mio dio

[zeffira]

oh my god
change like a tidal wave just sweeping me along...
sometimes i'm surfing^, sometimes getting the sandy beat down, mouth all full of salt water
tears...
so
i just let go
of him
and oh how i oscillate
between knowing and between fear
in the right moments i feel i'm right
that its the only way
that i'm not gonna lose
if i remove the game
and how the most important thing
is growing, and becoming
who i am
how i'd forgotten
just wrapped my life all around his
and held on...
how i just chose enni
and enni chose the rest
until
i slowly met edin.

ohh edin?
edin
who
is edin
asking
who am
i
he just... showed me me again
and i'm still reeling
but oh
heart hurts
for enni enni enni
with whom i've shared a bed so long and everything in between
the morning and the evening
even so
encapsulated by the beauty but not believing in it truly
or not quite true enough
to speak the truth enough
so that it swelled up in that warm home place like the bread i've been baking
till i was all full of hot air
and the storm came through ...hot words
and now
breaking up is hard to do
especially when i still love him
but am really truly learning
the meaning of this 'love him let him go' phrase
love me let me go too
and just how young i am
when i felt so middle aged, sometimes ready to die rather than face change
life
is big
and beautiful
painful
open
heartful
somewhow just not so fearful
as its been
i feel
the wind...