iverin
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zekkouchou
Men Can Buy Chocolate, Too--JE
Title: Men Can Buy Chocolate, Too: "Promises" Remixed
Fandom: Johnny's Entertainment
Characters: Nishikido Ryo/Uchi Hiroki, special guest Yasuda Shota
Rating: PG for language
Warnings: Ryo abuse/torture/mocking by the author, but I MOCK BECAUSE I LOVE. Stream of consciousness for the lolz. This fic is not entirely srs bzns.
Summary: Ryo has chosen perhaps the worst day ever to confess to Uchi. A misadventure.
Notes: This is a remix of jain's Valentine's Day Challenge fic. Written, then, for the White Day Remix Challenge. Hopefully it makes someone laugh. XD MANY THANKS to procreational for saving me from MSOffice's auto-correct.
Ryo hated Valentine's Day.
Idiots are just looking for an excuse to buy things...
Ryo really hated Valentine's Day.
Oh, that girl is by herself. Cute haircut. Looks a little like... damn.
Ryo hated lots of days, lately.
Every store was bedecked in pinks and reds, and roses and chocolates seemingly overflowed into the streets. There were whispered secrets between couples that passed by, hidden grins and giggles, eternal promises made, and Ryo hated every minute of it.
Still, he was standing in front of the chocolate shop and, damn it, he was going to go in there. He'd spent an entire twenty minutes building his resolve, blocking traffic on the sidewalk while hiding beneath a cap. He was a man, and he could buy chocolates anytime he wanted, even on a girly holiday. So, yes, damn it, he was going in. It was just going to take a while.
Unfortunately, his plan (or lack thereof) went abruptly awry. A rather large foreign woman carrying about her own weight in shopping bags rushed by, knocking the oblivious Ryo into the door of the shop.
He had no choice but to go in or face the shame of looking like the idiot who smashed into the door; he would much rather appear to be the cool guy who was attacked by a violent piece of a building. He pointedly ignored the nose print he left on the glass.
The female employees looked away as they tried to stifle giggles. After all, Ryo's hat had been knocked off by the collision, so even with hat hair he was recognizable. One of the male employees, ignoring Ryo's scowl, finally welcomed him to the shop.
"Is there something we can help you with, sir?"
"Obviously," Ryo muttered, glancing around the shop.
"...Excuse me sir, what was that?"
"Uh..." Ryo bent over one of the confection-filled display cases. He didn't know what in the world some of them were, but one of them was dusted with... something light--maybe cinnamon--but whatever it was it reminded him of a certain hair color...
"Those. Truffles? Yeah," he said, tapping the glass as the store clerk came over. "And... Nice box. Not too fancy. Uh..." Ryo pointed blindly at the selection of gift boxes. "That... one."
The box was lustrous, with stripes of alternating colors: gold, deep chocolate brown, and pink. Ryo, at that moment, could no longer count the times he'd wanted to die of embarrassment on one hand. He didn't raise his head as he took the chocolates and handed over the payment. It was the graceful way to handle it, he thought.
As he stepped outside, he breathed a sigh of relief.
Then he picked his hat up off the sidewalk and stalked home.
====
Yasu was forever the easiest member of the group to corner because he always wandered off on his own. And, fortunately for Ryo, Yasu was a hopeless romantic, or at least irritatingly sappy from time to time.
If Yasu would just stop asking questions, Ryo's plan could continue.
"No, don't read the note," Ryo said as Yasu pried the box lid up.
Yasu grinned at him. "Oh, there's a note? You're really going for it this time."
"Shut up, just... just deliver it, okay? Or I'll tell Subaru you stole his underwear last week."
Yasu tapped the lid closed. "Fine. Tomorrow morning?"
Ryo nodded. "But don't tell him it's from me."
Yasu pursed his lips and gave Ryo an entirely confounded look. "But, he'll know when he--"
Ryo threw up his hands in exasperation. "Do it!"
Yasu giggled. "Right. Got it."
Early the next morning, long before anyone had started Valentine's Day festivities, Ryo and Yasu arrived at the Uchi residence.
Ryo, mustering all his manly courage, hid behind a bush across the street while Yasu delivered the chocolates. He felt a painful twinge as Uchi's mom greeted Yasu at the door and intense anxiety when Yasu didn't emerge from the house immediately. Ryo's thoughts uncharacteristically hovered somewhere between worry and frustration and very close to God, I am an idiot. He tried to remember the wording of his note. Was it too sappy? Too blunt? Did he misspell anything?
With a low noise of annoyance, he shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. He'd done all he could, hadn't he? It was up to fate or destiny, or something really stupid like the chocolates containing some sort of love potion, or maybe Uchi had a girlfriend he hadn't told Ryo about and they'd grown apart and it was all very ridiculous so why should he bother?
Ryo snapped out of it as Yasu's cheery voice floated across the street. Immediately, he typed out an e-mail to Yasu: ?
From the opposite sidewalk, Yasu flashed a grin and a thumbs-up. Ryo collapsed into the bushes. Now it was just a waiting game.
====
No matter how long he stared at his phone, Ryo could not seem to find a way to bend the cosmos to his will and make it ring. Still, he practiced what he'd say to Uchi, and how he'd be incredibly cool and nonchalant to make up for giving him chocolates on the girls' day. It was done, and he could relax; or, actually, he needed to relax because he had driven the rest of the band bonkers and had been sent home.
At 5:43 PM, Ryo's willpower finally gave out. He picked up the phone and hit speed dial one.
"Hey, it's me," he said firmly when Uchi answered.
"Hi!" Uchi sounded cheerful, but Ryo could tell it was forced. It made his chest hurt, which made his head hurt, which generally worsened his mood further.
"Did you," Ryo began, but quickly changed topics. "So, how was your Valentine's Day?"
Try as he might, the rest of the conversation didn't go as swimmingly as he had hoped. It was small talk, with awkward hesitation on Ryo's part and just plain stupidity, Ryo thought, on Uchi's part. More than anything, he wanted to just burst out with a question about the chocolates and the note, and whether or not Uchi was going to stop pretending nothing had happened. Maybe, Ryo posited, his mother hadn't given it to him, or maybe she had eaten them all herself; after all, everyone thought that Yasu was "that way", and who wants their gorgeous, girly son to date a man? Or maybe Yasu had taken the note out...
Or, he finally thought, maybe it was just one huge mistake.
After a while Ryo deemed the conversation entirely pointless. He couldn't focus on Uchi's words--only on the sound of his voice. Ryo was distracted, emotionally drained, and frustrated, and he could hardly accept feeling that way. It was Uchi, and if Uchi really had a problem he'd be crying like a little girl. The thought that Uchi had miraculously grown up overnight was just preposterous to Ryo.
"Hello, Nishikido Ryo, are you listening? Testing..."
"Oi, I'm here," Ryo shouted, snapping out of yet another bout of ridiculous circular thoughts. Quickly, he shifted to a gentler tone, suddenly guilty as silence filled the line. He could practically hear the pout forming on Uchi's face. "I'm just tired. Stuff tomorrow, you know?"
"Oh, yeah," Uchi responded. "Well, get some sleep then, right?"
Ryo feigned cheeriness. "Yeah. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
He hung up before Uchi could say goodnight, and threw his phone angrily at his bed before flopping face-down onto his pillow.
"Ahhh, I'm an idiot," Ryo groaned. He wanted to blame someone or something, anything other than himself, because screwing this up should have been impossible. He knew he was exceptional, but this wasn't quite the thing he wanted to excel at. The only thing he was really thankful for was that he was a real man, and of course real men didn't cry. Ever.
Or at least they hid it in their pillow.
His thoughts spun wildly before dying down to a miserable cycle. Finally, thankfully, they simply floated through his mind and he fell into a shallow sleep.
====
At first, Ryo thought he'd imagined picking up the phone. He held it close to his face until the grogginess wore off and he could see clearly that he had pulled up Uchi's email address. Resigned, perhaps defeated, he typed out a message. All he could do was close his eyes and hit send. It was his indirect confession and apology, but at least he'd still have his pride.
Lying on his back, he began a mental checklist of what may have gone wrong. Suddenly inspired by what he considered to be his own stupidity, he started composing a no-holds-barred word association J-web entry that would ultimately be deciphered by fangirls and only fuel rumors. Sadly, it brought him minor satisfaction to know that his affection toward Uchi would live on in poorly-written prose.
His phone rang just as he was getting to the really emo part of the post. After a moment, the box with Uchi's name popped up. Ryo didn't think; he just slammed the phone to his ear. He steadied his breath and tried not to sound as bad as he felt.
"Hey."
And then it hit him. The sniffle. The dampened tone. Uchi was crying. Maybe the situation was even worse than he'd imagined.
Ryo panicked, all composure lost, ready to apologize as soon as he could stop freaking out about the tears. He wished he'd told Uchi to his face so he could have at least scolded him for crying.
"I didn't know it was from you. I'm sorry, Ryo-chan. I didn't know."
Ryo's thoughts stopped as abruptly as his heart did. For a moment, he forgot to breathe. It occurred to him, briefly, that his stupidity might just match perfectly with Uchi's in the situation, and maybe, just maybe...
Ryo closed his eyes, silently begging the universe to come through for him.
Uchi's confirmation and laughter brought Ryo to his feet. "Can I come over?"
Say yes, say yes, you idiot, say yes.
"Absolutely." The response made Ryo smile so hard it almost hurt. They really were both idiots, but at least they'd be idiots together.
He had utterly failed at being cool, staying calm, and acting like it didn't matter. It did. All the stupid things he'd done and ridiculous plans he'd made were absolutely worth it. He was already making plans to gloat at the next rehearsal, conveniently leaving out the parts about hiding behind bushes and running into doors. And probably the part where Uchi thought Yasu was confessing.
...Definitely that part, lest it end up on Utaban.
As he shrugged on a coat, Ryo couldn't stop himself from laughing. He already knew the first thing he'd say to Uchi's face.
"I love you. Now open packages when you get them."
The rest of the Challenge participants:
* Like a Ghost From a Wishing Well (The Flying Blind Remix) by agirlcalledkil ~ Remixing jadedfrenzy's With It's Wing
* I Only Miss You When You're Gone (The Doting Logic Remix) by agirlcalledkil ~ Remixing thawrecka's The Grand Masters of Squish
* Blame Yourself Only by tokyostory ~ Remixing mousapelli's Don't Blame Yourself Only
* Maturity by tinyangl ~ Remixing procreational's Satisfaction
* Natural Genius (The Around Every Corner Remix) by mousapelli ~ Remixing devetir's untitled PIN fic
* Does it Still Count as Dodging When You Can’t Even Tell That People Are Throwing Things at You In the First Place? by peroxidepest17 ~ Remixing jackoweskla's Tokyo and Osaka's Master Plan, It's Big News: The Valentine's Espionage Spectacular
* It's Not Goodbye by saya_l ~ Remixing imwahyou's untitled Akame fic
* because unrequited love leaves the worst aftertaste (backup valentine remix) by procreational ~ Remixing soucieux's Backup Valentine
Fandom: Johnny's Entertainment
Characters: Nishikido Ryo/Uchi Hiroki, special guest Yasuda Shota
Rating: PG for language
Warnings: Ryo abuse/torture/mocking by the author, but I MOCK BECAUSE I LOVE. Stream of consciousness for the lolz. This fic is not entirely srs bzns.
Summary: Ryo has chosen perhaps the worst day ever to confess to Uchi. A misadventure.
Notes: This is a remix of jain's Valentine's Day Challenge fic. Written, then, for the White Day Remix Challenge. Hopefully it makes someone laugh. XD MANY THANKS to procreational for saving me from MSOffice's auto-correct.
Ryo hated Valentine's Day.
Idiots are just looking for an excuse to buy things...
Ryo really hated Valentine's Day.
Oh, that girl is by herself. Cute haircut. Looks a little like... damn.
Ryo hated lots of days, lately.
Every store was bedecked in pinks and reds, and roses and chocolates seemingly overflowed into the streets. There were whispered secrets between couples that passed by, hidden grins and giggles, eternal promises made, and Ryo hated every minute of it.
Still, he was standing in front of the chocolate shop and, damn it, he was going to go in there. He'd spent an entire twenty minutes building his resolve, blocking traffic on the sidewalk while hiding beneath a cap. He was a man, and he could buy chocolates anytime he wanted, even on a girly holiday. So, yes, damn it, he was going in. It was just going to take a while.
Unfortunately, his plan (or lack thereof) went abruptly awry. A rather large foreign woman carrying about her own weight in shopping bags rushed by, knocking the oblivious Ryo into the door of the shop.
He had no choice but to go in or face the shame of looking like the idiot who smashed into the door; he would much rather appear to be the cool guy who was attacked by a violent piece of a building. He pointedly ignored the nose print he left on the glass.
The female employees looked away as they tried to stifle giggles. After all, Ryo's hat had been knocked off by the collision, so even with hat hair he was recognizable. One of the male employees, ignoring Ryo's scowl, finally welcomed him to the shop.
"Is there something we can help you with, sir?"
"Obviously," Ryo muttered, glancing around the shop.
"...Excuse me sir, what was that?"
"Uh..." Ryo bent over one of the confection-filled display cases. He didn't know what in the world some of them were, but one of them was dusted with... something light--maybe cinnamon--but whatever it was it reminded him of a certain hair color...
"Those. Truffles? Yeah," he said, tapping the glass as the store clerk came over. "And... Nice box. Not too fancy. Uh..." Ryo pointed blindly at the selection of gift boxes. "That... one."
The box was lustrous, with stripes of alternating colors: gold, deep chocolate brown, and pink. Ryo, at that moment, could no longer count the times he'd wanted to die of embarrassment on one hand. He didn't raise his head as he took the chocolates and handed over the payment. It was the graceful way to handle it, he thought.
As he stepped outside, he breathed a sigh of relief.
Then he picked his hat up off the sidewalk and stalked home.
====
Yasu was forever the easiest member of the group to corner because he always wandered off on his own. And, fortunately for Ryo, Yasu was a hopeless romantic, or at least irritatingly sappy from time to time.
If Yasu would just stop asking questions, Ryo's plan could continue.
"No, don't read the note," Ryo said as Yasu pried the box lid up.
Yasu grinned at him. "Oh, there's a note? You're really going for it this time."
"Shut up, just... just deliver it, okay? Or I'll tell Subaru you stole his underwear last week."
Yasu tapped the lid closed. "Fine. Tomorrow morning?"
Ryo nodded. "But don't tell him it's from me."
Yasu pursed his lips and gave Ryo an entirely confounded look. "But, he'll know when he--"
Ryo threw up his hands in exasperation. "Do it!"
Yasu giggled. "Right. Got it."
Early the next morning, long before anyone had started Valentine's Day festivities, Ryo and Yasu arrived at the Uchi residence.
Ryo, mustering all his manly courage, hid behind a bush across the street while Yasu delivered the chocolates. He felt a painful twinge as Uchi's mom greeted Yasu at the door and intense anxiety when Yasu didn't emerge from the house immediately. Ryo's thoughts uncharacteristically hovered somewhere between worry and frustration and very close to God, I am an idiot. He tried to remember the wording of his note. Was it too sappy? Too blunt? Did he misspell anything?
With a low noise of annoyance, he shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. He'd done all he could, hadn't he? It was up to fate or destiny, or something really stupid like the chocolates containing some sort of love potion, or maybe Uchi had a girlfriend he hadn't told Ryo about and they'd grown apart and it was all very ridiculous so why should he bother?
Ryo snapped out of it as Yasu's cheery voice floated across the street. Immediately, he typed out an e-mail to Yasu: ?
From the opposite sidewalk, Yasu flashed a grin and a thumbs-up. Ryo collapsed into the bushes. Now it was just a waiting game.
====
No matter how long he stared at his phone, Ryo could not seem to find a way to bend the cosmos to his will and make it ring. Still, he practiced what he'd say to Uchi, and how he'd be incredibly cool and nonchalant to make up for giving him chocolates on the girls' day. It was done, and he could relax; or, actually, he needed to relax because he had driven the rest of the band bonkers and had been sent home.
At 5:43 PM, Ryo's willpower finally gave out. He picked up the phone and hit speed dial one.
"Hey, it's me," he said firmly when Uchi answered.
"Hi!" Uchi sounded cheerful, but Ryo could tell it was forced. It made his chest hurt, which made his head hurt, which generally worsened his mood further.
"Did you," Ryo began, but quickly changed topics. "So, how was your Valentine's Day?"
Try as he might, the rest of the conversation didn't go as swimmingly as he had hoped. It was small talk, with awkward hesitation on Ryo's part and just plain stupidity, Ryo thought, on Uchi's part. More than anything, he wanted to just burst out with a question about the chocolates and the note, and whether or not Uchi was going to stop pretending nothing had happened. Maybe, Ryo posited, his mother hadn't given it to him, or maybe she had eaten them all herself; after all, everyone thought that Yasu was "that way", and who wants their gorgeous, girly son to date a man? Or maybe Yasu had taken the note out...
Or, he finally thought, maybe it was just one huge mistake.
After a while Ryo deemed the conversation entirely pointless. He couldn't focus on Uchi's words--only on the sound of his voice. Ryo was distracted, emotionally drained, and frustrated, and he could hardly accept feeling that way. It was Uchi, and if Uchi really had a problem he'd be crying like a little girl. The thought that Uchi had miraculously grown up overnight was just preposterous to Ryo.
"Hello, Nishikido Ryo, are you listening? Testing..."
"Oi, I'm here," Ryo shouted, snapping out of yet another bout of ridiculous circular thoughts. Quickly, he shifted to a gentler tone, suddenly guilty as silence filled the line. He could practically hear the pout forming on Uchi's face. "I'm just tired. Stuff tomorrow, you know?"
"Oh, yeah," Uchi responded. "Well, get some sleep then, right?"
Ryo feigned cheeriness. "Yeah. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
He hung up before Uchi could say goodnight, and threw his phone angrily at his bed before flopping face-down onto his pillow.
"Ahhh, I'm an idiot," Ryo groaned. He wanted to blame someone or something, anything other than himself, because screwing this up should have been impossible. He knew he was exceptional, but this wasn't quite the thing he wanted to excel at. The only thing he was really thankful for was that he was a real man, and of course real men didn't cry. Ever.
Or at least they hid it in their pillow.
His thoughts spun wildly before dying down to a miserable cycle. Finally, thankfully, they simply floated through his mind and he fell into a shallow sleep.
====
At first, Ryo thought he'd imagined picking up the phone. He held it close to his face until the grogginess wore off and he could see clearly that he had pulled up Uchi's email address. Resigned, perhaps defeated, he typed out a message. All he could do was close his eyes and hit send. It was his indirect confession and apology, but at least he'd still have his pride.
Lying on his back, he began a mental checklist of what may have gone wrong. Suddenly inspired by what he considered to be his own stupidity, he started composing a no-holds-barred word association J-web entry that would ultimately be deciphered by fangirls and only fuel rumors. Sadly, it brought him minor satisfaction to know that his affection toward Uchi would live on in poorly-written prose.
His phone rang just as he was getting to the really emo part of the post. After a moment, the box with Uchi's name popped up. Ryo didn't think; he just slammed the phone to his ear. He steadied his breath and tried not to sound as bad as he felt.
"Hey."
And then it hit him. The sniffle. The dampened tone. Uchi was crying. Maybe the situation was even worse than he'd imagined.
Ryo panicked, all composure lost, ready to apologize as soon as he could stop freaking out about the tears. He wished he'd told Uchi to his face so he could have at least scolded him for crying.
"I didn't know it was from you. I'm sorry, Ryo-chan. I didn't know."
Ryo's thoughts stopped as abruptly as his heart did. For a moment, he forgot to breathe. It occurred to him, briefly, that his stupidity might just match perfectly with Uchi's in the situation, and maybe, just maybe...
Ryo closed his eyes, silently begging the universe to come through for him.
Uchi's confirmation and laughter brought Ryo to his feet. "Can I come over?"
Say yes, say yes, you idiot, say yes.
"Absolutely." The response made Ryo smile so hard it almost hurt. They really were both idiots, but at least they'd be idiots together.
He had utterly failed at being cool, staying calm, and acting like it didn't matter. It did. All the stupid things he'd done and ridiculous plans he'd made were absolutely worth it. He was already making plans to gloat at the next rehearsal, conveniently leaving out the parts about hiding behind bushes and running into doors. And probably the part where Uchi thought Yasu was confessing.
...Definitely that part, lest it end up on Utaban.
As he shrugged on a coat, Ryo couldn't stop himself from laughing. He already knew the first thing he'd say to Uchi's face.
"I love you. Now open packages when you get them."
The rest of the Challenge participants:
* Like a Ghost From a Wishing Well (The Flying Blind Remix) by agirlcalledkil ~ Remixing jadedfrenzy's With It's Wing
* I Only Miss You When You're Gone (The Doting Logic Remix) by agirlcalledkil ~ Remixing thawrecka's The Grand Masters of Squish
* Blame Yourself Only by tokyostory ~ Remixing mousapelli's Don't Blame Yourself Only
* Maturity by tinyangl ~ Remixing procreational's Satisfaction
* Natural Genius (The Around Every Corner Remix) by mousapelli ~ Remixing devetir's untitled PIN fic
* Does it Still Count as Dodging When You Can’t Even Tell That People Are Throwing Things at You In the First Place? by peroxidepest17 ~ Remixing jackoweskla's Tokyo and Osaka's Master Plan, It's Big News: The Valentine's Espionage Spectacular
* It's Not Goodbye by saya_l ~ Remixing imwahyou's untitled Akame fic
* because unrequited love leaves the worst aftertaste (backup valentine remix) by procreational ~ Remixing soucieux's Backup Valentine