[Private] Selfish Parenthood.
Having had time to process and discuss things (and allow the hangover to fade), I have come to terms with this joyous occasion that is sweeping through my family. I may not agree with it and it may bring me some discomfort, but I can recognize that it is something that makes Louise and my father happy, even if the happiness of the latter may be at the prospect of raising a child more like him rather than the liberal jackass that was his first son.
Parenthood is a selfish thing. As I mentioned to Victor, this is no surprise. All human motives are selfish at their core. I am, as a human, a selfish being. I realize this. As much as I strive not to be selfish, I find it is a futile effort. It would be like trying to not be made of flesh. Everyone is selfish, no matter how charitable. It is a matter of how one uses this selfishness that makes an admirable person or a vile person. A giving individual might donate to charity and thus gain a sense of accomplishment and well-being for having put forth that effort; a greedy individual might rob senior citizens of their savings in order to supplement their own desire for wealth.
A parent is no different. Whether they bring a child into the world in order to satisfy their own biological urges, or to counter loneliness, or because of a mistake, or because they want their legacy to continue, or because they want to further the species, it is a selfish act. Many parents raise their children selfishly as well, and these are the individuals who should never be parents. These are the individuals who look at children as small mirrors rather than the unique beings they are and will grow to be. They raise their children with the intention of creating others like themselves: socialists, liberals, conservatives, fascists, feminists, racists, deists, theists, atheists, agnostics, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Mormons, Brits, French, American, Indian, Russian, Chinese, Japanese, Australian, sports fans, NASCAR fans, fans of theatre, fans of metal, fans of punk, reggae, pop.
Because I recognize this latent desire to shape offspring in my own image (making the Christian god the most selfish of all "parents"), I know I would never be a good parent. I'm glad Mary agrees with me in the matter of ever having children, however loosely we've even discussed it. Besides, I could never put someone I love through such a thing as carrying and giving birth to a child. Even with today's modern medicine, things can go horribly awry -- as has been demonstrated by the passing of Mary's own mother. And hopefully that will not be the case for Louise.
Parenthood is a selfish thing. As I mentioned to Victor, this is no surprise. All human motives are selfish at their core. I am, as a human, a selfish being. I realize this. As much as I strive not to be selfish, I find it is a futile effort. It would be like trying to not be made of flesh. Everyone is selfish, no matter how charitable. It is a matter of how one uses this selfishness that makes an admirable person or a vile person. A giving individual might donate to charity and thus gain a sense of accomplishment and well-being for having put forth that effort; a greedy individual might rob senior citizens of their savings in order to supplement their own desire for wealth.
A parent is no different. Whether they bring a child into the world in order to satisfy their own biological urges, or to counter loneliness, or because of a mistake, or because they want their legacy to continue, or because they want to further the species, it is a selfish act. Many parents raise their children selfishly as well, and these are the individuals who should never be parents. These are the individuals who look at children as small mirrors rather than the unique beings they are and will grow to be. They raise their children with the intention of creating others like themselves: socialists, liberals, conservatives, fascists, feminists, racists, deists, theists, atheists, agnostics, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Mormons, Brits, French, American, Indian, Russian, Chinese, Japanese, Australian, sports fans, NASCAR fans, fans of theatre, fans of metal, fans of punk, reggae, pop.
Because I recognize this latent desire to shape offspring in my own image (making the Christian god the most selfish of all "parents"), I know I would never be a good parent. I'm glad Mary agrees with me in the matter of ever having children, however loosely we've even discussed it. Besides, I could never put someone I love through such a thing as carrying and giving birth to a child. Even with today's modern medicine, things can go horribly awry -- as has been demonstrated by the passing of Mary's own mother. And hopefully that will not be the case for Louise.