October 4th -- Day of SUCK
Spent the morning arguing and feeling attacked, about the way I carried on my interpersonal relationships. Especially freaked out by the suggestion that people were resenting me and not liking behind my back, because I constantly invade people's privacy, instead of like *telling* me somthing was wrong. And those relationships are really important, *really* important to me, so when someone tells me something at the very core of my interactions with others is like... making people not like me. I find that REALLY UPSETTING.
And then class sucked esp after like, no sleep, because three very arrogant BOYS in my class, two of which fucking speak pretty much fluent Japanese, were like "lalala the ENTIRE class shoudl be conducted completely in Japanese". Which...i can't handle. But instead of calmly realizing I was much higher than a number of people in the class, and that i shoudl remain calm, I panicked and cried >_>;;; well, only a little, most crying was done after class/on the train. Gah, japanese is realy demoralizing and I want to give up but im me, so i wont. Of course, that was jsut momentary panic, i'm actually doing quite well >_>;;
And then it got later in the day and things GREATLY IMPROVED.
This is thanks to 1st Anna Sophie and then, more extensively, Diana.
dinner + nihongo de fairytales + bubble tea + aji ichiban = less super upset val.
And then I actually *spoke* to people. And it seems that those I worry about really, I shouldnt worry about as much as I do >_>;;; And that was really comforting, because i really *was* worried. And then I was relieived ^^ but still wanted to cry ^^;;;
Sitting with Travel Freak Hall, and am feeling mollified. will be more mollified once i get pet
"No, it's different, groupies are more pathetic; okage are more creepy"
"Ahahhhaa"
"...hey, how do you spell creepy?"
And then class sucked esp after like, no sleep, because three very arrogant BOYS in my class, two of which fucking speak pretty much fluent Japanese, were like "lalala the ENTIRE class shoudl be conducted completely in Japanese". Which...i can't handle. But instead of calmly realizing I was much higher than a number of people in the class, and that i shoudl remain calm, I panicked and cried >_>;;; well, only a little, most crying was done after class/on the train. Gah, japanese is realy demoralizing and I want to give up but im me, so i wont. Of course, that was jsut momentary panic, i'm actually doing quite well >_>;;
And then it got later in the day and things GREATLY IMPROVED.
This is thanks to 1st Anna Sophie and then, more extensively, Diana.
dinner + nihongo de fairytales + bubble tea + aji ichiban = less super upset val.
And then I actually *spoke* to people. And it seems that those I worry about really, I shouldnt worry about as much as I do >_>;;; And that was really comforting, because i really *was* worried. And then I was relieived ^^ but still wanted to cry ^^;;;
Sitting with Travel Freak Hall, and am feeling mollified. will be more mollified once i get pet
"No, it's different, groupies are more pathetic; okage are more creepy"
"Ahahhhaa"
"...hey, how do you spell creepy?"