I'm rather nervous
I'm moving in with my boyfriend Danny today.
Yesterday was odd though. He drank one beer and started crying about how much he loved me. It was sweet but honestly it scared me at first. I really thought he was drunk but Adrian (Danny's roommate) said he wasn't.
Danny offered me a sip of his beer and though I was tempted I quickly shook my head, no. He responded by saying I'm a 'good girl'.
Oh but when he was crying he was saying that 'I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him and he loves me and to never leave him and that he would definately marry me.' So sweet, but I told him he doesn't need to be dizzy from a beer to tell me this. He could always tell me right upfront, I wouldn't mind. ^^
Danny later calmed down and we cuddled together until I had to leave. Adrian and I chatted some, I kinda felt bad because I was talking so much. He's a very cool person, all of them are actually.
So anyway, when I called home my sister thought I was 'drugged' but I told her I was groggy and tired and that I was lying on Danny's bony hip and that was pressing into my jaw to prevent me from sounding decent. She didn't seem to believe me cause when she called back she was actually suprised I sounded awake.
So yeah, like said, I'm moving in with them today.
A sister from church (who I thought I could trust) said the church would be completely against my decision and that I should talk to the Bishop. I refused, it feels like the bishop (though he does care) has so many people to visit with that he tells me his advice and then quickly says goodbye.
Honestly, I'm starting to have a different feeling toward organized religion. I love my church but there are many things that could be improved on. *cough*themembersthemselves*cough*
What sucks is that they will probably ex-communicate (my greatest fear) me from my church but when I try and leave they quickly change the subject and don't give me a chance. I'm probably better off getting baptized in another religion. Though they will call and pester me a lot.
But, I'm happy with Danny, Adrian, Noel(sp), and Miguelina. Usually when I'm at church the feeling lasts a day and then it's gone. I just don't feel that's right.
And if they get in the way of my love life that's basically crossed the line. They want me to marry a good mormon boy but how can I if none of them freakin' asks me out?! I've always wanted to marry in the temple... but... should that really come between love?
I know a lot of mormon women who fell desperately in love only to dump their fiance just because they had different beliefs or didn't want to marry in the temple. But, the temple is a symbol of living with your loved one for eternity... if I can't have that at least I'll live with him in this life time.
On another but similar subject. Ana was listening to me as I was depressed about love. I said I wanted to get married but if my love had different beliefs the temple is something I'm willing to sacrifice. She stared at me with wide eyes and told me I was the first mormon that had ever said that and she was amazed. She told me that I'm right, nothing should come between true love but something that made me happy is that she said all church's can marry two people off for ever, a bond so strong that even death cannot part us.
I want that with Danny and I'm very sure he wants the same thing. He said he has no doubts of marrying me.
On another subject, he's the first guy that's ever said I'm cute, beautiful and sexy and that everyday I become more radiant to him and everday he loves me more.
On the subject of sex: He's completely willing to wait for me or at least until I'm ready. I love that he respects me and when I say no or stop he does without hesitation.
Anyway, that's it, I've ranted too much.
~Crystal