From the Boston Legal transcripts
You'll see why getting the DVDs leaped to the top of my to-do list.
Season 5, Episode 1: Smoke Signals
[From the "balcony scene" at the end of the episode, after a woman Alan loved has said goodbye to him in the courtroom]
Denny: You still have me.
Alan: It's not quite the same. But you know what, Denny? Sometimes it comes remarkably close. What you said to me about being undead in the courtroom… it's not lost on me how lucky I am to have somebody in my life who can… I don't know what I'd do without you.
Season 4, Episode 16: The Mighty Rogues
[In court]
AAG Jeremy Hollis: To allow assisted suicide is to say that life itself has no intrinsic value. No sanctity.
Alan Shore: Oh baloney! I'm saying Walter Schmidt's life in its current state has no intrinsic value. He lies in his bed with no apparent capacity to discern or think. His days have devolved into a horrible cycle of soiling his bed sheets and screaming incoherently at the very touch of the nurse who cleans him. His life is a misery. I'm sorry, there is no sanctity in that. I don't care what…
[He leans over the table to compose himself.] I'm sorry. My best friend has Alzheimer's. In the very early stages, it hasn't… He is a grand lover of life, and will be for some time. I believe even when his mind starts to really go he'll still fish, he'll laugh, and love. And as it progresses he'll still want to live because there'll be value for him in a friendship, in a cigar. The truth is, I don't think he'll ever come to me and say, "This is the day I want to die." But the day is coming. And he won't know it. This is perhaps the most insidious thing about Alzheimer's. But you see, he trusts me to know when that day has arrived. He trusts me to safeguard his dignity, his legacy and self-respect. He trusts me to prevent his end from becoming a mindless piece of mush. And I will. It will be an unbearably painful thing for me but I will do it because I love him. I will end his suffering. Because it's the only decent, humane, and loving thing a person can do.
[Later on the balcony]
Denny: I saw my future, Alan, when I went to see him. I saw what lies ahead for me.
Alan: That's not what lies ahead for you. Like the doctor said, you smoke, you drink, you play with loaded firearms. You'll go before the Mad Cow can get you.
Denny Crane: I was in the courtroom today, I heard your closing.
[A long pause]
Alan Shore: Oh.
Denny: When the day comes, if it comes, we should go to Oregon where it's legal. They got some great steelhead runs in Oregon. We could fish the mighty Rogue. It's only fitting. I mean, I am the mighty Rogue when you think about it.
Alan Shore: Yes, you are.
Denny Crane: What a way to check out. Scotch in one hand, a steelhead in the other. And in your hands…would be me. If I could make that deal with God I'd do so right now.
Alan Shore: That's only because if you could delay death until you were finally able to catch a steelhead you'd outlive us all. I'm sorry, but you're a lousy fisherman. It needed to be said.
Denny Crane: I know what you're doing! You're trying to change the subject.
Alan Shore: Denny, if you were in that courtroom, you saw how difficult it was for me to think of you dying. I'd just like to enjoy my scotch and not have to think of it now. So just sit there with your cigar, if you don't mind, and blow smoke. It's what you're best at.
Denny Crane: Fine.
Alan Shore: Fine.
Denny Crane: You don't have to be so huffy about it.
Alan Shore: I had a day.
From Season 3, Episode 9: On The Ledge
Denny Crane: Don’t talk to me.
Alan Shore: It’s not like I went fishing with him.
Denny Crane: And don’t make fun of me. I don’t know whether you know this, but not many men take the time every day to have a cigar, a glass of scotch, to talk to their best friend. That’s not something most men have.
Alan Shore: No, it isn’t.
Denny Crane: What I give to you, what-what I share, I do with no one else. I like to think what you give to me, you do with nobody else. Now that-that may sound silly to you, but here’s what I think is silly-the idea that jealousy or fidelity is reserved for romance. I always suspected that there was a connection between you and that man. That you got something you didn’t get from me.
Alan Shore: I probably do. But gosh, what I get from you, Denny... People walk around today calling everyone their best friend. The term doesn’t have any real meaning anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or at most third meeting. Birthday cards get passed around offices so everybody can scribble a snippet of sentimentality for a colleague they’ve barely met. And everyone just loves everyone. As a result, when you tell somebody you love them today, it isn’t much heard. I love you, Denny. You are my best friend. I can’t imagine going through life without you as my best friend.
(I'm not actually on board with the jealousy stuff, but the rest of it is great!)
Transcripts from most of the episodes are available here.
Warning for Alzheimer's references in the second one
Season 5, Episode 1: Smoke Signals
[From the "balcony scene" at the end of the episode, after a woman Alan loved has said goodbye to him in the courtroom]
Denny: You still have me.
Alan: It's not quite the same. But you know what, Denny? Sometimes it comes remarkably close. What you said to me about being undead in the courtroom… it's not lost on me how lucky I am to have somebody in my life who can… I don't know what I'd do without you.
Season 4, Episode 16: The Mighty Rogues
[In court]
AAG Jeremy Hollis: To allow assisted suicide is to say that life itself has no intrinsic value. No sanctity.
Alan Shore: Oh baloney! I'm saying Walter Schmidt's life in its current state has no intrinsic value. He lies in his bed with no apparent capacity to discern or think. His days have devolved into a horrible cycle of soiling his bed sheets and screaming incoherently at the very touch of the nurse who cleans him. His life is a misery. I'm sorry, there is no sanctity in that. I don't care what…
[He leans over the table to compose himself.] I'm sorry. My best friend has Alzheimer's. In the very early stages, it hasn't… He is a grand lover of life, and will be for some time. I believe even when his mind starts to really go he'll still fish, he'll laugh, and love. And as it progresses he'll still want to live because there'll be value for him in a friendship, in a cigar. The truth is, I don't think he'll ever come to me and say, "This is the day I want to die." But the day is coming. And he won't know it. This is perhaps the most insidious thing about Alzheimer's. But you see, he trusts me to know when that day has arrived. He trusts me to safeguard his dignity, his legacy and self-respect. He trusts me to prevent his end from becoming a mindless piece of mush. And I will. It will be an unbearably painful thing for me but I will do it because I love him. I will end his suffering. Because it's the only decent, humane, and loving thing a person can do.
[Later on the balcony]
Denny: I saw my future, Alan, when I went to see him. I saw what lies ahead for me.
Alan: That's not what lies ahead for you. Like the doctor said, you smoke, you drink, you play with loaded firearms. You'll go before the Mad Cow can get you.
Denny Crane: I was in the courtroom today, I heard your closing.
[A long pause]
Alan Shore: Oh.
Denny: When the day comes, if it comes, we should go to Oregon where it's legal. They got some great steelhead runs in Oregon. We could fish the mighty Rogue. It's only fitting. I mean, I am the mighty Rogue when you think about it.
Alan Shore: Yes, you are.
Denny Crane: What a way to check out. Scotch in one hand, a steelhead in the other. And in your hands…would be me. If I could make that deal with God I'd do so right now.
Alan Shore: That's only because if you could delay death until you were finally able to catch a steelhead you'd outlive us all. I'm sorry, but you're a lousy fisherman. It needed to be said.
Denny Crane: I know what you're doing! You're trying to change the subject.
Alan Shore: Denny, if you were in that courtroom, you saw how difficult it was for me to think of you dying. I'd just like to enjoy my scotch and not have to think of it now. So just sit there with your cigar, if you don't mind, and blow smoke. It's what you're best at.
Denny Crane: Fine.
Alan Shore: Fine.
Denny Crane: You don't have to be so huffy about it.
Alan Shore: I had a day.
From Season 3, Episode 9: On The Ledge
Denny Crane: Don’t talk to me.
Alan Shore: It’s not like I went fishing with him.
Denny Crane: And don’t make fun of me. I don’t know whether you know this, but not many men take the time every day to have a cigar, a glass of scotch, to talk to their best friend. That’s not something most men have.
Alan Shore: No, it isn’t.
Denny Crane: What I give to you, what-what I share, I do with no one else. I like to think what you give to me, you do with nobody else. Now that-that may sound silly to you, but here’s what I think is silly-the idea that jealousy or fidelity is reserved for romance. I always suspected that there was a connection between you and that man. That you got something you didn’t get from me.
Alan Shore: I probably do. But gosh, what I get from you, Denny... People walk around today calling everyone their best friend. The term doesn’t have any real meaning anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or at most third meeting. Birthday cards get passed around offices so everybody can scribble a snippet of sentimentality for a colleague they’ve barely met. And everyone just loves everyone. As a result, when you tell somebody you love them today, it isn’t much heard. I love you, Denny. You are my best friend. I can’t imagine going through life without you as my best friend.
(I'm not actually on board with the jealousy stuff, but the rest of it is great!)
Transcripts from most of the episodes are available here.
Warning for Alzheimer's references in the second one