The Confessions of A Slash Addict
*awesome vs not so awesome
All right, I can't stand it anymore. I really can't. I've gritted my teeth and thought to myself, "one day this too shall pass." It hasn't. And it looks like it's not going to any time soon. So I'm gonna just say it:I hate most original slash novel covers
There. It's out now. I can finally stop feeling conflicted. Now, you might be asking: why Zeffs, why would you hate most original slash covers? Short answer, they lack oomph and class. Long answer...well, for the long answer, you need to buckle yourself in with a glass of vodka at hand. (Like I'm doing right now in fact).
Before we launch into the dark depths of cover art, let me make it very clear, that these are my opinion. You're free to agree or disagree with it. Disagreements are awesome by the way. I feel I should also clarify that while at times my opinions are harsh, the critiques of the covers are not critiques of the publishers or the artists. I will do my best not to insult people or their taste (but sometimes my snark gets the better of me) and all examples used below were picked randomly.
Now that that's out of the way:
Let's mosey, as a certain famous video game character once said and start by outlining what I think would qualify as a good cover.
1) It should tell the potential readers something about the story (failing clear communication, it should be so damn intriguing the readers want to pick it up)
2) It should be tasteful (meaning uncluttered with aesthetically pleasing fonts and typography)
3) As an addendum to the previous point: readers shouldn't be ashamed to read your book on public transport (so please, no more of the gratuitous half-naked people)
I'm gonna start by taking a look at the professional publishing world (not to say slash publishers aren't professional but...well, you get the point). Just so it's understood that my fervent hatred for bad covers isn't limited to original slash. Let's take Young Adult Urban Fantasy for example. Ever since Twilight, there's been a boom in YA UF, especially ones with female leads. Well, females who are ostensibly leads but are more like damsels in distress, but that's a rant for another day. So, yes, boom in YA/UF. My point is, with that boom came a boom in generic covers. They're all shades of black/another colour, and contain: a girl, magicky looking background, shimmers if the designer feels inspired, and tendrils. Like, a fuckton of tendrils. A plethora of tendrils. (kudos to it for not having a girl as centrepiece, but what the heck's up with the fire shimmer thing? I prefer the other version of the covers.)
Or the trend of having young stick-thin girls with their backs to the reader, their face half-turned around. Here is what I mean. Does this tell me anything about the story? Nope. Forest plus girl could mean anything; serial killers, ghosts, werewolves, a zombie Tarzan survival story. The possibilities are endless. Is it tasteful? YMMV but I don't think so (the title's font kills me a little). Is it something I'd read on public transport? Heck no. It would go to the back of my shelves where no one would discover my shameful love for chick lit/YA/UF. My arty friends will probably also add that it feels too slick and photoshopped.
The boys don't exactly get away scot free either. Then there's this. It's in a class of its own honestly. I don't know what I find more offensive; the fonts, the girl and the boy posing heroically, or the COMPLETELY random shot of the city.
And lest I be hung for my hate on for YA/UF I do have covers in the genre I like! This one is gorgeous. Black+other colour, true, but the design is just too damn pretty to pass up. As is this one (intriguing is fine remember?) Or this one. And definitely this, it's a little cluttered but you already know with one glance it's gonna be steampunk. And say what you like about Twilight, those chessboard covers were pretty.
Let's take a breather here, where y'all judge me.
But it's not just YA that does horrid things like this. Adult UF isn't much better. Take a look at the covers for any Anita Blake book. Or the Harlequin Romance UF books (I don't even know man). Even fantasy can't escape the clutches of bad covers.
On the whole though, the covers you'd find by walking into any self-respecting bookstore aren't too bad. I wish I could say the same for original slash. A significant portion of them are, to put it politely, awful. Not all of them, not all the time, and as the years have passed things have definitely improved but I still see Harlequin-esque covers everywhere I turn. Maybe it's all about where I'm shopping. Or maybe I just notice the bad ones cos there's a smaller pool of samples to pick from. But there are certain things that plain bug me about original slash covers.
For this section I'm gonna choose four different covers and talk about why they don't work for me.
1) Two men + BG = Cover
This is the kind of cover I see everywhere. Two men, in varying states of undress, hovering over a background that contains plot point stuff. I suppose you could say it tells you something about the story, and that it's at least not overtly sexual which means you can read on a bus with impunity. Sure, you can say all that, but the truth of the matter is that unless done well, it comes out looking generic. And messy. And simple. Not the good kind of simple. The kind that tells me the cover artists probably didn't put a lot of thought into it. Or maybe they did, but that's not what it's telling me.
Can it work sometimes? Sure. I don't mind it here. But again, it's because the design feels deliberate and thought out.
2) The ABCs of, well, the ABCs
The first time I saw Exhibit A, I didn't know what I was seeing. Was it hieroglyphs I asked myself. Did I need more coffee was my next question. After a few seconds of incomprehensible silence, my eyes finally adjusted, like those 3D pictures, and I realised they were words. Might be my glasses acting up but seriously, that font is just so hard for my eyes to decipher. It looks awesome and cool yes, but hella on the optic nerve. Exhibit B has a whole other problem. It has, for some reason, three very different fonts (or maybe it's two?), and the bottom two are spiky. Why, out of all the ten thousand plus fonts out there, was spiky font picked? More importantly, why is the "infected" and "prey" parts splayed over his body that?
Fonts and typography are important, and when they aren't done well, they pop out like pimples. Fonts should fit the theme of the story e.g. don't use curly fonts in a contemporary novel about sports. Fonts should fit the design so if you got a plain cover, then use a plain font. And they should be readable; curls and tendrils and elaborate serifs or extra bits jutting out is damn distracting. And always always always always think about where you're putting the text and why.
Don't be afraid to go for simple . This, is ridiculously simple, but see how easy it is to read, how the colours match? The way that flame replaces the "I"? I fucking love it. KISS as they say.
3) Is the pen mightier than the tablet AKA 3D vs Tradtional vs Digital vs Photos
To be honest, I hate 3D stuff. They look like dolls. All stiff and waxy (that's what she said). That first picture pretty much epitomises what I mean. Let's not even talk about the composition, I can't bear to do it. But aside from that, I'm happy with any of the other mediums. What does bug me though is when the art is used straight up. No designing, no photoshopping, just chuck on some fonts and voila. Aka the second pic. Just cos it's a piece of art doesn't mean you shouldn't put in the same effort as you would for a photoshopped cover. Of course, the other issue is using questionable art. I don't care if an author's wowed me before with her/his amazing writing, I am still not buying a book that has a half-wolf half-man thing on the cover (has anyone read it out of curiosity?).
4) Let's talk black and white
Going back to my point about Harlequin covers, it seems to me that a lot of original slash covers have men either doing things (often to each other) or posing (with each other). So very rarely are they themetic (no, having a wolf in the background of a cover for a werewolf story does not count -_-). I mean, the abov pic, posing AND doing (each other), how awesome is that? /sarcasm Look, is it too much to ask for that I get a cover I'm not going to be forced to commit hara kiri if my mother sees?
In that sense, I really like LT3's approach to covers. Quite often the picture is something relating to the ACTUAL plot and not just making it blatantly obvious that yes, this book is about two men, getting it on, in various nasty, naughty ways. The only issues I have with LT3's covers are that they often look like stock photos + text with little editing, or too much photoshopping which distorts the covers. But this one and this one are quite nice.
Which isn't to say avoid people in the cover completely. Just...do it sparingly? Look two dudes, but also, look, cogwheels. And that blue is so damn pretty.
tl;dr
So there it is guys. My looooooong rant on covers. If you've reached this part, kudos to you dude. To sum it all up, I think a good cover is about attracting readers. The first thing I see when I browse is the cover, and no matter how good a summary it is, my eyes WILL keep sliding back to that cover and my brain WILL think, "Really, dude? You want that?"
So let's step up the game. Bring on the funky designs and awesome photoshops. Let's move away from Harlequin-esque covers and the pictures of half-naked men. Let's pay attention to every single part of the cover (not just the picture). Let's be adventurous and let's start being able to read gay porn on the bus without people giving you the side-eye for the questionable cover. Let's be able to have your parents browse your bookshelf and not have to hide your head in shame when they come across men who are naked but for the strategically placed sheet (speaking from personal experience here). Let's get taste all up in our business, so to speak.