The Story of the Evil Testing Serpent

[zeewaywho]

In the beginning, there was no SAT. Students frolicked in their high school paradise without knowledge of evil. But then the Evil Testing Serpent (ETS) silently slithered into the high school through the hot-lunch loading dock. The ETS was the most nefarious, loathsome, malevolent, malicious, odious, insidious, cunning, beguiling, deceitful serpent that ever existed. (It was because of this serpent that high school students have had to learn vocabulary words like the ones in the previous sentence.) The ETS, an unfathomably long, mighthy, mucus-encrusted beastie, was determined to bring evil and pain into the paradise. So it devised a plan that would put an end to the happiness of high school students. This is how the Serpent's plan was to work. For three hours, students would have to answer an incessant string of multiple-choice questions. The questions would be both boring and tricky. Students who gave too many wrong answers would have miserable futures and then die. He called this hideous ordeal the Slimy and Atrocious Torture (SAT). The ETS inflicted the SAT on the oppressed masses of students for many years, and the Serpent's power increased as it drained their meager life forces. Gradually, all resistance was crushed and the tormented youths became accustomed to taking the SAT. Parents and teachers began to view the SAT as a national institution. Long, bleak years of misery appreared to lie ahead for civilization...(Berger, Colton, Mistry, Rossi)
this MUST be how the SAT really came about! it's brilliant!