I Hate How I Hate Me -.-
Aggh. The super wonderful andd genki val-chan is once again in a nasty funky mood -.- But then again, I've only had two cups of tea. The night is young, my dearies. I was in Queens for several days, and I got back yesterday. I'd recap the whole sordid tale, but I'm cranky right now >.< CRANKY!, i say. Eeeckgh. Oh, and my AIM's acting up, so If i disappear on you, do not be offended. well, my thought process which led to this crap mental climate transpired somethign like this:
"Aaagh >.< I hate myself I'm so unimportant >.< AGH! Maybe I shoudl just DIE >.< RAR"
"Ooo~ I feel *sooo* sorry for you ~sarcasm~"
"No one loves meeee~ I am no ones' number one. >.< It's disconcerting! ~angstangst~"
"Didn't you specifically *plan* yourself to be this way, so no one woudl get too attached to you -.- ?"
"Yes........but I don't care! >.< I'm "not sad"!"
"~sigh~ No more Zach for you, my young padowan"
"Fuufuufuuu~ But no one loves meeee~"
Sam: "Everyone loves you!"
"REally! ~wiggley eyes~ I'm so happy! ~starts to actually cry~"
"Aggh -.-"
"yay! I'll be fine now! All I have to do is overlook the fact that no one will ever owe me their supreme allegiance! And concentrate on being awesoem"
"Yea...the whole point of not becoming to integral to any one person was so you could *WORK*...remember that? *WORK*?"
"Oh yeaa...ehehhee T_T;;"
"Besides..who *are* you that you think you deserve anyone's supreme allegiance anyway? You specifically tell people not to have faith in you because you don't want to let them down"
"Oh...right."
"Now go do cool things and brightly burn til you die"
"Um..thanks?"
Sam: "You're hiding from your problems"
"No I'm not, I'm sitting across the table form them starign ^_^"
Sam: "Oookaay"
So that's basically what happned in my mind today and i kind of am a little deaded and psychotic right now, btu that's okay! Self loathing is somethign I've lain cheek and jowl with my entire life! Not a problem because I am the solution. I have no plans but thats alright! Can you trust me in the night? I pray you obey -- mwahahah..MIDNIGHT CELEBRATION!!! I'm goignn to go now and drown my problems in several many mugs of tea!! And then the caffeine will get me chipper and as val-tacular as ever. I can do this. I am unstoppable. Ike Valchan!
"Aaagh >.< I hate myself I'm so unimportant >.< AGH! Maybe I shoudl just DIE >.< RAR"
"Ooo~ I feel *sooo* sorry for you ~sarcasm~"
"No one loves meeee~ I am no ones' number one. >.< It's disconcerting! ~angstangst~"
"Didn't you specifically *plan* yourself to be this way, so no one woudl get too attached to you -.- ?"
"Yes........but I don't care! >.< I'm "not sad"!"
"~sigh~ No more Zach for you, my young padowan"
"Fuufuufuuu~ But no one loves meeee~"
Sam: "Everyone loves you!"
"REally! ~wiggley eyes~ I'm so happy! ~starts to actually cry~"
"Aggh -.-"
"yay! I'll be fine now! All I have to do is overlook the fact that no one will ever owe me their supreme allegiance! And concentrate on being awesoem"
"Yea...the whole point of not becoming to integral to any one person was so you could *WORK*...remember that? *WORK*?"
"Oh yeaa...ehehhee T_T;;"
"Besides..who *are* you that you think you deserve anyone's supreme allegiance anyway? You specifically tell people not to have faith in you because you don't want to let them down"
"Oh...right."
"Now go do cool things and brightly burn til you die"
"Um..thanks?"
Sam: "You're hiding from your problems"
"No I'm not, I'm sitting across the table form them starign ^_^"
Sam: "Oookaay"
So that's basically what happned in my mind today and i kind of am a little deaded and psychotic right now, btu that's okay! Self loathing is somethign I've lain cheek and jowl with my entire life! Not a problem because I am the solution. I have no plans but thats alright! Can you trust me in the night? I pray you obey -- mwahahah..MIDNIGHT CELEBRATION!!! I'm goignn to go now and drown my problems in several many mugs of tea!! And then the caffeine will get me chipper and as val-tacular as ever. I can do this. I am unstoppable. Ike Valchan!