Moving on
So as of two days ago I finished re-watching all the seasons of NCIS. I wanted to remember everything that had happened so when the new episodes come on I'll be prepared to know what had happened. Also I wanted to start writing fan fiction on the show, but I wanted to get better aquanted with the characters so it would be easier for me to write them. But now I've finished watching the episodes and still have plenty of time before the new season premieres. I started watching Criminal Minds Episodes but at this rate I'll probally be done in a week or two. Anyone have any suggestions for shows I should watch? I gotta keep busy until school starts in the fall and the fall line up starts again. I also wanted to try making some icons so let me know what you think of my first two icons ever.
Tiva
I never really watched Criminal Minds before. But it seems to be an interesting show. I think maybe after I get a better feel for the characters I'll try my hand at writing fanfiction for that fandom. Who knows, maybe I'll come up with something good.
Title: My Fault Part 1/?
Author: zeevah89
Fandom: NCIS
Disclaimer: I did not create nor do I own the characters of NCIS.
Summary: Tony can't get over how things were left with Ziva.
Pairs: Ziva/Tony
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo no longer felt like he was that very special agent he had commonly introduced himself as. He knew for a fact that he was not special as he stared down at a picture he held in his trembling hand of himself and his partner Ziva David. How could he be special if he had not been able to prevent Ziva from staying behind in Israel? He knew it was his fault that she had stayed behind. Everything he had done when he had thought he was protecting her was only fueling the fire for Ziva to believe that he could not be trusted. He had killed Michael, the man that Ziva had loved, because he had thought it had been the right thing to do. But now he was no longer so certain. So many scenarios of how that night could have gone played through his mind. After Abby had told him that the computer that the terrorist had used had been online at Ziva’s apartment he had wanted to protect her. He had wanted to get the answers out of her before anyone else had found out about the link. Except when he had gone to her apartment it had been Michael that came to the door and not Ziva. It was then he assumed that it had been Michael that was connected with the terrorist cell and not Ziva. The fight had been an accident. He had not wanted to fight the man, but if it meant protecting Ziva he would have had that fight all over again. Though he wished he could have ended it differently. He replayed the fight in his mind many times since it had happened and now he realized he should have shot Michael in the leg or in the arm. Ziva had been right when she had said there had been another way to take down Michael safely.
Tony would have given anything to get another chance to apologize. But instead he had wasted all those opportunities he had been given in not only America, but in Israel as well. She had him pinned to the ground with a gun jammed against his chest. He could have said something then. He could have said something anytime they were there. But now he had let his pride get in the way of his feelings. If it were not for him she would have come back with them to the States. She would not have left NCIS. If she had been able to trust Tony she would not have stayed. Gibbs told Tony it was not his fault, but Tony knew it was. He had heard the request that she had made to Gibbs before they were all on the carrier. She had made him choose between her and him. Tony wished Gibbs would have chosen her. At least then, even though he was at a different unit, he would know she was alright. But now it was unclear whether she was safe or not. She had disappeared two days ago after going on an undercover operation for her father. Tony had figured it was the same undercover operation that Michael had been on. He would not have even known about her disappearance if it had not been for over hearing Gibbs and Abby talking about it.
Tony placed the photograph on his desk. He had come into work an hour early just so he could stare into space and think about his old partner. He looked up from his cluttered desk and across to the desk Ziva had sat. It seemed like yesterday that she was sitting across from him and he had been teasingly throwing paper balls at her. It had annoyed her, but that never stopped Ziva from smiling in his direction. Tony could not help but hate himself for screwing everything up. He did not just screw it up for him, but for the team as well. He knew that Vance was going to make Gibbs choose a new team member from a stack of probies because Ziva was gone.
“Tony?” Tony heard McGee say as he passed his desk, “You’re early today.”
Tony looked over at McGee and knew that he was shocked to see Tony in so early. Sure Tony had gotten into work before others before, but he had never beaten McGee or Gibbs into work.
“Just getting an early start,” Tony lied as he faked a grin, “I had a lot of paper work to catch up on.”
McGee looked at him as if he was unsure whether or not Tony was telling the truth, but did not say anything. Sure Tony had not been cleared for active duty yet and hadn’t been into work for almost a week, but he hoped McGee wouldn’t point any of that out. He just nodded and began working on his computer without another glance over. Tony let out a breath of relief that he had not realized he had been holding. Tony glanced once more at Ziva’s old desk. All of her things were still there exactly where she had left them. However, Tony figured it would be minus a few things because he was sure each of the team had taken something off her desk to remember her by. They had done the same thing to him when they thought he had been blown up when his car had been bombed. Tony had not taken anything like the rest of his team. He didn’t think he deserved anything because it had been him that drove her away. The only thing he had left of her was a picture of the two of them that had been taken on Christmas even when they had been forced to work a case. Just then the elevator door opened with the sound of the bell. A part of Tony wished it would have been Ziva that stepped off that elevator and had come in telling everyone it had all been a joke. But when a young women stepped into the squad room he knew his heart had sank a little lower.
“May I help you?” McGee asked the women when Tony had not said anything to the women.
“I’m looking for Special Agent Gibbs,” the women replied.
Tony wondered if this woman had been picked to replace Ziva. He couldn’t help but compare the woman to Ziva. He knew this woman whoever she was could never live up to the expectations that he would set before her. No one, in DiNozzo’s mind, could replace Ziva. Maybe it was a good thing he was not the team leader. He probably would have left the spot vacant for as long as he could hoping that Ziva would come back to them.
“Gibbs isn’t in yet,” McGee told her as he got up from his desk and walked over t over to her, “Is there something I could help you with? I’m Special Agent Timothy McGee.”
“Director Vance told me to report to him at 0800 hours,” The women replied, “I’m Special Agent Emma Jenkins.”
“Well I’m sure Gibbs will be in soon,” McGee told her, “Just take a seat while you wait.”
Emma made a move to go sit at Ziva’s old desk and for a split second Tony did not know what to do. It was a free desk after all, but to him that would always be Ziva’s desk.
“Not there,” Tony snapped finally speaking to the new girl.
Emma glanced at him before she moved to sit at an empty desk across from McGee. Tony ignored both her stares and McGee’s stares after his outburst about Ziva’s desk. He knew he needed to get out of there and away from their questioning eyes. Without warning he pushed the picture of him and Ziva into his pocket got up and practically ran over to the elevator. He didn’t realize where he was walking until he had ended up in Abby’s lab. The door was open but he didn’t see Abby anywhere. He went inside and took Bert off her desk. He lay down in front of the fridge that held the evidence that could had to be refrigerated. It was a spot he had commonly found himself laying after a long case when he wanted to hide from Gibbs. It had only worked some of the time. He took the picture out of his pocket and continued staring at it.
“Tony?” Abby’s voice came from above him.
Tony looked up and knew that Abby was concerned for him. Ever since Ziva had been left behind in Israel she had been visiting Tony more at his apartment to make sure he ate or wasn’t lonely.
“I really miss her Abs,” Tony told her.
Abby kneeled down beside Tony and pulled him into a hug. She didn’t know what to do for the struggling man before her. She knew the only thing that would cure him was finding Ziva and bringing her home. But she knew that would not be able to do that for him. So instead she just held him in her arms hoping to take some of the pain away.
“There’s someone upstairs waiting to take her place,” Tony told her, “I don’t think I’ll be able to handle seeing that woman sitting at Ziva’s desk.”
“Then I’ll make sure she never sits there,” Abby told him as she pulled Tony to his feet, “Gibbs can’t say no to me.”
Tony nodded and wordlessly followed Abby as she dragged him back to the squad room. Before the elevator opened onto the squad room floor he turned to Abby.
“Thanks Abs,” Tony told her.
“Anytime Tony,” Abby replied with a smile.
When they got back to the squad room Gibbs was already there talking with Emily. While Tony took his seat at his desk Abby marched right up to Gibbs.
“If you give up Ziva’s desk I’ll never speak to you again,” Abby told him.
Gibbs didn’t seem to be shocked by Abby’s outburst. Tony started at his expression and it seem like he had been waiting for someone to say something about Ziva’s desk. Tony watched as Gibbs glanced over at Ziva’s desk out of the corner of his eye.
“Don’t worry Abs,” Gibbs told her, “No one is taking Ziva’s desk.”
Tony sighed with relief. After Abby thanked Gibbs she headed back to her lab. Before she left Abby sent a smile towards Tony and he returned it. It was the first semi genuine smile that had graced his lips since Ziva had left and Abby knew it. Out of the corner of Tony’s eye he caught Gibbs looking at him knowingly. Tony could only hope that he wouldn’t bring it up.
A/N: More parts to come. Let me know what you think
Tiva
I never really watched Criminal Minds before. But it seems to be an interesting show. I think maybe after I get a better feel for the characters I'll try my hand at writing fanfiction for that fandom. Who knows, maybe I'll come up with something good.
Title: My Fault Part 1/?
Author: zeevah89
Fandom: NCIS
Disclaimer: I did not create nor do I own the characters of NCIS.
Summary: Tony can't get over how things were left with Ziva.
Pairs: Ziva/Tony
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo no longer felt like he was that very special agent he had commonly introduced himself as. He knew for a fact that he was not special as he stared down at a picture he held in his trembling hand of himself and his partner Ziva David. How could he be special if he had not been able to prevent Ziva from staying behind in Israel? He knew it was his fault that she had stayed behind. Everything he had done when he had thought he was protecting her was only fueling the fire for Ziva to believe that he could not be trusted. He had killed Michael, the man that Ziva had loved, because he had thought it had been the right thing to do. But now he was no longer so certain. So many scenarios of how that night could have gone played through his mind. After Abby had told him that the computer that the terrorist had used had been online at Ziva’s apartment he had wanted to protect her. He had wanted to get the answers out of her before anyone else had found out about the link. Except when he had gone to her apartment it had been Michael that came to the door and not Ziva. It was then he assumed that it had been Michael that was connected with the terrorist cell and not Ziva. The fight had been an accident. He had not wanted to fight the man, but if it meant protecting Ziva he would have had that fight all over again. Though he wished he could have ended it differently. He replayed the fight in his mind many times since it had happened and now he realized he should have shot Michael in the leg or in the arm. Ziva had been right when she had said there had been another way to take down Michael safely.
Tony would have given anything to get another chance to apologize. But instead he had wasted all those opportunities he had been given in not only America, but in Israel as well. She had him pinned to the ground with a gun jammed against his chest. He could have said something then. He could have said something anytime they were there. But now he had let his pride get in the way of his feelings. If it were not for him she would have come back with them to the States. She would not have left NCIS. If she had been able to trust Tony she would not have stayed. Gibbs told Tony it was not his fault, but Tony knew it was. He had heard the request that she had made to Gibbs before they were all on the carrier. She had made him choose between her and him. Tony wished Gibbs would have chosen her. At least then, even though he was at a different unit, he would know she was alright. But now it was unclear whether she was safe or not. She had disappeared two days ago after going on an undercover operation for her father. Tony had figured it was the same undercover operation that Michael had been on. He would not have even known about her disappearance if it had not been for over hearing Gibbs and Abby talking about it.
Tony placed the photograph on his desk. He had come into work an hour early just so he could stare into space and think about his old partner. He looked up from his cluttered desk and across to the desk Ziva had sat. It seemed like yesterday that she was sitting across from him and he had been teasingly throwing paper balls at her. It had annoyed her, but that never stopped Ziva from smiling in his direction. Tony could not help but hate himself for screwing everything up. He did not just screw it up for him, but for the team as well. He knew that Vance was going to make Gibbs choose a new team member from a stack of probies because Ziva was gone.
“Tony?” Tony heard McGee say as he passed his desk, “You’re early today.”
Tony looked over at McGee and knew that he was shocked to see Tony in so early. Sure Tony had gotten into work before others before, but he had never beaten McGee or Gibbs into work.
“Just getting an early start,” Tony lied as he faked a grin, “I had a lot of paper work to catch up on.”
McGee looked at him as if he was unsure whether or not Tony was telling the truth, but did not say anything. Sure Tony had not been cleared for active duty yet and hadn’t been into work for almost a week, but he hoped McGee wouldn’t point any of that out. He just nodded and began working on his computer without another glance over. Tony let out a breath of relief that he had not realized he had been holding. Tony glanced once more at Ziva’s old desk. All of her things were still there exactly where she had left them. However, Tony figured it would be minus a few things because he was sure each of the team had taken something off her desk to remember her by. They had done the same thing to him when they thought he had been blown up when his car had been bombed. Tony had not taken anything like the rest of his team. He didn’t think he deserved anything because it had been him that drove her away. The only thing he had left of her was a picture of the two of them that had been taken on Christmas even when they had been forced to work a case. Just then the elevator door opened with the sound of the bell. A part of Tony wished it would have been Ziva that stepped off that elevator and had come in telling everyone it had all been a joke. But when a young women stepped into the squad room he knew his heart had sank a little lower.
“May I help you?” McGee asked the women when Tony had not said anything to the women.
“I’m looking for Special Agent Gibbs,” the women replied.
Tony wondered if this woman had been picked to replace Ziva. He couldn’t help but compare the woman to Ziva. He knew this woman whoever she was could never live up to the expectations that he would set before her. No one, in DiNozzo’s mind, could replace Ziva. Maybe it was a good thing he was not the team leader. He probably would have left the spot vacant for as long as he could hoping that Ziva would come back to them.
“Gibbs isn’t in yet,” McGee told her as he got up from his desk and walked over t over to her, “Is there something I could help you with? I’m Special Agent Timothy McGee.”
“Director Vance told me to report to him at 0800 hours,” The women replied, “I’m Special Agent Emma Jenkins.”
“Well I’m sure Gibbs will be in soon,” McGee told her, “Just take a seat while you wait.”
Emma made a move to go sit at Ziva’s old desk and for a split second Tony did not know what to do. It was a free desk after all, but to him that would always be Ziva’s desk.
“Not there,” Tony snapped finally speaking to the new girl.
Emma glanced at him before she moved to sit at an empty desk across from McGee. Tony ignored both her stares and McGee’s stares after his outburst about Ziva’s desk. He knew he needed to get out of there and away from their questioning eyes. Without warning he pushed the picture of him and Ziva into his pocket got up and practically ran over to the elevator. He didn’t realize where he was walking until he had ended up in Abby’s lab. The door was open but he didn’t see Abby anywhere. He went inside and took Bert off her desk. He lay down in front of the fridge that held the evidence that could had to be refrigerated. It was a spot he had commonly found himself laying after a long case when he wanted to hide from Gibbs. It had only worked some of the time. He took the picture out of his pocket and continued staring at it.
“Tony?” Abby’s voice came from above him.
Tony looked up and knew that Abby was concerned for him. Ever since Ziva had been left behind in Israel she had been visiting Tony more at his apartment to make sure he ate or wasn’t lonely.
“I really miss her Abs,” Tony told her.
Abby kneeled down beside Tony and pulled him into a hug. She didn’t know what to do for the struggling man before her. She knew the only thing that would cure him was finding Ziva and bringing her home. But she knew that would not be able to do that for him. So instead she just held him in her arms hoping to take some of the pain away.
“There’s someone upstairs waiting to take her place,” Tony told her, “I don’t think I’ll be able to handle seeing that woman sitting at Ziva’s desk.”
“Then I’ll make sure she never sits there,” Abby told him as she pulled Tony to his feet, “Gibbs can’t say no to me.”
Tony nodded and wordlessly followed Abby as she dragged him back to the squad room. Before the elevator opened onto the squad room floor he turned to Abby.
“Thanks Abs,” Tony told her.
“Anytime Tony,” Abby replied with a smile.
When they got back to the squad room Gibbs was already there talking with Emily. While Tony took his seat at his desk Abby marched right up to Gibbs.
“If you give up Ziva’s desk I’ll never speak to you again,” Abby told him.
Gibbs didn’t seem to be shocked by Abby’s outburst. Tony started at his expression and it seem like he had been waiting for someone to say something about Ziva’s desk. Tony watched as Gibbs glanced over at Ziva’s desk out of the corner of his eye.
“Don’t worry Abs,” Gibbs told her, “No one is taking Ziva’s desk.”
Tony sighed with relief. After Abby thanked Gibbs she headed back to her lab. Before she left Abby sent a smile towards Tony and he returned it. It was the first semi genuine smile that had graced his lips since Ziva had left and Abby knew it. Out of the corner of Tony’s eye he caught Gibbs looking at him knowingly. Tony could only hope that he wouldn’t bring it up.
A/N: More parts to come. Let me know what you think