(no subject)
YAY Jesus' birthday is coming. Not much else to jump and shout for. Got a majore blue streak intermixed with a huge case of the FUCKITS ,to quote a friend. I hate most major holidays, they remind me how much my past has sucked and how much being alone blows. seems most everywhere i turn noone is giving me a whole lot of attention or heed. Fixed another major issue with my car WHOO its drivable again (thank God for that) but found out my water pump is not far from shitting itself. Iam wondering Why i bother with most things in life. If i bsut ass at work i get no gratitude or more money jsut a sore body and a bad attitude. So i have just been working fairly hard but not where i'll break down physically. Not worth it. Sick of trying with people, not many of them realy give a fuck anymore or realy wanta damned thing to do with me it seems. To busy with their world/lives I guess I can understand that they have lives i don't. Noone i care about seems to return the feelings. I probably try to hard. Why i'll probably stay a mostly friendless alone and hurting perceivable unwanted basterd child. SO yea FUCK IT ALL! (goes back to pondering what caliber is best......)