(no subject)
I came across this post today by Michael ftmichael and thought I'd do a list like that for my own. Please see Michael's list for disclaimer and all that. I'm doing this more like a fact list, instead of a "my story" thing, and it's not modified for anyone's approval for what my thoughts are. Kind of a "get to know me better" thing? Feel free to change it to post it on your own site. (Yes, I'm turning it into one of those things.)
- I was not aware of the difference in genders as a kid. I did not identify as a girl, and I did not identify as a boy, I was not left out of any boys groups for being a girl. I did attempt to do everything the other boys did even when dressed in my frilly dresses.
- I have not doubted my being an FTM ever since I found out about it.
- I have, and still at times, identify as a lesbian. I cannot deny ever having been female, and that my body is still female, and hence I am still in part a lesbian. I have never been part of any lesbian community in the U.S. though.
- I denied my attraction to girls when younger, before I knew about FTMs, because I did not want to be "weird" (Yes, I was homophobic, it was the way I was taught). I have never gone out with a single boy though, despite my denial. I have attraction to girls much more often than I have to boys, but none of my meatspace friends know that my sexual preferance is pan. (They all think I am either a straight guy or a lesbian girl, which I have never bothered to clarify much as long as they refer to me by male pronouns. (My friends are all Asians and know nothing of FTMs, but as long as they respect me and my wishes, I'm ok.)
- I knew I was an FTM the instant I found out what being FTM was. I have known about transexuals for a long time, but never knew it went the other way. (Call me sheltered) I do not remember the exact instance that I came across FTM stuff, but I know I was searching for butch lesbian related stuff. I had just come out as butch for barely half a year before finding out about FTMs.
- I have been out as FTM for about 5 years before getting to start on T. There is a variety of reasons, including money, family, girlfriend, transportation, and laziness. I had discussed with my girlfriend and she was against me starting T for a variety of health and other reasons. She was still against me when I finally started, but I told her that it was important to me, and that I know we'd weather through it.
- I identify as male. I am currently in my "as male as can be" phase to assert my maleness on those who have known me long enough not to see my changes. I do not think anyone should have to do this though, and I think it's perfectly fine for FTMs to identify as queer or act flamboyantly gay, as long as it makes them happy and they wish to do so. I just am not secure enough in my own masculinity. I do at times wish I was born biologically a male, but am appreciative of my trans status as well.
- I have been on T for about 1 year and 4 months, and I am still not out to my parents. They have not even questioned me. I do not live with them, but I see them about once every 3 months, and talk to them on the phone every month or so. It has been decided that my parents are in denial, but I have no desire to let them know as I am in fear of ruining our relationship.