wow just wow

[zedoreon]

relay for life was such a huge thing for me.

I have never experienced anything like it before.

at first it was just kind of hanging out, eating junk food and walking every now and then.

when they started the ceremony I knew everyone was gonna be all sad and stuff and didn't think it would affect me as much as it did..

I didn't even think that much of it when they started playing the first song cause the only place I've heard it is as a theme song for this one cheesey show.

but then everyone started crying and I was solely concerned with trying to console Jessica and Ashley as much as I could.

And when I saw shayna bawling up front where I couldn't reach her or do anything to help her, that's when I started to truly hurt.

I started crying and hurting more than I could ever remember.

it tore me up so so much to see all the people that I cared about most in the world hurting so much.

I've never lost anyone and I was always amazed at how strong and brave the people are that I know who have lost loved ones.

now I just have an extremely overwhelming respect for all of you.

I don't think I could ever be as strong as you all.

I cried so much last night. I think as much as if not more than everyone else and whenever I hugged anyone I never wanted to let go.

I realized that I have no idea what I would do if I lost any of you.

you are the ones that keep me going and I love you all so so much.

I will always be here for you whenever you need me
when ever

I also promised myself that I would start giving everyone hugs.
real hugs, not wimpy little hugs
so hugs for everyone

well I'm going to go
be well everyone