NOW I MOST DEFINITELY HATE MYSELF!!!

[zede]

I don't know what to feel anymore... I miss Emi-chan so much... But here's Amy who's been there to cheer me up. She's one of the coolest navy chicks I know. Its very unusual that she's not shallow like the rest of them navy sluts. She's not that type at all... She's not hard to approach, she's very polite and I can see mself, or what used to be myself, in her and she's been in longer than I have. She's learning how to play the guitar too...
I don't know what it is with me and girls who can play the guitar...

I talked to Emi-chan earlier this afternoon right after muster... I miss her so much yet I can't tell her how I feel. She's been nothing but truthful to me yet I can't be anything but an asshole to her. I told her what's going on and she thanked me for being truthful... I can tell she cried. I can't believe how much I've changed. I can no longer see me as who I was... Now I'm currupted beyond recognition. I swear like its normal, I look at females and judge them by how they look, I've had a couple of Long Island Iced Tea... How crazy can I get, I yell at people for being stupid now, I'm no longer THAT timid, I actually get into fights, I can still keep a promise but its been shaken... I hate myself evenmore...

I need to go home! I need to see the poeple I care the most! My family, My "Oceana" friends, My cuzzies! I miss you all! I need your help and support! I'm falling apart...

I'm falling apart...