Yes I'd rather take a responsible person over a person who values freedom anyday.
Hm it's hard to say divorce is increasing. I wouldn't compare it to the past however since marriage back then was moreso for economic gain and not for love (which was a silly idea at the time). Also there is a rise in divorce in areas with more economic hardship and with the current economy it's more likely to be seen. I know in France there isn't a high number of "marriage", but there is a lot higher numbers of cohabitation, even including raising a family and that's actually more steady than those in traditional marriage supposedly. Perhaps divorce is a cultural thing. I think divorce should occur though if it allows both parties to become happier and more responsible. No point in staying together if all the kids see is parents unhappy and arguing with each other which is probably more emotionally scarring. It's better if both parents are happy (separating on amicable terms) and being responsible parents to the kids by being there together.
I think the situation with suicide is far trickier as it tends to be higher in Asian countries than Western ones due to the difference in culture and views on the topic. It is sad how it hasn't decreased though as modernize culture has become.
o-o I would be so scared if divorce is cultural, that's like saying as if humans have no capabilities of commitment.
There are many ways to solve problems, often, people chose the easy way out. To me, divorce is essentially an escapade, the easiest way to solve problem.
When you gave birth of life, you're responsible for them. The most basic out of this is giving them a complete family, not a broken one.
How often people who divorced actually ask their children if it's better for their parents to get separated? Most of time, this is something that parents selfishly decide on their own.
I'm not saying divorce shouldn't be allowed, but most of time people do it not because they were given little choice. They do it for the sake of themselves. And that's what I mean by being irresponsible. Many people aren't responsible enough to think of the consequences. They just do what they want.
I've seen so many broken families, there's no way I can say that divorce is a positive thing. The effect of broken family is so strong for children who experienced it. They will question "why do I need to be born from the two who never really like each other?".
And I will even extend this to people who decide to marry so easily! Many people nowadays take marriage lightly. And that's precisely why divorce is so rampant. People are being too free and too irresponsible and doing things based on what favor them "at the moment", not for something in a long run. People don't plan for the future. As a result, many have children when they aren't even up to the task to take care of them. Abortion and stuff, lots of things can be prevented if you're being responsible.
In Asia, divorce is a lot less common than in US. It's simply because our culture nurture us to be responsible. On the downside, it takes away freedom, and some people live unhappy life. However, I'm not sure if I condone the lifestyle of the west either. For example, my parents who fight all their life, they do this for the sake of the next generation. I can't help but to admire those who can live for the sake of others. This isn't something many people can do.
GAH! I wrote essay again! >-< And I'm still haven't even say anything on the suicide matter. Orz *Digs hole, bury myself for saying too much again.*
Well I say it's cultural as some cultures probably don't have it as much as there's probably a higher level of stigma for divorce. Also the fact that people are less likely to get married now of days, this skews the statement that divorce is on the rise (cause that's a different point of measure). It is probably increasing in cultures that had low divorce rates before like in Middle East and Asia. I'm also quoting my psych textbook on that and below.
Yes I agree that is probably true for a majority of cases and divorce can be considered an escapade, but I know never to put an umbrella statement on all people. I agree that divorce is very stressful to both the adults and kids, but in some cases it may be beneficial. Cases where there is emotional or physical abuse, or the parent works so much and isn't there for the kids. It's also dependent on the community and relatives, who may punish (inadvertently) or support children of divorce. In ethnic groups that have more likelihood of divorce or separation, the kids are actually less troubled by it (as the community doesn't punish the kids), compared to ethnic groups kids that have it less often (higher stigma).
I guess while its true majority of families are broken, those that I personally know that come from divorced families including my own cousins, the kids grew up just fine. If anything one cousin was more upset about the remarriage (10+ years later after the divorce). She has since gotten over that and loves her step siblings like her other siblings.
I agree people marry cause it's really easy to, instead of fully knowing this is the person they should be with. They also think "love" lasts forever, but the true reality is it rarely does. Or they're too stubborn to work things out. But it is an incorrect way of thinking that human beings are monogamous, if anything it's a mixture of monogamous individuals and polygamous individuals. Scientists have constantly used birds as a perfect example of monogamous, but have discovered they practice their own form of adultery in order to get "the best genes". I guess it's a bit ironic how much gay and lesbian couples fight for marriage, and the states that allow it, has actually seen increase in marriage rates and decrease in divorce rates.
While I agree there are many children that shouldn't be born out of irresponsibility, I think it's a mixture of why there is less responsibility in those individuals. I believe it's biological (gene reproduction push), as well as socially with the lack of education in creating responsible individuals. This is tangent though.
Eh some would say Asia is slow to modernize socially. One example, minority ethnic groups are less likely to report situations of domestic violence (where clearly divorce is important). I know it's also true as my mother has told me before how she was surprised that she had friends that have emigrated from Vietnam to the US, and have told her their husbands verbally and physically abuse them here. My mother couldn't believe they would stay with their husbands, and wouldn't stay with my father if he did something like that. I pretty much told her "It's cause you're American." My mom emigrated during her teen years and was educated here. Not to say the Western culture is better than Asian one, both sides have large faults. Asia is more passive-aggressive, and pushes for "community" harmony at the expense of of "individual" harmony, which is probably why there is a high level of suicide.
From a personal view, my parents were almost about to separate. It was extremely hard on me and I'm sure it created quite an episode with my many relatives, but they weren't really helping out my parents and added more stress to my parents. I did however told my parents I both want them to be happy, even if they are separated in order to achieve that. I think that made it easier on my parents as they had one less stress from me, and I convinced them to talk out their issues and to try it once more (yes I ended up being a mediator at some point). They actually worked out their issues and are still together.
Sorry o_o;; I had my essay as well. You sure bring up big topics sometimes lol.
Hm it's hard to say divorce is increasing. I wouldn't compare it to the past however since marriage back then was moreso for economic gain and not for love (which was a silly idea at the time). Also there is a rise in divorce in areas with more economic hardship and with the current economy it's more likely to be seen. I know in France there isn't a high number of "marriage", but there is a lot higher numbers of cohabitation, even including raising a family and that's actually more steady than those in traditional marriage supposedly. Perhaps divorce is a cultural thing. I think divorce should occur though if it allows both parties to become happier and more responsible. No point in staying together if all the kids see is parents unhappy and arguing with each other which is probably more emotionally scarring. It's better if both parents are happy (separating on amicable terms) and being responsible parents to the kids by being there together.
I think the situation with suicide is far trickier as it tends to be higher in Asian countries than Western ones due to the difference in culture and views on the topic. It is sad how it hasn't decreased though as modernize culture has become.
Reply
There are many ways to solve problems, often, people chose the easy way out. To me, divorce is essentially an escapade, the easiest way to solve problem.
When you gave birth of life, you're responsible for them. The most basic out of this is giving them a complete family, not a broken one.
How often people who divorced actually ask their children if it's better for their parents to get separated? Most of time, this is something that parents selfishly decide on their own.
I'm not saying divorce shouldn't be allowed, but most of time people do it not because they were given little choice. They do it for the sake of themselves. And that's what I mean by being irresponsible. Many people aren't responsible enough to think of the consequences. They just do what they want.
I've seen so many broken families, there's no way I can say that divorce is a positive thing. The effect of broken family is so strong for children who experienced it. They will question "why do I need to be born from the two who never really like each other?".
And I will even extend this to people who decide to marry so easily! Many people nowadays take marriage lightly. And that's precisely why divorce is so rampant. People are being too free and too irresponsible and doing things based on what favor them "at the moment", not for something in a long run. People don't plan for the future. As a result, many have children when they aren't even up to the task to take care of them. Abortion and stuff, lots of things can be prevented if you're being responsible.
In Asia, divorce is a lot less common than in US. It's simply because our culture nurture us to be responsible. On the downside, it takes away freedom, and some people live unhappy life. However, I'm not sure if I condone the lifestyle of the west either. For example, my parents who fight all their life, they do this for the sake of the next generation. I can't help but to admire those who can live for the sake of others. This isn't something many people can do.
GAH! I wrote essay again! >-< And I'm still haven't even say anything on the suicide matter. Orz *Digs hole, bury myself for saying too much again.*
Reply
Yes I agree that is probably true for a majority of cases and divorce can be considered an escapade, but I know never to put an umbrella statement on all people. I agree that divorce is very stressful to both the adults and kids, but in some cases it may be beneficial. Cases where there is emotional or physical abuse, or the parent works so much and isn't there for the kids. It's also dependent on the community and relatives, who may punish (inadvertently) or support children of divorce. In ethnic groups that have more likelihood of divorce or separation, the kids are actually less troubled by it (as the community doesn't punish the kids), compared to ethnic groups kids that have it less often (higher stigma).
I guess while its true majority of families are broken, those that I personally know that come from divorced families including my own cousins, the kids grew up just fine. If anything one cousin was more upset about the remarriage (10+ years later after the divorce). She has since gotten over that and loves her step siblings like her other siblings.
I agree people marry cause it's really easy to, instead of fully knowing this is the person they should be with. They also think "love" lasts forever, but the true reality is it rarely does. Or they're too stubborn to work things out. But it is an incorrect way of thinking that human beings are monogamous, if anything it's a mixture of monogamous individuals and polygamous individuals. Scientists have constantly used birds as a perfect example of monogamous, but have discovered they practice their own form of adultery in order to get "the best genes". I guess it's a bit ironic how much gay and lesbian couples fight for marriage, and the states that allow it, has actually seen increase in marriage rates and decrease in divorce rates.
While I agree there are many children that shouldn't be born out of irresponsibility, I think it's a mixture of why there is less responsibility in those individuals. I believe it's biological (gene reproduction push), as well as socially with the lack of education in creating responsible individuals. This is tangent though.
Eh some would say Asia is slow to modernize socially. One example, minority ethnic groups are less likely to report situations of domestic violence (where clearly divorce is important). I know it's also true as my mother has told me before how she was surprised that she had friends that have emigrated from Vietnam to the US, and have told her their husbands verbally and physically abuse them here. My mother couldn't believe they would stay with their husbands, and wouldn't stay with my father if he did something like that. I pretty much told her "It's cause you're American." My mom emigrated during her teen years and was educated here. Not to say the Western culture is better than Asian one, both sides have large faults. Asia is more passive-aggressive, and pushes for "community" harmony at the expense of of "individual" harmony, which is probably why there is a high level of suicide.
From a personal view, my parents were almost about to separate. It was extremely hard on me and I'm sure it created quite an episode with my many relatives, but they weren't really helping out my parents and added more stress to my parents. I did however told my parents I both want them to be happy, even if they are separated in order to achieve that. I think that made it easier on my parents as they had one less stress from me, and I convinced them to talk out their issues and to try it once more (yes I ended up being a mediator at some point). They actually worked out their issues and are still together.
Sorry o_o;; I had my essay as well. You sure bring up big topics sometimes lol.
Reply
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