FIC: For misspamela
So, it's misspamela's birthday today and I come bearing fic. :D
Title: It's all about the BS
Pairing: Brian Schechter/Steven Smith
Rating: PG, maybe PG-13
Disclaimer: Yeah, this never happened... and probably won't happen since it takes place in the not so distant future...
Summary: Nanny or manny... kidfic
Notes: I hope that you like it, miss p! Happy Birthday!
"What?" Brian asks when Steven walks into the room and stops dead in his tracks. "It comes with the job."
Steven, for his part, tries to keep from laughing, but he fails. Miserably. Clutching the edge of the closest chair, he bends over and laughs as hard as he can until he's gasping for breath and coughing. He turns back to Brian. "Don't tell me that they can't afford babysitters because I won't believe you. If I had a kid, I could afford a babysitter, but I don't. Should I invest in one?"
Brian glares and wipes Christmas Star Way's mouth with a damp cloth for the millionth time. "You." He points his finger at Christmas and she reaches out to try and grab it. "Don't take after either your father or your uncle. You can, however, take after your mother. She I can handle." He bends down and glances at Steven over Chrissy's head before looking at her again. "And whatever you do, don't take after Steven. One loud mouth VJ is all I can handle."
"And you handle him very well." Steven laughs again. "For serious, you're telling me that you get to play nanny in the green room to a runt while the boys get to be interviewed by none other than the awesome and amazing yours truly. That's bad luck, man. This is why I don't manage a band."
"The actual nanny is sick." Brian stands up and cracks his back. He's getting too old for this. "You would have given your left nut to manage My Chem. Admit it."
Rubbing his chin, Steven makes his way over to the playpen someone had set up. "My left? I was thinking my right. Or maybe neither. My eyes. I would have given my eyes."
"Yeah, well, you can't have them." Brain ruffles the littlest Way's hair. She's calmed down since Steven came in the room. She must be a fan. In a few years she'll be chasing after him. If he doesn't manage to blow up the Fuse studios first. There had been some odd rumors about Christmas tree lights and pyrotechnics back in July. Oh, and one couldn't forget the canceled Untitled episode called Steven's Bodacious Christmas in July Spectacular! Brian doesn't ask; he figures it's for the best.
"Well, we can hop in a train and head down to good old Massachusetts and get hitched. Then what's yours is mine, but not necessarily the other way around."
"Yeah, sure." Brian looks at the door. "So if you're here that must mean the boys are finished and I am free from babysitting the sprog."
"They're doing the autograph thing. Been awhile since My Chemical Romance has been to the Fuse. Lots of new people."
Brian sighs.
"Though I think Gerard ducked out to go find the nearest Starbucks."
"Do you want to go and find Uncle Jiggy, Chrissy?" Brian's voice is pitched higher than usual, but the only witness is Steven and if he has a problem with it, Steven can blow him. Bending over for what he hopes is the last time that day, Brian picks her up and settles her on his hip. Pulling her fingers out of her mouth with a sticky, wet pop, she reaches out and presses them against the Riot Squad tattoo on Brian's neck. Brian groans. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tries not to think about baby slobber caking on his neck.
"That looks nasty, dude. How old is she?" Steven grabs the tiny hat and coat from the table and puts them on her while Brian holds her still.
Or as still as he was able to hold a squirming Way child. Brian would have hated to see Gerard at this age.
"Almost six months, I think. Not nearly old enough."
"Fudgecicle. I sense touring issues."
Brain nodded and headed toward the door. "Lead the way to coffee, man. Maybe the smell will make the child sleep. God knows how much her father and uncle drink."
***
Gerard is standing outside of the Starbucks with a latte in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
Snatching the cigarette, Brian hands over the kid. "Your niece. Have fun." He takes a long drag and savors the taste of the nicotine. It does his addicted soul good. "Fuck, in the future we're hiring a babysitter when the nanny is sick and Alicia is doing Alicia things."
"You owe the swear jar a nickel, Bri." Gerard is smiling though as he pushes his nose against Chrissy's. "How's my fairy princess? We need to get you a tiara and a magic wand."
"No wand. The kid will hit everyone with it." Brian rummages through his pockets. Reciepts, lighter, a scrap of paper with a phone number he's supposed to call on it, a flash drive and gloves, but no cash. There is no way he's putting a cup of joe on his debit card. That's just pushing it. He glances over at Steven. Who has vanished. Asshole. "Goddamnit!"
"Can you say that Uncle Bri Bri needs to put a dime in the swear jar, Chrissy?"
"You keep up with the Uncle Bri Bri shit, Gee, and I'll stuff you in the swear jar. You abandoned me with a kid!"
"Chrissy says that you need to put twenty cents in the jar." Gee grins. "Besides, she's not my kid to abandon with you. She's my fairy princess niece."
"At least she'll have Bob as a masculine influence." Steven reappears next to him and smirks, pushing a cup of coffee into Brian's hand. Brian knew there was a reason that Steven was his favorite VJ in existence.
"Fuck you," Gerard says, but he's laughing.
"That's a nickel for the swear jar, Uncle Jiggy." Brian laughs too (it's contagious after all) and sips his coffee.
***
"Every time I see you there is a tiny Way nearby. Why is that?"
Steven sits down on the floor next to Brian. They're in the green room at Fuse studios again. This time the boys are going to be performing on the new live show that Brian can't remember the name of. Shows are short lived at the Fuse. Sort of like a teenagers attention span. The only one that lasts is Steven's Untitled. Well, that and Pants Off, Dance Off, but anything that's basically a striptease doesn't count. It's just there to stimulate the baser natures. Not that Brian has ever watched it.
"Well, this time it's because Alicia is helping to tech and the nanny was fired. They're big boys. They don't need me watching their every move."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Steven grins. It probably means trouble. "So far Frank has knocked over a amp while practicing, and then he kicked it." Steven pauses. "I'm not really sure why. He was laughing at the time, but yeah, he kicked it and now he's limping around and trying to trip Ray or Gerard. Spread the pain around I suppose. He keeps muttering about adversity under his breath."
"Fuck it." Brian stands up with Chrissy tucked under one arm giggling.
"One," Steven chuckles, "I don't think that's a condoned way for carrying a kid, and two, isn't it a better idea to go with Fudgcicle in front of the kidlet? Less money in the swear jar means more money left to me in your Will."
Brian rolls his eyes and hands Chrissy over to Steven. "Fine. You can demonstrate proper child handling techniques for all while I go and kill my rhythm guitarist. And the only thing you're getting in my Will is my Wii."
"Sweet! Don't forget to tell Gee you owe him a nickel for the swear jar!"
Brian flicks him off. Gee and his fucking swear jar. Steven and his fucking smile.
***
"All children should be named after holidays." Steven hands Brian a cup of non-alcoholic nog. "I just spent the better part of an hour extolling the virtues of naming the first Iero-Nester sprog Easter Egg to Jamia."
"If you tell me that Frank thinks that's a good idea, I'm going to kick your ass."
"I think he's leaning toward April Shaolin or something. Which is equally as brilliant."
Brian chokes. "I'm going to kick everyone's asses. Stop giving them bad ideas."
"Bad ideas equal good TV." Steven smiles. "Not that I worry about good TV. All I need are good bands. The sweet sounds of music stir my soul."
Brian rolls his eyes. "The nauseating sound of your voice turns my stomach."
"You don't mind it when the littlest Way is lurking in your vicinity."
Brian shrugs and shifts and ends up closer to Steven then he means to. "Chrissy likes the sound of your voice. I think Mikey watches the Untitled with her. He likes your interviews."
"And don't forget Rock History 101. The most brilliant segment of the show. I had Mikey in once for that segment. We expanded it to half a show on the Smiths and Morrissey. That kid knows his shit."
Brian nods.
"Hey, I'm sure you're not, but I was wondering." Steven shifts from one foot to the other.
"About?"
"There's this new group and they're stuck in a basement but the music is sweet."
"And you're friends with one of the band and thought that maybe I could check 'em out?"
"Well, no. I don't know any of them, actually, but yeah, I thought that maybe we could go and check 'em out. Not as a label man, dude. As just dudes."
There's a cough behind them and Brian and Steven turn as one to see Mikey, Alicia, and Christmas. "I think," Mikey starts, "that Steven just asked you out on a date, Bri." He laughs. "Oh my God, I need to go tell Gee right now! He's gonna be jealous."
"I want to see the look of his face." Alicia holds out Chrissy. "Can you please take her for a minute, Brian. If I don't hurry, I'll miss it!"
Without thinking, Brian takes Chrissy. He's always taking Chrissy. Well, at least her parents don't forget her. It's an improvement to the absent-minded Way family.
"You, uh, didn't answer."
"What?" Brian looks from Chrissy's fingers (firmly placed in her mouth and accompanied by loud sucking noises) to Steven. "About?"
"The show." He coughs.
Brian thinks that he prefers the always joking and never nervous Steven. This one is a little too, well, not Steven Smith.
"Depends. Is it actually a date?"
Steven opens his mouth to answer, but Brian cuts him off. "Actually. Yeah, I'll go. But you've got to promise to be on your worst behavior."
Steven laughs. Chrissy pops the fingers out of her mouth so she can laugh too. Of course this means that her fingers go straight to the riot squad tattoo again. Chrissy, Brian already knows, is gross.
***
"Well?"
Brain has tried all night to shut off the manager portion of his brain and just enjoy the music. That's not to say that he isn't enjoying the music, it's just that he can feel that those boys on stage have potential. He wouldn't give his left (or right for that matter) nut to manage them but he could help them make something of their music and with the right manager they could fly.
His fingers are tapping on the side of his plastic cup, the beat heavy and pulsing. The riff is incredible, and again, Brian catches himself wondering what would happen if he gave that guitarist over to someone like Ray.
"Hey, you there, man?" Steven's fingers brush the back of Brian's neck and he starts.
"Wha? Oh, yeah. Right here. I haven't gone anywhere."
"See, I told you they were that good." Steven tugs on his ear. "I've got my ear to ground, dawg."
Brian can't help it, he laughs. He always laughs when Steven tell his horrible jokes or acts like a buffoon. He knows it's all an act, but it is a genuinely good intentioned act. Steven is a goofball of the best variety.
"If I could offer you even half the salary that you make at Fuse, I'd try to lure you away to be an A&R guy for my label."
The sound Steven makes can only be called a snort. "If less then half of my salary at Fuse is all you could squeeze out of your company, then I think I should offer to be a talent scout for free because that's just weak, man."
"Hey, it's Indie and it's doing all right for a company that's still in training pants." Brain glares. His finger doesn't stop tapping out the beat though.
"Back to kiddies are you? There are kid references even in your metaphors."
"Fuck off."
"That'll be a nickel-"
Brian leans up and kisses Steven. He figures it's the only sure fire way to shut him up. What Brian doesn't expect is for Steven to kiss him back.
Title: It's all about the BS
Pairing: Brian Schechter/Steven Smith
Rating: PG, maybe PG-13
Disclaimer: Yeah, this never happened... and probably won't happen since it takes place in the not so distant future...
Summary: Nanny or manny... kidfic
Notes: I hope that you like it, miss p! Happy Birthday!
"What?" Brian asks when Steven walks into the room and stops dead in his tracks. "It comes with the job."
Steven, for his part, tries to keep from laughing, but he fails. Miserably. Clutching the edge of the closest chair, he bends over and laughs as hard as he can until he's gasping for breath and coughing. He turns back to Brian. "Don't tell me that they can't afford babysitters because I won't believe you. If I had a kid, I could afford a babysitter, but I don't. Should I invest in one?"
Brian glares and wipes Christmas Star Way's mouth with a damp cloth for the millionth time. "You." He points his finger at Christmas and she reaches out to try and grab it. "Don't take after either your father or your uncle. You can, however, take after your mother. She I can handle." He bends down and glances at Steven over Chrissy's head before looking at her again. "And whatever you do, don't take after Steven. One loud mouth VJ is all I can handle."
"And you handle him very well." Steven laughs again. "For serious, you're telling me that you get to play nanny in the green room to a runt while the boys get to be interviewed by none other than the awesome and amazing yours truly. That's bad luck, man. This is why I don't manage a band."
"The actual nanny is sick." Brian stands up and cracks his back. He's getting too old for this. "You would have given your left nut to manage My Chem. Admit it."
Rubbing his chin, Steven makes his way over to the playpen someone had set up. "My left? I was thinking my right. Or maybe neither. My eyes. I would have given my eyes."
"Yeah, well, you can't have them." Brain ruffles the littlest Way's hair. She's calmed down since Steven came in the room. She must be a fan. In a few years she'll be chasing after him. If he doesn't manage to blow up the Fuse studios first. There had been some odd rumors about Christmas tree lights and pyrotechnics back in July. Oh, and one couldn't forget the canceled Untitled episode called Steven's Bodacious Christmas in July Spectacular! Brian doesn't ask; he figures it's for the best.
"Well, we can hop in a train and head down to good old Massachusetts and get hitched. Then what's yours is mine, but not necessarily the other way around."
"Yeah, sure." Brian looks at the door. "So if you're here that must mean the boys are finished and I am free from babysitting the sprog."
"They're doing the autograph thing. Been awhile since My Chemical Romance has been to the Fuse. Lots of new people."
Brian sighs.
"Though I think Gerard ducked out to go find the nearest Starbucks."
"Do you want to go and find Uncle Jiggy, Chrissy?" Brian's voice is pitched higher than usual, but the only witness is Steven and if he has a problem with it, Steven can blow him. Bending over for what he hopes is the last time that day, Brian picks her up and settles her on his hip. Pulling her fingers out of her mouth with a sticky, wet pop, she reaches out and presses them against the Riot Squad tattoo on Brian's neck. Brian groans. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tries not to think about baby slobber caking on his neck.
"That looks nasty, dude. How old is she?" Steven grabs the tiny hat and coat from the table and puts them on her while Brian holds her still.
Or as still as he was able to hold a squirming Way child. Brian would have hated to see Gerard at this age.
"Almost six months, I think. Not nearly old enough."
"Fudgecicle. I sense touring issues."
Brain nodded and headed toward the door. "Lead the way to coffee, man. Maybe the smell will make the child sleep. God knows how much her father and uncle drink."
***
Gerard is standing outside of the Starbucks with a latte in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
Snatching the cigarette, Brian hands over the kid. "Your niece. Have fun." He takes a long drag and savors the taste of the nicotine. It does his addicted soul good. "Fuck, in the future we're hiring a babysitter when the nanny is sick and Alicia is doing Alicia things."
"You owe the swear jar a nickel, Bri." Gerard is smiling though as he pushes his nose against Chrissy's. "How's my fairy princess? We need to get you a tiara and a magic wand."
"No wand. The kid will hit everyone with it." Brian rummages through his pockets. Reciepts, lighter, a scrap of paper with a phone number he's supposed to call on it, a flash drive and gloves, but no cash. There is no way he's putting a cup of joe on his debit card. That's just pushing it. He glances over at Steven. Who has vanished. Asshole. "Goddamnit!"
"Can you say that Uncle Bri Bri needs to put a dime in the swear jar, Chrissy?"
"You keep up with the Uncle Bri Bri shit, Gee, and I'll stuff you in the swear jar. You abandoned me with a kid!"
"Chrissy says that you need to put twenty cents in the jar." Gee grins. "Besides, she's not my kid to abandon with you. She's my fairy princess niece."
"At least she'll have Bob as a masculine influence." Steven reappears next to him and smirks, pushing a cup of coffee into Brian's hand. Brian knew there was a reason that Steven was his favorite VJ in existence.
"Fuck you," Gerard says, but he's laughing.
"That's a nickel for the swear jar, Uncle Jiggy." Brian laughs too (it's contagious after all) and sips his coffee.
***
"Every time I see you there is a tiny Way nearby. Why is that?"
Steven sits down on the floor next to Brian. They're in the green room at Fuse studios again. This time the boys are going to be performing on the new live show that Brian can't remember the name of. Shows are short lived at the Fuse. Sort of like a teenagers attention span. The only one that lasts is Steven's Untitled. Well, that and Pants Off, Dance Off, but anything that's basically a striptease doesn't count. It's just there to stimulate the baser natures. Not that Brian has ever watched it.
"Well, this time it's because Alicia is helping to tech and the nanny was fired. They're big boys. They don't need me watching their every move."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Steven grins. It probably means trouble. "So far Frank has knocked over a amp while practicing, and then he kicked it." Steven pauses. "I'm not really sure why. He was laughing at the time, but yeah, he kicked it and now he's limping around and trying to trip Ray or Gerard. Spread the pain around I suppose. He keeps muttering about adversity under his breath."
"Fuck it." Brian stands up with Chrissy tucked under one arm giggling.
"One," Steven chuckles, "I don't think that's a condoned way for carrying a kid, and two, isn't it a better idea to go with Fudgcicle in front of the kidlet? Less money in the swear jar means more money left to me in your Will."
Brian rolls his eyes and hands Chrissy over to Steven. "Fine. You can demonstrate proper child handling techniques for all while I go and kill my rhythm guitarist. And the only thing you're getting in my Will is my Wii."
"Sweet! Don't forget to tell Gee you owe him a nickel for the swear jar!"
Brian flicks him off. Gee and his fucking swear jar. Steven and his fucking smile.
***
"All children should be named after holidays." Steven hands Brian a cup of non-alcoholic nog. "I just spent the better part of an hour extolling the virtues of naming the first Iero-Nester sprog Easter Egg to Jamia."
"If you tell me that Frank thinks that's a good idea, I'm going to kick your ass."
"I think he's leaning toward April Shaolin or something. Which is equally as brilliant."
Brian chokes. "I'm going to kick everyone's asses. Stop giving them bad ideas."
"Bad ideas equal good TV." Steven smiles. "Not that I worry about good TV. All I need are good bands. The sweet sounds of music stir my soul."
Brian rolls his eyes. "The nauseating sound of your voice turns my stomach."
"You don't mind it when the littlest Way is lurking in your vicinity."
Brian shrugs and shifts and ends up closer to Steven then he means to. "Chrissy likes the sound of your voice. I think Mikey watches the Untitled with her. He likes your interviews."
"And don't forget Rock History 101. The most brilliant segment of the show. I had Mikey in once for that segment. We expanded it to half a show on the Smiths and Morrissey. That kid knows his shit."
Brian nods.
"Hey, I'm sure you're not, but I was wondering." Steven shifts from one foot to the other.
"About?"
"There's this new group and they're stuck in a basement but the music is sweet."
"And you're friends with one of the band and thought that maybe I could check 'em out?"
"Well, no. I don't know any of them, actually, but yeah, I thought that maybe we could go and check 'em out. Not as a label man, dude. As just dudes."
There's a cough behind them and Brian and Steven turn as one to see Mikey, Alicia, and Christmas. "I think," Mikey starts, "that Steven just asked you out on a date, Bri." He laughs. "Oh my God, I need to go tell Gee right now! He's gonna be jealous."
"I want to see the look of his face." Alicia holds out Chrissy. "Can you please take her for a minute, Brian. If I don't hurry, I'll miss it!"
Without thinking, Brian takes Chrissy. He's always taking Chrissy. Well, at least her parents don't forget her. It's an improvement to the absent-minded Way family.
"You, uh, didn't answer."
"What?" Brian looks from Chrissy's fingers (firmly placed in her mouth and accompanied by loud sucking noises) to Steven. "About?"
"The show." He coughs.
Brian thinks that he prefers the always joking and never nervous Steven. This one is a little too, well, not Steven Smith.
"Depends. Is it actually a date?"
Steven opens his mouth to answer, but Brian cuts him off. "Actually. Yeah, I'll go. But you've got to promise to be on your worst behavior."
Steven laughs. Chrissy pops the fingers out of her mouth so she can laugh too. Of course this means that her fingers go straight to the riot squad tattoo again. Chrissy, Brian already knows, is gross.
***
"Well?"
Brain has tried all night to shut off the manager portion of his brain and just enjoy the music. That's not to say that he isn't enjoying the music, it's just that he can feel that those boys on stage have potential. He wouldn't give his left (or right for that matter) nut to manage them but he could help them make something of their music and with the right manager they could fly.
His fingers are tapping on the side of his plastic cup, the beat heavy and pulsing. The riff is incredible, and again, Brian catches himself wondering what would happen if he gave that guitarist over to someone like Ray.
"Hey, you there, man?" Steven's fingers brush the back of Brian's neck and he starts.
"Wha? Oh, yeah. Right here. I haven't gone anywhere."
"See, I told you they were that good." Steven tugs on his ear. "I've got my ear to ground, dawg."
Brian can't help it, he laughs. He always laughs when Steven tell his horrible jokes or acts like a buffoon. He knows it's all an act, but it is a genuinely good intentioned act. Steven is a goofball of the best variety.
"If I could offer you even half the salary that you make at Fuse, I'd try to lure you away to be an A&R guy for my label."
The sound Steven makes can only be called a snort. "If less then half of my salary at Fuse is all you could squeeze out of your company, then I think I should offer to be a talent scout for free because that's just weak, man."
"Hey, it's Indie and it's doing all right for a company that's still in training pants." Brain glares. His finger doesn't stop tapping out the beat though.
"Back to kiddies are you? There are kid references even in your metaphors."
"Fuck off."
"That'll be a nickel-"
Brian leans up and kisses Steven. He figures it's the only sure fire way to shut him up. What Brian doesn't expect is for Steven to kiss him back.