Fic: Five Times Kurt Hummel Fell For Someone, And One Time They Fell For Him Too Post II
Part I
5) Daniel Harlee
Kurt first sees him in the check-in line for regionals. He's wearing a dark woolen overcoat that he instantly recognizes from last year's Hugo Boss collection, and his thick-framed glasses had to be Dolce & Gabbana or at least some really good knock-offs. His hair is dyed black and hangs in his eyes, but not in a tasteless, scenester way. He's also wearing bright red skinny pants, which is not a look many people can pull off, but it really suits him.
He's very, very cute. Kurt's staring, which he only realizes when the boy looks his way. Kurt freezes in place, blushing furiously, and wonders if it would be too conspicuous to try and duck down behind Mike Chang. But the boy just looks at his own designer coat and boots and then smiles at him. A kindred spirit.
There's a reception after dinner for everyone participating. It's supposed to be a social event, but the only real mingling being done is a large group of girls fawning over one of the guys from Vocal Adrenaline, who has curly brown hair and a smile that lights up the room and, so rumor says, the voice of an angel. A really attractive angel. Kurt stands off to the side with Tina and Artie and Mercedes and pretends to watch in awe as Rachel fights to the front of the pack surrounding this Show Choir God. But really, he's scanning the crowd for bright red pants.
Someone taps him on the shoulder. He turns to meet stunningly light blue eyes behind what are definitely D&G glasses. The boy's grinning like he just won the lottery. He looks Kurt over once more before saying, "I may have to kill you for your boots."
Kurt's stomach is doing some serious hairography, but he's learned to keep his cool in situations like this. He puts on his best smirk. "And I would have killed you for your coat. Last year." His friends all 'oooh' mockingly, with Artie throwing in a quiet "Burn!" but the boy just laughs and Kurt thinks he just might throw up.
His name is Daniel Harlee, and he's part of Vocal Adrenaline. He's not the best singer, but he's good enough for the harmonies. Mainly, he's there to dance. "None of the crazy, acrobatic stuff," he says dismissively when Kurt presses. "That's all flash and no heart. But the crowd eats it up, so the guy who's had classical training since he was four gets shoved to the back to do lifts and carries. Not that I'm bitter, or anything." Someone's found the sound system and an impromptu dance had started at one end of the hall, but Daniel refuses to show him some of his moves. "Can't go revealing our secret weapon just yet," he says with a wink. "Not even for you."
They sit at a table on their own and talk for hours. They talk about their clubs, though dodging around their song choices gets a little tiring. Fashion, surprisingly, doesn't take a lot of their time. Daniel doesn't care so much about brands or names, but he fakes it for a long time while Kurt gushes all over him. His philosophy is 'if it looks good, buy it,' regardless of price, which is why he spent the full $400 for his glasses. Kurt promises to teach him how to shop, if he wants. The invitation's barely out of his mouth when it's accepted, and Kurt realizes that maybe he's not the only one who's a little nervous right now.
It's Kurt's turn to fake it when they talk about music. He's never heard of any of the bands Daniel likes, but he's so passionate about them and their 'art' that Kurt just kind of nods and makes nonsensical affirmations when appropriate. Kurt half-lies and says he only really listens to musical theater, but cops to Lady GaGa, because he thinks she might have some lingering hipster cred in her success. It's all ruined when Mike comes up and asks him to lead the other football guys in a Single Ladies Off against some of the girls from Our Sister of Divine Mercy. They absolutely school those Catholic school sluts, despite automatically going into formation at the end. Kurt basks in the glory for as long as he can because he dreads going back to his table to get laughed at. But Daniel applauds him and compliments his form and demands to hear about how hard it is to choreograph a football team.
The surprise of the night is how intense they both are about their skin care. Kurt goes through a step by step replay of his morning, afternoon, and before-bed rituals, down to number of sprays and how long he lets his cleanser set, and Daniel eats it up. Kurt's never seen anybody so passionate about peppermint-oil nightly facial masks. "I'm minty fresh all day," he gushes. "Seriously. Smell my face."
It's a little weird, but Kurt does it. He does smell like mint. But Kurt doesn't really care, because Daniel's turned his face that extra inch and he's kissing him softly. It only lasts a few seconds, but it's sweet and Daniel's lips are soft and warm and it's everything Kurt's ever dreamed of in a first kiss.
The boy backs up, clearly nervous that he's made a mistake or crossed some kind of line. So Kurt kisses him again, putting a hand on Daniel's thigh just in case the message isn't clear enough. The other boy laughs into his mouth but backs away again. He stands and grabs Kurt's hand. "Come on," he says as he drags him towards the back of the room. "Let's not do this in front of half of Western Ohio."
There's a small hallway in the back of the room, leading to some bathrooms and the hotel's kitchen. It's dark and out of the way, and no one would notice them if they weren't looking too hard. Daniel pushes Kurt against a wall and presses their bodies together and kisses him breathless. He's a few inches taller than Kurt and his arms are toned from years of lifting dancers. But he's not bulky or awkward or any of the other things he's unusually worried about. He's perfect.
Kurt's been in this position countless times in his mind: with Finn, with Lucas, with Jake Gyllenhaal. But it was real this time, and not at all like what he imagined. It's so much better. When Daniel presses his tongue against his lips, Kurt is only too happy to let them part, let the other boy explore his mouth with a kind of unhurried enthusiasm that drives him crazy. Kurt doesn't know what on earth to do with his hands, so he just throws them around Daniel's body and holds him tight. When the other boy reaches around and grabs his butt, pulling them closer, Kurt starts to giggle. God help him. He wants to die. But Daniel just stands back a little and laughs - with him, not at him - and kisses along his neck a few times before pulling him close again.
Kurt is starting to get overwhelmed. He can feel the blood rushing through his body, settling between his legs. He'd be embarrassed if he couldn't feel the same thing happening to the other boy. He knows he should take this slow. They should go on that shopping date together. Kurt should show him those small little boutiques where they know him by name and are lenient with their payment plans. And then he should let Daniel show him some 'real music', where he'll tell his dad that he's staying with Mercedes and they'll sneak off to the city. They'll sneak a few swallows of wine before entering whatever club, and they'll hang around afterwards to find out where they can party with the band. They'll get back to Lima at four in the morning smelling like cigarettes and cheap beer and they'll kiss as the sun comes up. A few dates like that, and then they would start navigating the strange waters of teenage sex, because they are both gentlemen and respect each other a great deal.
Only Kurt is sixteen and horny and has a hotel room key card resting uncomfortably between his ass and Daniel's hands. So when they split apart for a second to try and catch their breath, Kurt can't stop from blurting out, "Want to come up to my room?"
Daniel looks down at him, clearly surprised. And then, for a split second, he looks to the side. It could have been anything - a chill, a muscle twinge, an unconscious movement as he thinks things over. But Kurt had noticed it, even through the haze of lust and future plans that clouded his mind. So even though Daniel says yes, and bends to kiss him one more time before they ditch this party, Kurt doesn't let himself get lost in him again. He cracks his eyes open and tries to follow where the other boy had looked.
Two people are sitting at the table closest to them. Rachel Berry is talking rapidly at the brown-haired Glee God, obviously thrilled to have him to herself. But he is looking over her shoulder, into the darkened hallway that leads to the bathrooms and kitchen. His face is carefully blank, as if he's just staring into space. But when he notices Kurt looking back at him, his posture suddenly tenses and he turns back to Rachel with a forced smile and a too-loud laugh.
Daniel grabs his hand, linking their fingers together as they walk toward the hall's exit. He's giggling himself now. Kurt squeezes his hand and shoots him a wicked grin, walking a little faster, pulling him along. Making a production of it. Making sure they're seen. When they reach the door, he pulls him close and kisses him again, short and sweet with a hint of something more.
He stops short as soon as they're out of sight of the reception hall. Daniel keeps walking, tugging at his arm impatiently. When he doesn't budge, the boy turns to him, confused. "We're going upstairs, right?"
"Do you have a chance with him?"
Daniel's face goes blank. "Do I what?"
"That guy back there. The one you wanted to see us."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Daniel steps closer to Kurt, cupping his face in his hands. He smiles down at him sweetly, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.
"I just want to know. Is he the straight boy who you will keep trying to seduce even though you know he'll never give you what you want? Or is he the "straight" boy who arranged for you to room together so you can fool around but barely speaks to you in public?"
Daniel's gaze drops to the floor, and his face colors. Bingo.
It takes a long time for the boy to look up again, though he still can't meet Kurt's eyes. "He's my boyfriend."
"Of course he is," Kurt sighs. He walks past him, towards the elevators. He suddenly has a headache and very much wants to lie down.
"No, he's... He's not anymore. Because of what you said." He grabs Kurt's shoulder, trying to get him to slow down so he won't have to yell all this across the lobby. "He's fine with fooling around, and everyone in the club knows because he can't really keep his hands to himself, but... He's not out. He'll never be out. And I'm sick of having to hide under the bed when his parents get home and arriving at the movies separately and... All of it. So it's over. And I really like you, Chris."
Red flashes before his eyes, but he manages to keep himself from screaming. "It's Kurt."
Daniel's face flushes. His hands drop back to his sides. "Shit," he mumbles. Then he sits on the floor, in the middle of a hotel lobby, and buries his head in his hands. Kurt has no idea what to do. Nobody’s around, but a few staff members were starting to look at them funny and Kurt doesn't want to have to clean up after the public nervous breakdown of a boy he barely knows. He grabs Daniel by the upper arm and drags him back to his feet. He hustles him over to the elevators and frantically pushes the button until one arrives. Once they're safely inside, he keeps his thumb on the door-close button. They need to be alone for a few minutes.
"You really love him, don't you?"
Daniel resumes sitting on the floor of the elevator. His face goes completely red and he’s taken off his glasses, but he hasn’t started to cry. Yet. He can barely speak, so he just nods.
Kurt sighs and kneels in front of the boy. "Well he certainly saw us leave together, so he's going to be jealous." This just seems to distress Daniel more. He bangs his head back against the metal walls and swears. Kurt reaches out and grabs one of his hands, trying to catch his attention again. "No. No, that's good. Because the next time he sees you, he'll have realized just how much he cares about you. And when you tell him that nothing happened because I wasn't him and you couldn't let yourself do something you know you'd just regret, he'll... You'll get your happy ending." He pauses for a second, letting that sink in. Then he smirks. "Or you can tell him that we screwed like bunnies all over your hotel room and he will be tortured by that image for an eternity."
Daniel actually manages to laugh. He sniffs and wipes at his eyes, though his tears had not managed to escape him. "I could definitely live with that," he says, climbing to his feet. He hesitates, then pulls Kurt into a hug. "Thank you," he whispers into his ear.
Kurt closes his eyes and slowly winds his arms around the other boy. Still frames of shopping trips and concerts that would never be flash through his mind. He shakes it off. He's being stupid. Again. The slightest bit of attention from another cute guy and he practically plans their wedding. He needs to stop doing this.
He needs to get laid.
They break the hug, but stay standing close. Daniel leans in, but looks into Kurt's eyes, searching for permission. And Kurt gives in and lets him kiss him again, because he doesn't know how long he's going to have to wait for the next guy to come around. This kiss is different, chaste, an apology and a thank you, though it was still very sweet. And for a few seconds, Kurt lets himself imagine that the night is going in a whole different direction, one where he won't have to answer really awkward questions tomorrow about where the kid he had snuck off with had gone.
The door to the elevator opens. Mr. Schuester stands there, having returned from whatever bar the chorus directors had gone to. He looks between the two boys, smiles awkwardly at Kurt, and says, "Guess I'll wait for the next one."
"No, you go ahead," Daniel says as he steps back into the lobby. He turns back, hands in the pockets of his red pants. "I'm going to take a walk. I... Thank you. Really. Kurt." He smiles, then walks back toward the entrance.
Mr. Schue gets on and waits for the doors to close before he tries to speak. "I don't want to talk about it," Kurt quickly cuts him off before he's even done inhaling. The next 20 seconds are the most awkward of his life, and he practically sprints to his room once they reach their floor.
He pretends to be asleep when Artie and Finn get back an hour later. He wakes up early and drags Brittany to the breakfast buffet, because she probably has no idea something had even happened that night. He's unusually quiet when they all regroup to prepare for their performance. He can't wait to get home so he can affectively disappear for a few days.
The next day, when Vocal Adrenaline are announced Regional Champions, New Directions accept their defeat gracefully and watch the other school jump and scream and celebrate their way up to the stage. They all see when the Glee God - who had lived up to his reputation and then some during their performance - pulls Daniel to him for a quick kiss before accepting the trophy. Rachel squeaks a little. Kurt knows that everyone else is probably wondering what he's thinking, if he's hurt, if he'll be okay.
What he's thinking is, they must have worked something out. They both look really happy, and not just because they've won for the hundredth time in a row. And they made a really cute couple.
Kurt hates them. So much.
6) Finn Hudson
Looking back at how strongly Kurt insisted that he was in love, he can't stop laughing at himself. It was undeniably a crush, semi-adult infatuation he had blown out of proportion. There was no shame in that. It didn't change the fact that all it took was a pretty face and a kind word to turn his brain to mush and get him out of his pants, should the opportunity arise.
No, Kurt realizes now that he was never really in love with Finn. Not the real Finn, anyway. He had been in love with the guy he had created in his head, based solely on the fact that he was the only football player that didn't actively try to beat him up. Finn In His Head was kind and compassionate. He was a little too conscious of his social status and let that guide his decisions sometimes, but he had some basic principles that he stuck by no matter what the situation. He wasn't the brightest kid at McKinley, but he made up for it in heart. And when he really cared about something, he would go down fighting for it.
Of course, having actually gotten to know the real Finn, actual true-to-God Finn Hudson, Finn In His Head wasn't exactly the truth. He was what Finn wanted other people to think of him as, and he really was like that at times, but that Finn had no depth. He was boring. He lacked a lot of what made Real Finn... Finn. Real Finn craves acceptance, because being popular was something he was good at, something he couldn't disappoint anyone with. Real Finn is hyper self-aware, and thinks he's too tall and too awkward and hates having to dance in front of anyone if he hasn't learned the steps yet. Real Finn suffers from crippling self-doubt but has learned to hide it a long time ago. Because Real Finn needs people to think he's perfect, because if he's perfect, everyone will be happy, and then he can be happy too. Only Real Finn is starting to carry a whole lot of resentment around with him, because suddenly 'perfect' is too different for too many people, but being himself is just too hard some days.
Real Finn isn't really book smart, but he's surprisingly intuitive when it comes to others emotions, though he never fully grasps the 'whys' of people's moods. Because of this, he can be a manipulative bastard when he wants to be, but he mostly uses his powers for good. Real Finn falls in love almost as easily as Kurt does, but he's saving his heart for a little girl that he may never get to see, and that kills him inside. Real Finn wishes he could remember his dad, but honestly wants his mom to start dating again so she'll stop looking so sad all the time. Real Finn is the kind of guy who, when Kurt calls him at four in the morning because he doesn't know what else to do, barely able to speak through his tears because he had dreamt about her again and he just misses her so much some days, will stay on the line and make soothing noises (and even sing a little) until it's a decent enough hour to drive over and take him out to breakfast and compliment how good he manages to look even in sweat pants and no sleep and actually mean it.
Yeah, Finn In His Head was just a crush. A very intense, idealized crush that he is so over now. Because he's met Real Finn. And Real Finn is probably the most amazing person that Kurt's ever met. And Kurt doesn't even pretend to go after him, because he knows Real Finn will not only be unable to return his feelings, he'd be upset that he may have hurt a friend because of it. And Kurt just wants Finn to be happy, with himself, with his friends, with his life.
It's when Kurt decides to let him go, to try and move on, that he knows just how in love he is. Really, genuinely, stars in his eyes, do something beyond stupid in its name love. Which really sucks, because there are a lot of really intense feelings he has to purge from his system. But he's more than willing to try. He'd much rather be Finn's friend than nothing, or worse, someone he can't look in the eye because he knows how much he's disappointed him.
So Kurt sticks by his side through his breakup with Quinn, though it takes Finn a few days to stop being mad at him and acknowledge that it wasn't Kurt's place to say anything about the baby, even though he knew. And he's there for him (literally, standing out of sight down the hall) when Finn tells Quinn that he's still mad at her and he still isn't near ready to forgive her, but he wants her to stay so he won't have to worry about her or her daughter. (And Kurt hears the crack in his voice as he emphasizes her daughter and his heart breaks as he bites his tongue.) Kurt's the one he sits with at lunch, because if he even hears Puck's name he has to either throw something or punch someone in the face.
Kurt's the one who hangs out with him on the weekends and fumbles his way through co-op Halo in exchange for letting him do the occasional facial. Kurt's the one who goes with him to Wendy's after practice to watch him try to break his Three Frosties in Five Minutes record. Kurt's the one who makes him drive to the middle of nowhere and back, blasting music and singing at the top of their lungs. Kurt's the one who tries to puzzle out the rules of basketball with Rachel so they can both understand what they're cheering Finn on for, so that he'll have someone who actually knows him in the stands.
Kurt's the one who bumps his fist when he finally asks Rachel out. Kurt's the one who practically breaks his thumbs texting during their first few dates, trying to explain the Broadway references that go over Finn's head, feed him compliments about Rachel's still-tragic wardrobe, and assure him that getting hibachi with her dads is not some weird gay thing. Kurt's the one who makes the reservation and has his suit laundered and buys the roses so when Finn's one month anniversary plan of go-carts and pizza is a clear disappointment, he has a Plan B.
Kurt's the one who gets the phone call the night Finn loses his virginity ("I mean, I don't want to spread this around. I don't kiss and tell," Finn says, and Kurt can hear him beaming through the phone. "This is just the kind of thing you have to tell someone, you know?") Kurt's the one who congratulates him and listens to the gory details about not making a fool of himself and how Rachel was really happy afterwards, and how grateful he is that Kurt helped him not fuck this up from the beginning. Kurt's the one who gets in the shower immediately afterwards so he can sob without disturbing his father, because no matter how hard you purge, some things still hurt.
Kurt's the one who calls him a complete idiot when, a week later, 'Finnchel' are no more. Finn just kind of shrugs at him, surprisingly nonchalant about the whole thing. "It just wasn't working out, I guess. She's kind of high strung and clingy. And she kind of scares me a little." He smiles down at Kurt. "Sorry, man. I know how much work you put into this. Believe me, it wasn't you, it was me."
Kurt's the one who can smack him upside the head and get away with it.
~*~
Kurt's the one who gets the phone call when he's about to sit down to dinner. Finn's out of breath and stumbling over his words and it takes a long time to realize what the hell he's trying to say. When Kurt figures it out, he's on his feet, grabbing his keys with a hurried apology to his father, and on his way to the hospital.
Finn jumps up from his chair in the waiting room as soon as he arrives. His hands are shaking and he's sweating in unseemly places and he clearly doesn't know what to do now that he's standing. All his nervous energy is starting to make Kurt nervous, which is bad, because he's pretty sure he's supposed to be the sane one in this situation. "How's Quinn?" he finally asks, when it's clear Finn is out of his depths.
"Fine. Or probably not, she was screaming a lot on the way here." He looks down the hall, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. "She doesn't want me in there, which I get, but I just... My mom's with her though. She's gonna be fine."
"They'll both be fine," Kurt assures, taking a seat. He crosses his legs primly and fixes his hair and tries to give off the sense that he knows exactly what is going on and that it is no big deal. His foot is bouncing unusually fast, though. He hopes Finn doesn't notice. "Did you call her parents?" he asks as a distraction.
"Yeah. Her dad hung up on me the first few times. I think her mom thanked me, but it was a really fast conversation." Finn sits across from him, bent over with his arms resting on his knees, wringing his hands only a little. "I don't think they're gonna show up."
"Mmm," Kurt says noncommittally, because the less he hears about the Fabray's, the better. "And Puck?"
Finn just looks at him blankly. He blinks, then turns a little pink. "Yeah. I should probably call him, shouldn't I?"
Kurt sighs. He had expected that all of this drama would be long over by the time the baby was due. He knew for a fact that Quinn and Puck had made some kind of arrangement, where they weren't exactly together but he'd still be in his daughter's life. And, considering how Finn had eventually forgiven his ex-girlfriend, his ex-best friend should naturally have been next in line. And yet here he was, staring at his phone instead of dialing, so completely unwilling to face the guy that he couldn't even tell him that Quinn was in labor. It was so unnecessary and childish. Kurt had a feeling he hadn't helped things, but no one ever said he was Noah Puckerman's Number One Fan. He didn't let that stop him from plucking the phone from his friend's hands and calling the punk himself.
When Puck does arrive, he isn't the stammering, nervous mess that Finn had turned into. His anger is rolling off him in waves, and the rest of the people in the tiny waiting area watch him wearily as he storms over to the boys. Finn had been pacing for the better part of the hour, and is more than prepared for the violent shove he's greeted with.
"What the fuck, Hudson?" Puck spits, shoving him again. "The baby - my daughter is coming and you don't even call me?"
"Funny," Finn says as he shoves back, "Quinn didn't say anything about making sure you were here. I just figured she didn't want you. Like always."
"Oh, but your little fucking boyfriend deserves to be here, right? He gonna hold your hand while you squeeze something out of your giant vagina?"
"At least you're not gonna get him pregnant."
This is getting ridiculous. "Boys," Kurt snaps, and stands himself. "As wonderfully entertaining I'm sure everyone else in this room finds your screaming, will you two just shut the fuck up for a second?" This gets the boys' attention. Kurt never swears. He looks between the two, pleased at their reaction, before continuing.
"The girl you both at some point loved is down that hallway having a baby. So before that happens, all this nonsense is going to be taken care of, understand?" The two, after a lot of hesitation and looking around the room, nod. "You," he says, pointing at Puck, "knocked up your best friend's girlfriend, which is so incredibly stupid there are no words. But you're aware of that, correct?" Another reluctant nod, though Puck looks like he is very close to punching something. Kurt hurriedly turns to Finn. "And you, well, you've already forgiven Quinn, whom one would think you'd be even more angry at. Now you're just holding a grudge for the sake of it." Kurt crosses his arms and looks between them. "Quinn's already made it very clear she doesn’t want either of you acting as the babydaddy, so there's no argument there. Just apologize to each other already, and get. Over. It."
There's a lot of grumbling and eye rolling and generally making faces. It's a few minutes before Puck finally says to his feet, "I am sorry, dude. It's just, you know I... It's her."
"I know, man. Same for me."
They shake hands. There's scattered applause from the other people around, and Kurt has to wonder what they must think is going on.
It's far from comfortable. They're not about to rip each other's heads off, but they're not really talking either. Six months is a lot of anger to just suddenly let go of. But they're being civil to each other, which is all Kurt can really hope for at this point. Puck's joined Finn in pacing the room, and they both jump at every little noise, ready to run and harass every doctor or orderly that enters the room. An older woman sighs and tells them for the eighth time that no, there's been no change with Ms. Fabray, and that labor can last a very long time, and Kurt decides to go get some coffee. Part of him hopes they'll kill each other in his absence, so he can wait for the baby in peace. It's really not a lot to hope for. When he gets back, they're both sitting calmly, side-by-side, and ogling a young, attractive woman now sitting at nurses' station. Kurt will never understand how a straight boy's mind works, and sometimes, he's really grateful for that.
At 4:06 AM, Marie Joanna Fabray enters the world. Mrs. Hudson quietly ushers the boys into the room, but the sight of mother and child stops them all in the doorway. Quinn looks absolutely exhausted. Her hair is limp, her skin is clammy from hours of pained sweating, and she can barely keep her eyes open. But they way she's looking down at her daughter, so full of relief and love, and the way the baby is looking up at her in complete wonder is breathtaking. When Quinn looks up and smiles at them, Kurt's pretty sure there are tears in everyone's eyes. His own included.
They all gather around the bed, barely breathing for fear of disturbing the little girl. She's the spitting image of her mother, though what little hair she has is dark. They all coo their hellos, and she looks at each of them with wide green eyes and they all fall in love instantly.
"Do you want to hold her?" Quinn offers to no one in particular. Finn reaches out, but stops himself. He looks back at Puck. The boy looks between his daughter and her mother and his friend. Finally, he nods his approval and steps back.
Finn gently takes the baby in his arms, his mother coaching him to be careful of her head, and don't drop her if she starts to move too much. Finn looks even more ridiculously huge with a newborn in his arms, and no one's ever seen him smile the way he is right now again. He's a completely different person, the one Quinn never thought he could be, the one he's been hoping to be for a long time.
"Hi there. Hi, Marie," he whispers to her over and over, using the high-pitched voice reserved for babies and small animals. Puck comes up to stand beside him, and starts to stroke his daughter's pudgy little arm. Finn's mom looks like she's about to burst from pride. Quinn just looks like she's about to burst into happy tears and then fall asleep. Kurt feels incredibly out of place within this screwed up little family, so backs off to the other side of the bed. There's a hairbrush on the nightstand, and he picks it up and starts in on Quinn's hair. She's surprised at first, but lets him do what he wants, first smoothing out all the tangles, then trying to tease a little life back into the damp locks.
"Hey there, MJ," Puck says as he finally takes the girl from Finn. He glances quickly over to Quinn before gazing lovingly down. "I'm your daddy, but you're gonna call me Uncle Noah, okay? I know it will be weird, but we'll explain it when you're older."
"She can't understand you yet, you know," Quinn says, rolling her eyes. "And we're not going to call her MJ."
Puck frowns. "Why not?"
"Don't want people to think we named her after Michael Jackson, do we?" Kurt mutters as he ties Quinn's hair back in a loose ponytail. She smiles her thanks.
"We'll just tell everybody that it's from Spider-man," Puck says, glaring at him.
"And how is that better, exactly?" Kurt shoots him a look back, but he's very glad that the Happy Family bubble is bursting. This all feels more normal.
Even more so when Finn grins stupidly. "C'mon, who doesn't want her to grow up and marry Peter Parker?"
"Enough!" Quinn shrieks from the bed, but she's giggling and the color's back in her cheeks and even Kurt has to admit that she looks beautiful. "It's Marie, or this whole thing is off!"
"What, you gonna put her back?" Puck asks and holds the girl a little tighter to his chest. He grins. "Gonna have to fight me for it."
"We could always just call her Drizzle!" Finn squeals in his baby voice, tickling the little girl's tummy. The baby makes some kind of gurgled, squeaking noise that, for the rest of his life, Finn will swear is her first laugh.
Marie is the most well behaved baby that's ever lived. As she's passed around the room, she just stares up at whoever is holding her, confused but amazed by this big, bright world she's suddenly in. She doesn't even react to Kurt freaking out a little when it's his turn. He's never had something this small and important in his arms before. He doesn't want to do something wrong. But he also doesn't want to let her go.
Mrs. Hudson decides this is the perfect moment to get a group picture. Kurt feels so out of place when the actual parents (and he includes Finn in that group, because he deserves it) gather around where he sits on Quinn's bed. He smiles wide and hopes he doesn't look too panicked, because this picture is undoubtedly going to last for years in the Fabray-Hudson-Puckerman family.
As they sit there, Quinn leans in and kisses him on the cheek. He looks at her, surprised, and she just smiles at him tiredly. She leans her head on his shoulder and gently strokes the little patch of hair on her daughter's head. Unsure of what else he can do, he kisses her softly on the forehead and leans his own head against hers, as the boys start to argue in the background about who should go get some breakfast for the new mother.
Finn loses, apparently. He swears he'll be back as quickly as he can, and his mother goes with him because nobody is about to say no to some pancakes. Kurt hands Marie back off to Puck, and he and Quinn have their own little family moment that's kind of sickeningly sweet, for a couple that's not really a couple. When a nurse comes in to take the baby to the nursery, because both she and Quinn need their rest, Puck all but begs to bring her himself, so he can watch her for a little longer. "Say bye-bye to Mommy and Auntie Kurt!" he coos at her in the doorway. "You'll see them again after a nice, long nap."
Kurt is alone with Quinn for the first time that he can recall. He turns to her, one eyebrow arched in bemusement. "Auntie Kurt?"
Quinn tries not to giggle, but she's exhausted and doesn't do a very good job. "He started calling you that when we settled on Uncle Noah and it kind of stuck. Same with Uncle Rachel." She laughs again, putting her hand on top of his. "I'm sorry, it's not funny. It's so mean of us. We'll stop right away."
"I guess I don't mind that much," Kurt shrugs. He looks down at their hands as he gives hers a little squeeze. "I'm just honored you think I deserve to be an honorary anything."
Quinn gets control of her giggles, but keeps a warm smile. "Of course I do. You're Finn's..." She hesitates, and presses her lips together for a split second. "You're so close to the family, you deserve it."
Kurt's a little on edge now. If he didn't know better, he'd swear she was trying to say... She's still smiling at him, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.
Kurt starts to laugh. It's the kind of uncontrollable laugh that's mostly because he's nervous and makes him look like a crazy person. But that's perfect in this new crazy world he's apparently living in. He laughs so hard it starts to hurt, deep in his stomach, and he falls back onto the bed. If Quinn didn't look so panicked, he'd probably lay there for a long, long time.
Instead, he wipes the first hint of tears away from his eyes and sits up. "I'm sorry, did you just imply that you think Finn and I are... together?"
She's giving him that look again, the look she used to give him when she still thought he was a freak to his face. "Um... yes?"
He had no way to process this. It's completely absurd, incomprehensible, just weird. He's over tired and she just had a baby, for Christ's sake. There is no way this conversation is actually happening.
He tries again, hoping that Quinn will realize just how crazy she sounds. "... What?"
"Listen, I know you guys are trying to keep it quiet, but I do live with him." She reaches out and takes his hand again, forcing the smile back on her face.
"We're... You think... What?"
"You're kind of obvious."
"Quinn," he says to make sure he has her attention. He takes her free hand in his and looks deep into her eyes. "Finn is straight."
"Really, I don't mind!" She sounds enthusiastic, but her smile is starting to strain. "Finn and I are over. He's free to do whatever he wants. And if you make him happy, then-"
"I don't. Not like that. He's a friend, probably the only guy friend I've ever had, and I..." He has to look away, because he can't stand to see her judge him. "I care about him more than he'll ever understand. But we're not... like that."
Kurt stares at the floor and hopes that the sudden silence doesn't last long. His hands are starting to sweat but he can't make himself let go of the girl. He feels like this is some kind of important soul-baring moment and he needs to know that someone is there for him, even if she doesn't really understand.
"I see the way he looks at you," she whispers, and he forces himself to look her in the eye. She's no longer trying to hide behind the happy mask, but Kurt can't really tell what she's feeling. She just looks tired. "I've seen that look a lot. He used to look at me like that." She looks down at their still-linked hands. "When you went off with that kid at regionals, I thought he was going to murder somebody." She squeezes his hands tightly as she carefully chooses her words. "Whatever it is he feels, he feels it a lot. Which makes you part of this family."
Suddenly, she's in his face, poking his chest violently with one finger. Her eyes have welled with tears, but they are hard with resolve and a passion he's never seen in her before. "Do not hurt him," she hisses with careful emphasis. Kurt can do nothing but nod frantically.
Him. Hurt Finn.
Now that was a thought.
~*~
Mrs. Hudson decided to stay at the hospital until Quinn was ready to go home, so it's Kurt's job give Finn a ride. The sun was just coming up over the peaceful streets of Lima. It was going to be a beautiful day.
"She's gorgeous, isn't she?" Finn gushes for about the tenth time since they left the hospital.
Kurt doesn't try to stop the smile that spreads across his face, because that gushing is completely justified. "She really is," he agrees. "She just may be the only girl I ever fall in love with."
Finn hums his agreement. Kurt had always heard about a new mother's glow and how it made them look beautiful. He never thought the same thing could ever happen to the father. Especially when he wasn't really the father. But the smile hadn't left Finn's face, and there was a new light in his eyes, and Finn looked absolutely gorgeous. Fatherly pride suited him like it had suited no other man.
Kurt tries valiantly to shut his brain up as he pulls into the Hudson driveway. He shifts into park and leans back in his seat. "Here we are," he sighs. "Guess this is it for... awhile."
"What? Why?"
"You have a new baby, Finn," Kurt says like he should know this already. "Even with Quinn and Puck and your mom, you're not exactly going to have time to socialize."
Finn gaped at him in distress. The strange, fatherly, adult Finn had slipped back into the ether. "But... you're coming over when they bring her home, right?"
A swell of relief floods Kurt, and he lets out the breath he's been holding since he first got the call. "If you want me there."
"And you're gonna be over all the time to help us out, right?" He laughs a little, his panic gone as fast as it had appeared. "Someone's gotta make sure MJ grows up with some brains and some class. With me and Puck muscling our way in, Quinn's gonna need someone on her side."
"Of course."
"Then... what's the problem?"
"There isn't one," Kurt says, shaking his head. "I'm just an idiot sometimes."
"No, you're not. You're probably the smartest person I know." Finn reaches out and puts his hand on top of the Kurt's, on top of the gearshift. Their fingers naturally entwine. Kurt hopes his eyes aren't bugging out of his face. "Up until three hours ago, you were the most important thing in my life, more or less. And you're still pretty high up there. So don't think I'm just going to ditch you all of a sudden. I need someone to make sure all my shit's together."
He smiles gently, and Kurt's stomach flops like it hasn't in over a year. He can see it now, the look Quinn was talking about. It wasn't any different from how he looked at anything else, but it made Kurt's mouth dry, his heart race, his mind completely lose grip on reality. The little voice inside him, the one he had stamped down and ignored for so many years now, whispered that it really wouldn't be so hard to just lean over and kiss him.
It takes Kurt so long to decide to stop thinking and go for it, that Finn is already pulling his front door closed behind him. Kurt, alone in his car, screams every curse word he can think of and almost breaks a finger when he punches the steering wheel.
~*~
A few weeks pass before he tells Finn about his conversation with Quinn. Not the embarrassing parts, because that would just be awkward. No, just the part when she thinks they're secretly dating. Finn laughs so hard he squirts formula all over MJ's face. He tries to calm her through a stream of giggles that just seem to upset her more. Kurt has to take over until his friend calms himself, which really is a big deal, because he's wearing a new Armani blazer and if he ends up covered in spit-up again, he's likely to murder someone. Probably Puck.
That was the beginning of the Who Thinks We're Dating Game. Points were given out, which Kurt kept careful track of on his iPhone. There's talk of having awards at the end of the year. Finn gets surprisingly into it, dissecting every sentence uttered his way for innuendo. Kurt goes along with it, because apparently it's not awkward at all if they both think it's ridiculous.
Puck gets 2 points every time he calls them boyfriends. It's his new go-to insult. He doesn't really mean it, but, in his own words, "it's because you're both single and pathetic. And really gay for each other." In Kurt's opinion, he's just gotten lazy. He spends every moment he can with his daughter and no longer has the time or energy to be antagonistic. He's a kinder, gentler Puck, who washes the dishes when Quinn needs a nap, and drives MJ around town when it's three in the morning and she still can't sleep. Finn swears he's even written some lullaby’s to sing to her over the phone, but he makes everybody leave the room so he can't be certain. Even as a voice on the phone, nobody wants piss off Papa Bear.
And then there's the time at Tina's birthday party, which is the only full gathering of the glee kids that summer, and only because Finn's mom had to insist on some alone time with her quasi-granddaughter. They're all a little tipsy off the rum Rachel had stolen from her dads and the girls are all a little too loud as they try to upstage each other on Singstar. Puck casually pulls him aside and tells him that, despite him being a dick a lot of the time, he thinks Kurt is actually a pretty cool guy. And if his boy has to be a fairy, at least it's with someone like him. He doesn't get any points for that one, because that's a conversation that never happened, or Kurt loses his balls.
Mercedes, however, gets a well deserved 25 that night, for dragging Finn into the backyard and giving him the requisite best-friend-threat. It goes a lot like Kurt's conversation with Quinn, only Finn's a little bit scared of Mercedes, more-so when she's drunk, and he has to stay outside for a few extra minutes so he doesn't start crying. Kurt gives her a bonus 10 for that.
Rachel spends far too much time at the Hudson's for an ex-girlfriend, stopping by to lend Quinn her baby tap shoes and making sure the music selections of the house are well rounded and include enough show tunes. Quinn reminds her that Marie is five weeks old, but Rachel says that she is proof that you can never be too young to start your rise to stardom. That's usually when someone intervenes, asking Rachel what her plans are for glee next year or getting Quinn to help make lunch. Anything to stop the cat fight that's brewing.
Before she leaves, she'll pull Finn into a hug and tell him that she's glad he's so happy now. It's just vague enough to make him kind of uncomfortable but not earn her any points. If Kurt's around, he gets a hug too, and reassurance that she does not hold any kind of grudge. 5 points, every time.
Brittany gets 50 points in one go, by asking Kurt if he and Finn want to double with her and Santana. Kurt tries to take her aside and calmly explain that they're just friends and that Finn is straight. Brittany stares at him vacantly for a few minutes, then tells him that that's okay, because Santana is also straight, and she won't know it's a date either. Kurt gives her another 20 points and a hug.
In the lead by far, to Kurt's eternal red-faced chagrin, is his father. Every day, he'll stop him from talking about his time spent at Finn's, saying he doesn’t "need to know the details, kid." He'll call Kurt at awkward times to make sure he's where he said he'd be, and that "nothing funny's happening." If Finn's over, his father makes him keep the door to his room open, and will constantly stick his head down to check up on them. If Finn stays for dinner, he actually has them all sit at the kitchen table and will grill the boy about school and his plans for the future and if he's even been in trouble with the police and just how responsible is he with that baby? Finn thinks it's all hilarious, because even Mr. Fabray with his mind constantly on his daughter's virtue hadn't been this intense with him. Of course, he's not the one who found a box of condoms in his bathroom which Kurt refuses to touch because that would acknowledge that they're real and that his father actually thought of that kind of thing and actually maybe approves a little, and Kurt just can't handle that.
Finn's mom doesn't get any points, because Kurt likes her too much to make her part of their stupid game. She's one of the few people he knows that is actually interested when she asks how his day is going. She makes sure that he has enough to eat and gives him extra to take home to his father and is always sure to thank him for being there for the baby before he goes home. Whenever they get quite moments alone, when the others are being stupid over the baby and Kurt feels too much of an outsider to join in, she'll smile at him warmly and ask him if he thinks her son is honestly happy. Kurt is always struck that he's the one she asks about something so important to her. He always gives her an extra-tight hug and tells her that, yeah, he thinks he is.
~*~
Quinn never gets any points. Not that she doesn't deserve them sometimes, because she'll say stuff, just like everybody, that Finn immediately jumps on as point-worthy. Kurt never bothers to add them, though, because he knows, he knows, that in a few seconds she'll do something that will just negate them. A hand on his arm while she laughs at one of his jokes. A shared look held too long. Kissing him on the cheek for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
Not that Kurt really cares, beyond his score keeping. If she wants to try and win Finn back, that's her business. He's certainly not jealous, of course, just because they live together and are raising a baby together and Finn was intensely in love with her at one point. Besides, he knows Finn is smarter than that.
But just in case, because Kurt knows that it's safest to not overestimate Finn's intelligence, he decides to warn him. As a friend. Even though he's not jealous.
"What?" is Finn's ever eloquent response. He's concentrating on being gentle with MJ as he pats her back, trying to coax her to burp. She's been gurgling contentedly at the dishwasher for the past ten minutes.
"Quinn wants you back," Kurt states matter-of-factly from his perch on the kitchen counter. He's borrowed one of Finn's old t-shirts and is ready with the spit up cloth, a lesson he's learned well over the past month.
"What? I mean, I heard you, but why would you think that?" Finn swings around to face him, which earns him a delighted squeal from the girl in his arms.
"I think it has something to do with my having eyes," Kurt says with a raised brow.
"Dude, you're crazy. That's my girl!" The shift in tone is jarring and really kind of adorable. He doesn't even try to stop grinning anymore. "Big burps for big dinner!"
"Will you put Mary Jo down and just listen for a second?" Kurt tries to keep his stern face on as Finn straps the baby into her carrier. As cute as fatherly Finn (always) is, there was a time to be turn into a giant girl and a time to be serious.
"I am listening and you're crazy," Finn says as he starts to play with the girl's toes. "I live with her. I think I'd know if she was trying to win me back."
"Well, exactly, you're too close," Kurt says as he tosses the rag at Finn's head. "One second, you're helping fold laundry, the next, you can't find your underwear and MJ's got a little brother on the way."
"Listen to Uncle Kurt, being so silly," Finn coos down to the girl, wiping some drool off her face with the rag. He straightens up and faces his friend. "Really, you don't know what you're talking about. Quinn and I are never getting back together."
"You say that now-"
"Because I mean it. 'Cuz, maybe, I've actually kind of thought about it." He shakes his head a little, trying to organize his thoughts. "Puck would kill me, for one. He's been trying way too hard to stay on her good side for her to just turn to me all of a sudden. For another..." He sighs and leans back over the baby, tickling her stomach. "Getting back together means we might break up. And if we do that, then I might have to say goodbye to this little thing, and I just can't do that, can I?" Even with the high-pitched baby voice, Kurt is struck by how unbelievably sad the sentiment is. He's beginning to regret ever bringing it up.
"For another-" Finn continues, but stops short. Stops completely, still hunched over the baby but no longer playing with her. He's frozen for a minute before standing up and looking at Kurt with an intensity that he's never seen before. It makes him feel like he should maybe run away, though he can't really put a finger on why. He just knows that that would be a very, very bad idea.
They stay like that, just looking at each other, for what feels like hours before Finn finally clears his throat and finishes his thought. "For another, I'm kind of already seeing somebody."
Oh. Well, that was new. Kurt briefly wonders how he missed it, if maybe all those visits from Rachel weren't so random after all, but Finn's starting to smile sheepishly and it makes the bottom of his stomach drop out.
"So, uh... how many points do you think I should get for that one?"
It's all Kurt can do to keep himself breathing. Despite Finn's continued embarrassed grinning, he just can't seem to find the humor in the situation. "That's not funny," he whispers, because that's all he can manage
Finn's face falters slightly and he takes a step forward. And Kurt is suddenly very aware that he is now trapped, sitting on the countertop with his best friend's stomach pressed against his knees. "I wasn't trying to be," Finn says. His face softens, his smile is gentle, and he slowly reaches out and touches Kurt's chin.
Kurt never imagined that the sound of a baby crying would be such a relief. He silently thanks whatever deity that's watching over him for making the world's best behaved baby scream like that, because Finn's stepped out of his personal space and is busy picking up the distressed creature and trying to reassure her that, whatever it was, he could fix it. Kurt takes the opportunity to get to his feet and make sure he has a clear path to the exit.
"Don't worry, Mama's here," Quinn coos as she swoops in from literally nowhere, as far as Kurt can tell. She takes her daughter from the fumbling boy and kisses her cheek and holds her close. "Mama's here and I'm gonna make it all better." She shoots a pointed look at both the boys. "And Uncle Finn and Uncle Kurt are going to go somewhere and finish their conversation before I kill them both for being so frustrating."
"I think I'm just gonna head home, it's late," Kurt mutters as he sprints for the door. He's outside before there can be any reply. The sticky, humid July air makes him all too aware that he's still wearing Finn's shirt, and that his own clothes are inside. With his bag. And his keys.
Suddenly exhausted, he sits on the front stairs and holds his head between his knees. He's had plenty of reasons to think that the universe hates him, but this tops them all. Games aside, watching the man he loved with his daughter, seeing the absolute joy that takes over his face as he holds her, had been the final push he needed to let him go. There were just some things that Finn obviously needed that Kurt would never be able to give him and, honestly, he had been fine with that. He had been ready to finally stop mooning and scour the Cheerios for the closet cases and move on. But now, now there was the slightest hint of a possibility of hope and Kurt was spiraling right back into love.
Kurt Hummel: Cosmic Joke.
He hears the door open behind him, senses the presence that sits beside him. Finn doesn't say anything, just sits there in silence. Waiting. And after a long time, Kurt gathers everything inside of him and looks up, definitely not crying, and looks into his eyes. "I'm over you."
Later, Quinn will tell them about the bet among the rest of the glee club. Everyone else had chosen to be subtle about it, except Brittany, who had her own genius plans. Quinn had gone the jealousy route, because it was not only affective, but had the added bonus of driving Puck crazy.
Weeks later, Finn will tell him how it all started. Way before bottles and diapers and forming a big, dysfunctional family, before the insanity of regionals and the roller coaster that was dating Rachel Berry, there was a boy who saw the real Finn Hudson. There was driving to the middle of nowhere to sing and late night phone calls and being able to tell each other when they were being idiots. There was a spark, which, like any red blooded teenage boy brought up in the middle of Ohio, Finn had ignored, stamped down into the very bottom of himself so he could say that it was gone, but it still burned just a little. And after he'd finally allowed it to grow, it had taken over him in a way he had never expected
He'll tell him about how whenever he imagines Marie growing up, Kurt is always there. He's the one who buys the dress for her first day of school. He's the one who makes sure she's still gorgeous when she wakes up with a huge zit of photo day. When Finn is threatening her first date, Kurt is beside him, looking threatening and sometimes holding a knife. Kurt will tear up, just a little, and immediately find something else for Finn to do with his mouth so he’ll just shut up already. Later that day, Burt Hummel will come home to find his son's door closed, and he will stop himself from bursting into the room so see just what's going on down there and instead start on a new list of questions for that Hudson boy.
In about twelve seconds, Puck will pull into the driveway and start to laugh. He'll then make a big production out of trying to go around them and get the door open when they're sitting in front of it, but they won't even notice.
But right now, the sun is going down and the streetlights are just starting to go on and Finn is taking Kurt's face in his hands. After an agonizingly long time of just looking at him, he leans forward and presses their lips together. The kiss is soft and gentle and holds the promise for so much more. It says everything that Finn wants to say but can't figure out how, and it makes Kurt's blood sing.
For the first time in a long time, Kurt Hummel loves the world.
~FIN~
Edit 8-19-10
Thank you to everyone who voted at the glee_fic_awards! I'm really touched that this monster that ate my braaaaain resonated with so many people. Or, enough people. Same diff. :D
5) Daniel Harlee
Kurt first sees him in the check-in line for regionals. He's wearing a dark woolen overcoat that he instantly recognizes from last year's Hugo Boss collection, and his thick-framed glasses had to be Dolce & Gabbana or at least some really good knock-offs. His hair is dyed black and hangs in his eyes, but not in a tasteless, scenester way. He's also wearing bright red skinny pants, which is not a look many people can pull off, but it really suits him.
He's very, very cute. Kurt's staring, which he only realizes when the boy looks his way. Kurt freezes in place, blushing furiously, and wonders if it would be too conspicuous to try and duck down behind Mike Chang. But the boy just looks at his own designer coat and boots and then smiles at him. A kindred spirit.
There's a reception after dinner for everyone participating. It's supposed to be a social event, but the only real mingling being done is a large group of girls fawning over one of the guys from Vocal Adrenaline, who has curly brown hair and a smile that lights up the room and, so rumor says, the voice of an angel. A really attractive angel. Kurt stands off to the side with Tina and Artie and Mercedes and pretends to watch in awe as Rachel fights to the front of the pack surrounding this Show Choir God. But really, he's scanning the crowd for bright red pants.
Someone taps him on the shoulder. He turns to meet stunningly light blue eyes behind what are definitely D&G glasses. The boy's grinning like he just won the lottery. He looks Kurt over once more before saying, "I may have to kill you for your boots."
Kurt's stomach is doing some serious hairography, but he's learned to keep his cool in situations like this. He puts on his best smirk. "And I would have killed you for your coat. Last year." His friends all 'oooh' mockingly, with Artie throwing in a quiet "Burn!" but the boy just laughs and Kurt thinks he just might throw up.
His name is Daniel Harlee, and he's part of Vocal Adrenaline. He's not the best singer, but he's good enough for the harmonies. Mainly, he's there to dance. "None of the crazy, acrobatic stuff," he says dismissively when Kurt presses. "That's all flash and no heart. But the crowd eats it up, so the guy who's had classical training since he was four gets shoved to the back to do lifts and carries. Not that I'm bitter, or anything." Someone's found the sound system and an impromptu dance had started at one end of the hall, but Daniel refuses to show him some of his moves. "Can't go revealing our secret weapon just yet," he says with a wink. "Not even for you."
They sit at a table on their own and talk for hours. They talk about their clubs, though dodging around their song choices gets a little tiring. Fashion, surprisingly, doesn't take a lot of their time. Daniel doesn't care so much about brands or names, but he fakes it for a long time while Kurt gushes all over him. His philosophy is 'if it looks good, buy it,' regardless of price, which is why he spent the full $400 for his glasses. Kurt promises to teach him how to shop, if he wants. The invitation's barely out of his mouth when it's accepted, and Kurt realizes that maybe he's not the only one who's a little nervous right now.
It's Kurt's turn to fake it when they talk about music. He's never heard of any of the bands Daniel likes, but he's so passionate about them and their 'art' that Kurt just kind of nods and makes nonsensical affirmations when appropriate. Kurt half-lies and says he only really listens to musical theater, but cops to Lady GaGa, because he thinks she might have some lingering hipster cred in her success. It's all ruined when Mike comes up and asks him to lead the other football guys in a Single Ladies Off against some of the girls from Our Sister of Divine Mercy. They absolutely school those Catholic school sluts, despite automatically going into formation at the end. Kurt basks in the glory for as long as he can because he dreads going back to his table to get laughed at. But Daniel applauds him and compliments his form and demands to hear about how hard it is to choreograph a football team.
The surprise of the night is how intense they both are about their skin care. Kurt goes through a step by step replay of his morning, afternoon, and before-bed rituals, down to number of sprays and how long he lets his cleanser set, and Daniel eats it up. Kurt's never seen anybody so passionate about peppermint-oil nightly facial masks. "I'm minty fresh all day," he gushes. "Seriously. Smell my face."
It's a little weird, but Kurt does it. He does smell like mint. But Kurt doesn't really care, because Daniel's turned his face that extra inch and he's kissing him softly. It only lasts a few seconds, but it's sweet and Daniel's lips are soft and warm and it's everything Kurt's ever dreamed of in a first kiss.
The boy backs up, clearly nervous that he's made a mistake or crossed some kind of line. So Kurt kisses him again, putting a hand on Daniel's thigh just in case the message isn't clear enough. The other boy laughs into his mouth but backs away again. He stands and grabs Kurt's hand. "Come on," he says as he drags him towards the back of the room. "Let's not do this in front of half of Western Ohio."
There's a small hallway in the back of the room, leading to some bathrooms and the hotel's kitchen. It's dark and out of the way, and no one would notice them if they weren't looking too hard. Daniel pushes Kurt against a wall and presses their bodies together and kisses him breathless. He's a few inches taller than Kurt and his arms are toned from years of lifting dancers. But he's not bulky or awkward or any of the other things he's unusually worried about. He's perfect.
Kurt's been in this position countless times in his mind: with Finn, with Lucas, with Jake Gyllenhaal. But it was real this time, and not at all like what he imagined. It's so much better. When Daniel presses his tongue against his lips, Kurt is only too happy to let them part, let the other boy explore his mouth with a kind of unhurried enthusiasm that drives him crazy. Kurt doesn't know what on earth to do with his hands, so he just throws them around Daniel's body and holds him tight. When the other boy reaches around and grabs his butt, pulling them closer, Kurt starts to giggle. God help him. He wants to die. But Daniel just stands back a little and laughs - with him, not at him - and kisses along his neck a few times before pulling him close again.
Kurt is starting to get overwhelmed. He can feel the blood rushing through his body, settling between his legs. He'd be embarrassed if he couldn't feel the same thing happening to the other boy. He knows he should take this slow. They should go on that shopping date together. Kurt should show him those small little boutiques where they know him by name and are lenient with their payment plans. And then he should let Daniel show him some 'real music', where he'll tell his dad that he's staying with Mercedes and they'll sneak off to the city. They'll sneak a few swallows of wine before entering whatever club, and they'll hang around afterwards to find out where they can party with the band. They'll get back to Lima at four in the morning smelling like cigarettes and cheap beer and they'll kiss as the sun comes up. A few dates like that, and then they would start navigating the strange waters of teenage sex, because they are both gentlemen and respect each other a great deal.
Only Kurt is sixteen and horny and has a hotel room key card resting uncomfortably between his ass and Daniel's hands. So when they split apart for a second to try and catch their breath, Kurt can't stop from blurting out, "Want to come up to my room?"
Daniel looks down at him, clearly surprised. And then, for a split second, he looks to the side. It could have been anything - a chill, a muscle twinge, an unconscious movement as he thinks things over. But Kurt had noticed it, even through the haze of lust and future plans that clouded his mind. So even though Daniel says yes, and bends to kiss him one more time before they ditch this party, Kurt doesn't let himself get lost in him again. He cracks his eyes open and tries to follow where the other boy had looked.
Two people are sitting at the table closest to them. Rachel Berry is talking rapidly at the brown-haired Glee God, obviously thrilled to have him to herself. But he is looking over her shoulder, into the darkened hallway that leads to the bathrooms and kitchen. His face is carefully blank, as if he's just staring into space. But when he notices Kurt looking back at him, his posture suddenly tenses and he turns back to Rachel with a forced smile and a too-loud laugh.
Daniel grabs his hand, linking their fingers together as they walk toward the hall's exit. He's giggling himself now. Kurt squeezes his hand and shoots him a wicked grin, walking a little faster, pulling him along. Making a production of it. Making sure they're seen. When they reach the door, he pulls him close and kisses him again, short and sweet with a hint of something more.
He stops short as soon as they're out of sight of the reception hall. Daniel keeps walking, tugging at his arm impatiently. When he doesn't budge, the boy turns to him, confused. "We're going upstairs, right?"
"Do you have a chance with him?"
Daniel's face goes blank. "Do I what?"
"That guy back there. The one you wanted to see us."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Daniel steps closer to Kurt, cupping his face in his hands. He smiles down at him sweetly, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.
"I just want to know. Is he the straight boy who you will keep trying to seduce even though you know he'll never give you what you want? Or is he the "straight" boy who arranged for you to room together so you can fool around but barely speaks to you in public?"
Daniel's gaze drops to the floor, and his face colors. Bingo.
It takes a long time for the boy to look up again, though he still can't meet Kurt's eyes. "He's my boyfriend."
"Of course he is," Kurt sighs. He walks past him, towards the elevators. He suddenly has a headache and very much wants to lie down.
"No, he's... He's not anymore. Because of what you said." He grabs Kurt's shoulder, trying to get him to slow down so he won't have to yell all this across the lobby. "He's fine with fooling around, and everyone in the club knows because he can't really keep his hands to himself, but... He's not out. He'll never be out. And I'm sick of having to hide under the bed when his parents get home and arriving at the movies separately and... All of it. So it's over. And I really like you, Chris."
Red flashes before his eyes, but he manages to keep himself from screaming. "It's Kurt."
Daniel's face flushes. His hands drop back to his sides. "Shit," he mumbles. Then he sits on the floor, in the middle of a hotel lobby, and buries his head in his hands. Kurt has no idea what to do. Nobody’s around, but a few staff members were starting to look at them funny and Kurt doesn't want to have to clean up after the public nervous breakdown of a boy he barely knows. He grabs Daniel by the upper arm and drags him back to his feet. He hustles him over to the elevators and frantically pushes the button until one arrives. Once they're safely inside, he keeps his thumb on the door-close button. They need to be alone for a few minutes.
"You really love him, don't you?"
Daniel resumes sitting on the floor of the elevator. His face goes completely red and he’s taken off his glasses, but he hasn’t started to cry. Yet. He can barely speak, so he just nods.
Kurt sighs and kneels in front of the boy. "Well he certainly saw us leave together, so he's going to be jealous." This just seems to distress Daniel more. He bangs his head back against the metal walls and swears. Kurt reaches out and grabs one of his hands, trying to catch his attention again. "No. No, that's good. Because the next time he sees you, he'll have realized just how much he cares about you. And when you tell him that nothing happened because I wasn't him and you couldn't let yourself do something you know you'd just regret, he'll... You'll get your happy ending." He pauses for a second, letting that sink in. Then he smirks. "Or you can tell him that we screwed like bunnies all over your hotel room and he will be tortured by that image for an eternity."
Daniel actually manages to laugh. He sniffs and wipes at his eyes, though his tears had not managed to escape him. "I could definitely live with that," he says, climbing to his feet. He hesitates, then pulls Kurt into a hug. "Thank you," he whispers into his ear.
Kurt closes his eyes and slowly winds his arms around the other boy. Still frames of shopping trips and concerts that would never be flash through his mind. He shakes it off. He's being stupid. Again. The slightest bit of attention from another cute guy and he practically plans their wedding. He needs to stop doing this.
He needs to get laid.
They break the hug, but stay standing close. Daniel leans in, but looks into Kurt's eyes, searching for permission. And Kurt gives in and lets him kiss him again, because he doesn't know how long he's going to have to wait for the next guy to come around. This kiss is different, chaste, an apology and a thank you, though it was still very sweet. And for a few seconds, Kurt lets himself imagine that the night is going in a whole different direction, one where he won't have to answer really awkward questions tomorrow about where the kid he had snuck off with had gone.
The door to the elevator opens. Mr. Schuester stands there, having returned from whatever bar the chorus directors had gone to. He looks between the two boys, smiles awkwardly at Kurt, and says, "Guess I'll wait for the next one."
"No, you go ahead," Daniel says as he steps back into the lobby. He turns back, hands in the pockets of his red pants. "I'm going to take a walk. I... Thank you. Really. Kurt." He smiles, then walks back toward the entrance.
Mr. Schue gets on and waits for the doors to close before he tries to speak. "I don't want to talk about it," Kurt quickly cuts him off before he's even done inhaling. The next 20 seconds are the most awkward of his life, and he practically sprints to his room once they reach their floor.
He pretends to be asleep when Artie and Finn get back an hour later. He wakes up early and drags Brittany to the breakfast buffet, because she probably has no idea something had even happened that night. He's unusually quiet when they all regroup to prepare for their performance. He can't wait to get home so he can affectively disappear for a few days.
The next day, when Vocal Adrenaline are announced Regional Champions, New Directions accept their defeat gracefully and watch the other school jump and scream and celebrate their way up to the stage. They all see when the Glee God - who had lived up to his reputation and then some during their performance - pulls Daniel to him for a quick kiss before accepting the trophy. Rachel squeaks a little. Kurt knows that everyone else is probably wondering what he's thinking, if he's hurt, if he'll be okay.
What he's thinking is, they must have worked something out. They both look really happy, and not just because they've won for the hundredth time in a row. And they made a really cute couple.
Kurt hates them. So much.
6) Finn Hudson
Looking back at how strongly Kurt insisted that he was in love, he can't stop laughing at himself. It was undeniably a crush, semi-adult infatuation he had blown out of proportion. There was no shame in that. It didn't change the fact that all it took was a pretty face and a kind word to turn his brain to mush and get him out of his pants, should the opportunity arise.
No, Kurt realizes now that he was never really in love with Finn. Not the real Finn, anyway. He had been in love with the guy he had created in his head, based solely on the fact that he was the only football player that didn't actively try to beat him up. Finn In His Head was kind and compassionate. He was a little too conscious of his social status and let that guide his decisions sometimes, but he had some basic principles that he stuck by no matter what the situation. He wasn't the brightest kid at McKinley, but he made up for it in heart. And when he really cared about something, he would go down fighting for it.
Of course, having actually gotten to know the real Finn, actual true-to-God Finn Hudson, Finn In His Head wasn't exactly the truth. He was what Finn wanted other people to think of him as, and he really was like that at times, but that Finn had no depth. He was boring. He lacked a lot of what made Real Finn... Finn. Real Finn craves acceptance, because being popular was something he was good at, something he couldn't disappoint anyone with. Real Finn is hyper self-aware, and thinks he's too tall and too awkward and hates having to dance in front of anyone if he hasn't learned the steps yet. Real Finn suffers from crippling self-doubt but has learned to hide it a long time ago. Because Real Finn needs people to think he's perfect, because if he's perfect, everyone will be happy, and then he can be happy too. Only Real Finn is starting to carry a whole lot of resentment around with him, because suddenly 'perfect' is too different for too many people, but being himself is just too hard some days.
Real Finn isn't really book smart, but he's surprisingly intuitive when it comes to others emotions, though he never fully grasps the 'whys' of people's moods. Because of this, he can be a manipulative bastard when he wants to be, but he mostly uses his powers for good. Real Finn falls in love almost as easily as Kurt does, but he's saving his heart for a little girl that he may never get to see, and that kills him inside. Real Finn wishes he could remember his dad, but honestly wants his mom to start dating again so she'll stop looking so sad all the time. Real Finn is the kind of guy who, when Kurt calls him at four in the morning because he doesn't know what else to do, barely able to speak through his tears because he had dreamt about her again and he just misses her so much some days, will stay on the line and make soothing noises (and even sing a little) until it's a decent enough hour to drive over and take him out to breakfast and compliment how good he manages to look even in sweat pants and no sleep and actually mean it.
Yeah, Finn In His Head was just a crush. A very intense, idealized crush that he is so over now. Because he's met Real Finn. And Real Finn is probably the most amazing person that Kurt's ever met. And Kurt doesn't even pretend to go after him, because he knows Real Finn will not only be unable to return his feelings, he'd be upset that he may have hurt a friend because of it. And Kurt just wants Finn to be happy, with himself, with his friends, with his life.
It's when Kurt decides to let him go, to try and move on, that he knows just how in love he is. Really, genuinely, stars in his eyes, do something beyond stupid in its name love. Which really sucks, because there are a lot of really intense feelings he has to purge from his system. But he's more than willing to try. He'd much rather be Finn's friend than nothing, or worse, someone he can't look in the eye because he knows how much he's disappointed him.
So Kurt sticks by his side through his breakup with Quinn, though it takes Finn a few days to stop being mad at him and acknowledge that it wasn't Kurt's place to say anything about the baby, even though he knew. And he's there for him (literally, standing out of sight down the hall) when Finn tells Quinn that he's still mad at her and he still isn't near ready to forgive her, but he wants her to stay so he won't have to worry about her or her daughter. (And Kurt hears the crack in his voice as he emphasizes her daughter and his heart breaks as he bites his tongue.) Kurt's the one he sits with at lunch, because if he even hears Puck's name he has to either throw something or punch someone in the face.
Kurt's the one who hangs out with him on the weekends and fumbles his way through co-op Halo in exchange for letting him do the occasional facial. Kurt's the one who goes with him to Wendy's after practice to watch him try to break his Three Frosties in Five Minutes record. Kurt's the one who makes him drive to the middle of nowhere and back, blasting music and singing at the top of their lungs. Kurt's the one who tries to puzzle out the rules of basketball with Rachel so they can both understand what they're cheering Finn on for, so that he'll have someone who actually knows him in the stands.
Kurt's the one who bumps his fist when he finally asks Rachel out. Kurt's the one who practically breaks his thumbs texting during their first few dates, trying to explain the Broadway references that go over Finn's head, feed him compliments about Rachel's still-tragic wardrobe, and assure him that getting hibachi with her dads is not some weird gay thing. Kurt's the one who makes the reservation and has his suit laundered and buys the roses so when Finn's one month anniversary plan of go-carts and pizza is a clear disappointment, he has a Plan B.
Kurt's the one who gets the phone call the night Finn loses his virginity ("I mean, I don't want to spread this around. I don't kiss and tell," Finn says, and Kurt can hear him beaming through the phone. "This is just the kind of thing you have to tell someone, you know?") Kurt's the one who congratulates him and listens to the gory details about not making a fool of himself and how Rachel was really happy afterwards, and how grateful he is that Kurt helped him not fuck this up from the beginning. Kurt's the one who gets in the shower immediately afterwards so he can sob without disturbing his father, because no matter how hard you purge, some things still hurt.
Kurt's the one who calls him a complete idiot when, a week later, 'Finnchel' are no more. Finn just kind of shrugs at him, surprisingly nonchalant about the whole thing. "It just wasn't working out, I guess. She's kind of high strung and clingy. And she kind of scares me a little." He smiles down at Kurt. "Sorry, man. I know how much work you put into this. Believe me, it wasn't you, it was me."
Kurt's the one who can smack him upside the head and get away with it.
~*~
Kurt's the one who gets the phone call when he's about to sit down to dinner. Finn's out of breath and stumbling over his words and it takes a long time to realize what the hell he's trying to say. When Kurt figures it out, he's on his feet, grabbing his keys with a hurried apology to his father, and on his way to the hospital.
Finn jumps up from his chair in the waiting room as soon as he arrives. His hands are shaking and he's sweating in unseemly places and he clearly doesn't know what to do now that he's standing. All his nervous energy is starting to make Kurt nervous, which is bad, because he's pretty sure he's supposed to be the sane one in this situation. "How's Quinn?" he finally asks, when it's clear Finn is out of his depths.
"Fine. Or probably not, she was screaming a lot on the way here." He looks down the hall, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. "She doesn't want me in there, which I get, but I just... My mom's with her though. She's gonna be fine."
"They'll both be fine," Kurt assures, taking a seat. He crosses his legs primly and fixes his hair and tries to give off the sense that he knows exactly what is going on and that it is no big deal. His foot is bouncing unusually fast, though. He hopes Finn doesn't notice. "Did you call her parents?" he asks as a distraction.
"Yeah. Her dad hung up on me the first few times. I think her mom thanked me, but it was a really fast conversation." Finn sits across from him, bent over with his arms resting on his knees, wringing his hands only a little. "I don't think they're gonna show up."
"Mmm," Kurt says noncommittally, because the less he hears about the Fabray's, the better. "And Puck?"
Finn just looks at him blankly. He blinks, then turns a little pink. "Yeah. I should probably call him, shouldn't I?"
Kurt sighs. He had expected that all of this drama would be long over by the time the baby was due. He knew for a fact that Quinn and Puck had made some kind of arrangement, where they weren't exactly together but he'd still be in his daughter's life. And, considering how Finn had eventually forgiven his ex-girlfriend, his ex-best friend should naturally have been next in line. And yet here he was, staring at his phone instead of dialing, so completely unwilling to face the guy that he couldn't even tell him that Quinn was in labor. It was so unnecessary and childish. Kurt had a feeling he hadn't helped things, but no one ever said he was Noah Puckerman's Number One Fan. He didn't let that stop him from plucking the phone from his friend's hands and calling the punk himself.
When Puck does arrive, he isn't the stammering, nervous mess that Finn had turned into. His anger is rolling off him in waves, and the rest of the people in the tiny waiting area watch him wearily as he storms over to the boys. Finn had been pacing for the better part of the hour, and is more than prepared for the violent shove he's greeted with.
"What the fuck, Hudson?" Puck spits, shoving him again. "The baby - my daughter is coming and you don't even call me?"
"Funny," Finn says as he shoves back, "Quinn didn't say anything about making sure you were here. I just figured she didn't want you. Like always."
"Oh, but your little fucking boyfriend deserves to be here, right? He gonna hold your hand while you squeeze something out of your giant vagina?"
"At least you're not gonna get him pregnant."
This is getting ridiculous. "Boys," Kurt snaps, and stands himself. "As wonderfully entertaining I'm sure everyone else in this room finds your screaming, will you two just shut the fuck up for a second?" This gets the boys' attention. Kurt never swears. He looks between the two, pleased at their reaction, before continuing.
"The girl you both at some point loved is down that hallway having a baby. So before that happens, all this nonsense is going to be taken care of, understand?" The two, after a lot of hesitation and looking around the room, nod. "You," he says, pointing at Puck, "knocked up your best friend's girlfriend, which is so incredibly stupid there are no words. But you're aware of that, correct?" Another reluctant nod, though Puck looks like he is very close to punching something. Kurt hurriedly turns to Finn. "And you, well, you've already forgiven Quinn, whom one would think you'd be even more angry at. Now you're just holding a grudge for the sake of it." Kurt crosses his arms and looks between them. "Quinn's already made it very clear she doesn’t want either of you acting as the babydaddy, so there's no argument there. Just apologize to each other already, and get. Over. It."
There's a lot of grumbling and eye rolling and generally making faces. It's a few minutes before Puck finally says to his feet, "I am sorry, dude. It's just, you know I... It's her."
"I know, man. Same for me."
They shake hands. There's scattered applause from the other people around, and Kurt has to wonder what they must think is going on.
It's far from comfortable. They're not about to rip each other's heads off, but they're not really talking either. Six months is a lot of anger to just suddenly let go of. But they're being civil to each other, which is all Kurt can really hope for at this point. Puck's joined Finn in pacing the room, and they both jump at every little noise, ready to run and harass every doctor or orderly that enters the room. An older woman sighs and tells them for the eighth time that no, there's been no change with Ms. Fabray, and that labor can last a very long time, and Kurt decides to go get some coffee. Part of him hopes they'll kill each other in his absence, so he can wait for the baby in peace. It's really not a lot to hope for. When he gets back, they're both sitting calmly, side-by-side, and ogling a young, attractive woman now sitting at nurses' station. Kurt will never understand how a straight boy's mind works, and sometimes, he's really grateful for that.
At 4:06 AM, Marie Joanna Fabray enters the world. Mrs. Hudson quietly ushers the boys into the room, but the sight of mother and child stops them all in the doorway. Quinn looks absolutely exhausted. Her hair is limp, her skin is clammy from hours of pained sweating, and she can barely keep her eyes open. But they way she's looking down at her daughter, so full of relief and love, and the way the baby is looking up at her in complete wonder is breathtaking. When Quinn looks up and smiles at them, Kurt's pretty sure there are tears in everyone's eyes. His own included.
They all gather around the bed, barely breathing for fear of disturbing the little girl. She's the spitting image of her mother, though what little hair she has is dark. They all coo their hellos, and she looks at each of them with wide green eyes and they all fall in love instantly.
"Do you want to hold her?" Quinn offers to no one in particular. Finn reaches out, but stops himself. He looks back at Puck. The boy looks between his daughter and her mother and his friend. Finally, he nods his approval and steps back.
Finn gently takes the baby in his arms, his mother coaching him to be careful of her head, and don't drop her if she starts to move too much. Finn looks even more ridiculously huge with a newborn in his arms, and no one's ever seen him smile the way he is right now again. He's a completely different person, the one Quinn never thought he could be, the one he's been hoping to be for a long time.
"Hi there. Hi, Marie," he whispers to her over and over, using the high-pitched voice reserved for babies and small animals. Puck comes up to stand beside him, and starts to stroke his daughter's pudgy little arm. Finn's mom looks like she's about to burst from pride. Quinn just looks like she's about to burst into happy tears and then fall asleep. Kurt feels incredibly out of place within this screwed up little family, so backs off to the other side of the bed. There's a hairbrush on the nightstand, and he picks it up and starts in on Quinn's hair. She's surprised at first, but lets him do what he wants, first smoothing out all the tangles, then trying to tease a little life back into the damp locks.
"Hey there, MJ," Puck says as he finally takes the girl from Finn. He glances quickly over to Quinn before gazing lovingly down. "I'm your daddy, but you're gonna call me Uncle Noah, okay? I know it will be weird, but we'll explain it when you're older."
"She can't understand you yet, you know," Quinn says, rolling her eyes. "And we're not going to call her MJ."
Puck frowns. "Why not?"
"Don't want people to think we named her after Michael Jackson, do we?" Kurt mutters as he ties Quinn's hair back in a loose ponytail. She smiles her thanks.
"We'll just tell everybody that it's from Spider-man," Puck says, glaring at him.
"And how is that better, exactly?" Kurt shoots him a look back, but he's very glad that the Happy Family bubble is bursting. This all feels more normal.
Even more so when Finn grins stupidly. "C'mon, who doesn't want her to grow up and marry Peter Parker?"
"Enough!" Quinn shrieks from the bed, but she's giggling and the color's back in her cheeks and even Kurt has to admit that she looks beautiful. "It's Marie, or this whole thing is off!"
"What, you gonna put her back?" Puck asks and holds the girl a little tighter to his chest. He grins. "Gonna have to fight me for it."
"We could always just call her Drizzle!" Finn squeals in his baby voice, tickling the little girl's tummy. The baby makes some kind of gurgled, squeaking noise that, for the rest of his life, Finn will swear is her first laugh.
Marie is the most well behaved baby that's ever lived. As she's passed around the room, she just stares up at whoever is holding her, confused but amazed by this big, bright world she's suddenly in. She doesn't even react to Kurt freaking out a little when it's his turn. He's never had something this small and important in his arms before. He doesn't want to do something wrong. But he also doesn't want to let her go.
Mrs. Hudson decides this is the perfect moment to get a group picture. Kurt feels so out of place when the actual parents (and he includes Finn in that group, because he deserves it) gather around where he sits on Quinn's bed. He smiles wide and hopes he doesn't look too panicked, because this picture is undoubtedly going to last for years in the Fabray-Hudson-Puckerman family.
As they sit there, Quinn leans in and kisses him on the cheek. He looks at her, surprised, and she just smiles at him tiredly. She leans her head on his shoulder and gently strokes the little patch of hair on her daughter's head. Unsure of what else he can do, he kisses her softly on the forehead and leans his own head against hers, as the boys start to argue in the background about who should go get some breakfast for the new mother.
Finn loses, apparently. He swears he'll be back as quickly as he can, and his mother goes with him because nobody is about to say no to some pancakes. Kurt hands Marie back off to Puck, and he and Quinn have their own little family moment that's kind of sickeningly sweet, for a couple that's not really a couple. When a nurse comes in to take the baby to the nursery, because both she and Quinn need their rest, Puck all but begs to bring her himself, so he can watch her for a little longer. "Say bye-bye to Mommy and Auntie Kurt!" he coos at her in the doorway. "You'll see them again after a nice, long nap."
Kurt is alone with Quinn for the first time that he can recall. He turns to her, one eyebrow arched in bemusement. "Auntie Kurt?"
Quinn tries not to giggle, but she's exhausted and doesn't do a very good job. "He started calling you that when we settled on Uncle Noah and it kind of stuck. Same with Uncle Rachel." She laughs again, putting her hand on top of his. "I'm sorry, it's not funny. It's so mean of us. We'll stop right away."
"I guess I don't mind that much," Kurt shrugs. He looks down at their hands as he gives hers a little squeeze. "I'm just honored you think I deserve to be an honorary anything."
Quinn gets control of her giggles, but keeps a warm smile. "Of course I do. You're Finn's..." She hesitates, and presses her lips together for a split second. "You're so close to the family, you deserve it."
Kurt's a little on edge now. If he didn't know better, he'd swear she was trying to say... She's still smiling at him, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.
Kurt starts to laugh. It's the kind of uncontrollable laugh that's mostly because he's nervous and makes him look like a crazy person. But that's perfect in this new crazy world he's apparently living in. He laughs so hard it starts to hurt, deep in his stomach, and he falls back onto the bed. If Quinn didn't look so panicked, he'd probably lay there for a long, long time.
Instead, he wipes the first hint of tears away from his eyes and sits up. "I'm sorry, did you just imply that you think Finn and I are... together?"
She's giving him that look again, the look she used to give him when she still thought he was a freak to his face. "Um... yes?"
He had no way to process this. It's completely absurd, incomprehensible, just weird. He's over tired and she just had a baby, for Christ's sake. There is no way this conversation is actually happening.
He tries again, hoping that Quinn will realize just how crazy she sounds. "... What?"
"Listen, I know you guys are trying to keep it quiet, but I do live with him." She reaches out and takes his hand again, forcing the smile back on her face.
"We're... You think... What?"
"You're kind of obvious."
"Quinn," he says to make sure he has her attention. He takes her free hand in his and looks deep into her eyes. "Finn is straight."
"Really, I don't mind!" She sounds enthusiastic, but her smile is starting to strain. "Finn and I are over. He's free to do whatever he wants. And if you make him happy, then-"
"I don't. Not like that. He's a friend, probably the only guy friend I've ever had, and I..." He has to look away, because he can't stand to see her judge him. "I care about him more than he'll ever understand. But we're not... like that."
Kurt stares at the floor and hopes that the sudden silence doesn't last long. His hands are starting to sweat but he can't make himself let go of the girl. He feels like this is some kind of important soul-baring moment and he needs to know that someone is there for him, even if she doesn't really understand.
"I see the way he looks at you," she whispers, and he forces himself to look her in the eye. She's no longer trying to hide behind the happy mask, but Kurt can't really tell what she's feeling. She just looks tired. "I've seen that look a lot. He used to look at me like that." She looks down at their still-linked hands. "When you went off with that kid at regionals, I thought he was going to murder somebody." She squeezes his hands tightly as she carefully chooses her words. "Whatever it is he feels, he feels it a lot. Which makes you part of this family."
Suddenly, she's in his face, poking his chest violently with one finger. Her eyes have welled with tears, but they are hard with resolve and a passion he's never seen in her before. "Do not hurt him," she hisses with careful emphasis. Kurt can do nothing but nod frantically.
Him. Hurt Finn.
Now that was a thought.
~*~
Mrs. Hudson decided to stay at the hospital until Quinn was ready to go home, so it's Kurt's job give Finn a ride. The sun was just coming up over the peaceful streets of Lima. It was going to be a beautiful day.
"She's gorgeous, isn't she?" Finn gushes for about the tenth time since they left the hospital.
Kurt doesn't try to stop the smile that spreads across his face, because that gushing is completely justified. "She really is," he agrees. "She just may be the only girl I ever fall in love with."
Finn hums his agreement. Kurt had always heard about a new mother's glow and how it made them look beautiful. He never thought the same thing could ever happen to the father. Especially when he wasn't really the father. But the smile hadn't left Finn's face, and there was a new light in his eyes, and Finn looked absolutely gorgeous. Fatherly pride suited him like it had suited no other man.
Kurt tries valiantly to shut his brain up as he pulls into the Hudson driveway. He shifts into park and leans back in his seat. "Here we are," he sighs. "Guess this is it for... awhile."
"What? Why?"
"You have a new baby, Finn," Kurt says like he should know this already. "Even with Quinn and Puck and your mom, you're not exactly going to have time to socialize."
Finn gaped at him in distress. The strange, fatherly, adult Finn had slipped back into the ether. "But... you're coming over when they bring her home, right?"
A swell of relief floods Kurt, and he lets out the breath he's been holding since he first got the call. "If you want me there."
"And you're gonna be over all the time to help us out, right?" He laughs a little, his panic gone as fast as it had appeared. "Someone's gotta make sure MJ grows up with some brains and some class. With me and Puck muscling our way in, Quinn's gonna need someone on her side."
"Of course."
"Then... what's the problem?"
"There isn't one," Kurt says, shaking his head. "I'm just an idiot sometimes."
"No, you're not. You're probably the smartest person I know." Finn reaches out and puts his hand on top of the Kurt's, on top of the gearshift. Their fingers naturally entwine. Kurt hopes his eyes aren't bugging out of his face. "Up until three hours ago, you were the most important thing in my life, more or less. And you're still pretty high up there. So don't think I'm just going to ditch you all of a sudden. I need someone to make sure all my shit's together."
He smiles gently, and Kurt's stomach flops like it hasn't in over a year. He can see it now, the look Quinn was talking about. It wasn't any different from how he looked at anything else, but it made Kurt's mouth dry, his heart race, his mind completely lose grip on reality. The little voice inside him, the one he had stamped down and ignored for so many years now, whispered that it really wouldn't be so hard to just lean over and kiss him.
It takes Kurt so long to decide to stop thinking and go for it, that Finn is already pulling his front door closed behind him. Kurt, alone in his car, screams every curse word he can think of and almost breaks a finger when he punches the steering wheel.
~*~
A few weeks pass before he tells Finn about his conversation with Quinn. Not the embarrassing parts, because that would just be awkward. No, just the part when she thinks they're secretly dating. Finn laughs so hard he squirts formula all over MJ's face. He tries to calm her through a stream of giggles that just seem to upset her more. Kurt has to take over until his friend calms himself, which really is a big deal, because he's wearing a new Armani blazer and if he ends up covered in spit-up again, he's likely to murder someone. Probably Puck.
That was the beginning of the Who Thinks We're Dating Game. Points were given out, which Kurt kept careful track of on his iPhone. There's talk of having awards at the end of the year. Finn gets surprisingly into it, dissecting every sentence uttered his way for innuendo. Kurt goes along with it, because apparently it's not awkward at all if they both think it's ridiculous.
Puck gets 2 points every time he calls them boyfriends. It's his new go-to insult. He doesn't really mean it, but, in his own words, "it's because you're both single and pathetic. And really gay for each other." In Kurt's opinion, he's just gotten lazy. He spends every moment he can with his daughter and no longer has the time or energy to be antagonistic. He's a kinder, gentler Puck, who washes the dishes when Quinn needs a nap, and drives MJ around town when it's three in the morning and she still can't sleep. Finn swears he's even written some lullaby’s to sing to her over the phone, but he makes everybody leave the room so he can't be certain. Even as a voice on the phone, nobody wants piss off Papa Bear.
And then there's the time at Tina's birthday party, which is the only full gathering of the glee kids that summer, and only because Finn's mom had to insist on some alone time with her quasi-granddaughter. They're all a little tipsy off the rum Rachel had stolen from her dads and the girls are all a little too loud as they try to upstage each other on Singstar. Puck casually pulls him aside and tells him that, despite him being a dick a lot of the time, he thinks Kurt is actually a pretty cool guy. And if his boy has to be a fairy, at least it's with someone like him. He doesn't get any points for that one, because that's a conversation that never happened, or Kurt loses his balls.
Mercedes, however, gets a well deserved 25 that night, for dragging Finn into the backyard and giving him the requisite best-friend-threat. It goes a lot like Kurt's conversation with Quinn, only Finn's a little bit scared of Mercedes, more-so when she's drunk, and he has to stay outside for a few extra minutes so he doesn't start crying. Kurt gives her a bonus 10 for that.
Rachel spends far too much time at the Hudson's for an ex-girlfriend, stopping by to lend Quinn her baby tap shoes and making sure the music selections of the house are well rounded and include enough show tunes. Quinn reminds her that Marie is five weeks old, but Rachel says that she is proof that you can never be too young to start your rise to stardom. That's usually when someone intervenes, asking Rachel what her plans are for glee next year or getting Quinn to help make lunch. Anything to stop the cat fight that's brewing.
Before she leaves, she'll pull Finn into a hug and tell him that she's glad he's so happy now. It's just vague enough to make him kind of uncomfortable but not earn her any points. If Kurt's around, he gets a hug too, and reassurance that she does not hold any kind of grudge. 5 points, every time.
Brittany gets 50 points in one go, by asking Kurt if he and Finn want to double with her and Santana. Kurt tries to take her aside and calmly explain that they're just friends and that Finn is straight. Brittany stares at him vacantly for a few minutes, then tells him that that's okay, because Santana is also straight, and she won't know it's a date either. Kurt gives her another 20 points and a hug.
In the lead by far, to Kurt's eternal red-faced chagrin, is his father. Every day, he'll stop him from talking about his time spent at Finn's, saying he doesn’t "need to know the details, kid." He'll call Kurt at awkward times to make sure he's where he said he'd be, and that "nothing funny's happening." If Finn's over, his father makes him keep the door to his room open, and will constantly stick his head down to check up on them. If Finn stays for dinner, he actually has them all sit at the kitchen table and will grill the boy about school and his plans for the future and if he's even been in trouble with the police and just how responsible is he with that baby? Finn thinks it's all hilarious, because even Mr. Fabray with his mind constantly on his daughter's virtue hadn't been this intense with him. Of course, he's not the one who found a box of condoms in his bathroom which Kurt refuses to touch because that would acknowledge that they're real and that his father actually thought of that kind of thing and actually maybe approves a little, and Kurt just can't handle that.
Finn's mom doesn't get any points, because Kurt likes her too much to make her part of their stupid game. She's one of the few people he knows that is actually interested when she asks how his day is going. She makes sure that he has enough to eat and gives him extra to take home to his father and is always sure to thank him for being there for the baby before he goes home. Whenever they get quite moments alone, when the others are being stupid over the baby and Kurt feels too much of an outsider to join in, she'll smile at him warmly and ask him if he thinks her son is honestly happy. Kurt is always struck that he's the one she asks about something so important to her. He always gives her an extra-tight hug and tells her that, yeah, he thinks he is.
~*~
Quinn never gets any points. Not that she doesn't deserve them sometimes, because she'll say stuff, just like everybody, that Finn immediately jumps on as point-worthy. Kurt never bothers to add them, though, because he knows, he knows, that in a few seconds she'll do something that will just negate them. A hand on his arm while she laughs at one of his jokes. A shared look held too long. Kissing him on the cheek for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
Not that Kurt really cares, beyond his score keeping. If she wants to try and win Finn back, that's her business. He's certainly not jealous, of course, just because they live together and are raising a baby together and Finn was intensely in love with her at one point. Besides, he knows Finn is smarter than that.
But just in case, because Kurt knows that it's safest to not overestimate Finn's intelligence, he decides to warn him. As a friend. Even though he's not jealous.
"What?" is Finn's ever eloquent response. He's concentrating on being gentle with MJ as he pats her back, trying to coax her to burp. She's been gurgling contentedly at the dishwasher for the past ten minutes.
"Quinn wants you back," Kurt states matter-of-factly from his perch on the kitchen counter. He's borrowed one of Finn's old t-shirts and is ready with the spit up cloth, a lesson he's learned well over the past month.
"What? I mean, I heard you, but why would you think that?" Finn swings around to face him, which earns him a delighted squeal from the girl in his arms.
"I think it has something to do with my having eyes," Kurt says with a raised brow.
"Dude, you're crazy. That's my girl!" The shift in tone is jarring and really kind of adorable. He doesn't even try to stop grinning anymore. "Big burps for big dinner!"
"Will you put Mary Jo down and just listen for a second?" Kurt tries to keep his stern face on as Finn straps the baby into her carrier. As cute as fatherly Finn (always) is, there was a time to be turn into a giant girl and a time to be serious.
"I am listening and you're crazy," Finn says as he starts to play with the girl's toes. "I live with her. I think I'd know if she was trying to win me back."
"Well, exactly, you're too close," Kurt says as he tosses the rag at Finn's head. "One second, you're helping fold laundry, the next, you can't find your underwear and MJ's got a little brother on the way."
"Listen to Uncle Kurt, being so silly," Finn coos down to the girl, wiping some drool off her face with the rag. He straightens up and faces his friend. "Really, you don't know what you're talking about. Quinn and I are never getting back together."
"You say that now-"
"Because I mean it. 'Cuz, maybe, I've actually kind of thought about it." He shakes his head a little, trying to organize his thoughts. "Puck would kill me, for one. He's been trying way too hard to stay on her good side for her to just turn to me all of a sudden. For another..." He sighs and leans back over the baby, tickling her stomach. "Getting back together means we might break up. And if we do that, then I might have to say goodbye to this little thing, and I just can't do that, can I?" Even with the high-pitched baby voice, Kurt is struck by how unbelievably sad the sentiment is. He's beginning to regret ever bringing it up.
"For another-" Finn continues, but stops short. Stops completely, still hunched over the baby but no longer playing with her. He's frozen for a minute before standing up and looking at Kurt with an intensity that he's never seen before. It makes him feel like he should maybe run away, though he can't really put a finger on why. He just knows that that would be a very, very bad idea.
They stay like that, just looking at each other, for what feels like hours before Finn finally clears his throat and finishes his thought. "For another, I'm kind of already seeing somebody."
Oh. Well, that was new. Kurt briefly wonders how he missed it, if maybe all those visits from Rachel weren't so random after all, but Finn's starting to smile sheepishly and it makes the bottom of his stomach drop out.
"So, uh... how many points do you think I should get for that one?"
It's all Kurt can do to keep himself breathing. Despite Finn's continued embarrassed grinning, he just can't seem to find the humor in the situation. "That's not funny," he whispers, because that's all he can manage
Finn's face falters slightly and he takes a step forward. And Kurt is suddenly very aware that he is now trapped, sitting on the countertop with his best friend's stomach pressed against his knees. "I wasn't trying to be," Finn says. His face softens, his smile is gentle, and he slowly reaches out and touches Kurt's chin.
Kurt never imagined that the sound of a baby crying would be such a relief. He silently thanks whatever deity that's watching over him for making the world's best behaved baby scream like that, because Finn's stepped out of his personal space and is busy picking up the distressed creature and trying to reassure her that, whatever it was, he could fix it. Kurt takes the opportunity to get to his feet and make sure he has a clear path to the exit.
"Don't worry, Mama's here," Quinn coos as she swoops in from literally nowhere, as far as Kurt can tell. She takes her daughter from the fumbling boy and kisses her cheek and holds her close. "Mama's here and I'm gonna make it all better." She shoots a pointed look at both the boys. "And Uncle Finn and Uncle Kurt are going to go somewhere and finish their conversation before I kill them both for being so frustrating."
"I think I'm just gonna head home, it's late," Kurt mutters as he sprints for the door. He's outside before there can be any reply. The sticky, humid July air makes him all too aware that he's still wearing Finn's shirt, and that his own clothes are inside. With his bag. And his keys.
Suddenly exhausted, he sits on the front stairs and holds his head between his knees. He's had plenty of reasons to think that the universe hates him, but this tops them all. Games aside, watching the man he loved with his daughter, seeing the absolute joy that takes over his face as he holds her, had been the final push he needed to let him go. There were just some things that Finn obviously needed that Kurt would never be able to give him and, honestly, he had been fine with that. He had been ready to finally stop mooning and scour the Cheerios for the closet cases and move on. But now, now there was the slightest hint of a possibility of hope and Kurt was spiraling right back into love.
Kurt Hummel: Cosmic Joke.
He hears the door open behind him, senses the presence that sits beside him. Finn doesn't say anything, just sits there in silence. Waiting. And after a long time, Kurt gathers everything inside of him and looks up, definitely not crying, and looks into his eyes. "I'm over you."
Later, Quinn will tell them about the bet among the rest of the glee club. Everyone else had chosen to be subtle about it, except Brittany, who had her own genius plans. Quinn had gone the jealousy route, because it was not only affective, but had the added bonus of driving Puck crazy.
Weeks later, Finn will tell him how it all started. Way before bottles and diapers and forming a big, dysfunctional family, before the insanity of regionals and the roller coaster that was dating Rachel Berry, there was a boy who saw the real Finn Hudson. There was driving to the middle of nowhere to sing and late night phone calls and being able to tell each other when they were being idiots. There was a spark, which, like any red blooded teenage boy brought up in the middle of Ohio, Finn had ignored, stamped down into the very bottom of himself so he could say that it was gone, but it still burned just a little. And after he'd finally allowed it to grow, it had taken over him in a way he had never expected
He'll tell him about how whenever he imagines Marie growing up, Kurt is always there. He's the one who buys the dress for her first day of school. He's the one who makes sure she's still gorgeous when she wakes up with a huge zit of photo day. When Finn is threatening her first date, Kurt is beside him, looking threatening and sometimes holding a knife. Kurt will tear up, just a little, and immediately find something else for Finn to do with his mouth so he’ll just shut up already. Later that day, Burt Hummel will come home to find his son's door closed, and he will stop himself from bursting into the room so see just what's going on down there and instead start on a new list of questions for that Hudson boy.
In about twelve seconds, Puck will pull into the driveway and start to laugh. He'll then make a big production out of trying to go around them and get the door open when they're sitting in front of it, but they won't even notice.
But right now, the sun is going down and the streetlights are just starting to go on and Finn is taking Kurt's face in his hands. After an agonizingly long time of just looking at him, he leans forward and presses their lips together. The kiss is soft and gentle and holds the promise for so much more. It says everything that Finn wants to say but can't figure out how, and it makes Kurt's blood sing.
For the first time in a long time, Kurt Hummel loves the world.
~FIN~
Edit 8-19-10
Thank you to everyone who voted at the glee_fic_awards! I'm really touched that this monster that ate my braaaaain resonated with so many people. Or, enough people. Same diff. :D