Battering Ram by astolat
Battering Ram A short but really stunning post-apocalyptic story. Sam/Dean, not explicit, 5K words.
Like most people, I love astolat's writing, and I think one of the best things that can happen to a person is to get into a fandom she's written in (34 Supernatural stories! Whoo!), but most of her writing is just a shade sweeter or fluffier than it would be if it were written to my exact specifications. This particular story, however, pretty much matches my exact specifications. It also leaves me with Meatloaf in my head for days afterwards, which I don't mind at all! (I've just now noticed that it was written for a Meatloaf-prompt challenge.)
I love the idea of Sam and Dean staying on the road in these different circumstances, doing a meaningful job very competently, taking only what they need and relying only on each other.
And they were still warriors, even though their personal war was over, both of them hardened in a way most people can't understand even in these days when life is hard for everyone.
It's moving to see them get some recognition for what they do - something that's all too rare in canon.
Despite loving the story so much, however, I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to think about the Sam/Dean part of Sam and Dean's seamless partnership in it. Or maybe - and I'm a little unwilling to admit this, because I find ambiguity kind of annoying as a rule - that's partly why I love it: it keeps me coming back to try to nail it down.
I think they've definitely had sex before, but perhaps not very often and without letting it become a major part of their relationship. I don't get the impression they did anything other than sleep when they were holed up in the abandoned house, and I'm pretty sure Dean just meant sleep when he thought, in this heart-wrenching line that shows just how close and co-dependent they are: He wasn't going to be able to sleep, not alone, so he spent the night sitting on the hood of the Impala while Sam was with the girl from Fredonia.
On the other hand, there's this, when they're eating in the barn with the townspeople: Sam grins at him unsympathetically from across the table and reaches out to rub his thumb across the back of Dean's wrist, which dampens down the back-of-the-room enthusiasm really quick. Normally I'd think that was meant to show a somewhat exclusive relationship, but in this case it seems like Sam's doing it mostly for tactical reasons, to avoid them getting into any trouble with the local men.
They definitely don't have an exclusive relationship:
...he's learned the hard way that he's still too good-looking to look at the local girls without the local guys deciding he's got something in mind. Which is fair enough, since he damn well would have something in mind, if it wasn't the quickest route to a fight.
Then there's a knock on the door, and he opens it to find a young woman standing outside with a bunch of towels and a smile. Sam props himself up on his elbow, and Dean thinks oh yeah and wonders if he can talk her into giving them both a turn...
In the bathhouse towards the end, there's this wonderful scene:
Sam can't help smiling over at him, soft-eyed and happy, and Dean reaches out and tugs on his long shaggy hair. Then he swallows and deliberately, slowly, runs his hand down Sam's arm and laces their fingers together. Sam's hand curls up around his, and Sam rubs his thumb over Dean's hand gently. That feels good, too, and Dean thinks maybe he's been scared of the wrong things for a while now, trying to hold on to the last of what he knew. "Hey," he says. "In the morning, you think-you know, long as we've got this bed-"
Sam's hand tightens, and he shivers. "Okay," he says, hoarsely.
Dean thinks maybe he's been scared of the wrong things for a while now, trying to hold on to the last of what he knew surely means that for whatever reason, he and perhaps also Sam have held back from getting even more physically and emotionally involved. Sex can't be something they do too often, or there wouldn't be a question about doing it in the unusually comfortable circumstances of a king-sized bed. They've been patrolling for three years at this point, quite a long time. Mostly platonically? Having somewhat regular sex that they didn't acknowledge as meaning as much as they could have? Did the author want me to be uncertain on this point or is it meant to be fairly clear? I don't know and I wish I did!
If you've read it, I'd be interested in your thoughts!
Like most people, I love astolat's writing, and I think one of the best things that can happen to a person is to get into a fandom she's written in (34 Supernatural stories! Whoo!), but most of her writing is just a shade sweeter or fluffier than it would be if it were written to my exact specifications. This particular story, however, pretty much matches my exact specifications. It also leaves me with Meatloaf in my head for days afterwards, which I don't mind at all! (I've just now noticed that it was written for a Meatloaf-prompt challenge.)
I love the idea of Sam and Dean staying on the road in these different circumstances, doing a meaningful job very competently, taking only what they need and relying only on each other.
And they were still warriors, even though their personal war was over, both of them hardened in a way most people can't understand even in these days when life is hard for everyone.
It's moving to see them get some recognition for what they do - something that's all too rare in canon.
Despite loving the story so much, however, I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to think about the Sam/Dean part of Sam and Dean's seamless partnership in it. Or maybe - and I'm a little unwilling to admit this, because I find ambiguity kind of annoying as a rule - that's partly why I love it: it keeps me coming back to try to nail it down.
I think they've definitely had sex before, but perhaps not very often and without letting it become a major part of their relationship. I don't get the impression they did anything other than sleep when they were holed up in the abandoned house, and I'm pretty sure Dean just meant sleep when he thought, in this heart-wrenching line that shows just how close and co-dependent they are: He wasn't going to be able to sleep, not alone, so he spent the night sitting on the hood of the Impala while Sam was with the girl from Fredonia.
On the other hand, there's this, when they're eating in the barn with the townspeople: Sam grins at him unsympathetically from across the table and reaches out to rub his thumb across the back of Dean's wrist, which dampens down the back-of-the-room enthusiasm really quick. Normally I'd think that was meant to show a somewhat exclusive relationship, but in this case it seems like Sam's doing it mostly for tactical reasons, to avoid them getting into any trouble with the local men.
They definitely don't have an exclusive relationship:
...he's learned the hard way that he's still too good-looking to look at the local girls without the local guys deciding he's got something in mind. Which is fair enough, since he damn well would have something in mind, if it wasn't the quickest route to a fight.
Then there's a knock on the door, and he opens it to find a young woman standing outside with a bunch of towels and a smile. Sam props himself up on his elbow, and Dean thinks oh yeah and wonders if he can talk her into giving them both a turn...
In the bathhouse towards the end, there's this wonderful scene:
Sam can't help smiling over at him, soft-eyed and happy, and Dean reaches out and tugs on his long shaggy hair. Then he swallows and deliberately, slowly, runs his hand down Sam's arm and laces their fingers together. Sam's hand curls up around his, and Sam rubs his thumb over Dean's hand gently. That feels good, too, and Dean thinks maybe he's been scared of the wrong things for a while now, trying to hold on to the last of what he knew. "Hey," he says. "In the morning, you think-you know, long as we've got this bed-"
Sam's hand tightens, and he shivers. "Okay," he says, hoarsely.
Dean thinks maybe he's been scared of the wrong things for a while now, trying to hold on to the last of what he knew surely means that for whatever reason, he and perhaps also Sam have held back from getting even more physically and emotionally involved. Sex can't be something they do too often, or there wouldn't be a question about doing it in the unusually comfortable circumstances of a king-sized bed. They've been patrolling for three years at this point, quite a long time. Mostly platonically? Having somewhat regular sex that they didn't acknowledge as meaning as much as they could have? Did the author want me to be uncertain on this point or is it meant to be fairly clear? I don't know and I wish I did!
If you've read it, I'd be interested in your thoughts!