--031
[PRIVATE]; Not hackable to students or Thobari. More than likely hackable to those who know about her and Thobari. Strikes are not hackable.
Barely staying in the room hasn't made me feel better. I'm still nervous, anxious around him and I don't know why. And I can't just leave. Despite the lectures and how they've been dragging on, I'm learning and also refreshing on things I know. I can't turn that down not to mention how bad it would look if I just left the retreat before it ends.
Ironically, every night, we've been having small talk before we sleep. He's been initiating it; to be civil I guess. I don't mind, but the more we talk and the more I see him, the heavier I feel. I'm afraid I may break under the pressure and I cannot have that happen.
I need to fix this.
Barely staying in the room hasn't made me feel better. I'm still nervous, anxious around him and I don't know why. And I can't just leave. Despite the lectures and how they've been dragging on, I'm learning and also refreshing on things I know. I can't turn that down not to mention how bad it would look if I just left the retreat before it ends.
Ironically, every night, we've been having small talk before we sleep. He's been initiating it; to be civil I guess. I don't mind, but the more we talk and the more I see him, the heavier I feel. I'm afraid I may break under the pressure and I cannot have that happen.
I need to fix this.