Too Badass for Unnoble Swervings
Watched "The Color Purple" and FMA movie and cried a lot. why cant ppl get along, wtf
Auntie Val needs to turn the juice back on.
I feel like a slowly fading dying tinkerbell. The sparkle is dissipating in complacency.
I want contentment, I suppose, but that's just not who I am.
I like to think I'm progress, creativity, fertility, insanity.
Contentment kills drive. It's why Americans tend to be lazy complacent SUCKAZ.
My purpose is people. But the social empire I aspired to create never really materialized.
So what future am I trying to be prepared for?
Susan/Ryan; John/Christina -- those are important people to me.
I'm so lucky that they love me for my craziness -- I have to be worthy of their affection.
I want to give up because I feel unloved, but that is so ridiculously untrue.
The apathy and psychoses are swirling around in my brain, fighting.
I need to panic and freak out and do crazy shit and hurt myself.
That's when I'm alive. I need to live, to prove I exist by annihilating that self.
I suppose I want the orgasm of life, where I'm living so hard, I surpass the limit.
But after that I'll die, and I've gotten quite attached to life. I'm honestly surprised I'm still alive >_>;;
Living was so much easier when I just wanted to die.
I just want to explode into thousands of tiny val pieces.
Don't bother putting them back unless you can offer me yourself to live for.
And then I just realized, SURPRISE! You had work to do, LOLZ.
Tomorrow: 18th Century Midterm.
Thursday: Time Consuming Japanese HW Due
Friday: Milton Paper on Comus and Christ's Nativity Due
and then after that I get to go to Tuesday's bar and possibly see even *more* old friends <3
"RAWR I EMASCULATE LITTLE BOYS FOR BREAKFAST" oh how i love that picture/caption
Auntie Val needs to turn the juice back on.
I feel like a slowly fading dying tinkerbell. The sparkle is dissipating in complacency.
I want contentment, I suppose, but that's just not who I am.
I like to think I'm progress, creativity, fertility, insanity.
Contentment kills drive. It's why Americans tend to be lazy complacent SUCKAZ.
My purpose is people. But the social empire I aspired to create never really materialized.
So what future am I trying to be prepared for?
Susan/Ryan; John/Christina -- those are important people to me.
I'm so lucky that they love me for my craziness -- I have to be worthy of their affection.
I want to give up because I feel unloved, but that is so ridiculously untrue.
The apathy and psychoses are swirling around in my brain, fighting.
I need to panic and freak out and do crazy shit and hurt myself.
That's when I'm alive. I need to live, to prove I exist by annihilating that self.
I suppose I want the orgasm of life, where I'm living so hard, I surpass the limit.
But after that I'll die, and I've gotten quite attached to life. I'm honestly surprised I'm still alive >_>;;
Living was so much easier when I just wanted to die.
I just want to explode into thousands of tiny val pieces.
Don't bother putting them back unless you can offer me yourself to live for.
And then I just realized, SURPRISE! You had work to do, LOLZ.
Tomorrow: 18th Century Midterm.
Thursday: Time Consuming Japanese HW Due
Friday: Milton Paper on Comus and Christ's Nativity Due
and then after that I get to go to Tuesday's bar and possibly see even *more* old friends <3
"RAWR I EMASCULATE LITTLE BOYS FOR BREAKFAST" oh how i love that picture/caption