway. Yamada and Junta flinched.
Yamada picked up his tray and warily edged out of the room. "It's like he has radar or something..."
Akito dramatically strode forward and slumped onto the table, face in his arms. "It's all lies!" He reached out and tugged at the edge of Junta's script. "I just said I like his dancing!"
Junta pried Akito's fingers off his script. "If it were anyone else, I'd say you should have spoken up a little so they could hear you right." He stared at his partner for a beat, waiting for an indignant reaction; he was answered with only a slump and a groan.
"They went through my bag," Akito said, slipping sideway and picking up his shoulder bag. For a moment, his head was practically buried in it as he searched for something. "Here, look!" Akito pulled out and brandished a fake sprig of mistletoe. "This is why they're chasing me!"
The smirk on Junta's face was barely concealed, but he turned to pay closer attention anyway. "So, you're trying to kiss people?"
"No, no!" Akito protested, glancing around the room. "Some girl just shoved it into my hand on the train today."
"You're looking for a place to hide it," Junta said quietly, a giggle escaping, barely covered with a cough.
Akito eyed him. 'Wouldn't you?"
A pair of footsteps shuffled to a stop outside the door. "He's after Junta-kun now!" Takaki shouted down the corridor.
"Maybe," Junta said, putting his headphones back on, "you should just give up."
=====
"Okay, listen up," the stage director called from the front of the stage. "The last full dress rehearsal of the songs is going to be in one hour. Get your costumes on, do whatever, and get back out here. If you're late, you're off TV!" The younger Juniors scattered like ants, leaving the more experienced Juniors loitering while they waited for the backstage rush to die down.
In mid-stage, Junta practiced the last few steps of B.A.D.'s song, double-checking where the audience would be. He put his hand to his lips for a farewell kiss, started to wink--then found himself unable to move.
"Akito."
"Don't make me go back there with them," he whined into Junta's shoulder, clinging to Junta's arm.
Junta sighed, prying his arm free and slinging it around Akito's shoulders. "I'll go back there with you."
"Thank you," Akito said brightly, turning his biggest smile on Junta as they headed backstage. "I knew you'd help me!"
"Remember this the next time you and Takaki decide to cause trouble. Remember that I cared."
"Defi--oh no." Akito suddenly tensed, stopping in his tracks. "Hide. Hide!" He yanked Junta sideways, behind the massive Christmas tree that was the stage's centerpiece.
Junta sighed. "That was just A.B.C."
Akito shushed his partner. "No. I saw Hama-chan with them. I swear I did." He looked around nervously again before producing something from his pocket and throwing it high up into the tree. The mistletoe. "Okay. I'm safe."
"...And you didn't do that three hours ago because...?"
Instantly, Akito had a hold of Junta's other arm and dragged him back onto the stage. "Let's practice. One more time. Just... Just to avoid them."
"Right," Junta said, wrenching himself loose and finding his mark for their song. "One, two--you owe me."
"I've got it, I've got it, I get it!"
=====
All the Juniors were assembled onstage, facing the audience with a smile. The smaller Juniors hopped and ducked, trying to get their faces on camera. In front of them, half of Hey! Say! JUMP gathered bunches of confetti in their hands to toss at the audience.
"Thanks so much for joining us, everyone!"
"Have a great Christmas!"
"With your boyfriend," someone whispered into Akito's ear, making him jump.
He yelped. "Stop it!" Suddenly the audience burst into laughter. Akito's face turned bright red and he tried to slink behind Kisumai for cover. Then, though, all the boys started laughing, turning to the side where the Christmas tree stood.
"Look, look!" Goseki shouted, jumping up to pull something from the tree. "We've got some mistletoe for you, ladies!" The girls in the front row shrieked, sending A.B.C. and Butoukan to the floor in fits of mirth.
Junta glanced at Akito just long enough to see him cover his face.
"Ladies?" Yara practically sprinted across the stage to snatch the sprig from Goseki's hand. "Mine now!" Again, the audience shrieked.
Fujigaya nearly knocked Junta and Akito down as he shoved his way through the mass of Juniors, toward the tree. "Yaaaaaaaaa--"
"Well, see." Junta said, patting Akito on the arm. "Nobody will remember your little thing after this."